Welcome To My Wonderland

I have trust issues and ask repeatedly why you love me because I’m scared one day you will run out of reasons to say and no longer love me.

Im starting to push away because you wouldn’t understand what their is to say.

Last night I had a nightmare. In the nightmare I was dead as a spirit. I saw my mom, my grandma ( Sandra ) my aunt ( Sandy ) and my other aunt ( Tina ) but her as a Teenager. They were all sitting at the kitchen table where I grew up at my grandmothers home when she was with my grandpa. Their face was sickened with sadness and motionless. They were trying to get something off their mind. I could only speak with each of them one by one and they could only see me one by one because again I wasn’t alive. I asked questions and lastly I asked Tina how did I die. Her face sickened worse and she said that I hung myself. Someone at the table played what was known to me as a cosplay video ( because the girl did not look like me ) of a girl with pink hair and black eyes with blood dripping from her eyes. She hung herself and was dead and dangling moving around creepily. Their was very loud scary music playing in the background like the music they play in YouTube videos of ghost caught on tape. I kept telling myself in the dream that it truly WAS  just a dream. When I woke up I was terrified and still had the music playing in my mind. I checked if the Tv was playing it and it was on sleep mode, my phone wasn’t even on. The entire night I did what I can to distract myself from it and I did not go back to sleep. This felt extremely real and I sit at thought thinking that must be how it is when someone dies and is a spirit and can see people suffering in pain from their death. I believe this was a vision from God as scary as it was.