※ JENNA MARBLES SENTENCE STARTERS, PT. XIV ※
starters from jenna’s 10 most recent videos! feel free to change names/pronouns/zodiac signs/etc.! more jenna sentences
I LET MY DOGS WALK ME FOR A DAY
“Please tell me this says ‘I love Hong Kong’ and not ‘I love’ something real inappropriate.”
“I don’t know where I am.”
“I feel like I’m on the surface of the moon, because I don’t know what day it is, or where I am.”
“I feel like I don’t have a choice today, do I?”
“Not that I know what fucking time it is, anyways.”
“Did you step on a bee yesterday?”
“Are you excited to sit here and watch?”
“Stop crying, we’re here!”
“Hi, my dogs want to come to your house, is that okay?”
“She’s too insecure to pick.”
“You have a lot of choices, baby girl.”
“Stop, I’m trying to sneeze!”
“Well, now we know why they came this way.”
“What you can’t see can’t hurt you.”
“I’m not a very spontaneous person. I like to plan.”
“We’re going directly back to where we just came from.”
“I don’t think that’s the point of that.”
“Why are we standing in the road?”
“There’s no rhyme or reason to what we’re doing.”
“I guess we’re just gonna stand here for a while.”
“We’ve abruptly stopped. Why? I don’t know.”
“Maybe they’re just dumb.”
“He’s really on a mission right now.”
“I feel kinda bad that I underestimated him.”
“He’s scared of nothing and everything at the same time.”
“We’re gonna seem a little creepy here… any time you wanna keep moving…”
“I legitimately don’t even know where we are.”
“He doesn’t give a fuck about them.”
“That looks like a good place to go, fam.”
“Stop casing the house…!”
“There’s an awful lot of bees in this particular area.”
“You’re not getting stung by a bee two days in a row.”
“That’s so dumb. That’s like the dumbest shit ever.”
“I feel jet lagged and out of my mind.”
“Are you guys proud of yourself?”
“I guess this is what we’re gonna do now.”
MY BOYFRIEND TEACHES ME JIU JITSU 3
“Purple stands for punishing them perpetrators.”
“This is not the sport for me. I’m not good at it, I don’t enjoy it.”
“I don’t like this outfit. I feel like I’m gonna go play in the snow.”
“This isn’t a sport, this is violence.”
“I’m a threat. I’m a threat.”
“I told you I was threatening.”
“My plan has been foiled.”
“What is sexual about me being in pain?”
“It hurts so bad, everything hurts.”
“I thought I was gonna learn today.”
“I have control, okay? I have control.”
“Why do you do everything so slow?”
“We’re in class, you can’t just stop…!”
“I don’t know a lot, but I know that that’s not correct.”
“The neighbors are gonna call the cops!”
“Will you teach me how to do that stupid-ass somersault that you guys do?”
“No, we’re still training!”
“There’s sweat on your forehead that’s gonna drip on me.”
“Why would I ever pay money to go and get someone else’s sweat in my face?”
“Why are you pretending to have a sexy dream?”
“You did it, but, like, it was so weird and bad.”
“If you scream, I’m gonna stop.”
“I thought you played a college sport.”
“We didn’t go over this yet. It can’t be on the test, it’s not fair.”
“I’m a delicate flower, why would you do that?”
“Absolutely never do that again.”
“It was a joke! It was a joke! It was a joke! It was a joke! It was a fucking joke!”
“Where am I going? Where am I going??”
“What the fuck kind of sick sport is this?”
“You think that you can just make fun of me?”
“What’re you gonna do now? What’re you gonna do?”
“I just don’t think you’re applying yourself.”
“Now you’re just gonna make me a hostage.”
“I’m never gonna stick with it.”
“Thank you, but also, like, go fuck yourself.”
“It’s not a sport. It’s a sick pain torture game for sick people who like to do sick shit.”
WHAT’S THE BEST MASCARA TO CRY IN
“Which ones are the absolute butt worst?”
“Which ones are gonna give you the “I’m having a mental breakdown right now” look in ten seconds or less?”
“I wanna know the worst of the worst.”
“We all cry in mascara, it happens.”
“A tiger comes out of nowhere — just starts mauling people.”
“Later on, in the middle school dance, I will lock myself in the bathroom and fucking cry.”
“It all goes down in the bathroom.”
“I’m crying because I wasn’t dancing, cause no one asked me to dance.”
“He asked a girl to a dance in middle school and he showed up in his P.E. clothes.”
“It’s not the full meltdown I was looking for.”
“I’m ready to puff my chest up and cry.”
“What did I spend my money for?”
“I still think we can do better.”
“I can’t open this, honestly.”
“The remix we didn’t know we needed.”
“That’s what the fuck I’m talking about.”
“I got drunk and now I’m sitting on the ground.”
“My mom never learned about nutrition.”
“I’m having a breakdown in the grocery store.”
“I think I’m gonna get a pint of Haagen-Dazs and watch Step Up 2 The Streets alone tonight.”
“This is like watching a half hour montage of those dogs when their Army parents come home.”
“What about this is dramatic? Absolutely nothing.”
“You know what’s better than sex? Crying.”
“I have a lot of feelings, but they’re not for me, and they’re kind of fake.”
“It’s like a watercolor of pain.”
“You know who cries in gold? Oprah.”
“I hope this has done you any sort of service whatsoever.”
“Are you calling me a lizard person?”
MY BOYFRIEND GUIDES ME THROUGH A MAKEUP TUTORIAL
“How bad are you at communication with your significant other?”
“You’re looking down and away from me, which makes me feel like you’re lying and hiding something.”
“Oh, shit, that sounds so wrong.”
“I’m just a normal person, I don’t have loads of makeup sitting around.”
