where did all the burgers go.
like everywhere. all the burgers are gone in all of osha.
I don't know but if they don't come back, my 4/20 plans will be ruined.
they're still not back 💔
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@determined-spirits
where did all the burgers go.
like everywhere. all the burgers are gone in all of osha.
I don't know but if they don't come back, my 4/20 plans will be ruined.
they're still not back 💔

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Alexandria wakes next to Jackie.
She sits up in her queen-size bed, and gets up. She's been living in this better world for a while. She's a pretty big fan of it, she guesses. Everything always goes her way. She catches sight of herself in a mirror, and stares. Everything except one thing.
Despite how good this world is... she's. not happy. at least, she doesn't think she is. She can't figure out what's wrong with her. Why can't she be happy? Is she just incapable of it, doomed to forever be miserable, lonely, and depressed? If it is, maybe she could take a look outsi
"Baby? Are you okay?" Jackie asks. She sits up in the bed, gazing at her... lovingly? concernedly.
"Yeah, um, no, I'm good," Alexandria replies, snapping her attention away from the mirror and disappearing it. She walks back to the bed to cuddle with her girlfriend.
"You know, you can do anything you want here. Why don't you just destroy all the mirrors? They're clearly not good for you," Jackie suggests.
"I've, uh.. tried. They just keep coming back."
"That's weird."
"Yeah."
A few moments of silence pass. Jackie is the first to speak up, like always.
"So, what'd you do today?"
"Same thing I do every day, dear. Lounge around, eat... drink."
"Hm. Whatever makes you happy, babe."
Some more silence. This time, Alexandria speaks up first.
"...Jackie?"
"Yeah?"
"Do you ever get... bored? Of this place, I mean."
Jackie's hold on her tightens.
"No, why?"
"It's, um... well.. could we sit up to talk about this?"
"...Of course."
They sit up, Alexandria a little farther away from Jackie than before.
"It's just, uh... well. There's never anything to do. Since we can't get anything from outs- sorry, i almost forgot you don't like me using that word. um. We don't get any external media, and anything I can make up just isn't entertaining."
A pause.
"I've... been considering leaving, just to see what's going on out there," Alexandria confesses.
Jackie seems to sit there in shock, and then grows... angry.
"What!? Why!? There's nothing out there for you, you'd just be dooming yourself to misery!" Jackie exclaims. She rants for a bit. A lot about how outside sucks, and how no one really appreciates her out there, and in here is great because she can have anything. It... drowns into a white noise.
Eventually, Alexandria thinks something. This isn't right, she realizes. Jackie wouldn't treat me this way.
Almost immediately, Jackie snaps her head at her and goes silent.
"What do you mean 'not right'? Am I not acting perfect enough for you? What, do you want me to just let you go outside and hurt yourself? No, of course I won't, because I care about you!"
Wait, did...
What was that?
Did her face just.. glitch?
And why does everything feel so... tight?
Alexandria, maybe unconsciously, pushes against the tightness, and...
pop. everything goes dark.
where did all the burgers go.
like everywhere. all the burgers are gone in all of osha.
where did all the burgers go.
"...and 3, 2, 1."
Immediately after Professor Cook utters '1', Jane appears halfway inside the wall of the room.
"beuh. Where am I. I sense there's a when am I, also."
She glances to her side.
"Hi Dad. Feeling older today?"
The class chuckles at that, while Professor Cook raises an eyebrow in mild confusion.
"Ahem, no, I think you have me confused with somebody else. No, I'm Professor Michael Cook, and I teach parapsychology and sundry other fringe disciplines here at the University of Chicago."
The Professor turns to his class, "As you can see, due to the nature of synchrometric phenomena, it is hard to predict the nature of a phenomenon if you already know the location of it. This is an example of..."
The Professor trails off, and a student raises their hand before answering, "Modified Heisenberg Uncertainty?"
"Yes! Excellent. As you all know, synchrometry is one of the only areas where classical and quantum can connect, and as a result, it's the only situation where classically-sized objects are directly subject to quantum phenomena. Now, my young, somewhat feline visitor, how about you introduce yourself to the class! We're always happy to meet strange new people!"
Well... this guy sounds like Mike. An older, nerdier Mike. Maybe it's Mike's grandpa?
'No, no. This must clearly be the Mike that dreamed Dad Mike into existence, having woken up from his dream at some point.... let's say 1989! Might not be the right date, but oh well.,' Jackie chimes in from the back of the mind, watching some weird not-show called 'Toon Force'.
As Jackie says all that, Jane pushes herself out of the wall, this time not damaging it. It's a strange sight.
"I'm, um. Jane Doe. She/her. I don't know how much you all know about where I come from, so I won't elaborate on the mik- professor cook dad thing. um. I'm an alien? well I'm like 76% alien. Also undead and magical. And 100% put on the spot."
"Ah. And I see you're plural as well. I've had a tulpa or two in my day!" the Professor remarks, grabbing onto her arm to help tug her out of the wall, despite his strength being frankly negligible compared to Jane's. "But yes, I believe I know the Mike that Jackie refers to. Though I must say, you and Jackie look quite different than you did when I knew you."
Jane is no longer clipped into the wall, now able to stand upright before the class. "You're quite a bit taller, for one."
The class is watching this exchange with more than a bit of confusion, but Jane gets the vibe that "confusion" is sort of the usual emotion in this lecture hall.
