Diapered Sassy V2 - Sassy Ann

See what I did there? (I wonder if this will get many reblogs.) ;-)

Pray all you want, little guy, but there're no rainclouds coming to save you from your cousin's afternoon tea party at the park with all her friends.

BTW, have fun with all the new parental locks on your computer, I wouldn't try accessing anything outside of Slack, Gmail and PBSkids.org if I were you. Don't act like you're not enjoying this, the guys in IT gave me a full report. Did you think "private browsing" was really private?"

"Besides, the drive to the store will give you some time to sit in your carseat and think about how you should be more appreciative of the few times I bother to listen to your incessant requests for adult luxuries like "dignity", "privacy" and "choice." Just be thankful I've already changed your diaper recently, or that'd be on the agenda as well. But don't worry, next week I won't be bothering to replace your putrid Pampers until we've reached the parking lot, either before we shop... or maybe after."

Otherwise, you won't be getting lights out until the early AM diaper check Daddy normally gives you - almost always "accidentally" waking you up in the process and gloating about the fact that his body woke him up to use the potty, while proudly confirming that you've once again helplessly soaked your Pampers in your sleep.

Mommy loves this for you…

Sure, you've been drugged, muzzled and blackmailed into living your foreseeable future as part of a "super-squad" of fellow diaper-boys who are expected to play Paw Patrol all-day, everyday for the amusement of some insane millionaire, but at least you get to be Chase!

Provided I ever let you go back to doing either of those..."

You're just so precious when you beg. How could they deny their Pampered Princess his very special day?

You used to be embarrassed when Daddy changed your Pampers at the park... these days, you're just glaring at him from behind your bottle because he interrupted playtime on the jungle gym with a very thourough diaper check that could have waited for the walk back to the minivan - ugh, he's such a showoff.

The embarrassing ordeal of this morning’s neighborhood-wide egg hunt may be behind you, but the annual family Easter get-together has only just begun. Hearing your name called from the living room for the second time, and knowing from experience that a bare-bottom spanking awaits you if a third is required, you start to waddle your way towards the next several hours of relentless sissy-baby humiliation...

You didn't think the extended sissy punishment that you'd earned by briefly straying from Daddy's side at the mall could get any worse, until you overheard "Grandma" suggesting that it'd be much easier for Papa to keep track of his reluctant lil' princess if he just starts putting you in a walking harness and tap-shoes during your daily outings.

Internally, you're screaming at yourself to stop, to unbuckle the restraints, to tear off the diaper you've been slowly filling up all afternoon, to run out the door and return to your old adult life - but only the look in your eyes gives any indication of whats really going on inside the giant, messy toddler thats mindlessly feeding himself while "Daddy" takes yet another video to share online. No doubt about it... the hypnosis is working, just like the "grown-ups" said it would.

Seeing the delivery drivers continuing to drop off countless pallets of pristine Pampers at the gift table, you knew that day would never come.

It's impossible to be certain, seeing as the grownups took the clock out of your nursery a few months ago - but judging by the fact that you're recently up from your afternoon nap, your daytime diaper feels about half full and the adults are very audibly enjoying their Sunday "wrestling" session, you're pretty sure that's it's currently 3pm. Based on the all-too-familiar noises coming through the wall, you'll most likely be getting let out of your crib just in time for a bath, dinner and bedtime...