"The sex is when you can be honest."
Jacob Tierney on It's Open With Ilana Glazer

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@detachedfacade
"The sex is when you can be honest."
Jacob Tierney on It's Open With Ilana Glazer

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he won 😭
(and he mentions sharing the award with connor)
"... if these gay yearning little bottom eyes didn't have a big sexy russian to feast upon, my performance wouldn't be as good..."
Heated Rivalry ll S01EP05
🏒 Heated Rivalry S01E02 Olympians 🥅
Much too blind to see the damage he's done | Chapter three
It was never cold in Shane’s bed, he ran hot, his muscular body always there, firm and pressing into the mattress beside her. Rose woke to the cold, a bristle beside her, the empty space where he usually was. She could’ve thought he was in the bathroom, sick from the alcohol or pissing but she knew, somehow, she knew he wasn’t there, that she was alone in his house. She had probably heard the door shut, felt him climb out of bed while she was sleeping, stored it subconsciously. Whatever it was she knew. She heard the buzz and the light of his phone filled the room. He never left his phone face up, she realised, and never left the house without it. It was worry, really that led her to sit up and look. She wasn’t proud of it, snooping, looking through her boyfriends phone, she wasn’t that kind of girl. But he was gone, in the middle of the night, and his phone was unlocked.
And there is was, that underlying fear, the thing she had been pushing down and ignoring. Lily had text him
--
What if Shane stayed with Rose?
A character study of Shane Hollander, a man with a strict moral compass who would never cheat, except for when he does.
And when, years later, Ilya Rozanov suspects his husband of cheating, how does he grapple with the guilt of being the other man, all those years ago.
cw: cheating, internalised homophobia
Read more

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Much too blind to see the damage he's done | Chapter two (explicit)
– Not tonight, it’s a bad idea.
Three dots appeared immediately, and Ilya responded before Shane could put his phone down.
– Hmm okay, is true. But I thought you liked to be bad
– I could do so many bad things to you
Fuck.
-----
What if Shane stayed with Rose?
A character study of Shane Hollander, a man with a strict moral compass who would never cheat, except for when he does.
And when, years later, Ilya Rozanov suspects his husband of cheating, how does he grapple with the guilt of being the other man, all those years ago.
cw: cheating, internalized homophobia
Read now
i just have in my mind a novel length character study of Shane Hollander in which theres canon divergence in that he stays with Rose for longer and subsequently cheats on her and keeps feeling awful and convincing himself it didn't count and thinking he needs to stop things with Ilya and break up with Rose and admit he's obviously gay and he just can't do it and it takes her telling him "I know, it's okay." for him to finally admit it to himself and wash off the shame and guilt that is still permanantly etched into his skin because Shane Hollander is not a cheater he has a strict moral compass and how did he let this happen. and then things fall into place with Ilya and he's in love and they are together for real and cut to a few years later and Shane's out a lot more and working late and now its an Ilya character study. Where for years he slept with a guy who was in a relationship, and Shane wasn't the only one there were loads of DL guys he'd been with with wives and families at home and the guilt of it suddenly hits him when he's on the other side. Waiting for Shane to come home. Knowing Shane is the kind of guy to cheat but that was different and now Ilya's spiralling. anyway. that could be good huh
I did it
Much too blind to see the damage he's done | Chapter one
Shane could stare at him all day, could brush his cheeks with his thumb and kiss down the tight tendon of his neck. Could feel the flat of his palms against his hard chest. He could spend his lifetime worshipping this man’s body. “Stay,” Ilya whispered into the crease of Shane’s elbow.
“I can’t,” he said, keeping his eyes steady on the ceiling, steeped in blue darkness. "I’m meeting Rose.”
--
What if Shane stayed with Rose?
A character study of Shane Hollander, a man with a strict moral compass who would never cheat, except for when he does.
And when, years later, Ilya Rozanov suspects his husband of cheating, how does he grapple with the guilt of being the other man, all those years ago.
cw: cheating, internalized homophobia
Read now
everyone talks about i need you to know i really tried because duh thats heartbreaking but why does no one talk about i wish he could've known me ...hello
i just have in my mind a novel length character study of Shane Hollander in which theres canon divergence in that he stays with Rose for longer and subsequently cheats on her and keeps feeling awful and convincing himself it didn't count and thinking he needs to stop things with Ilya and break up with Rose and admit he's obviously gay and he just can't do it and it takes her telling him "I know, it's okay." for him to finally admit it to himself and wash off the shame and guilt that is still permanantly etched into his skin because Shane Hollander is not a cheater he has a strict moral compass and how did he let this happen. and then things fall into place with Ilya and he's in love and they are together for real and cut to a few years later and Shane's out a lot more and working late and now its an Ilya character study. Where for years he slept with a guy who was in a relationship, and Shane wasn't the only one there were loads of DL guys he'd been with with wives and families at home and the guilt of it suddenly hits him when he's on the other side. Waiting for Shane to come home. Knowing Shane is the kind of guy to cheat but that was different and now Ilya's spiralling. anyway. that could be good huh
wait and also theres a whole Rose section of her figuring it out and her own feelings about it and feeling betrayed but also realising yes this makes sense and having to come to terms with her own heartbreak because she wants to help her friend but actually she is still super pissed at him and she tells him how much his own hurt can hurt other people

