ready or not. here I come. you can't hide.

“This day just keeps getting better and better,” I hissed under my breath. Honestly, I should have seen this coming. I mean, I thought I heard a heartbeat coming up the driveway, but—- everywhere else looked so deserted. And that creep said isolation was part of the sentence or something. But even if there was someone else in town, I didn’t think they would have the balls to waltz right through the front door. I mean, it’s not exactly like I would have held it open it for just anyone… And why would I? It’s my fucking house. It was bad enough Bonnie was going to be taking up space here now… Some douche I don’t know—-

Yeah. No.

 “Has anyone ever told you…?” I trailed off, eyes narrowing even further when the kid decided to help himself to my good stash. Heeeeeell no. Despite Bonster bitching in the background, I made my move. In less than a second, I was on him, knocking the glass out of his hand—- it shattering to the the floor in a thousand different pieces as his spine smacked into the nearest wall. The impact was hard enough to feel the vibration, hear the wood creaking.

“Listen up, dick wad. I don’t know who you are, and honestly, I don’t care. This—- this is my fucking house. That’s my booze your drinking, my 2000 dollar sheets on the bed. It’s been in my family for over 250 years, and I am not giving it up to some prick off the street just because you waltzed in here like you own the place.” My arm that was braced against his chest lifted up higher, putting the pressure squarely against his windpipe. Not enough to choke, just enough to make a point.

“Yeah, I know Joshua. Him and his pack of tacky-cloaked, Halloween special idiots.” I hate that holier-than-thou prick who still think it’s trendy to wear capes to their secret cult meetings.

I shrugged.

“The fuckers ganged up on me. Not a fair fight, twenty-odd, witchy-woo-packing goons against one hell of a murderous vampire.” I watched him carefully, before making a subtle gesture towards Bonnie. “And her, too, obviously. She grabbed onto me right before the magic hit… for some fucking reason.” I released the kid now that the heat was starting to cool off. “They’re pissy because I killed from their bloodline, alright? Your bloodline, I’m guessing. You smell like him… something in the blood. Anyway, I killed like twenty-five. Please. That’s not even close to my monthly quota. In the grand scheme of things, I barely touched their little circle. Especially with how many fucking kids those freaks pop out…” My brows pulled together slightly, “No offense.” 

This was bullshit. Fucking bullshit. If these twitchy, cult-creep-o motherfuckers thought this was how Damon Salvatore was gonna go down—- they had a big surprise coming to them. Namely, my fist through each of their fucking chests, in one side and a clean break straight through to the other. If I time it right, they’ll even have a few seconds to see their own heart pounding from outside their chest before it stops beating. But first, a drink. I need one bad. Alcoholic and otherwise. Jesus. Who knew people could get so sensitive? All I did was murder dozens of their kin over the course of 150 years. Lighten up.

Okay. So maybe I get why I’m here… but stranding me with Judgy? That doesn’t make any sense. She’s waaay too much of a girl scout to do anything even remotely awful. Well, unless you count nagging my ear off as awful. Then, she’s a fucking serial offender.

“—- will you just shut the hell up?” She blinked as she actually paused her tirade for a second… before her expression faded into something like disgust. No, wait. Not something like disgust. Definitely disgust. “I can’t even hear myself think with all the ragging you’re doing over there, mom.”

“Oh, yeah? Well, maybe I wouldn’t be ragging if—-” I didn’t even mind when the door swung open. Even though it wasn’t supposed to being as we were the only ones in this fucking mystic shoeb—-

“Wait, what? Who the fuck are you?” I was happy that for once, it seemed like me and ‘Bon-Bon’ were on the same page, both of us taking an offensive stance… Her with her witchy woo and me with fangs bared, ready to lunge. “Hey, you want to talk about rude, buddy? How about showing up to a party you weren’t invited to?” I hissed when he didn’t seem to be getting the hint. “Alright. You want to stay for dinner? Then how about making yourself useful: you can start by telling me who the hell you are and why the fuck you’re in my house.”

“Yeah, I’m—- well, I’m startin’ to blow on the outside. Nothin’ major, y’know—-” my shoulder blades rolled ‘til I felt the pop I was waitin’ on. “Damn, I’m gettin’ old.” Not like that’s possible, but let’s not get into it. The kid was clearly going through ‘ the [w]ringer ’ as is. “Yeah,” I said again, dead-ass starin’ him down at this point.

