white noise

“I designed a tattoo for him…”

“Yeah, that’s a good place to start, but that’s your job, isn’t it? You need to do something that makes him feel special, too.”

“Yeah, I do.”

“Then a good place to start is talking to him about those things. Show him that you care about what he’s interested in. If you’re interested in them too, then that’s not too hard, is it?”

“Tea, nature, tattoos, animals, photography.”

“And do you like those things too?”

“No one else does? I don’t see how they don’t.”

“Yeah I don’t know either. Welcome to the great injustice that is my life.”

“Oh…”

“Just... tell me about this boy. What does he like?”

“That’s… odd.”

“Yeah. Apparently we’re the only two people who think so.”

“I’m sorry…”

“I can’t help you flirt if you don’t believe in yourself, at least the tiniest bit!”

“You can’t just get confidence.”

“Jesus Christ, kid. I’m trying to help you.”

“I don’t understand…”

“I got fired from my last job for ‘speaking my mind’ too much. Now I can’t be trusted to take coffee orders on my own.”

“I don’t…”

“I know you don’t have confidence in your flirting abilities. It’s pretty obvious. That’s why I’m telling you to get some.”

“Why can’t you?”

“Because of my reputation. According to my manager everything I do has a hidden secret agenda.”

“He isn’t mine.”

“He could be, but not if you talk like that. Have more confidence in yourself.”

“I don’t know.”

“One of my coworkers doesn’t say any of the names anymore. She just calls out the type of drink it was. But if I did that, everyone would be up in arms.”

“That’s not what I meant…” 

“Then do it. Practice on me so you can melt your boy’s heart later.”

“You just have to say the name they give you…”

“I shouldn’t have to if it’s practically offensive.”

“I don’t know if I should…”

“If you’re worried I’m going to fall for you, I won’t. I’m super gay.”

“You have to with your job.”

“I’m a fucking barista not a political strategist or something.”