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@derotte
⌞ carrd. aest sideblog. study. lore + verse directory. prompts. ⌝

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Nooshin Ghanbari, from "transient"
the way i made this blog to disappear again. i will always be sporadic / low activity but aside from that some personal stuff came up that made me not ✨️feeling it ✨️. i hope to be here later today ... or tomorrow idk. getting back into writing and being here is so 🫠 but i have so many nice stuff in the inbox still and replies and dms to answer so !! gimme a min to get my things together 🙏
──── ' ooc. the plan for tonight is to do my inbox. nice things in there that i want to chew on. btw my inbox is always open and (reblogged) prompts don't have an expiration date so you can always send me if you feel like. you can find them all here.
Desert at Dusk (1928) by Audley Dean Nicols

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when Sharon Olds said "If I pass a mirror, I turn away, I do not want to look at her, and she does not want to be seen."
when Rachel Mckibbens said "It’s okay to wave good-bye to yourself in the mirror. To write, I don’t want anything. It’s okay to despise what you have inherited, to feel dead in a city of pulses. It’s okay to be the whale that never comes up for air, to love best the taste of your own blood."
but then also when Dale Cooper said "I don’t know who I am. We search and search, and always end up looking into the same mirror, at the same reflection, hoping that we will find something different. Heal … heal … heal … heal … heal … heal … heal … heal … heal … heal … heal … heal … heal … heal … heal … please."
JEM JEM JEMMY JEM JEM HIIIIIIII!!!!! IT'S BEEN SO LONG ;w; ( happy twirl hugs. )
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!! NOËMI!!!!!!! I AM TWIRLING YOU IN RETURN!!! SQUEEZING YOU SO TIGHTLY!! IT'S BEEN TOO LONG 😭😭 I MISSED YOU SO BAD OMDJHSKJHJ
sometimes the call of the mountains was simply too strong to ignore. its howling rivers, its bending tree's and swirling, aching trails would whisper into the houses closest to it. it would travel across the sun bleached grass, creep along the fences and slither inside the stables. sometimes it would nestle in the chicken coop, startle the hens before it would disappear again. but most of the times it would open jesse's windows and crawl next to him in bed. a gentle caress across bearded cheek. return. and he'd awake. rising like the dead ( was he ever alive ) and making the travel upwards.
the old gods made home within these woods. chased away by the arrival of the new ones, forced to hide in creeks, hollowed trees and shivering rabbits. every step taken would stir them, distant laughter echoing and pulling at whomever dared to enter these rotten grounds. it arrived in whispers, chatting into his ear, buzzing bee's crawling inside his bones and begging to be left out. he doesn't scratch at his flesh. not this time. the bee's get hungrier ( he can feel himself bleed ). he ignores the rotting corpse before him, half - eaten, dead eyes staring at him. sticky, gooey, melting. there is a god there. withering away: jesse swallows thickly, thirsty and hungry, the moon watches before it turns away.
other eyes watch him now. eyes that aren't quite like it but also not entirely foreign either. the old, withering god trying to survive in the corpse shakes before those eyes. jesse can hear the forgotten god speak. feels it on their tongue, their lips, their ears and eyes. eat me, eat me, eat me. the god wants to survive, to be worshipped and brought back to civilization where it can grow and become whole again. the voice seems to come from those eyes. from the fog that rolls across the trail and eagerly licks at their ankles. own eyes follow the mountain trail ... sees the struggles and the hunger of a hunt.
