Derpin-scenarios

Taeil: Aw, he looked just like me..... must hide it from P.O

B-Bomb: I shall teach him how to be sexy. *sexy dance*

Jaehyo: What? Baby poops? Ew ew ew ew ew *princess hyo mode: on*

U-Kwon: *smiles* hey... little one...

Kyung: So... this is my son? I'm a father now? *touched* *ugly sobbing*

Zico: Let's call him ziaco junior. No, I didn't ask you to speak.

P.O: Awww, he looked so cute~ Can we name him Taeil? :D

Imagine Zelo sending a really cute snapchat to you before he texted you "sorry, wrong number. lol."

Requested by : Anon

sure you can :3

I would try to make more BAP scenarios if you want ;)

Jongup: *bright smile* annyeong

You: oppa, sign here

Jongup: where?

You: here

Jongup: oh, okay

Himchan: uh, Jongup, it's a marriage-

You: *glares* no, no, ignore him. you won't reject fan's request, will you?

Jongup: of course not *done signing* done

You: yes. now let's talk about our marriage.

Jongup: what marriage?

You: ours. you've agreed to marry me

Jongup: I have?

You: yes.

Jongup: when?

You: less than 5 minutes ago

Jongup: really?

You: yes.

Jongup: but-

You: I'll reserve a memorable place for our wedding

You: you don't have to worry

You: because after we get married, there's nothing can break us apart

Jongup: no, that's not the problem

You: what is it then?

Jongup: I don't even know your name, how can I marry someone I just met?

You: well, we're made for each other, so it doesn't matter if we just met

Jongup: huh?

You: I'm bonnie to your clyde

You: juliet to your romeo

Jongup: um, you're scaring me

Security: is everything okay?

Jongup: no, she's scaring me

You: what? no!

Security: Miss, let's go

You: what?? why??

Security: he's feeling uncomfortable *drags you away*

You: NOOOOO!! I'LL COME BACK, JONGUP!! YOU DON'T HAVE TO WORRY!!

Security: please stop yelling

Himchan: damn, you have a creepy fan

Jongup: *blinks* what fan?

Himchan: *look at jongup*

Jongup: *questioning face*

Himchan: .... nevermind

no, please don’t die. :3

usually, I write when I got bored. like, in the middle of the class (yes, I find writing scenarios is way more entertaining than listening to my teacher, obviously xD) or when I just have nothing to do. Apparently, boredom gives me inspiration. :3

aw, that’s very nice of you, anon <3 let me love you forever *creepy smile*

Yongguk: *gummy smile* bbuing bbuing *the baby cries*

Himchan: he's beautiful. like me. but not as beautiful as me, of course. *diva pose*

Daehyun: nomnomnom... oh, that was the baby's food? *gulps*

Youngjae: nope. I'm not gonna clean his shit. clean it yourself. nope.

Jongup: *blinks* is this a baby?

Zelo: finally... I HAVE A LITTLE BROTHER :"D what? he's my son? oh.

Suga and you were watching TV together when a wild cloaked figure appeared.

Cloaked figure: *super deep voice* Min Yoongi~

Suga: *surprised* who the hell are you?

Cloaked figure: you don't have to know who am I. you've been a lazyass for your whole life, and for that, I would punish you with a curse~ whooo~

You: V, is that you?

Cloaked figure: what? no! I don't know who the hell is V, but he must be the most handsome guy ever

You: V, quit playing

V: no, shut up, woman! *chant random latin gibberish*

Suga: what the fuck, V? I thought you were supposed to-

V: *imitates voldemort* avada kedavra! *green light comes out from his hand and hit suga*

You: *gasps*

V: MUHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA, for now on, I'm the cutest member of BTS! *throws a gas bomb* *disappear*

You: *coughs* *coughs* oppa?? where are you?

Suga: meow (trans: right here)

You: *gasps* omo! a cat! so cuteee~ *pet suga's head*

Suga: *hiss* (trans: I'm suga!)

You: *sees Suga's clothes under the cat* ... Suga oppa?

Suga: *nods*

You: *gasps* when did V learn to do things like this? but... don't you use avada kedavra to kill people? why are you still alive?