“I ain’t got shit to do with your dad’s bag’a tricks, but I do got a couple’a my own up these sleeves.” I took his hand despite the flack, glad we were finally movin’ this along. “If this was jus’ an excuse to play handsies, trust, I’d go for more than a handshake.” Before he got a chance to clap-back, I jerked him through the screen—- in one side and out another. Landin’ us in a hotel room in LA. None of that cheap shit, neither.

“This is where I was hangin’ but—- I can get myself another room, no problem. The room’s paid out for through month. Life of a up-n-comin’, I guess. So… I’ll move my shit: you can make yourself at home.”

“Right...” I hummed as I eyed him curiously, debating whether or not to question him on this life he was apparently living on the outside, though I decided against it. For now, at least. It was obvious he was in a rush to get out of here, and though I was still questioning my sanity, I didn’t want to get left behind in the odd chance this was actually real. “Yeah, you look ancient. Was beginning to question if my folks sent in a senile old man to torment me the rest of my life...” I rolled my eyes, sarcasm thick. Honestly, the guy looked just a few years older than I did. How he could be complaining about age already was beyond me.  “The fact you just climbed out that tv screen like something out of a sci-fi movie, I’m not about to argue with you on that point,” I stated simply, drawing in a deep breath and preparing myself for whatever the hell was about to happen. His comment brought a look to my face that made clear every word that got swallowed up before I had a chance to speak them. There was a rush through my entire body, blinking when my surroundings dissolved and then came back into a sharp focus, the room he’d landed us in taking my breath away.  “Holy shit...” I breathed after a long fucking pause, my brain only just now catching up with itself, moving to the window and peering out at the bustling streets below, the sounds of traffic and nightlife such a stark difference from the deathly silence of that fucking prison. “Holy shit...” I laughed before turning to face the man who not only was responsible for my freedom but was offering me a roof for a month. “Please tell me this isn’t a dream...” I whispered quietly, moving toward him with a ridiculous shake of my head. “Who the hell are you, and how did you just do... What you just did?” 

“Of course I know that, genius, but I was in the middle of a fuckin’ music video—-  or didn’t you notice? Prolly not, considerin’ you kept turning off the channel before I really got into it. You’re lucky I’m still feelin’ this whole helpin’-you-out- the-box thing after how many days it took to get through.” I rolled my eyes again. He was still givin’ me that look like I just took a shit in his cheerios. “Stop over-thinkin’ it. I’m not a fuckin’ acid trip.”

“Sure, your younger siblings were dicks, but that’s part of bein’ a kid, ain’t it? Your sister, on the other hand, she’s a prissy bitch,” I shrugged. “But I ain’t here to reminiscence. You want out of the box or not?” I shrugged, reachin’ out to him with one hand, the opposite foot already back through the TV screen. “Personally, I think it’d be a better option than dyin’ on a loop for the rest of forever, but hey. Maybe that’s your kink.”

“You don’t gotta know who I am. Take the hand or don’t. It’s that simple. I got shit to do, so… you decidin’ sometime today would be great.”

“A music video?” I asked with a soft frown, this little daydream only getting weirder and weirder. Or maybe it really wasn’t a dream at all. I mean, he definitely seemed real, his body looked fairly solid to me. And again with those reassurances, I mean, could he blame me? How long had I been in here now? It’d been years, I knew that much. It would be natural for my brain to start freaking out and giving me an imaginary friend to talk to. “Helping me out of the box?” I asked with a frown, talking myself out of feeling any kind of hope that freedom was an actual possibility. After all, wouldn’t my imagination conjure up just this? Giving me a false sense of security that this wasn’t my eternity.  Eyes flicking down to his outstretched hand, I shook my head with a ridiculous laugh. Could it really be this easy? Of course not. My dad wasn’t that much of an idiot. Though, at the end of the day, what did I have to lose, really? Huffing out a sigh, I rolled my eyes before taking his hand, surprised by the warmth radiating there.  Okay, I had to give my imagination props. It was making this whole situation feel pretty real to me.  “Happy? I mean, if you wanted to hold my hand, all you had to do was ask. You didn’t need to make up a whole story and promise me some freedom to do it...”