"So, do you need any help getting back home to OSHA, or did you want to stay and sit in on the rest of the lecture? This is a fairly introductory lesson, so you might be able to keep up."
"Um, Dad usually finds me and takes me back when I need to go home, so I'll stay. What class is this? And, uh, where should I sit?"
"This is Introductory Synchrometry. And I believe there's an open seat right over... there!" The Professor points to an empty seat... next to an uncomfortably familiar face. Ruby.
"Yes, that seat should do fine. Don't worry about answering any questions, dear, just have a seat and listen along. Once I'm done I can take you home. My counterpart can't really see or hear this campus for reasons too complex to explain."
Jackie grimaces a little in headspace. She never fully knew Ruby, but in the times she talked to her, it seems like she resented her a bit, but really to no fault of either. It was just one of the many Situations that Alexandria got into that Jackie was in by proxy. Her part of the mind moves to think about Alexandria. 'She's been missing for a while, I hope she's okay.'
Semi-ex girlfriends and their semi situationships set aside for hopefully the rest of this situation, Jane goes to sit in said seat. When she does so, she tries to take up as little space as possible. Even the slightest amount of skin contact with any neighbor would be awkward, not helping that this is Ruby.
'Damn,' Jane thinks. 'Jackie was right. I do sit kind of regally.'
"Now that our little impromptu demonstration of synchrometrics is out of the way... where was I?"
The Professor pauses for a good moment.
"Oh yes! The first and most fundamental principle of synchrometrics, or as I have taken to calling it," He smiles just a bi smugly, "Cook's First Maxim: 'Chaos is order that has yet to be discerned!'"
"Take our visitor for example. Nobody could have predicted purely from physical or probabilistic information that she would appear, and yet I knew she'd be here! All I had to do was refuse to accept the existence of randomness."
As the Professor talks, he points to words on his whiteboard. "Of course, that is only half the story. The other half is Cook's Second Maxim: 'Order is chaos put to narrative.'"
That gets a groan from one student, who gets up and leaves, complaining about something called "pataphysics" as the Professor ignores him and continues. Somebody always dips in the first lesson.
The Professor keeps on going, with him only very occasionally glancing over toward Jane and Ruby, almost like he expects something to happen. Jane glances down and sees a note on the floor at her feet. Reaching down, she reads it and is just a bit surprised to recognize Mike's handwriting. The note reads, "I don't know why, but the math tells me that this note must read 'talk to her.'"
Jane gives the professor a look, asking 'how the Hell am I meant to do that'. Luckily for her, she doesn't have to.
"So. Alexandria?" Ruby whispers to her first, tone unidentifiable.
"yeah...?" Jane whispers back. Assume theyre both talking quietly.
"Uh.. how's she doing? I didn't really... leave on good terms with her."
"Neither did I. Um, she's been missing for... a while now."

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"...and 3, 2, 1."
Immediately after Professor Cook utters '1', Jane appears halfway inside the wall of the room.
"beuh. Where am I. I sense there's a when am I, also."
She glances to her side.
"Hi Dad. Feeling older today?"
The class chuckles at that, while Professor Cook raises an eyebrow in mild confusion.
"Ahem, no, I think you have me confused with somebody else. No, I'm Professor Michael Cook, and I teach parapsychology and sundry other fringe disciplines here at the University of Chicago."
The Professor turns to his class, "As you can see, due to the nature of synchrometric phenomena, it is hard to predict the nature of a phenomenon if you already know the location of it. This is an example of..."
The Professor trails off, and a student raises their hand before answering, "Modified Heisenberg Uncertainty?"
"Yes! Excellent. As you all know, synchrometry is one of the only areas where classical and quantum can connect, and as a result, it's the only situation where classically-sized objects are directly subject to quantum phenomena. Now, my young, somewhat feline visitor, how about you introduce yourself to the class! We're always happy to meet strange new people!"
Well... this guy sounds like Mike. An older, nerdier Mike. Maybe it's Mike's grandpa?
'No, no. This must clearly be the Mike that dreamed Dad Mike into existence, having woken up from his dream at some point.... let's say 1989! Might not be the right date, but oh well.,' Jackie chimes in from the back of the mind, watching some weird not-show called 'Toon Force'.
As Jackie says all that, Jane pushes herself out of the wall, this time not damaging it. It's a strange sight.
"I'm, um. Jane Doe. She/her. I don't know how much you all know about where I come from, so I won't elaborate on the mik- professor cook dad thing. um. I'm an alien? well I'm like 76% alien. Also undead and magical. And 100% put on the spot."
"Ah. And I see you're plural as well. I've had a tulpa or two in my day!" the Professor remarks, grabbing onto her arm to help tug her out of the wall, despite his strength being frankly negligible compared to Jane's. "But yes, I believe I know the Mike that Jackie refers to. Though I must say, you and Jackie look quite different than you did when I knew you."
Jane is no longer clipped into the wall, now able to stand upright before the class. "You're quite a bit taller, for one."
The class is watching this exchange with more than a bit of confusion, but Jane gets the vibe that "confusion" is sort of the usual emotion in this lecture hall.
"So, do you need any help getting back home to OSHA, or did you want to stay and sit in on the rest of the lecture? This is a fairly introductory lesson, so you might be able to keep up."