Suga: meow (trans: because he was just imitating that noseless guy in harry potter)

You: I can't understand what are you saying

Suga: *judging stare*

You: aw how cute~ let's go somewhere together

Suga: *sleeps*

You: yah! why are you sleeping??

Suga: *hiss* (trans: I'm a cat, I can do whatever I wanted to)

You: did you just hiss at me??

Suga: *hiss* (trans: yes, what are you gonna do about that?)

You: if you hiss one more time-

Suga: *hiss*

You: ugh, that's it. *took him from the sofa* *brings him to the bathroom*

Suga: meow? (trans: what- what are you doing, woman??)

You: *took his shaver*

Suga: ?????

You: *shave him bald*

Suga: MEOOOWWW (trans: NOOOOOOOOOO) *struggles*

You: *holding him still* you're not going anywhere!

Suga: *bald*

You: yes, that's more like it

V: what are you doing? *judging look*

You: shaving him. *realizes* V??? WHEN DID YOU-

V: ew, woman. don't you know the curse would be lifted off when the sun is set? *judging look*

You: wat

Suga: meow? (trans: wat?)

V: bye bitches *throws another gas bomb* *laughs while disappearing*

You: that little shit *look at the window* oh no! it's almost sunset!

Suga: *judging stare*

You: puhahaha, grumpy bald cat

Suga: *hiss* (trans: I hate you, goodbye)

You: oh shit, it's sunset already *look at suga*

Suga: *surrounded by green light*

You: what? what's happening?

Suga: *turns into human*

You: *gasps* OPPA, YOU'RE-

Suga: ugh *dizzy* *puts his hand on his head*

You: YOU'RE BALD

Suga: huh?

You: YOU'RE NAKED AND BALD

Suga: WHAT??? *runs to the mirror* *girly scream* I'M BALD

You: AND NAKED

Suga: I'M BALD

You: YOU'RE BALD

Suga: BALD

You: BALD

Suga: BALD

V: BALD

You: wat

V: hi

Suga: V, GIMME BACK MY HAIR!!

V: I'm not the one who responsible for that. I turned you into a cat, not into a naked mole rat

Suga: what did you just call me, bitch?

V: naked mole rat. you looked like a monk

You: *laughs your ass off* A MONK, HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAA

Suga: fuck it, I'm done with you two. goodbye

Kyung: Hey, sexay *greasy smile*

You: uh... *carefully gives him a paper to sign*

Kyung: *winks at you before he gives you his autograph* so how long have you been waiting to meet me?

You: ... actually, you're not my bias.

Kyung: Bullshit, everyone loves me

Jaehyo: I think you're wrong on that part

Kyung: Shut up, hyung. you don't know anything

You: please stop fighting

Kyung: For you, babe, anything

You: Okay, can you please give me the paper back?

Kyung: no.

You: Why??

Kyung: because this is the only thing from you that I have.

You: What the-

Kyung: why are you trying to resist my charm?

You: I'm not-

Kyung: Stop lying to me

You: I'm not lying to you, why would I lied anyway?

Kyung: Because you're scared I don't love you back

You: I-

Kyung: Don't worry, I love you back

You: ...

Kyung: Are you too mesmerized with my charm?

You: no, I want to punch you right now.

Kyung: Well, do it then

You: wut

Kyung: do it. I dare you.

You: Are you crazy? Your fans would kill me if I do

Kyung: Are you scared because of the fans or you scared that you would hurt me? *winks*

You: I hate you, goodbye *walks away*

Kyung: hey! wait!

You: What?

Kyung: you might want your paper back

You: *rolls your eyes* you can keep it

Kyung: No, you can take it. I insist.

You: *sighs heavily* okay, okay... *come back to take the paper before you walk away again*

Kyung: *smiles as he watches you go* see you later, sweetheart

You: *notices that there's an unknown number written on the paper* what the- oh, fuck, don't tell me... *turns your head to Kyung*

Kyung: *smirks seductively* Call me.

Don't be shy to ask and make sure you checked the rules or the characters :) I'll answer any questions except smuts

Check my AU!Question blog out! Make sure you read the rules and happy asking B)

Jungkook: Noona... may I talk to you for a second?

