It’s been months since I’ve finally felt at peace with myself. And this past month was undeniably the toughest thing I’ve had to go through mentally - I didn’t think I was capable, I didn’t think I was smart enough, I was scared of disappointing everyone who was rooting for me. But I am so, so thankful to have gone through that pain. Because the day that determined my whole career/future came. And I was so ready to cry bcos I was certain I’d fail. But the moment I found out I passed, I’ve never felt the amount of joy and happiness I experienced in that moment. I put my trust in Him even when I constantly doubted myself. & being forced to be alone made me reevaluate what’s truly important. Who I want to be, the people who will be by my side even at my lowest, & especially thanking Him no matter what place you’re at in life. Because if you place your trust in Him, you will always be on the right path. Hence, I appreciate the most difficult moments in life just as much as the happiest times I’ve ever experienced. There really is beauty in the struggle & it’s hard to realize that when you’re actually in that dark hole. Anywho, it’s safe to say I’m extremely content with this moment in time. & I know this euphoria won’t last forever, but it’s okay. Times like these make me realize how much I need to be patient & have faith & continue to give to the world that’s given everything to me (even during the bad times.) Reading Milk & Honey was everything I needed to hear rn. It’s crazy how it brought me back to emotions I forgot existed (both emotionally heart-wrenching but also inexplicably happy moments). It just made me reflect on who I want to be from this point on. No matter what I just wna stay grounded & spread my love to others who need it. I know as the days pass, my mood & life is not gna be all butterflies and rainbows like it feels atm…. but despite the hard days, I still wna be that positive influence on others. Because I am happy w/ myself, still learning & growing, but I want nothing more to be a guiding light for others who are lost. Because they deserve to know their self-worth. Because everyone deserves self-love. *now read my favorite excerpts from Milk & Honey hehe ^^^*
