little dempsey

THE TAPES.  learning about them should have brought some ease to her erratic thoughts,  but all it had given her was more questions,  more worries,  and more hurt.   part of her wanted to drown in the delight of knowledge that she had not driven them all away.   their distance  -  while admittedly painful  -  hadn’t been her fault.  the larger part of her was furious,   burning anger bubbling in her stomach as she realized the secrets they kept were far more dangerous than the distance they had kept her at.   there was also a sickening twist of disappointment and distrust.   they were her friends  and one her older brother.   they were supposed to be there for each other,   but they had left her ALONE.   they tossed her to the side because of their own selfish desire to protect themselves.   ( but wasn’t she selfish?   to be so mad that they hadn’t told her.   that they hadn’t trusted her to keep their secret.   that they had left her by herself when she had always known they were zach’s friends;   not hers. )   

SHE TRIED.   she wanted to hate them  -  even her older brother that she thought the world of  -  but she couldn’t. being upset for keeping their dark secrets would have been hypocritical.   she had secrets of her own,   didn’t she? things zach didn’t even know about  -  things she didn’t want him to ever know about.  disappointment still evident, may dempsey is no quitter.   she is there for the ones she loves  and  she loves all of them even if they weren’t honest with her  -  even if they had unconsciously made her feel overwhelmed by loneliness.  the only thing she can do is be there for them as everything they had tried so hard to keep together unraveled before their very eyes.

   sleep weighs down coherent thought as she stirs in her position,  dark locks draping messily over her shoulders and falling in front of bleary doe irises.  her hand reaches to sweep the waves away from her sight before moving to rub sleep from her gaze as she looks to her brother.  “zach?”  she questions in a sleepy mumble,  squinting as she lifts herself into a sitting position.   “why are you waking me up right now?”

    lips press together in stubborn silence,   chocolate gaze relentless as it trains on the other cheerleader.  but when something is bothering may,   there’s no withholding the discontent that boils in her stomach,  threatening to overflow from her lips ( only if it’s toward her mother can she swallow the hot coals of thoughts that wanted to escape. )  her mouth parts as a sigh breezes past,  fingers shifting long dark locks from her vision as she tries to distract herself from what she’s about to say.  she has to act casual.  “no,  i guess not,”   she huffs quietly,  pausing before she can push past the sudden anxiousness that begins sprouting.  “but,   i feel like there’s something going on that i don’t know about. -- everyone’s been acting really strange lately.”

 gentle footsteps guide her to the stairs.  may isn’t sure what time it is,  but she knows it’s late ( probably an hour her mom wouldn’t approve of her being awake. )   descending the steps takes longer as she makes a determined effort to remain quiet,   hoping no one else finds her scurrying in the darkness of the house.  she isn’t so lucky when she reaches the bottom and a voice unexpectedly sounds,  small squeak leaving her lips as her body jerks upward in surprise.  she takes a moment to calm the erratic beating in her chest as dark brown irises glide to gaze at the culprit. “i can’t sleep,”  her voice tumbles from her lips in a whisper in response.