"Um, Dad usually finds me and takes me back when I need to go home, so I'll stay. What class is this? And, uh, where should I sit?"
"This is Introductory Synchrometry. And I believe there's an open seat right over... there!" The Professor points to an empty seat... next to an uncomfortably familiar face. Ruby.
"Yes, that seat should do fine. Don't worry about answering any questions, dear, just have a seat and listen along. Once I'm done I can take you home. My counterpart can't really see or hear this campus for reasons too complex to explain."
Jackie grimaces a little in headspace. She never fully knew Ruby, but in the times she talked to her, it seems like she resented her a bit, but really to no fault of either. It was just one of the many Situations that Alexandria got into that Jackie was in by proxy. Her part of the mind moves to think about Alexandria. 'She's been missing for a while, I hope she's okay.'
Semi-ex girlfriends and their semi situationships set aside for hopefully the rest of this situation, Jane goes to sit in said seat. When she does so, she tries to take up as little space as possible. Even the slightest amount of skin contact with any neighbor would be awkward, not helping that this is Ruby.
'Damn,' Jane thinks. 'Jackie was right. I do sit kind of regally.'
"...and 3, 2, 1."
Immediately after Professor Cook utters '1', Jane appears halfway inside the wall of the room.
"beuh. Where am I. I sense there's a when am I, also."
She glances to her side.
"Hi Dad. Feeling older today?"
The class chuckles at that, while Professor Cook raises an eyebrow in mild confusion.
"Ahem, no, I think you have me confused with somebody else. No, I'm Professor Michael Cook, and I teach parapsychology and sundry other fringe disciplines here at the University of Chicago."
The Professor turns to his class, "As you can see, due to the nature of synchrometric phenomena, it is hard to predict the nature of a phenomenon if you already know the location of it. This is an example of..."
The Professor trails off, and a student raises their hand before answering, "Modified Heisenberg Uncertainty?"
"Yes! Excellent. As you all know, synchrometry is one of the only areas where classical and quantum can connect, and as a result, it's the only situation where classically-sized objects are directly subject to quantum phenomena. Now, my young, somewhat feline visitor, how about you introduce yourself to the class! We're always happy to meet strange new people!"
Well... this guy sounds like Mike. An older, nerdier Mike. Maybe it's Mike's grandpa?
'No, no. This must clearly be the Mike that dreamed Dad Mike into existence, having woken up from his dream at some point.... let's say 1989! Might not be the right date, but oh well.,' Jackie chimes in from the back of the mind, watching some weird not-show called 'Toon Force'.
As Jackie says all that, Jane pushes herself out of the wall, this time not damaging it. It's a strange sight.
"I'm, um. Jane Doe. She/her. I don't know how much you all know about where I come from, so I won't elaborate on the mik- professor cook dad thing. um. I'm an alien? well I'm like 76% alien. Also undead and magical. And 100% put on the spot."
"Ah. And I see you're plural as well. I've had a tulpa or two in my day!" the Professor remarks, grabbing onto her arm to help tug her out of the wall, despite his strength being frankly negligible compared to Jane's. "But yes, I believe I know the Mike that Jackie refers to. Though I must say, you and Jackie look quite different than you did when I knew you."
Jane is no longer clipped into the wall, now able to stand upright before the class. "You're quite a bit taller, for one."
The class is watching this exchange with more than a bit of confusion, but Jane gets the vibe that "confusion" is sort of the usual emotion in this lecture hall.
"So, do you need any help getting back home to OSHA, or did you want to stay and sit in on the rest of the lecture? This is a fairly introductory lesson, so you might be able to keep up."
"Um, Dad usually finds me and takes me back when I need to go home, so I'll stay. What class is this? And, uh, where should I sit?"
"...and 3, 2, 1."
Immediately after Professor Cook utters '1', Jane appears halfway inside the wall of the room.
"beuh. Where am I. I sense there's a when am I, also."
She glances to her side.
"Hi Dad. Feeling older today?"
The class chuckles at that, while Professor Cook raises an eyebrow in mild confusion.
"Ahem, no, I think you have me confused with somebody else. No, I'm Professor Michael Cook, and I teach parapsychology and sundry other fringe disciplines here at the University of Chicago."
The Professor turns to his class, "As you can see, due to the nature of synchrometric phenomena, it is hard to predict the nature of a phenomenon if you already know the location of it. This is an example of..."
The Professor trails off, and a student raises their hand before answering, "Modified Heisenberg Uncertainty?"
"Yes! Excellent. As you all know, synchrometry is one of the only areas where classical and quantum can connect, and as a result, it's the only situation where classically-sized objects are directly subject to quantum phenomena. Now, my young, somewhat feline visitor, how about you introduce yourself to the class! We're always happy to meet strange new people!"
Well... this guy sounds like Mike. An older, nerdier Mike. Maybe it's Mike's grandpa?
'No, no. This must clearly be the Mike that dreamed Dad Mike into existence, having woken up from his dream at some point.... let's say 1989! Might not be the right date, but oh well.,' Jackie chimes in from the back of the mind, watching some weird not-show called 'Toon Force'.
As Jackie says all that, Jane pushes herself out of the wall, this time not damaging it. It's a strange sight.
"I'm, um. Jane Doe. She/her. I don't know how much you all know about where I come from, so I won't elaborate on the mik- professor cook dad thing. um. I'm an alien? well I'm like 76% alien. Also undead and magical. And 100% put on the spot."