You: *turns to him* What is it?

Jungkook: I... want to tell you something important

You: Okay..

Jungkook: Um... how do I say this? Uh, I... noona, I like you. From the first time I saw you, I already fell for you

You: *surprised* Oh, is that so?

Jungkook: *nods*

You: If you don't mind me asking, why do you like me?

Jungkook: Your hair.

You: I beg your pardon?

Jungkook: *nods* Your hair.

You: My... hair?

Jungkook: Yessssh *moans*

You: Is that it? Just because of my hair?

Jungkook: What did you expect? *judging look*

You: No, nothing. It's just... pretty unusual. *nervous laugh*

Jungkook: Yes, sir, I'm one of a kind

You: Did you just- ugh, nevermind

Jungkook: So, what do you say?

You: I'm sorry, Kookie... but I already have a boyfriend.

Jungkook: *surprised* What? Who?

Suga: Me.

Jungkook: Wha- Hyung, where did you come from?

Suga: Your mom. Oooooooooooh~

You: Oppa, please

Suga: What? You know I got swag.

Jungkook: So you choose this... thing over me? *cries*

You: Aw, Kookie... please don't cry...

Suga: Yeah, what are you? 5?

Jungkook: I'm 16 this year...

Suga: Guess what? I don't care, bitch

Jungkook: *sobs harder* But... but...

You: *gasps* oppa! Don't be so mean to your dongsaeng!

Suga: You mean my little bitch

You: No, I mean your dongsaeng. Your maknae.

Suga: He's my little bitch.

Jungkook: *quietly grabs your hair*

You: Opp- um, Kookie, what are you doing?

Jungkook: Your hair... it's calling for me. *then he silently eats your hair*

You: WHAT THE FUCK?? Oppa, do something about your maknae!

Suga: My little bitch.

You: Whatever! Do something!

Jungkook: *still eating your hair*

Suga: *looks at Jungkook then back at you* Swag.

You: Is that it? Because it's not helping at all.

Suga: Swag.

You: Would you stop saying that and help me instead?

Suga: No. Swag.

You: Ugh, do I have to do everything myself? *took a shaver from your purse*

Suga: Why do you have that kind of thing in your purse?

You: What? Are you trying to say that a girl shouldn't bring shaver in her purse? *shave your head bald*

Jungkook: Hairs... all mine... *went to the dark corner to eat your hair*

You: Ew.

Suga: *looks at you* *breathing heavily*

You: What?

Suga: No, it's just-

You: You don't like me anymore because I'm bald?

Suga: Are you kidding me?

You: Huh? *confused*

Suga: You looked so swag. I can't.

You: What the-

Suga: *headstand* Would you marry me?

You: Why the hell are you handstanding? Aren't you supposed to be kneeling if you're going to propose someone?

Suga: That's so not swag.

You: *took a deep breath* Fuck this. We're done. Just marry that swag of yours. Goodbye. And take care of your dongsaeng. *glances at Jungkook who is still eating your hair*

Suga: Little bitch.

You: Whatever. I'm outta here. Goodbye, bitches.

You sighed dreamily as you see JR, your classmate who is one of the popular kids in your school. He's handsome, kind, and smart, there's no reason not to like him. You took a deep breath when both of you made an eye contact and he grinned. Your heart skip a beat when he approached you with that cute grin of his. Yes, lately he has been trying to get closer to you. You don't know the reason, but as he always text you and trying to be there for you, you can't help but think he likes you. Especially when he gave you flowers on the Valentine's Day. And no matter how often you guys met, you always have butterflies in your stomach whenever he's around, like now.

"Hey, ___________", he smiled to you, "I was wondering if you... if you're free today."

"Um, yeah, I have nothing to do today. Why?" you can feel your cheeks heat up. You just secretly hope he doesn't notice your blushing cheeks.

"I want to visit your house, if that's okay."

"Sure. I don't see why not", you can feel the excitement in your heart. You can see all the girls in your classroom glaring at you in jealousy, but you don't care.

"Great!" his eyes lit up, "I'll see you later, yeah?"

You nodded excitedly and he ruffled your hair before he went back to his friends, who are starting to tease him. He doesn't seem to mind though, and that makes you happy.

