rowan knew very little of the mercer family, only the very same as the public. whether that was by the mercer’s design or his own choice, he wasn’t too sure. however, as he listened on to the choir finish a sorrowful ballad, he became painfully aware how desperate he was for that to change. grief is a funny thing, in that it often comes with bouts of irony ; what didn’t matter to him before hope mercer’s death definitely piqued his interest now. with the choristers drawing out their very last note, rowan’s thoughts ended just as they did. he peered around the room, drawing in a breath and waiting for a cue that it was acceptable to exit the premises. in the very front row sat the family of the deceased and something within him swirled, a sense of... familiarity ? it wasn’t until she turned her head that he got view of her profile and a name pushed itself to the forefront of his mind : ren. hope mercer’s sister. rowan didn’t have many interactions with ren, because to be frank, he didn’t have all that many with hope. he never visited her home, or the places she loved to frequent. instead, he saw her in class and in the halls, which the same could be said for ren.
rowan stood with the crowd, following them down the walkway and out of the cathedral. the air outside smelled of a nearby campfire, and he wrinkled his nose in distaste. normally, it was a welcomed scent but on a day like today it felt... wrong. he craned his neck as to search among the faces for the one that stuck out to him most of all. ro wondered how close the two sisters were, and how ren was handling the passing. in a way, he hoped she needed an ear to listen just as much as he did. when rowan spotted her nearby, he found himself in a jog, waving her down. “hey, ren ! hold up !”
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"thank you so much for being here." veronica gave the other a watery smile, holding their wrist gently, the other hand clutching a well-used tissue. this was maybe the hundredth person she'd spoken to in the past twenty minutes. it was exhausting. all of it, "it would've meant so much to her that you came."
“it would’ve meant so much to her that you came.” there was a pang in rowan’s heart at that sentiment. perhaps because he wasn’t sure how true it really would’ve been, and worse yet, he’d never know. rowan thought back to the day hope approached him at the local supermarket, her eyes glimmering under the fluorescent light as if she was on the brim of tears. he thought of how much guilt she had to have been harboring, for her to plea for his forgiveness ; yet still a part of him wondered what made her come forward, and why. was guilt really the culprit, or something else entirely ?
“i’m sorry for your loss.” rowan mustered up, gently pulling his wrist from veronica mercer’s grasp. he knew a simple sorry wouldn’t be enough, but also acutely aware that there was nothing anyone could do to take the grief away ; his own father’s passing having taught him that. he stepped off to the side momentarily, reaching for a tissue on the front podium. he held it out for ms. mercer to take. “if you don’t mind my asking, what did hope tell you about me ?” rowan had to know, for his own peace of mind, though he worried how it’d come across. “i ask, because... hope and i— we weren’t exactly close, but i saw her a little before...” he peered up at the swollen crowd, noting the devastated expressions on their faces. he cleared his throat, and offered a sympathetic frown. “well, you know...”
theo finally found somewhere quiet. it felt like there was a swarm everywhere he looked. people who latched onto hope for her fame. people who never liked her in life but were attending. he just wanted a minute to breathe and maybe actually process something. the bench was outside, under a speckled patch of shade.
he looked up at the shadow moving over the dappled sunlight he'd been fixating on, "looking for some quiet too?"
rowan always carried a book with him. to the store ? book in hand. to work ? stashed within the rusted locker in the staff break room. to hope mercer’s untimely memorial ? yes, even then rowan ensured he’d have a book. it wasn’t until rowan was nineteen that he’d found a love for literature, if you could call it that. more than anything, books acted a safe haven to avoid engaging in any real conversation. in some ways, he lived more in books than he did his own life.
“pardon ??” rowan swirled around, stunned by the man’s sudden appearance. he hadn’t heard anyone near. theo reyes was tall, sightly and looked like he could play quarterback on the high school football team, which wasn’t to say he did but that didn’t so much matter. what did was the simple truth that theo was the perfect candidate to date hope mercer, picture perfect... not at all like rowan. “i guess so. more so looking for a place to read, until the service starts.” he peered at the entrance, a swarm of people flooding through it's doors. his stomach plummeted. "you're welcome to sit, if you'd like." he offered, shifting himself down the bench as to make room for theo. it was the polite thing to do, but he worried it would only speak as an invitation to continue with the conversation.