Jane, finding herself troubled by her mind and the future, has opted to walk around the castle today. She would admit that she was a bit surprised when she happened upon her many-times-great grandfather, the legendary King Arthur, in the battlements, keeping watch (of the goats).
He looks at Jane and nods, briefly, holding the ghost of a mug of tea that Jane specifically recalls having spilled and shattered during one of the many moments Mer made a sudden move in the Laboratory. It looks a bit incongruous with his chainmail and fine surcoat.
"Hello, child. Have you come to keep watch also?" Arthur asks, his voice an echoing thing almost indistinguishable from the wind and lightly drizzling rain.
"It- um- yeah, sure. The goats, or those people over there having an important plot fight that's little close for comfort to the castle?"
"Something like that," he chuckles. "Though I do often find myself here just for the peace and quiet. Is that what brings you here? Is there something a wise old man might help you with?"
"Ah, just, uh... thinkin'. Brain's gettin' me down." She looks... tired. Not something she usually can be.
She leans on a merlon, resting her elbows on it and holding her hands together.
"Which one do you think is the protagonist?", she asks as she points towards the fight.
"Oh, Beryllium of course," he says. "Calcium and Sam have been nipping her all day." He leans on the next merlon over. "But, what thoughts are troubling you? If you don't mind speaking of them."
"Events and such. Alexandria's been missing for a while. A witch gave me a vision of me apparently fighting in a space war. A vengeful wizard supposedly showed me the future, which was me failing at filling my mam's shoes as princess. Normal woman stuff, y'know?" She watches the people fighting. One of the hero-looking types whiffs a decisive blow. She turns her gaze to the goats. Beryllium looks miffed.
"I wonder what it'd be like if I lived a mundane life."
"I sometimes wonder if such a life truly exists." Arthur looks out at the people for a moment as well. "Now, I do recommend you not let that vision rule you. Vengeful wizards show biased visions, I find. Besides, there is no rule that says you must step up to fill those old shoes." He hums for a moment. "Who knows, I might find my way back to my old chair one of these days after all."
"Maybe. But wouldn't Wales, I think, have to be in its darkest hour?"
"Sure, but if I time it for the longest night of the year or a particularly big power outage that might work," he shrugs. "Prophecies are like that." He sighs, and his voice blends with the wind even more. "Not that I'm sure I could successfully lead us into better days. I was a warrior-king, and I fought those who are now called the English, I believe. Modern politics are different. They require different skills."
"Hm. Guess old guys don't know everything. I'll have to tell Dad," She jokes around, a small smile on her face.
She dwells on the other vision she was shown. A space war? She should probably tune up the Guardian.
"You ever been to space, or have you only gazed at it from here?" She looks up to the settling night sky.
"I've never been, no," he says. "The very idea of it being a place you can go still boggles my mind. But if it is a war you must fight, I have much experience with those."
"Are you familiar with the Guardian? The, uh, giant robot ive been piloting around from time to time."
"I have seen it once or twice, yes," he says. "Why?"
"The vision the witch showed me, it uh, showed.. me, bloody and desperate, piloting it, and, um... trying to kill someone dead. Not really... something I do."
"Ah yes... times have changed, haven't they?" Arthur is quiet for a few moments. "I will not lie to you. If you find yourself in a war, the day will come when you must kill. Whether in defense of yourself or of others, or simply because someone must be stopped and you have no other way. It is not pretty, but it is true."
"We all grapple with this reality in different ways. I spared as many lives as I could, and the rest I made sure to bury as well as we could. Still I remember them always, the terrible looks in their eyes as life fled. If you do not wish to be haunted... then you must ensure that circumstances never require you to cross that line. Do not fight the space war - find some other way to achieve whatever made it seem necessary."
She turns herself around, leaning against the merlon (again) and crossing her arms, staring up at the stars. She seems to have some weight lifted.
"Thanks, pops."
"Anytime, fy ngeneth i." He reaches out as if to pat her on the head, but his arm moves through her. It's cold.
"You're a strong girl, you know. And not just in terms of power. Whatever you must face, you'll make it through."
She nods gratefully.
After a while of just sitting in silence, the climactic background battle ends, the good guys probably victorious, and beryllium having gotten back at the other goats.
"Jackie really wants to go walking around London with a shiet that says 'Celtic Independence Now'."
Jane, finding herself troubled by her mind and the future, has opted to walk around the castle today. She would admit that she was a bit surprised when she happened upon her many-times-great grandfather, the legendary King Arthur, in the battlements, keeping watch (of the goats).
He looks at Jane and nods, briefly, holding the ghost of a mug of tea that Jane specifically recalls having spilled and shattered during one of the many moments Mer made a sudden move in the Laboratory. It looks a bit incongruous with his chainmail and fine surcoat.
"Hello, child. Have you come to keep watch also?" Arthur asks, his voice an echoing thing almost indistinguishable from the wind and lightly drizzling rain.
"It- um- yeah, sure. The goats, or those people over there having an important plot fight that's little close for comfort to the castle?"
"Something like that," he chuckles. "Though I do often find myself here just for the peace and quiet. Is that what brings you here? Is there something a wise old man might help you with?"
"Ah, just, uh... thinkin'. Brain's gettin' me down." She looks... tired. Not something she usually can be.
