Untitled Life

What is love?

What actually love is?

If I'm happy to be with you could I name it love?

What if I hate you to be with someone else actually means I love you?

Love is hate

A term people always use in their life to tell their feeling.

Sincerely or not all.

Sometimes people faking it.

But what actually love is?

Love is nowhere, but it also anywhere.

I hate you could mean I love you in different perspective.

Loving someone or something sometimes makes us sacrificing and bleeding.

Love is hate.

Love is falling and hurting.

I thought he is warm

I was wrong

I thought he is hard

I was wrong

I thought he is bitter

I was wrong

I thought he couldn't melt

I was wrong

I thought I was the only one who's loving

I was totally wrong

I thought I'm not good enough

He proved me wrong

He is the ice cream I've been looking for

I was blind, at first I thought I wasn't

The one who convince me that heaven does exist

Where is heaven then?

Inside him

Not all people could find it

Only to the person he wanted to

He is him

A cute debater for my silly thoughts

When I saw him, I feel loved

He is him

The person I adore so much

The person I expect to be the last

The person I want to be hold

The person I want to sleep with

He is him

Funny older brother, him

Mature best friend, him

Lovely boyfriend, him

I adore him

He is him

Black.

White.

Grey.

Navy.

Red.

In any ways.

An empty heart.

An empty mind.

An empty stomach.

A bare face.

A no-one to hold.

Do you know what it feels when it comes to the time when you sit alone, with pen in your hand, and a blank paper to write your thoughts while rain comes to pour the memory down to the earth?

Cold. Well of course, it's raining. But, either the heart, feels it too.

Freezing. Numb. It's like the time stops, and you just confused.

Confused of what to write.

Write the feels? No, of course not.

Thoughts? It might be, but... rain just hold my mind and bring me back to the time when things weren't right. And I don't want to.

Rain have so many ways to drag people out of the reality. Me is one of them.

Hati bakal nuntun kamu ke muaranya. Dimana hati akan bertemu dengan hati yang dikehendakinya, dan kalo memang udah takdirnya ditemukan, pasti bakal ketemu.

Bisa jadi hati yang dpertemukan saat ini adalah hati yang benar2 di kehendaki. Tapi bisa juga hati yang sekarang bersama cuma jadi jembatan menuju hati yang sebenernya dibutuhkan. Bisa juga hati yang sekarang berdampingan cuma jadi pembelajaran untuk menemukan hati yang lain, yang lebih baik.

Gloomy not gloomy.

Sorry not sorry.

Sorrow in the face of joy.

It turns darker than I thought.

She asked me about why and what.

I answered her the reason.

She told me when and where.

I thought about you.

A thing happened for a reason.

11-12-17

2.35am

"Is there something that can make you laugh even when you're in a bad day? Like, your pain killer or smth?"

"My pain killer? Oh, do you mean ice cream?"

"why ice cream?"