Dead Man's Hand

     "You go gettin' any redder they'll be able to spot you from across the Colorado, kid."

     ”Y’know, they say a picture lasts longer, but I reckon I’ve got me a hope those wanderin’ eyes’ll turn into wanderin’ hands someday.”

     ”Sorry, chief. Metal-man like you, I’m sure you’ll survive it. No hard feelin’s and all that.”

     ”You pull this fuckin’ arrow outta me, I’ll owe you a drink. Hell, I’ll owe you the whole damn bar. God Almighty this hurts.”

     ”Whoof, far be it from me to speak ill of a lady, but you smell like you just crawled outta the Devil’s kitchen on taco night.”

     "¿Qué onda, señorita?" 

     "Gotta appreciate a man who knows a good hat when he sees it."

     *The Booty Song plays in the distance*

*distant hooting, hollering*

     "Beggin' your pardon, mister, but it seems to me a fella wearin' a dead dog on his head ain't got a lotta room to talk about silly hats."

Russ is actually a damned good cook. That high survival score and all the time he's spent out on the road getting by on what he could get from the land means he's got a knack for making even gecko meat or roasted iguana taste a lot more palatable than you'd expect, and if you actually give him good materials to work from he'll make you the best meal you've ever had.