*Slap*

I can fit two fingers in there.

There’s always that one guy who has to cram himself into a crowded elevator instead of waiting for the next one.

Nervousness. Fidgety body movements and looking anxious. Constantly looking from side to side or looking around at other shoppers and employees. Facial expressions of worry, such as wide open eyes, raised eyebrows and crinkled foreheads and gaping mouth. This is usually seen immediately after concealment has already occurred and eye contact is made with the suspect. Releasing nervous tension through exercises such as stretching, cracking knuckles, rotating arms. Walking faster or slower then normal customers. Entering the store and proceeding directly to an area at a brisk pace while eyeballing customers. Walking around the store briskly through aisles while carrying merchandise, attempting to not be seen or followed by associates while concealing the merchandise Refusing assistance from store staff and obviously avoiding contact with others. Asking an associate for directions to an item or department, then proceeding in the opposite direction. Asking an associate unusual questions about merchandise. Removing security tags. Peeling off price stickers. Constantly looking at security cameras. Ducking down and out of employees’ or cameras’ view. Uninterested in shopping. Repeatedly picking up random items with no interest and putting them back. Selecting multiple merchandise at a high rate of speed and not checking prices or sizes. Wandering around store, handling items, lingering here and there, without doing any real shopping. Removing merchandise from one department and depositing it in another, then walking away; creating a depository of merchandise for a later theft. Removing hangers from clothes for no apparent reason. Double hanging clothes. Placing clothing inside of other clothing. Hiding merchandise behind other merchandise. Carrying large seemingly empty purses, bags, or back packs. Placing purse/bag opened in the child seat area of the shopping cart. Large or open purses and shopping bags carried on the arm or shoulder. Handling of bags, backpacks, at the same time glancing around. Carrying a shopping bag from a store that is not in the same shopping center. Carrying items around the store then going into out-of-the-way areas. Constantly walking into a hidden area (Blind Spot) from the view of security. Entering a store empty handed and staring at the Returns desk. Removing a crumpled receipt from their pocket, matching to items on shelf. Suddenly walks quickly to an exit without making a purchase. Opening a wallet and showing cash, in attempt to alleviate suspicion. Wears bulky, heavy clothing during warm weather or coats when unnecessary. Wearing baggy or oversized cloths, hoodies and backpacks. Wearing sunglasses in the store. Caring umbrellas or wearing fake casts. Pushing wheelchairs, and baby strollers. Enters a dressing room or rest rooms with merchandise and then exits with nothing. Repeatedly sends sales staff away by asking for other sizes or colors or distract you with constant chatter. Quickly enter change rooms with a large number of clothes, so staff are not able to check the number of items taken. Backing into a parking space. Leaving the trunk of the car cracked. Leaving another person in the car or at the front of the store. A group entering a store at the same time and then splitting up or come in the same car but enter the store at different times.

(first off, i had a thyroid which had to be removed due to autoimmune thyroid disease. second off, it’s physically impossible to live without a thyroid/supplements.)

“I totally know how you feel”, “I’m shy too sometimes”, “You just need to relax”, “omg I bet you’re super organised! Sometimes I wish I had an anxiety disorder so I could be less lazy!”