" I've made worse mistakes than this. " prompt / always accepting
ah, so this corpse had been prey and those eyes the hunter. gaze moves back to the corpse, sees what the hunter cannot see, and that is how the dying god breaks out of the corpse, first its many arms, then its head, soon the rest of its body. a birth. it looks at jesse and then the source of the many eyes. he sighs, dark eyebags darker now, as heavy boots carry him towards the struggling divinity. ❝ perhaps. but a homeless god is no good for the environment. ❞ maybe it made no sense to @vorasinity , fog dispersing, revealing them to jesse. but it seemed they knew that what they killed or tried to kill was nothing ordinary either. ❝ ... will rot an' the scent will carry a mile away. only attract more problems we don't need 'ere. ❞ he bends down, offers gloved hand to something already quiet dead. if treated right, this could prove to be useful for the soil. ❝ you can rectify this lil mistake by cleanin' it up. ❞ it being the corpse. that had no use anymore.
there was a certain kind of silence that stretched across the land. this silence was accompanied by a stillness that refused to be moved, not even by the sun that crept along the sky, pouring its still cold light across the field like liquid gold. it was waiting. it was contemplating. just like jesse who at this very moment leaned against the fence, head tilted back, the rim of his hat casting shadows across freckled visage.
a small break taken between the menial tasks around the ranch. he never asked where @killdevil came from, never asked what brought him in these forgotten lands. set foot upon hallowed and rotten ground. like the wounded animals that would find their way to the lonely fieldsthe rancher guarded over; he simply took one look at the other. felt something coil deep within his being, something ravenous, forcing him to stumble upon knees when alone: clasp hands together and beg for forgiveness to whatever lurked within his homestead. prayers burned tongue, left lashes upon flesh, blinded him but it was worth it.
" who can say what shapes an appetite? ", prompt / always accepting.
a soft click of his tongue, head eventually tips towards boothill. look given is measured, time taken and not once wasted. ❝ the sun has yet to fully wake an' this is what we startin' the day with ? ❞ an answer offered finally in that soft drawl of his. once there would be warmth in his voice but when tongue was rotten how could words ever compete against the heat of a hearth ? ❝ loss. ❞ worn boots, faded in color, one is moved, tip of it used to scuffle it idly within the dirt. ❝ loss makes us all hungry. no better than coyote's lurkin' about. ❞ exhale through nose, the wither of bones is felt underneath shirt while the farm awakens as honey - like sunlight pours across the both of them. they all had to be fed ( it had to be fed ). ❝ you hungry ? ❞
𝑺𝑬𝑵𝑻𝑬𝑵𝑪𝑬 𝑷𝑹𝑶𝑴𝑷𝑻𝑺.
↬ THE LANGUAGE OF THORNS, midnight tales and dangerous magic. ( 2017 ) by leigh bardugo.
sentences taken from or inspired by the collection’s dialogue & narration.
+ feel free to change pronouns !
i. AYAMA AND THE THORN WOOD.
‘ love speaks in flowers. truth requires thorns. ’
‘ we all know the story of how the queen becomes a queen. ’
‘ we should leave this place. ’
‘ no doubt it will come and devour us all. ’
‘ the beast will laugh you right out of the wild lands. ’
‘ you know how the stories go. interesting things happen only to pretty girls. ’
‘ is the wood much worse than a garden overgrown with pricklers ? ’
‘ stupid girl ! do you wish to become a monster ? ’
‘ strike me. cleave me in two. ’
‘ you’re as thorny as the wood. ’
‘ there is but one rule in my wood. speak truth. ’
‘ perhaps you might show mercy freely. ’
‘ just eat a bit of the sun to fill the sky, and you will feel empty no longer. ’
‘ what nonsense ! of course that’s not how the story ends. ’
‘ some people are born with a piece of night inside, and that hollow place can never be filled. ’
‘ what do i care for winter ? no season touches this wood. ’
‘ you know the only bargain i will make. ’
‘ sometimes the unseen is not to be feared and those that are meant to love us most are not always the ones that do. ’
‘ bad fates do not always follow those that deserve them. ’
‘ no prince is worth your life. ’
‘ are you so eager to be eaten ? ’
‘ they have told me to return with your heart. ’
‘ you think to love a monster ? ’
‘ a man like you is owed no words. ’
ii. THE TOO CLEVER FOX.
