make way for the s.s.dickamy

Ariel would be down to do it, but Amy's absolutely against it, bc on paper it sounds really interesting and Oracle likes interesting, but Amy sees it for what it is, a snipe hunt.

No one's ever seen Oracle, they don't even know Oracle is more than one person. For all they know, its a polyglot insomniac who is perpetually online and involved in aiding and abetting at least a dozen crimes.

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dick was easy. gymnastics and acrobatics run deep within his veins and it’s always his “party trick”, so they just let the public come up with an answer themselves.

jason, mysterious as he is, never addressed his bumps and bruises. the public have settled on underground cage fighting.

tim’s was skateboarding and being “himself”. tim knows how he appears to the public, and as much as it pains his ego for people to see him in such a way, clumsiness fit his charming, dorky, public persona.

damian needs no excuse as he is a ‘rambunctious little ankle biter’, so bruce just lets damian straight up tell people shit like “i was engaged in battle with a duel wielding madman” and then says “kids and their wild imaginations, amiright?”.

steph insisted on fencing even though bruce argued that she would not realistically get many black eyes from fencing. she just tells people she’s very bad at it.

cass’ are from ballet duets.

duke just says “there was a spider” with no further context.

harper’s go to line is “you should see the other guy”.

Bruce would happily mention that he's trying to bring more attention to lesser known sports to create more opportunities for the youth.

People would absolutely believe him because his self preservation isn't one of his greater known assets.

The Gotham Gazette does a story on the newly remodeled trains funded for by WE. And the picture for the article is Tim and Bruce riding the train; Tim asleep on Bruce's shoulder; Bruce holding a finger up to his lips asking the reporter not to wake his son.

Talk show host interviewing Bruce and Dick in the newly opened trampoline park that Bruce had built as a gift for Dick's birthday. Dick doing every available flip and trick imaginable in the background while Bruce tells the interview about how he plans to have the trampoline park available for free to impoverished kids and teenagers so they have a safe place to play.

Tabloids spotting Bruce taking all his kids to see the new baby elephant at the zoo. Damian is perched on top of Jason's shoulders so he can see over the crowd.

Text Post Meme but make it middle age and sexy

Or Robinese (or maybe you prefer the spelling Dick-tionary), whatever floats your boat. I wish people used all of these more often, they’re g-r-e-a-t. Including future slang + defenitions AND when it was first used for your pleasure!

Dick’s “unwords”:

Dick Grayson does NOT like affixes, and creates a-fix for them. Not all of these are opposites of an existing word though, and some are more punny than anything! In alphabetical order they are…

aster — a situation with good circumstance, a good positive experience. Opposite of disaster.

First used in: Schooled (01x05).

In a sentence: “If ‘dislike’ is the opposite of ‘like’, is ‘disaster’ the opposite of ‘aster’?”

concerted* — not worried, calm and composed. Opposite of disconcerted.

First used in: Drop-Zone (01x04)

In a sentence: “This mosquito’s mighty concerted over your pain.”

chalant — displaying anxiety, interest or enthusiasm. Opposite of nonchalant.

First used in: Alpha Male (01x13)

In a sentence: “Be as chalant as you’d like.”

ject** — to get rid off what’s left. 

First used in: Terminus (03x23)

In a sentence: “Now, let’s ject the rest!”

outfiltrate — infiltrating an infiltrator and disposing of them. Opposite of infiltrate.

First used in: Infiltrator (01x06)

In a sentence: “The infiltrators have been out-filtrated!”

renial — refusing to admit the truth or reality of something. Opposite of a being in denial.

First used in: The Pit (tie-in comic issue #11)

In a sentence: “You’re in denial Ra’s, ever though of being in ‘re-nial’ instead?”

sheveled — ordered, kept in a tidy way. Opposite of disheveled.

First used in: The Pendulum (tie-in comic issue #12)

In a sentence: “Really though he’d be a little less sheveled after that.”

turbed — being in a good state of mind or to be calm. Opposite of disturbed.

First used in: Welcome to Happy Harbour (01x03).