***********

The school bell rings and the students immediately walked out from the classroom. You took a deep breath and try to looked normal. You can see JR is waiting for you and as he sees you, he grinned happily. You approached him and without any warning, he grabbed your hand softly, intertwining his fingers with yours. You can feel your heart beating stronger because of it. He led you to his motorcycle and he gave a helmet to you.

"Do you always bring two helmets?" you asked.

"No, but I brought two today because of you", he shrugged and you can feel the butterflies in your stomach gone wild, "Kajja."

You sit behind him and nervously putting your hand around his waist. He smiled as he put on his helmet. You held tight to him as he started to drive his motorcycle in terrifying speed.

"I heard you have an older brother", he started a conversation.

"Yeah, I do have one", you told him, "Wae?"

"Is he nice?"

"Yeah, he is."

"Will he be mad if a guy brought her sister home with a motorcycle?"

His question makes you smile. He's worried whether my brother would be mad or not, how cute, you thought to yourself.

"No, I don't think he will", you said.

"Good", he smiled as he stopped, "Because we've arrived."

"Wait, how do you know about my house?" you furrowed your eyebrows because as far as you know, he has never went to your house.

"Jaebum told me", he shrugged.

"Ah", that makes sense to you since JB went to your house often, "Well, then, let's go in."

You gave the helmet to JR and he puts the helmets on the motorcycle. He followed behind you and you can feel yourself feeling nervous without any obvious reason. You opened the door and you can feel his breath, which makes your shivered.

"I'm home", you said quietly as you took off your shoes. JR followed obediently behind you and as you entered the house, you can see your older brother, Mark, watching TV.

"Welcome home, sis-" Mark doesn't finish his sentence when he sees JR and he immediately smirking, "Well, you don't usually bring any guy home."

"What about JB?" you asked.

"JB isn't counted, he's just the boy who lives next door", Mark shrugged nonchalantly. For some reasons, you can feel JR tensed.

"Are you okay?" you asked JR.

"They were right", he answered without looking at you.

"What do you mean?" you furrowed your eyebrows.

"Your brother..."

"What's with Mark?" you glanced at Mark who is watching the TV, not caring about you and JR.

"He's hot as hell."

"Wait, what?" you immediately looked at JR, not believing your ears.

"I just want to rip that shirt and make out with him", JR licked his lower lips.

"What the fuck, JR??" you thought he was joking until you noticed he's not. There's hunger and lust in his eyes.

"Oh, God, I bet he's great in bed", JR moaned softly. You cringed a bit at the thought.

"The hell?? I thought you're... um, straight."

"What makes you think I'm not??" he glared at you.

"Well, you just staring at my brother with..." you can't even bring yourself to continue your sentence, so you just shrugged.

"You should see him, he's irresistible."

"He's my brother."

"Look at his arm! Oh my God, he's so perfect!" JR ignored you.

"JR-"

But then when you looked at your brother, he's looking at both of you. He furrowed his eyebrows as he sees JR's expression.

"What the hell happened to your friend?" he asked.

"How am I supposed to know??" you asked, frustrated with your suddenly-gay-crush.

"Mark hyung, do you know that you're really irresistible?" JR asked.

"What? Well..." Mark bit his lower lip, one of his habit, "... I think I know that."

"Why are you biting your lower lip? Are you trying to tease me?" JR asked again.

"What?? No!" Mark looked at him weirdly, "But... I have to admit that you dont' looked so bad either."

"Mark hyung..."

"JR..."

"Mark hyung..."

Then they started to make out on the sofa. You just stood there, not believing your eyes.

"What are you-" you stopped as JR moaned when Mark bit JR's lower lip, "That's it. I'm done. I'm done with this shit. Goodbye."

And then you just leave and go to 7-Eleven to buy slurpee.

- THE END -

aww, thank you, anon. that’s very nice of you xDlet me love you forever <3

You: Oh, how long have you been waiting for me?

Bambam: I just got here *adorable grin*

You: Ah, okay.

Bambam: So, what do you want to do?

You: I don't know. What do you want to do?

Bambam: Let's go somewhere.

You: Like...?

Bambam: Amusement park! *excitedly*

You: Okay, kajja!