‘ you are doomed to a miserable life. ’
‘ better to be hungry now than to be sorry later. ’
‘ what will everyone say when they see such a face ? ’
‘ we have not gone so soft as that. ’
‘ you think that we will let you live on foolish promises ? ’
‘ you have bested me. that much is clear. ’
‘ will you not free me ? ’
‘ you will have a fine time of it, i can tell you. ’
‘ i can bear ugliness. i find the one thing i cannot live with is death. ’
‘ if you will only cease your talking, i will gladly go. ’
‘ where he went, he bled the woods dry. ’
‘ what’s a bit more blood ? ’
‘ you should leave this place. you are not safe here. ’
‘ with such big eyes, i think you see too much. ’
‘ will you not tell me what troubles you ? ’
‘ why do you stay with him ? you’re pretty enough to catch a husband. ’
‘ just because you escape one trap, doesn’t mean you will escape the next. ’
‘ first i must find my courage. ’
‘ few can resist the sight of a pretty girl crying. ’
‘ the trap is loneliness, and no one escapes it. not even me. ’
‘ in the wood, even songbirds must be survivors. ’
iii. THE WITCH OF DUVA.
‘ there was a time when the wood ate girls. ’
‘ be back before dark. the trees are hungry tonight. ’
‘ who can say what shapes an appetite ? ’
‘ this is my home, you can’t just send me away. ’
‘ don’t be foolish. there’s plenty of light. ’
‘ well then, come help me stir the pot. ’
‘ i will warn you just this once. go. ’
‘ you cannot come and go from this place like you’re fetching water from a well. ’
‘ hope made me stubborn. ’
‘ stay there and keep quiet. i don’t need rumors that i’ve been taking girls. ’
‘ i will not have you bring a monster to my door. ’
‘ you know that you are welcome to remain here with me. ’
‘ i will follow her. i will peck out her eyes. ’
‘ believe me. say you believe me. ’
‘ dark things have a way of slipping through narrow spaces. ’
iv. LITTLE KNIFE.
‘ it is dangerous to travel the northern road with a troubled heart. ’
‘ if you are lost in your own thoughts, you may find yourself stepping off the path and into the dark woods. ’
‘ she was beautiful from the moment of her birth. ’
‘ why must i be the one to hide ? ’
‘ do you think i am so foolish or so cruel ? ’
‘ water only wants direction. it wants to be told what to do. ’
‘ always you have done my bidding, but what good are you to me now ? ’
‘ soon i will be very rich, but will i have a good man ? ’
‘ that is a question for the river. ’
‘ your tongue is not fit for my true name. ’
‘ will you come with me, and be bride to nothing but the shore ? ’
‘ she was terrifying in her beauty, bright like a devouring star. ’
‘ remember that to use a thing is not to own it. ’
‘ should you ever take a bride, listen closely to her questions. ’
v. THE SOLDIER PRINCE.
‘ this is the problem with even lesser demons. they come to your door in velvet coats and polished shoes. ’
‘ you will find great love and more gold than you could wish for. ’
‘ he’s a charming fellow, but most unusual, and peculiarities seem to follow him. ’
’ it seemed harmless at the time. ’
‘ he needed a girl, still malleable, one that he could make admire him. ’
‘ this is pleasant. this is enough. ’
‘ are you my soldier ? are you my prince ? ’
‘ i have not come to fight, only to talk. ’
‘ wanting is why people get up in the morning. it gives them something to dream of at night. ’
‘ i am perfectly real. ’
‘ she loves you, though, and that will make it harder. ’
‘ best not to ask. i think the answer would please no one. ’
‘ we can stay forever in the land of dreams. ’
‘ kiss me. take me from this place. ’
‘ i sent you to die a hundred times. ’
‘ i eat the wonder in their eyes. ’
‘ you were an idea in my head. you were nothing, and to nothing you will return when i think of you no more. ’
‘ you wanted only that i might live. you would sacrifice your own life to make it so. ’
‘ are you my darling ? are you mine ? ’
vi. WHEN WATER SANG FIRE.