She leans on a merlon, resting her elbows on it and holding her hands together.
"Which one do you think is the protagonist?", she asks as she points towards the fight.
"Oh, Beryllium of course," he says. "Calcium and Sam have been nipping her all day." He leans on the next merlon over. "But, what thoughts are troubling you? If you don't mind speaking of them."
"Events and such. Alexandria's been missing for a while. A witch gave me a vision of me apparently fighting in a space war. A vengeful wizard supposedly showed me the future, which was me failing at filling my mam's shoes as princess. Normal woman stuff, y'know?" She watches the people fighting. One of the hero-looking types whiffs a decisive blow. She turns her gaze to the goats. Beryllium looks miffed.
"I wonder what it'd be like if I lived a mundane life."
"I sometimes wonder if such a life truly exists." Arthur looks out at the people for a moment as well. "Now, I do recommend you not let that vision rule you. Vengeful wizards show biased visions, I find. Besides, there is no rule that says you must step up to fill those old shoes." He hums for a moment. "Who knows, I might find my way back to my old chair one of these days after all."
"Maybe. But wouldn't Wales, I think, have to be in its darkest hour?"
"Sure, but if I time it for the longest night of the year or a particularly big power outage that might work," he shrugs. "Prophecies are like that." He sighs, and his voice blends with the wind even more. "Not that I'm sure I could successfully lead us into better days. I was a warrior-king, and I fought those who are now called the English, I believe. Modern politics are different. They require different skills."
"Hm. Guess old guys don't know everything. I'll have to tell Dad," She jokes around, a small smile on her face.
She dwells on the other vision she was shown. A space war? She should probably tune up the Guardian.
"You ever been to space, or have you only gazed at it from here?" She looks up to the settling night sky.
"I've never been, no," he says. "The very idea of it being a place you can go still boggles my mind. But if it is a war you must fight, I have much experience with those."
"Are you familiar with the Guardian? The, uh, giant robot ive been piloting around from time to time."
"I have seen it once or twice, yes," he says. "Why?"
"The vision the witch showed me, it uh, showed.. me, bloody and desperate, piloting it, and, um... trying to kill someone dead. Not really... something I do."
"Ah yes... times have changed, haven't they?" Arthur is quiet for a few moments. "I will not lie to you. If you find yourself in a war, the day will come when you must kill. Whether in defense of yourself or of others, or simply because someone must be stopped and you have no other way. It is not pretty, but it is true."
"We all grapple with this reality in different ways. I spared as many lives as I could, and the rest I made sure to bury as well as we could. Still I remember them always, the terrible looks in their eyes as life fled. If you do not wish to be haunted... then you must ensure that circumstances never require you to cross that line. Do not fight the space war - find some other way to achieve whatever made it seem necessary."
She turns herself around, leaning against the merlon (again) and crossing her arms, staring up at the stars. She seems to have some weight lifted.
"Thanks, pops."

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Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Jane, finding herself troubled by her mind and the future, has opted to walk around the castle today. She would admit that she was a bit surprised when she happened upon her many-times-great grandfather, the legendary King Arthur, in the battlements, keeping watch (of the goats).
He looks at Jane and nods, briefly, holding the ghost of a mug of tea that Jane specifically recalls having spilled and shattered during one of the many moments Mer made a sudden move in the Laboratory. It looks a bit incongruous with his chainmail and fine surcoat.
"Hello, child. Have you come to keep watch also?" Arthur asks, his voice an echoing thing almost indistinguishable from the wind and lightly drizzling rain.
"It- um- yeah, sure. The goats, or those people over there having an important plot fight that's little close for comfort to the castle?"
"Something like that," he chuckles. "Though I do often find myself here just for the peace and quiet. Is that what brings you here? Is there something a wise old man might help you with?"
"Ah, just, uh... thinkin'. Brain's gettin' me down." She looks... tired. Not something she usually can be.
She leans on a merlon, resting her elbows on it and holding her hands together.
"Which one do you think is the protagonist?", she asks as she points towards the fight.
"Oh, Beryllium of course," he says. "Calcium and Sam have been nipping her all day." He leans on the next merlon over. "But, what thoughts are troubling you? If you don't mind speaking of them."
"Events and such. Alexandria's been missing for a while. A witch gave me a vision of me apparently fighting in a space war. A vengeful wizard supposedly showed me the future, which was me failing at filling my mam's shoes as princess. Normal woman stuff, y'know?" She watches the people fighting. One of the hero-looking types whiffs a decisive blow. She turns her gaze to the goats. Beryllium looks miffed.
"I wonder what it'd be like if I lived a mundane life."
"I sometimes wonder if such a life truly exists." Arthur looks out at the people for a moment as well. "Now, I do recommend you not let that vision rule you. Vengeful wizards show biased visions, I find. Besides, there is no rule that says you must step up to fill those old shoes." He hums for a moment. "Who knows, I might find my way back to my old chair one of these days after all."
"Maybe. But wouldn't Wales, I think, have to be in its darkest hour?"
"Sure, but if I time it for the longest night of the year or a particularly big power outage that might work," he shrugs. "Prophecies are like that." He sighs, and his voice blends with the wind even more. "Not that I'm sure I could successfully lead us into better days. I was a warrior-king, and I fought those who are now called the English, I believe. Modern politics are different. They require different skills."