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i just have in my mind a novel length character study of Shane Hollander in which theres canon divergence in that he stays with Rose for longer and subsequently cheats on her and keeps feeling awful and convincing himself it didn't count and thinking he needs to stop things with Ilya and break up with Rose and admit he's obviously gay and he just can't do it and it takes her telling him "I know, it's okay." for him to finally admit it to himself and wash off the shame and guilt that is still permanantly etched into his skin because Shane Hollander is not a cheater he has a strict moral compass and how did he let this happen. and then things fall into place with Ilya and he's in love and they are together for real and cut to a few years later and Shane's out a lot more and working late and now its an Ilya character study. Where for years he slept with a guy who was in a relationship, and Shane wasn't the only one there were loads of DL guys he'd been with with wives and families at home and the guilt of it suddenly hits him when he's on the other side. Waiting for Shane to come home. Knowing Shane is the kind of guy to cheat but that was different and now Ilya's spiralling. anyway. that could be good huh
i liked when shane and ilya fell in love on that tv show we all watched together. that was awesome
heated rivalry + text posts part 5 / ?
It's unstable. I got it already, okay? STRANGER THINGS 5.06
It had started with a headache, then migraines, then constant chronic pain that almost blinded him. But the doctors didn't listen to Steve, didn't care about the multiple head trauma's he'd suffered, supplies were short under military occupation, and so they told him that over the counter painkillers would do the trick. But they didn't.
Robin, being Robin believed him. She knew he was in pain, could see his suffering everyday. And so she told him she'd do it, she'd steal him some of the good stuff from the hospital. It was a bottle of 100 pills and they worked like a charm, and sure every now and then when he was particularly struck by grief or fear or anger he'd take a couple more than he should, was he not in pain? Did he not deserve to numb it?
But 100 pills don't last as long as he'd thought, and he was growing restless and angsty. Picking fights with Jonathan and Dustin whenever he was with them. He knew he was being a dick but he couldn't help it.
"I can't," Robin had said, "Not now I have to steal the Benzos for Joyce. Please Steve, I know you are in pain I can see it but can't you see it won't matter. Holly is missing, everything is going to hell can you just deal with your own shit for a few minutes."
She was right, he was being selfish and stupid in the face of the world literally ending but he couldn't stop it. He stormed off, left her to her own devices he didn't care anymore, he didn't care about anyone because Eddie was dead, and no one would know that Steve was grieving because they didn't know the secrets the two men kept. They didn't know of the whispered 'I love you's' or the plans they had made in the dark to run away together before both their worlds fell apart. They didn't know, when Steve told Eddie to not be a hero he really meant 'please don't die.' But then he did. So yeah, Steve is angry and destroyed and he needs the pills to get through the day whether or not he has a migraine. But he knew he was wrong, when he told Dustin that Eddie died for nothing, because it wasn't true, he had died for them all. But Steve didn't want that, Steve wanted Eddie alive, he wanted the man he loved to be selfish and a coward if it meant he was still here.
But he can't say that, so he throws his weight around and pisses of Jonathan and Dustin and Robin because maybe if he starts a fight he won't have to think about anything any more, maybe if he pushes people too far they will leave him and then he won't have to watch the people he loves die. Not again.

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when stranger things s5 comes out and it's not a 50k word character study about Steve Harrington discovering his bisexuality
there's a p common attitude in fandom spaces (fandom in general, not a specific one) that's like "why care about canon, or the characters being ooc? we're here to play with the dolls any way we like" and as much as i obviously am a person who thinks about canon a lot in theory i'm into that. in practice though when popular fanon takes things in a wildly different direction from canon so often it's in the service of taking something that was originally canonically weird and interesting and making it blander. it's flattening a complex character into a broad archetype i've seen a million times before, it's taking two characters with a complicated canonical relationship and writing them in a way where you could find-and-replace the names with any other popular migratory slash fandom pairing and the fic would make as much if not more sense. if you're going to break away from canon at least do something interesting? don't make it less weird? i feel like i'm watching someone take a really beautiful expensive cut of wagyu steak and grind it into hamburger to cook it well done and cover it in ketchup