*at the amusement park*

You: What do you want to play?

Bambam: I don't know. You choose.

You: Well, we can try riding rollercoaster if you want to.

Bambam: Hell no. It'll ruin my beautiful hair.

You: What? Uh, okay. How about the ghost house?

Bambam: *cries* Nooo~ I'm scared of things like that. D":

You: Please don't cry.

Bambam: Don't you know how scared I am to those kind of things?

You: Actually, I don't.

Bambam: Wow, you're such a bitch.

You: Excuse me??

Bambam: Hurry, what do you want to play?

You: *took a deep breath* Okay, how about carousel?

Bambam: Ew, that's gay as fuck. But okay, if you insisted.

You: What? No, I don't-

Bambam: Let's go! I don't have much times.

*at the carousel*

Bambam: OH MY GOD!! THIS IS LIKE, THE BEST THING EVER!! CAN I STAY HERE FOREVER WITH THESE HORSES AND MAKE BEAUTIFUL FAMILY TOGETHER??

You: They're not even real.

Bambam: Stop ruining my dream, woman.

You: I'm not trying to ruin-

Bambam: Stop talking, you're hurting Annabeth.

You: Who the hell is Annabeth?

Bambam: This horse. The one I'm riding. The one that I trust with my whole life.

You: What about me?

Bambam: Who the hell are you?

You: Your girlfriend.

Bambam: Annabeth is my soulmate.

You: Okay, you know what? Screw it, we're done.

Bambam: What do you mean?

You: I think we should break up

Bambam: *tears* why? Don't you love me anymore?

You: What the-

Bambam: After all these times, after all the things we've been through

You: But you said- *sighs* okay, I forgive you.

Bambam: Yay!

*a while later*

You: I think we should get off

Bambam: Who are you to tell me what to do, bitch?

Ken: *comes into your room cheerfully* uwaaah~

You: *groans as you clutch your stomach* I hate my life.

Ken: *stops* chagiya, are you okay?

You: No.

Ken: what? why? are you dying?

You: Yes, oppa. Yes, I'm dying.

Ken: Wae?? Did you eat something bad?? I've told you not to pick up food from ground and eat it. Look what it did to you now.

You: no, I didn't. now, leave me alone.

Ken: But I-

You: *growls*

Ken: Are you in that time of month?

You: *glares* what do you think?

Ken: omo! *covers his mouth with his hands* ottokajiiii?

You: you better get out before I kill you.

Ken: But I can help, though? let my handsome face distracts you. *grins*

You: GET OUT!! *throws pillow*

Ken: *avoids it* chagi, don't be like that~ *pouts*

You: I hate you.

Ken: naww, you love me

You: I hate you. I hate your nose. I hate your face. I hate everyone. I hate myself. I hate my life. I hate everything. I- DON'T YOU DARE INVADING MY PERSONAL SPACE, LEE JAEHWAN!!

Ken: am I invading your personal space? *aegyo* ottokajii??

You: *glares*

Ken: *rubs your stomach* it's okay~ it'll be better soon~

You: WHAT DO YOU KNOW??

Ken: well, N hyung said that-

You: WHAT DOES HE KNOW?? HE HAS NEVER FEEL THIS KIND OF PAIN BEFORE!

N: *comes out from nowhere* actually, I have.

You: What- WHERE DID YOU COME FROM??

N: I came down from the sky.

Ken: No, he actually has been waiting for me. He's supposed to be outside but I have no idea how did he come in.

You: Did you say you've felt the pain of menstrual cramps?

N: Well, I gave birth to three little brats, what do you think?

You: are you talking about Hongbin oppa, Ravi oppa and Hyuk?

N: Yes.

You: What the- they're not your biological children! you're not even a woman!

N: I can be whatever I want, bitch. who are you to tell me who am I supposed to be?

You: But you still not a-

N: no, no. you still don't have the right to tell who am I supposed to be. Just because you're a bit prettier than me, doesn't mean that you have the right to judge whatever I'm doing.

You: *glares* I'm not trying to judge, I'm just telling the truth.

N: What do you know about the truth? And don't you dare glaring at me, woman!