"Hm. Guess old guys don't know everything. I'll have to tell Dad," She jokes around, a small smile on her face.
She dwells on the other vision she was shown. A space war? She should probably tune up the Guardian.
"You ever been to space, or have you only gazed at it from here?" She looks up to the settling night sky.
"I've never been, no," he says. "The very idea of it being a place you can go still boggles my mind. But if it is a war you must fight, I have much experience with those."
"Are you familiar with the Guardian? The, uh, giant robot ive been piloting around from time to time."
"I have seen it once or twice, yes," he says. "Why?"
"The vision the witch showed me, it uh, showed.. me, bloody and desperate, piloting it, and, um... trying to kill someone dead. Not really... something I do."
[Jane, for lack of a better term, has accidentally clipped into the wall of Chill Mike's little slice of "hell"]
Without missing a beat, a lawn chair sprouts up out of the sand beneath her, allowing her to land quite comfortably in it.
"Hey there newbie," Mike remarks casually, holding out a coconut with a straw poking out of it for Jane to take. This Mike doesn't seem like the Mike Jane knows at all. He's dressed like a beach bum, with his big straw hat, his Hawaiian shirt, his swim trunks, and his sunglasses, all a thin wallpaper of "chill" over a man who looks completely dead inside.
"You're gonna need this around here." He remarks as he shakes the coconut. It smells of tropical fruit and very strong alcohol.
"Oh, no thanks. I don't drink," she replies, holding up her hand for a second. She thinks to herself that she's also not sure if she's 20 or 21, but arrives at the thought that it doesn't really matter.
"What is 'around here', though? Doesn't look like anywhere I've ever suddenly appeared before." She looks around at the scenery.
"Oh, you're gonna wanna start, bud," Mike laughs, putting the coconut in her hand. "You're in the closest place to Hell on this bitch of an Earth: OSHA."
"The cafeteria, specifically." He gestures to the seemingly idyllic beach around them. "The only chill spot in the damn place."
She furrows her brow looking at Chill Mike, then raises one.
"Would your name happen to be Mike, or some variation of it?"
"Yeah, that's me. Why, did we meet before? You from the 80s?"
Mike lowers his shades, revealing bloodshot eyes as he surveys Jane.
"You look familiar, but I can't quite place it."
"Ohh, okay. Makes sense now." She pauses for a moment, figuring out how to word things.
"I'm your- well, a version of you's daughter in another timeline."
She sticks out a hand.
"I'm Jane Doe, nice to meet you. What makes this version of OSHA so bad?"
"Everything, to be honest. Whole place is literally hell, I think. You know, the fiery furnace, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth? Where the worm doesn't die, and the fire isn't quenched? And the smoke of torment goes up forever, with no rest day or night?"
Mike places the coconut in her hand.
"If you're here, then God's not pleased with you. But the beach? The beach is your friend. It's the only place in this literally godforsaken place that doesn't make me wanna kill myself."
Hearing (an alternate of) her father talk about suicide takes Jane off guard- she stands in shock for a second.
"Uh.. well, damn."
"Is there... an alternate version of me around, or something?"
Speak of the devil and she will come, Mauve walks into the beach, but freezes and crouches at the sight of a stranger. She's unnoticed by Jane, and would like to keep it that way until she's assessed her.
Nowadays, she's come over to annoy Mike less and less, more just wanting to have a place to get away to. She still wrestles with doubting if her mother really is doing the right thing.
"Yeah, I think so. She's right over there prowling like usual," Mike casually remarks with negative concern for Mauve's desire to stay out of sight, his arm limply gesturing in her direction.
"Say hi Mauve, I think this one's your alternate self or something."
As she stands up, she gives him a scowl that says 'I want to smash your tiki mug.'
"Is she dangerous?" Mauve replies, prioritizing not dying again over petty revenge on Mike.
"... I'd like to think I'm not?" Jane says, turning to Mauve, assessing her back, noticing that she's a bit smaller. "Maybe a bit stronger than you."
"Oh, uh, don't try to start a fight, either of you."
"Beach'll kick you out if you screw the vibe too hard. It's one of the big laws of the beach. The biggest, in fact. Don't harsh the vibe."
Mike tries to say that in a chill, cool way, but there's an edge to it that he just can't hide. Not quite a threat... more like a warning. A dire, dire warning.
Jane shrugs.
"I won't if she won't. I don't like violence."
Mauve keeps her distance, walking a little away and sitting down, keeping one of her eyes on Jane.
"So.... any way for me to hop back to my timeline? You willing to take me back, sir, or should I wait for my dad?" Jane says, turning back to Chill Mike, putting her hands in her pockets.
"I don't really think I'm capable of that, honestly. My powers don't work outside this cafeteria. You might be here a while. I don't think Jesus is gonna be doing another harrowing."
Right as Mike says that, Jane's Mike appears, looking more than a bit concerned.
"Jane! Oh, thank God, I was afraid you'd fallen right out of time!"
He looks over the other Mike, a look of faint pity on his face. "I hope my more depressed counterpart didn't upset you too badly." He grunts derisively as he takes a sip from his drink.
"No, not at all. He just offered me a drink and told me about this place. Then Mauve over there walked in, and here we are now."
'"more"?', she thinks semi-concernedly.
"Alright, well, no harm no foul, I suppose."
