i'm not sleeping

They only dilated one eye at the doctor's office which was not lost on the girl who waited on me at DD. #murdery #creep #freakyfriday

Literal note to self... #chalkboardart

Diary of a puppy owner: "I'll just rinse her feet off really quick."

When you're snuggling with your dog and you realize she looks like a delicious roasted chicken. #whoshungry #cantunsee

Perfect day for my tree to arrive. #arborday I'm saving the Earth, people! You're welcome.

#devilscabaret dirty dancers and free #lagunitas count me in! (at Redmoon)

It's just like urinating in nature...

Cheers, bitches!

That'll be enough now, 50 Shades...

Taking naps all day is exhausting. #dogproblems

Greetings from Chicago.

Great day for a walk.

Tell me about it, light switch.

This is exactly the kind of shit that makes me plot my husband's death.

So this is happening. #Siberian #tiger

If you don't have the pleasure of being born on NYE, you probably didn't have the pleasure of having your nutty family dress you up like baby new year, finally answering the age old question, "what's wrong with you, Buffy." I present to you, exhibit A. Also, Happy New Year from this baby new year. P.S. suck it.

Dem eyes.