Rolling my eyes, I pressed my lips together and blew, lettin’ out that sound—- you know the one: like horses do, don’t they? “Will you stop that shit. Christ, bein’ a witch and all, I thought you’d be a lot more receptive to… well, shit outside the box. Alright, hang on one sec. Gotta change outta this fucking costume before I come in. This tacky-ass suit is kinda hot. No idea why anyone would wear this shit.” Stripping out of the clothes, a black box was coverin’ up my junk. “I did that one just for you. Appreciate it ‘cause I’m kinda the king of showin’ off when it comes to shit like that, but I was thinkin’ like—- ’ hey, not on the first date ’ or whatever. People and their sensitivities.” I snorted before I was pullin’ up a pair of black, baggy jeans that dissolved the box. Next was the white tee. Better. 

Suckin’ myself into the screen and back out the other side, I smiled, now standing in front of him. “Yo, you’re taller than you look from the other side. Than me. I mean, I didn’t choose the tallest form, but I ain’t that short, either.” I cracked a smile. It was genuine. “So how you holding up here? You all good? Not thinkin’ of giving up, I hope? From where I was sittin’… well, I got worried. I’ll give ya points for creativity, but… I mean, I don’t like the idea of you not being around. I don’t know. I kinda relate to the rebel in you. Makes me feel some type of way to see you so down, I guess… Though, for the record, you didn’t really need to take it out on the kids. Then again, I ask them if they like violence, so, man—- what the fuck do I know?”

“You do realise you’re fully in charge of your own wardrobe, you could have shown here in something a little...” I trailed off when the guy proceeded to strip down right there and then, blinking slowly at the set and questioning if this really was happening in my own mind. Firstly, that suit is something I’d never seen before, what kind of fucked up imagination did I have? And secondly, why is my mind casually censoring for me? “More comfortable...” I finished before rolling my eyes, annoyance beginning to build. Of course, my mind would conjure up a guy just annoying as me. Is this some kind of mental retribution?  Jaw hanging slack when the guy appeared from the screen like something out of a movie, I couldn’t tear my eyes off him even for a second. Blinking was out the question, part of me only a little worried he might disappear in that split second. Okay, maybe I could give my imagination some credit. “You’ve been watching me?” I asked in disbelief as I lifted the glass, moving toward this figment with a curious frown. He definitely seemed real. “I didn’t need to take it out on the kids?” I snorted, shaking my head ridiculously. “My siblings were just as bad as my parents. If you’d been watching, you’d know. But forget that little fact, why the hell do you care what happens to me? Out there or in here. We don’t know each other. If you’ve been reading up on me, that’s cool and all, but why do you care?”  I couldn’t understand what was happening despite trying my best to. I was a witch, the was for sure, though I hadn’t seen any kind of magic like this. Being able to travel through a television screen to a world that was designed solely for me? Why would you want to? “Who are you? And why are you watching me in here?”

@devilwithabrokenmind· | The Grunge King

                 Hi—- 

                               [signal lost]

                 Hi, my name—- 

                                      [signal lost]

                Hi, my name is—- 

                                           [signal lost]

               My name is—- 

I knocked on the screen before he could turn off the TV this time.

“Man, will you stop switchin’ off the fuckin’ set while I’m tryin’a talk? Unless you wanna stay alone in this bitch. I do have actual people that want to hear what’s on my mind. Jus’ thought you could use some company is all. People are social animals, ain’t they? It’s gotta be rough bein’ on your own like this. Even with what you did: yeah, I heard [on the news]. Your family’s still cold. I heard what you listened to out there, too. Dark stuff. But I can relate, y’know?… with fucked as it is out there…”

My palm ran over the back of my neck, wiping the sweat that was there. Stupid wig—- you know what? Fuck it. I took it off: leveled with him in a way. Showin’ me… without the get-up.

“So… do you mind if I let myself in? I can slip in through the airwaves, but… I ain’t comin’ if I ain’t wanted. Like I said before, I’ve got other places I could be. Anywhere I want, really.”

Ask me anything…