Uncensensored

Today I started my new job, I was so excited I had anxiety! For 2 reasons: 1 I was happy to be getting back into the working field since i’ve been out of the game for a year, but that also made me nervous, like I seriously forgot how to work the copier. 2 this whole time i’ve been home with the kids, especially the 10 month old. That kid has not left my side for more than 2 hour and even then he is with dad in the living room. So imagine how I felt leaving my baby with a complete stranger I almost hyperventilated. 

Have you ever felt like thing just wasn’t going the way you really needed them to? Like the universe is working against you?

Today the hubby and I decided to clean the house, that sounds harmless enough right? It wasn’t. As we cleaned the house thing 1 and 2 came right behind us and hit it like a hurricane. So we quite for a while until they ran out the early morning energy and dropped like flies. Then what do you know thing 3 (hubby) dropped too. I guess that’s better for me because he wasn’t any help anyway.

So I did what I do best and put on my headphone and got to work. As I was cleaning I ran across one of my many junk draws and started cleaning it out, why do we have junk draws we don’t use anything in them, but I can’t bring myself to empty it. Anyway I cleaned what I knew for a fact I wouldn’t need.

Than started paying bill, I get so depressed when it come to paying/looking at bill. My whole mood changed, I went from listening to some upbeat Beyonce “Who Runs the World” to Sam Smith “Too Good at Goodbyes.” Don’t get me wrong i absolutely love that song ,but you get the point. I’m way to good at goodbyes when it comes to my money. I guess we have to do some free stuff today and for the next two weeks (sad face). Park here we come or T.V.

Who am i kidding, it's definitely T.V.

I am trying something new, I am putting myself out there for the world to see. I will start off by telling you a little about ME. First I am a wife to a fairly strange husband, but he is only strange to me. To everyone else he is pretty normal. We have been married for 4 years, together for 6, and known each other for 10. We started off in a typical relationship. Boy likes girl, girl doesn’t like boy. Boy wins girl over. Boy has crazy girlfriend who “wasn’t” his girlfriend at the time. We played this game all through high school, and I finally had a enough. When I went to break it off with him, he decide to get his act together. Which brings us currents.

We have 2 beautiful boys 4 years old and 10 months. Our boys are my life, but man do they get on my nerves. Running, jumping, toys everywhere, mommie mommie mommie, give me give me, give me. I told my 4 year old I was changing my name from mommie to something else and he almost blew a gasket.

Anyways my goal here is to have something for just ME, as mothers we barely do anything for ourselves and that is what I have been struggling with for the past year. Finding something that is just mine, not me and the kids, not me and the hubby, mine. I have tried asking for help from different people and I get asked the same questions: What do you do for yourself? What do you like to do? If money was not an issue what would you do? And honestly I don’t have an answer for those. I don’t have a “selfish” activity that is just for me. Everything I do, want to do, or see myself doing is helping people. EVEN THIS, lol I love my future followers already, and look forward to making new friends that I can give and receive advice from.

Thank you,