Ken: *aegyo* ottokajiii??

You: God, just kill me.

- Admin JokerQuinzel

Jimin: hey gurl

You: *sighs* here we go again.

Jimin: You don't seem so happy. Is my hotness bothering you?

You: No, Jimin. You're bothering me.

Jimin: In good way?

You: No.

Jimin: Is it because I haven't confessed to you and you've been waiting for it for a quite long time?

You: What? No! And if you ever thought of confessing-

Jimin: I know this day will come, which is why I always prepared for it.

You: Huh?

Jimin: _________...

You: No, stop. Don't.

Jimin: I've been paying attention to you and-

You: No, you've been stalking me. If you stop, that'll be great.

Jimin: And you trapped my heart with your charms. I can't stop thinking about you and I was an idiot for not confessing sooner.

You: And you're just being an idiot if you're confessing to me after you scared me yesterday.

Jimin: I didn't.

You: Yes, you did.

Jimin: I was just trying to make sure that you're okay.

You: I was in the shower!

Jimin: Yeah, that was a bonus. *wink* *greasy smile*

You: Are you fucking kidding me?? *glares*

Jimin: *cough* Don't change the subject.

You: Wha-

Jimin: ___________, would you be my girlfriend?

You: No.

Jimin: *gasps* why??

You: Because-

Jimin: *grabs your hand* *puts it on his covered abs*

You: What are you doing?

Jimin: Don't deny it.

You: Deny what?? *tries to pull your hand away*

Jimin: *still holding your wrist* You love my abs.

You: I don't. And let go of my hand, people are watching.

Jimin: You don't like my abs?

You: No, I-

Jimin: *gasps* Oh, I know! You want a direct skin contact, don't you?

You: What the hell? No, you-

Jimin: *puts your hand under his shirt to feel his abs* Can you feel it? My abs? *smirk*

You: Oh, God. *tries to pull your hand away harder*

Jimin: *not letting go of your hand* I have a nice abs, right?

You: Yeah, whatever. Now you can let go of my hand. Please.

Jimin: No.

You: Jimin, listen.

Jimin: What?

You: People. Are. Watching. Would you like me to die in embarrasment because of... this?

Jimin: Did you just said that you love my abs?

You: .....

You: .... kill me.

You: Oppa, am I late?

Hansol: No, you're not. *smiles*

You: *smiles back* any plans for our date?

Hansol: Yeah, I have some plans for us. And I guess this is the right time for you to know everything.

You: Everything?

Hansol: *leans closer* Everything.

You: Sure. What do you want to tell me?

Hansol: Because we've been dating for a long time-

You: We actually just dated for a month.

Hansol: Would you let me finish or what?

You: Okay, you can continue.

Hansol: Because we've been dating for a long time, I've decided to trust you completely. Like, we're made for each other right?

You: That's-

Hansol: Please, let me finish, love.

You: Okaaaay...

Hansol: I've been wanting to tell you about this, but I haven't got the right time until now. But before I tell you, will you promise me that you will stay by my side, no matter what happen?

You: *laugh awkwardly* wow, are you going to propose me?

Hansol: ew, no. What makes you think that? We only dated for a month.

You: But you said-

Hansol: Darling, don't change the subject. Yes or no?

You: *sighs* okay.

Hansol: Don't 'okay' me. Say yes or no.

You: *took a deep breath* Yes.

Hansol: So... *looks around* you know everyone has a secret right? So am I. I have a secret that nobody can know.

You: Then why would you tell me?

Hansol: I told you before. It's because we've been dating for a long time and I've decided to trust you. And you should trust me too. To prove it, I want you to do something with me.

You: Are you talking about-

Hansol: *gasps* do you know what am I talking about?

You: Uh... I think so?

Hansol: So, what do you say?

You: I- I don't know. I mean, we-

Hansol: Do you love me?

You: Well... I do, but-

Hansol: Then do it with me.

You: *took a deep breath* will I regret this?

Hansol: *shrugs* Probably.

You: Okay, whatever.

Hansol: alright! you're like... the best girlfriend ever! *hugs you tightly*

You: *surprised* do you really think so?

Hansol: hell yeah! *leans closer to your ear* so where should we hide the body?