OnTheFritz

I am very sad I feel very alone and I wish a car would hit and kill me already

Honestly back and forth with how much I hate my life, what its become, and this dude.. to trying to be hopeful and positive and wanting to love him. He breaks my heart, but I cant tell if it's me being too sensitive or him just being an asshole. We get into really heated arguments that leave me wondering who I am and if I'm even happy. We've been together for awhile now, but at times I feel so apathetic and cant break the funk. I feel bad, but sometimes I feel it's warranted. Like I want to push him away because it doesnt seem like this is healthy or good for me anymore. He tells me really terrible negative things about myself and my family. It hurts a lot, but he never chooses kinder words.. doubt he even feels remorse. I never give myself time to heal and I never feel like we come to a compromise. It's just him doing what he wants and me sticking with it , but I feel so stupid. I am growing farther and farther away from myself. I don't even feel like he cares about me anymore. I feel used and I don't know 2hat tip do how tp get out