Before Mauve can even ask what the fuck is going on or why there's two Mikes, Jane's Mike blinks them away, back to their version of the cafeteria.
"Yeah, uh, he's been having a rough time. His version of OSHA is way, way worse. I think it kinda broke him."
"Can I have specifics on how it's worse? Mauve looked like a bubbling pot of doubt."
Jane, finding herself troubled by her mind and the future, has opted to walk around the castle today. She would admit that she was a bit surprised when she happened upon her many-times-great grandfather, the legendary King Arthur, in the battlements, keeping watch (of the goats).
He looks at Jane and nods, briefly, holding the ghost of a mug of tea that Jane specifically recalls having spilled and shattered during one of the many moments Mer made a sudden move in the Laboratory. It looks a bit incongruous with his chainmail and fine surcoat.
"Hello, child. Have you come to keep watch also?" Arthur asks, his voice an echoing thing almost indistinguishable from the wind and lightly drizzling rain.
"It- um- yeah, sure. The goats, or those people over there having an important plot fight that's little close for comfort to the castle?"
"Something like that," he chuckles. "Though I do often find myself here just for the peace and quiet. Is that what brings you here? Is there something a wise old man might help you with?"
"Ah, just, uh... thinkin'. Brain's gettin' me down." She looks... tired. Not something she usually can be.
She leans on a merlon, resting her elbows on it and holding her hands together.
"Which one do you think is the protagonist?", she asks as she points towards the fight.
"Oh, Beryllium of course," he says. "Calcium and Sam have been nipping her all day." He leans on the next merlon over. "But, what thoughts are troubling you? If you don't mind speaking of them."
"Events and such. Alexandria's been missing for a while. A witch gave me a vision of me apparently fighting in a space war. A vengeful wizard supposedly showed me the future, which was me failing at filling my mam's shoes as princess. Normal woman stuff, y'know?" She watches the people fighting. One of the hero-looking types whiffs a decisive blow. She turns her gaze to the goats. Beryllium looks miffed.
"I wonder what it'd be like if I lived a mundane life."
"I sometimes wonder if such a life truly exists." Arthur looks out at the people for a moment as well. "Now, I do recommend you not let that vision rule you. Vengeful wizards show biased visions, I find. Besides, there is no rule that says you must step up to fill those old shoes." He hums for a moment. "Who knows, I might find my way back to my old chair one of these days after all."
"Maybe. But wouldn't Wales, I think, have to be in its darkest hour?"
"Sure, but if I time it for the longest night of the year or a particularly big power outage that might work," he shrugs. "Prophecies are like that." He sighs, and his voice blends with the wind even more. "Not that I'm sure I could successfully lead us into better days. I was a warrior-king, and I fought those who are now called the English, I believe. Modern politics are different. They require different skills."
"Hm. Guess old guys don't know everything. I'll have to tell Dad," She jokes around, a small smile on her face.
She dwells on the other vision she was shown. A space war? She should probably tune up the Guardian.
"You ever been to space, or have you only gazed at it from here?" She looks up to the settling night sky.
"I've never been, no," he says. "The very idea of it being a place you can go still boggles my mind. But if it is a war you must fight, I have much experience with those."
"Are you familiar with the Guardian? The, uh, giant robot ive been piloting around from time to time."
Jane, finding herself troubled by her mind and the future, has opted to walk around the castle today. She would admit that she was a bit surprised when she happened upon her many-times-great grandfather, the legendary King Arthur, in the battlements, keeping watch (of the goats).
He looks at Jane and nods, briefly, holding the ghost of a mug of tea that Jane specifically recalls having spilled and shattered during one of the many moments Mer made a sudden move in the Laboratory. It looks a bit incongruous with his chainmail and fine surcoat.
"Hello, child. Have you come to keep watch also?" Arthur asks, his voice an echoing thing almost indistinguishable from the wind and lightly drizzling rain.
"It- um- yeah, sure. The goats, or those people over there having an important plot fight that's little close for comfort to the castle?"
"Something like that," he chuckles. "Though I do often find myself here just for the peace and quiet. Is that what brings you here? Is there something a wise old man might help you with?"
"Ah, just, uh... thinkin'. Brain's gettin' me down." She looks... tired. Not something she usually can be.
She leans on a merlon, resting her elbows on it and holding her hands together.
"Which one do you think is the protagonist?", she asks as she points towards the fight.
"Oh, Beryllium of course," he says. "Calcium and Sam have been nipping her all day." He leans on the next merlon over. "But, what thoughts are troubling you? If you don't mind speaking of them."
"Events and such. Alexandria's been missing for a while. A witch gave me a vision of me apparently fighting in a space war. A vengeful wizard supposedly showed me the future, which was me failing at filling my mam's shoes as princess. Normal woman stuff, y'know?" She watches the people fighting. One of the hero-looking types whiffs a decisive blow. She turns her gaze to the goats. Beryllium looks miffed.
"I wonder what it'd be like if I lived a mundane life."
"I sometimes wonder if such a life truly exists." Arthur looks out at the people for a moment as well. "Now, I do recommend you not let that vision rule you. Vengeful wizards show biased visions, I find. Besides, there is no rule that says you must step up to fill those old shoes." He hums for a moment. "Who knows, I might find my way back to my old chair one of these days after all."
