The Golden Snitch,Ā The Evening Edition of the Daily Prophet.
While the mice are away, the managers will play ā or so the rumor goes. While this Snitch spent the past two weeks recovering from the celebrations (and scandals) that only a New Year can bring, it seems that the players of the League werenāt the only ones misbehaving this New Yearās Eve. Spotted leaving that debaucherous fun house that Puddlemere United manager, Harry Hollingberry, reportedly raked in massive profits for luring unsuspecting citizens into was none other than the host of the party and the notoriously overprofessional manager of the Appleby Arrows Desdemona Wright.Ā
With rumors flying thick and fast about a steamy connection between Hollingberry and Arrows Keeper, Morgan Noel, one has to wonder what game it is that Hollingberry is playing at. (Lest we forget the fate of the last man who dared find himself in numerous Arrows beds, a quick Merlinspeed to former-Quidditch Quarterly staff member, Theodore Edgeminton, may your balls lie in peace in whoeverās pickle jar they finally ended up in.)Ā
It seems, however, that Miss Wright wasnāt the only Arrow to wind up in Puddlemere sheets ā spotted leaving celebrations in a decidedly inebriated state of canoodling were Puddlemere Chaser, Charlie Roberts and Arrows Chaser, Holly Oddpick. With Quidditchers gone wild to bring in the new year, itās no wonder that those who were supposed to be reporting their antics may have slid down that slippery slope with them.
The Prophetās own Scout Valentine deserves an honourable mention, spotted with no fewer than three Wasps over the course of the night in varying states of debauchery, including what weāve heard was a very passionate romp in the backrooms with the usually media-shy Arcturus Fawley and getting up close and personal with Madison Noel on a bartop. In which case we congratulate our esteemed colleague, thatās one way to get a leg up on the competition.
Also falling victim to Hollingberryās house of (highly questionable) delights was Arrows Chaser, Oscar Newcombe, last spotted rehydrating after sampling a few too many of the generously offered āparty favoursā and missing ever since.
As always, our Wasps didnāt let us down on the debauchery ā Miss Madison Noel, notorious Wasps sweetheart, lost her dignity, her date (someone tell Art Fawley that you should at least buy a girl a drink if youāre going to fondle her in a dark corner) and her shirt on a bartop for the most of the night, while her date for the event spent most of his time stripping anyone who crossed his path and imbibing half the bar, if his erratic behaviour was any indication. Regular troublemaker Fortescue seemed in far gloomier spirits, picking fights and spending most of his night sprawled over any surface available when he wasnāt kissing unsuspecting victims.
And while some had to adjourn to other countries to escape the uncomfortable aftermath of their New Yearās rampage (hereās looking at you, Fortescue, and that curious new curse wound this Snitch spotted on that famed torso) others still were conspicuously missing from the event, namely Wasps partyboy, Corvus Quintin and a certain recently turned eighteen Puddlemere Seeker, now thereās a match made in disaster.
With a new year ahead this Snitch only hopes that some of our players can learn from the mistakes of the year behind them and with any luck make some worse ones. Enjoy your 2015.
