The Dialogue In My Head

My life with my mother in a nutshell. She knows I hate when people say “Guess”. Why do I want to guess when you can just tell me? It’s positively obnoxious.

She knows I hate it so much she says, “Don’t say *oh for Christ’s sake* either!” (little translation for you, she’s a puzzle it out texter).

Hi Nice Anon :) 

Nope, nope, nope, this is all on me. For my age, as an adult, I am really stunted mentally/emotionally from missing a big portion of adulthood where you develop all these “I can deal with stuff” skills from being in different life situations. I’ve worked super hard over the years to catch myself up, and I try. 

I did not.

I had “a day” yesterday. I was in a situation in which I couldn’t control my emotions as much as I would like, and am comfortable with. This caused me to “burn it all down” so to speak. Take away every nice thing, and be back to the bare bones of the very edited and comfortable level I maintain here. It’s like this place I can control, and I was feeling vulnerable in my life, so I took it out on my blog, a place I try for the most part to not be vulnerable.

I feel a bit more settled today, although I feel more awakened in a somewhat sad way. I do know that continuing on a path with patience and kindness can happen, even when I am trying to logically protect myself. Life is hard. You can’t always get what you want. Please toss in a cliche of your own.

It seems as though I can’t over-drink anymore. I’m enjoying my drinks, or my beer, or my wine, and then I magically shut down at 3. Three is the magic number. It’s a good thing, of course, I just find it strange that my body/mind has some sort of “you’re an adult, act like one” regulator on it.

Never Get Attached To Someone Unless They Feel The Same About You

Well no shit Sherlock. Thanks for the unprecedented wisdom.

I’m going to influence millions with my groundbreaking advice:

Don’t Ever Get Attached To Anyone.