"Maybe. But wouldn't Wales, I think, have to be in its darkest hour?"
"Sure, but if I time it for the longest night of the year or a particularly big power outage that might work," he shrugs. "Prophecies are like that." He sighs, and his voice blends with the wind even more. "Not that I'm sure I could successfully lead us into better days. I was a warrior-king, and I fought those who are now called the English, I believe. Modern politics are different. They require different skills."
"Hm. Guess old guys don't know everything. I'll have to tell Dad," She jokes around, a small smile on her face.
She dwells on the other vision she was shown. A space war? She should probably tune up the Guardian.
"You ever been to space, or have you only gazed at it from here?" She looks up to the settling night sky.
morchael
"Hm? Did somebody say something?"
As he looks around for the source of the voice, he seems... Disappointingly familiar. In fact, there is no discernible difference between this "Morchael" and the main Mike. How curious.
"no? no one said anything," Jaiyne replies. "Still just us and this monsterling in this cave."
"No no it was a 4th wall thing. Djakky probably heard it, ask her."
Mork keeps looking around, trying to discern where the voice is coming from.
"Hnnngh... there's another one. It's narrating me."
Jaiyne shakes her head, switching to Djakky.
"woah this is new. we haven't been narrated before, have we?"
"Yeah, no we haven't. It feels a little weird, right? I kinda liked the privacy." Morchael replied ungratefully.
"Hey! I heard that!"
"How long until we get this little guy out of here?" Djakky replies perfectly, having never done anything wrong.
"Huh. Guess that settles that disagreement."

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Jane, finding herself troubled by her mind and the future, has opted to walk around the castle today. She would admit that she was a bit surprised when she happened upon her many-times-great grandfather, the legendary King Arthur, in the battlements, keeping watch (of the goats).
He looks at Jane and nods, briefly, holding the ghost of a mug of tea that Jane specifically recalls having spilled and shattered during one of the many moments Mer made a sudden move in the Laboratory. It looks a bit incongruous with his chainmail and fine surcoat.
"Hello, child. Have you come to keep watch also?" Arthur asks, his voice an echoing thing almost indistinguishable from the wind and lightly drizzling rain.
"It- um- yeah, sure. The goats, or those people over there having an important plot fight that's little close for comfort to the castle?"
"Something like that," he chuckles. "Though I do often find myself here just for the peace and quiet. Is that what brings you here? Is there something a wise old man might help you with?"
"Ah, just, uh... thinkin'. Brain's gettin' me down." She looks... tired. Not something she usually can be.
She leans on a merlon, resting her elbows on it and holding her hands together.
"Which one do you think is the protagonist?", she asks as she points towards the fight.
"Oh, Beryllium of course," he says. "Calcium and Sam have been nipping her all day." He leans on the next merlon over. "But, what thoughts are troubling you? If you don't mind speaking of them."
"Events and such. Alexandria's been missing for a while. A witch gave me a vision of me apparently fighting in a space war. A vengeful wizard supposedly showed me the future, which was me failing at filling my mam's shoes as princess. Normal woman stuff, y'know?" She watches the people fighting. One of the hero-looking types whiffs a decisive blow. She turns her gaze to the goats. Beryllium looks miffed.
"I wonder what it'd be like if I lived a mundane life."
"I sometimes wonder if such a life truly exists." Arthur looks out at the people for a moment as well. "Now, I do recommend you not let that vision rule you. Vengeful wizards show biased visions, I find. Besides, there is no rule that says you must step up to fill those old shoes." He hums for a moment. "Who knows, I might find my way back to my old chair one of these days after all."
"Maybe. But wouldn't Wales, I think, have to be in its darkest hour?"
Jane, finding herself troubled by her mind and the future, has opted to walk around the castle today. She would admit that she was a bit surprised when she happened upon her many-times-great grandfather, the legendary King Arthur, in the battlements, keeping watch (of the goats).
He looks at Jane and nods, briefly, holding the ghost of a mug of tea that Jane specifically recalls having spilled and shattered during one of the many moments Mer made a sudden move in the Laboratory. It looks a bit incongruous with his chainmail and fine surcoat.
"Hello, child. Have you come to keep watch also?" Arthur asks, his voice an echoing thing almost indistinguishable from the wind and lightly drizzling rain.
"It- um- yeah, sure. The goats, or those people over there having an important plot fight that's little close for comfort to the castle?"
"Something like that," he chuckles. "Though I do often find myself here just for the peace and quiet. Is that what brings you here? Is there something a wise old man might help you with?"
"Ah, just, uh... thinkin'. Brain's gettin' me down." She looks... tired. Not something she usually can be.
She leans on a merlon, resting her elbows on it and holding her hands together.
"Which one do you think is the protagonist?", she asks as she points towards the fight.
"Oh, Beryllium of course," he says. "Calcium and Sam have been nipping her all day." He leans on the next merlon over. "But, what thoughts are troubling you? If you don't mind speaking of them."
"Events and such. Alexandria's been missing for a while. A witch gave me a vision of me apparently fighting in a space war. A vengeful wizard supposedly showed me the future, which was me failing at filling my mam's shoes as princess. Normal woman stuff, y'know?" She watches the people fighting. One of the hero-looking types whiffs a decisive blow. She turns her gaze to the goats. Beryllium looks miffed.
"I wonder what it'd be like if I lived a mundane life."