ghost

Oh also - bf is working on Tuesday which means I will spend that day making up for the trip's low step counts. So far the first day I managed 6k, 10k yesterday, and for today I'm at 3.5k so far which. Is very low :// but he's showering so I'm pacing while he does that and idk I'm hoping I don't have to stop until I'm at/past 6k and then hopefully I can walk more later idk

YAAYYAYAYAYAYAYYYY!!! Bf is taking me to visit his work tmw n his manager is letting me meet the shelter bunny :D the public doesn't get to meet him so im special basically :3

Eek !! Saturday we're going to 2 science museums for his birthday :3 !!! One has a dinosaur exhibit and the other has a planetarium n those are what I'm most excited about :D

I need to shit so bad I feel sick

Need my phone to charge so I can be getting steps :// I slept a couple more hours which is nice

Wtv. Taking lax. A very controlled amount but istg I need it. I feel like shit. Why can't I be getting steps. I could be at 6k by now if I was able to be pacing from the time I woke up. I hate this I hate this I hate this. God I'm so fat I'm so fat I'm so fat. How do people even maintain like how does that happen. I'm in a deficit of minimum 1.2k from yesterday and I'm up so much. Number are never the same. They're always up and up and up. Or down. But it feels like they're mainly up. Regardless they never stay the same. I want to be walking. I feel like I'm going crazy not getting steps in. It's making relapse urges so bad too. Cuz I can feel the horridness physically in my body and I just want to stop feeling like utter fucking shit omg. I didn't realize I was going to actually start losing my mind if I wasn't able to get steps in. It's all getting so pent up in my body and I need some sort of release and I can't get it.

If I were at home I'd be getting steps in and it kills me that I can't. I'm awake and I just have to sit. I'm just sitting. And I swear I can feel the fat growing.

I want to just. Down lax. But idk what plans we have/might make and I have to make the lax I have last the whole trip. But god I look horrific and that number is so fucking high. How did <1k intake and 10k steps put me up 2lbs??? (1lb technically but I shit in the morning so reweighed at noon and im almost 2lb up from that)

"Mozzarella is the white people of cheese" -my bf

Sometimes I have to step back n think abt n acknowledge what normal & healthy skinny looks like

Bf's cat getting his steps in with me fr

If I tried to shit I could but I have limited pacing time before I have to go wake up bf sooooo