Another Girl Writing A Book

You fell in love with my flowers but not with my roots, so when Autumn arrived you didn’t know what to do.

What exactly do people say when they breakup? It’s over? No. This isn’t a movie. It’s only over for one person. It’s only truly over for one. Only one person sips that coffee that won’t help them stay up. Only one person feels like they’re missing a finger, a leg, or a heartbeat. Goodbye? Maybe. Probably. Goodbye, my love, farewell. Goodbye, I’ll see you in a few years… and I hope we’ll remain friends. Yeah, fuck that. I hate goodbyes. We can’t be friends. Call it childish, but how can I share a conversation with someone I used to hold to sleep? Hear about your day? Fuck, what if he makes you cry just like me? Expect me to be there too? That’s why I had to cut you off. If it ever got to that, I don’t know if we’ll be friends. I don’t remember how we broke up. I don’t. I don’t remember what I said. I remember crying. I remember punching a wall. I remember taking the truth from out of your tongue, it ran deep. You were always a shitty liar, naked and bare, you could never run from it. The truth like a star painted into the black sky, a vessel of your demise. The look in your eyes when I called you out on it. You always had that look, the how the fuck did you know? Who told you? Baby, I’ve known you for years, the truth is, I made that fucking look. You’ll never have someone like me again, someone who can see the truth before you even opened your mouth to say a word, before you delete any messages, before you share about your day, you see.. The tone in your voice, the words you choose, the decisions in our conversation, the red lights you sped past, the green lights you stopped at, they will all come back to bite you. Maybe that’s why you left. I always knew everything a bit too well. I knew you a bit too much. I loved you, and maybe… that is not how I should have been. There goes the gentleness again. “Goodbye, you’ll always be with me.”

Evening Star