𝙽𝙰𝙼𝙴 : rowan picard
𝙽𝙸𝙲𝙺𝙽𝙰𝙼𝙴 : ro , ro-boat ( baby sister )
𝙰𝙶𝙴 : twenty-four
𝚂𝙴𝚇𝚄𝙰𝙻𝙸𝚃𝚈 : asexual
𝙶𝙴𝙽𝙳𝙴𝚁 & 𝙿𝚁𝙾𝙽𝙾𝚄𝙽𝚂 : he/him & they/them
𝙾𝙲𝙲𝚄𝙿𝙰𝚃𝙸𝙾𝙽 : receptionist at the world’s dingiest motel, super 8
𝚁𝙴𝚂𝙸𝙳𝙴𝙽𝙲𝙴 : on the edge of town, just before a crossroads. one road leads further into mercer hollow ; while the other seemingly diverges away from civilization.
𝙰𝚂𝚃𝚁𝙾𝙻𝙾𝙶𝙸𝙲𝙰𝙻 𝚂𝙸𝙶𝙽𝚂 : pisces sun, virgo moon, aquarius rising
𝙿𝙰𝚂𝚃
when rowan was born, he was graced with the world’s strongest set of lungs. as his mother would go on to tell him, he was a baby determined to ensure everyone around him knew of his presence by frequently wailing and screaming. he would eventually grow out of this but forever coined the nickname “little wolf”, gifted by his father, after the old wise tale of the boy who cried wolf. if you asked just about anyone, they’d tell you just how beloved rowan was, which only makes what happened next all that more heartbreaking.
eight years later, rowan’s father awoke to a day just like any other. he placed his boots on his sock covered feet, pulled his lunch from the fridge ( admiring the handwritten note by both his wife, and his son who assisted in the preparation ), and grabbed his keys from the ceramic bowl next to the front door. he left for work, but he would never return home. you see, richard picard worked in the mining field and though the risks always stared him straight in the face, he’d reassure his wife that he’d always make it home.little did he know, it would be a promise he wouldn’t be able to keep.
with a single mother working two jobs to meet their needs, it was true that rowan didn’t see his mother all that often. though young, he was riddled with the death of his father at every turn and in some ways, this made rowan grow up faster than other children his age. in addition, ro found the educational system to be far too straining on his otherwise overloaded mind. often did he find himself getting stuck in what he referred to as “a loop of thoughts”, distressing in nature and causing him to have extreme panic attacks. one of which got the school’s counselor involved and resulted in rowan being diagnosed and treated for ADHD and anxiety. nevertheless, he would eventually drop out at the ripe age of fifteen.
around this time, molly had begun to see a new man, whom she’d go on to introduce to her son. rowan would be the first to tell you how much he resented the thought of john replacing the position of his father, but came to understand ( through the support of his mother and john alike ) that no one could ever replace him. thus, rowan leaned into the new living dynamic and eventually was thrilled to welcome his baby half-sister, aria, into the world just two years later.
𝙿𝚁𝙴𝚂𝙴𝙽𝚃
when rowan became an adult, his mother assisted him in renting out a trailer near the edge of town. though disheveled and falling apart at the seams, rowan spent a good amount of time fixing the place up and restoring it to its former glory. it’s his biggest pride and joy, and the perfect little home for him and his german short haired pointer, dottie.
hope was on the horizon for rowan. only, not the type of hope that’s a shining light leading you out of a dark cave. no, not that hope, but instead hope mercer : mercer hollow’s most shining star, and news of her disappearance swirled around the town like an inescapable plague. worst of all, rumors came about that led to rowan being questioned by the police. what rumors, you may ask ? well, they weren’t entirely rumors, per se. anyone who attended high school alongside rowan and hope would tell you that rowan wasn’t all that fond of mecer hollow’s golden girl. some speculated this was why he dropped out, a feeble attempt to flee from her ; while others stated they’d patch up their differences and rowan was even invited to hope’s birthday party… but if that was the case, didn’t that mean he was at the site where hope was last seen ? only time will tell.
𝚅𝙸𝚃𝙰𝙻 𝙵𝙰𝙲𝚃𝚂
though treated for a short time for his struggles with ADHD and anxiety, rowan has since fallen off the bandwagon. upon turning eighteen, affording the medication and treatment of these disorders was unrealistic to a high school dropout, stuck in a minimum wage job. so it’s often he suffers in silence, simultaneously feeling guilty for being otherwise “defective”, as he would put it.
rowan is a music connoisseur. he loves nearly every genre, but leans more towards folk, rock, & classical. he’s also versed in playing the guitar *wriggles eyebrows* & harmonica.
if he were to hit reset on his life, he would’ve chosen to stay in school and go on to seek out a profession in the culinary field. instead, he spends his free time foraging nearby forests with his dog, dottie, who assists him in hunting. the ingredients he finds he uses to make his meals, and only once in a blue moon will head to the grocery store for items he otherwise can’t obtain himself.
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