‘ you wish to strike a bargain. ’
‘ make me someone new. ’
‘ this is the problem with making a thing forbidden. it does nothing but build an ache in the heart. ’
‘ easy magic is pretty. great magic requires that you trouble the waters. ’
‘ no one expects me to accomplish anything. ’
‘ i can smell your ambition like blood in the water.’
‘ i know that you should keep it like a secret, not shout it like a curse. ’
‘ yes. i can imagine it all. ’
‘ you are worth more than that. you should not have to earn him. ’
‘ hope rises like water trapped beneath a dam, higher and higher, in increments that mean nothing until you face the flood. ’
‘ there is no pain like the pain of transformation. ’
‘ take your pleasures as you will. ’
‘ come, and i’ll tell you all you wish to know. ’
‘ he made me dream of things i cannot have. ’
‘ i do not care for dancing. ’
‘ look into the mirror, and try to deny it. ’
‘ you have never been like the others, and you never will be. ’
‘ we were not made to please princes. ’
‘ i am not quite mortal either, and i have many lives to live. ’
‘ i wouldn’t care if you were part human or part frog. ’
‘ my voice is not enough. ’
‘ you know i was never strong. ’

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more random sentence starters.
“that version of me is gone.”
“this changes nothing.”
“i was counting on it.”
“watch me.”
“it wasn’t like this before.”
“i can’t pretend anymore.”
“it’s a promise.”
“say it again.”
“don’t do this.”
“you’re late.”
“this is your last chance.”
“i made my choice long ago.”
“it was over the moment you left.”
“i had to see it for myself.”
“i’ve made worse mistakes than this.”
“you changed.”
“tell me the truth.”
“you look like you’ve seen a ghost.”
“you owe me.”
“you followed the wrong path.”
“this isn’t over.”
“i warned you.”
“you’re hiding something.”
“you’ll regret this.”
“they recognized the weapon before they recognized the person holding it.”
“is this a threat?”
“some things can’t be fixed.”
“help me understand.”
“it ends however you decide.”
“you don’t understand.”
“you can’t stop this.”
“you came back.”
“it doesn’t have to end like this.”
“you’re making a mistake.”
“we never make it out clean.”
“maybe it was the only one.”
“you remember me, don’t you?”
“you lied to me.”
“you’re shaking.”
“silence would have been kinder.”
“you shouldn’t have followed me.”
“i trusted you.”
“say my name.”
“i’m not afraid.”
“you knew, didn’t you?”
“is this goodbye?”
“things change.”
“you don’t have to be alone.”
“i mean it this time.”
“that was your first mistake.”
“you’re not who i remember.”
“we don’t have much time.”
“was any of it real?”
“that’s not what you said before.”
“listen to me.”
“and yet, here we are.”
“put it down before this gets worse.”
“look at me.”
“i regret a lot of things.”
“you’re bleeding.”
“i didn’t think you’d survive.”
“don’t say my name like that.”
“you knew i’d come.”
“maybe you never knew me.”
“why are you here?”
“you wouldn’t like it.”
“people like us don’t get happy endings.”
“you followed me into ruin.”
“before everything fell apart.”
“there’s always a choice.”
“we could still fix this.”
“you’ve said that before.”
“i never meant for this to happen.”
“you promised.”
“what did you do?”
“before you chose a side.”
“don’t turn your back on me.”
“before you betrayed me.”
“you shouldn’t have.”
“i’m trying to help you.”
“you’ve always known the truth.”
“say something worth hearing.”
“i’m not backing down.”
“help me, or get out of my way.”
“don’t be foolish.”
“you should have run when you had the chance.”
“i owe you nothing.”
“i had no choice.”
“i walked away when it mattered most.”
“i crossed a line i can’t uncross.”
“i remember you too clearly.”
“you still care?”
“i won’t say it again.”
watching, hoping the wind blows slowly so i can keep you a moment
Marie Howe, from Magdalene: Poems; "The Teacher"
Text ID: So, I thought I had to become more than / I was, more than I'd been. / but that wasn't it. It seemed rather that / something had to go. Something had to / be let go of.
tag drop 1.

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