It Begins Here..
Over thinking sometimes lead me to bad decisions. It makes me see the outcome of something that hasn't even come. I began to become a pessimist rather than be positive of everything. In my world, the people who are close to me dies. In my world, everyone shouldn't be trusted. You might not know, the people who used to be your companion, me be the one who will lead you to your own death. It has been like that. I always see images of people getting killed, be it by accident or by someone. It scares me sometimes knowing that I always see myself in such situation, begging, crying, mourning. But sometimes...sometimes.. I see myself as the murderer. Images of blood gushing down to a corpse body, the eyes in which would never close is staring at me... It has been like that. Everytime I think of it scares me.. it gives shiver to my body. As the time comes, flashes of dead people always cross my mind. Until I gave up. I finally gave up. I accepted defeat. That's when I started to feel nothing. I might get scared of other things.. but death is an exception. I started to like death. I started to get thirsty of blood, corpse, body, flesh.... the chills that I am feeling is not because of how creepy it is to see death. But because of how my mind is working on its own. I feel like a different person when i imagine things like that.. like a monster inside a girls body. Creepy? Well... it is. But as time pass by,I came to realize that it is just imagination. I am not scared of death but rather.. I am scared of myself. Of what my mind would think and what my body would follow. I guess its my fault why I became like this. I began to entertain those imaginations too well that it leads me to trouble sometimes. Overthinking could control my being. It could control my emotions and decisions. Which is why I regret the things that cross my mind.