In a sentence: “Let’s see if you’re more turbed once we kick your can!”

traught — to stop worrying, to keep calm. Opposite of distraught.

First used in: Homefront (01x12)

In a sentence: “Well, get traught or get dead!”

whelmed*** — being level-headed or experiencing an event that falls neither below or above expectations. A “between word” for underwhelmed and overwhelmed.

First used in: Independence Day (01x01).

In a sentence: “You’re overwhelmed, Freeze was underwhelmed. Why isn’t anyone ever just whelmed?”

Bart’s future slang:

Bart Allen comes from 40 years in the future, and brought back some slang**** (and derivatives) that now everyone uses. Surprisingly, there hasn’t been a time paradox because of this. Yet.

crash — something good, awesome and rebellious.

First time used: Bloodlines (02x06)

In a sentence: “That’s so crash!”

meat — a derogary term for a non-Reach organic lifeform.

First time used: Salvage (02x04)

In a sentence: “Half the meat at Comic-Con is from my era.”

mode — feeling down or being defeated.

First time used: Bloodlines (02x06)

In a sentence: “Feeling the mode.”

Thanks for reading, now go and unleash your inner Dick and Bart to infect your friends with some nonsense blather!

*this is already a real word, not something Dick made up. It is still counted in the DICKtionary though.

**plenty of prefixes would suffice for “ject” (e-, sub-, re-, de-), and all of them are used. Also, Wally was the one who said “ject” first!

***technically, the word “whelmed” serves the same purpose as “overwhelmed”, with the latter being a word that superseded the former. This is apparently NOT the case on Earth-16, as no one actually corrects Dick on it (not even Artemis, who’s a college-level English proffesor). Who knew?

Art

I watched Under the Red Hood with a friend the other night

When Nightwing shows up for the first time a henchman goes “whose the pretty boy in a leotard?”

Meaning it only takes a passing glance to notice two things about Dick:

1. He is incredibly pretty

Batman has gone to great lengths to create the persona of “Bruce Wayne, upper class twit who could never be Batman.”

If Batman walked into the middle of Gotham Square and pulled off his mask and yelled “I, Bruce Wayne, am Batman!” The Headline would be “Bruce Wayne gets drunk at costume party, driven home by Commissioner James Gordon.”

And on that ride home:

Gordon: You are such a piece of shit you know that right? One of these days that’s not gonna work.

Bruce: *With the biggest shit eating grin ever* I know Jim, but it never stops being funny.

Gordon: So…. out of curiosity, how much money did Ollie lose to you this time?

Bruce: A gentleman never tells Jim, besides, its not about the money, its about the satisfaction of being right….. and the look on his face.

“I’m fine Alfred.”

“If you are, then prove it by putting on your socksies by your self.”

Two Face: Look I was friends with Bruce for years. He’s a nice guy, but doesn’t have the brains God gave a fiddler crab. He’s not Batman.

Riddler: I can confirm this. I took him and his board of directors hostage once. He tried to write me a check and got the check wrong. Four. Times. He had to ask his guy Lucius Fox to do it. It was just plain awkward for everyone involved.

Poison Ivy: Bruce is what we in the business call a Himbo, great to look at, a real sweetheart, but not much going on upstairs. I guarantee he’s not Batman.

Penguin: I’ve had Bruce Wayne as a guest at the Iceberg lounge before. Nice guy, excellent tipper, complete and utter moron. If he’s Batman I’ll eat my umbrella.

Joker: What? Oh yea of course Bruce Wayne is Batman. I mean obviously right?

Rest of the villains:……

Joker: Wait, you mean you guys didn’t know? I figured it out like the first day.

Penguin: You…. you’re joking right.

Joker: Penguin you will KNOW when I am joking. Seriously. No one else figured it out. No one. Just me. You guys are dumbasses.

Riddler: *Pinches bridge of nose* Okay…. so if Bruce Wayne is Batman, and you KNEW this the whole time, why not just KILL BRUCE WAYNE?

Joker: *As serious as a heart attack* because I’m not fighting Bruce Wayne, I’m fighting Batman. Obviously.