“I don’t know what I was expecting, but okay.”
“You have to use your words and describe them to me.”
“Sharp isn’t a description of length. Or direction.”
“Imagine all the work you could be getting done if you didn’t yell at me right now.”
“I’m unfamiliar with that practice.”
“It’s supposed to be yellowish orange, so if it’s just straight orange, then it’s the wrong color.”
“What you have on your face is not right. It’s not right at all.”
“I’m just making observations — it doesn’t look right.”
“Just cake on some orange, call it a day.”
“Look at me. Look at me. Look at me.”
“This is so fucking hard.”
“It looks fucking great.”
“I’m learning my makeup terms, okay?”
“Oh my god, we’re getting there.”
“Please get your feet away from me.”
“I’m struggling and I’m hot right now.”
“There’s like five other, ten other steps.”
“It’s your ‘scara, not ma’scara.”
“That looks pretty close? It’s hard to tell, man, I don’t know…”
“You just completed a popping summer makeup tutorial.”
“I understand why that’s so hard to describe.”
“Why would you do this to yourself?”
“Technically, you nailed everything.”
“What we’re not gonna do is pick up my belongings.”
TEACHING MY DOGS HOW TO SWIM
“It was so not funny at the time. It’s very funny now.”
“There’s no better time to start than now.”
“We have one of those, we just haven’t installed it yet.”
“If y’all are asking if I’m really gonna wear all these clothes in the pool, the answer is yes.”
“I don’t feel like hearing it today.”
“You can’t skip swim lessons, dude.”
“That’s my necklace that I care deeply about.”
“He will do anything to not get in the water.”
“Why haven’t we done this sooner?”
“It makes me feel kind of dumb, honestly.”
“I don’t know why I didn’t think of this before.”
“He doesn’t need to enjoy swimming.”
“She’s the one we don’t have to worry about.”
“We just have to worry about Kermit. All the time. Every day.”
“All you guys are in lifejackets. You look dumb.”
GIVING MY MAN THE HAIR HE DESERVES
“I wanted to do something really nice for him.”
“I am ready for a challenge.”
“I’m not gonna do it the right way - I’m gonna do it how I wanna do it.”
“In this house, we do what we want.”
“You are an angel sent from heaven.”
“Welcome to the world, bitch.”
“I’m gonna piss you off.”
“This is clearly not a good plan, but I’m also kind of lazy.”
“I just wanna do the fun parts without any of the ridiculous work parts.”
“Just cover it in mustard and call it a day.”
“I’m not doing anything wrong.”
“Gimme that head, bitch, I’m here to make your dreams come true.”
“It’s gonna take a while, but it’s gonna be worth it.”
“This is why you don’t do it like this.”
“I did all this for you, Julien…! You deserve it!”
“Everybody asked for this!”
“We didn’t brush my hair for eleven days.”
“When we got back to my mom’s house, she was fucking pissed.”
“It is now the moment you all have asked for.”
“You look amazing so far.”
“This is the best money I’ve ever spent.”
“You look like the most fashion-forward hick I have ever seen.”
“I don’t know where to go from here.”
“Who said you could come here?”
“Don’t take things and leave them where they don’t belong.”
“This is fun. I like this one.”
“Did you just break your glasses?”
“Back off ladies, I’m hers.”
“Okay, fine, I’ll go to my room.”
A VIRGO AND AN ARIES MAKE CANNOLIS
“Astrology is bullshit and you should date who you want.”
“There’s no way there’s a vegan and gluten free cannoli.”
“Leave it to Pinterest, bitch.”
“You ready to make some greatness?”
“This is what it’s like.”
“You’re a lot. I love you. You’re a lot to love.”
“You don’t have to stir things with your finger. You can use a utensil or a spoon…”
“It’s possible if you believe.”
“You just ripped it off and threw it.”
“We’re not ready for that yet.”
“This better work. I want cannolis.”
“That’s not how baking works, I don’t think.”
“This is what I’m doing right now.”
“I’m just gonna take these out for science.”
“I’m glad that got on my hand and not on my shirt.”
“Which one do you want me to throw out?”
“It could be worse. At least it’s sticking together.”
“I have so many concerns…”
“Wait, how do I get this off?”
“It’s stuck on there forever.”
“You almost knocked that glass off the counter with a deep fryer.”
“The amount that are just failing shows how fucking hard this is.”
“It’s like my nightmare every time.”
“I’m too lazy to put powdered sugar on it, but that’s what you would do.”
“It tastes fucking good.”
“Why are you gripping my wrist?”
“Thank you for letting me be in your kitchen.”
“What did anyone ever do to you?”
JUST TRYING TO BLEND IN WITH MY GREEN SCREEN
“Hi, welcome to me time.”
“I just wanna fucking disappear.”
“Just gimme some peaceful ass me time.”
“Does me time look fun to you? Because it is. That’s why it’s me time.”
“I’m excited about this progress, I think that this is fun.”
“Get out of here. No. You’re ruining my me time.”
“I’m here, but, like, not here.”
“This looks normal, right?”
“Imagine if someone just showed up here and I was just doing this.”
“I painted my face green. I’m ready to party.”
“Little do they know, my whole face is broken.”
“Wait, what have I done?”
“Oh, you’re gonna make nightmare fuel, aren’t you?”
“You untie that right now!”
“This is the worst thing I’ve ever seen.”
“Don’t expose me like this.”
“This is exactly what I wanted.”
“That is not what I look like. That is not what I look like!”
“I’m here to fight crime, but, sadly, one day, I will become an alcoholic.”
“How come y’all don’t invite me to anything.”
“The darkness will swallow you whole.”
“That was it. You just cover yourself in green paint.”
“I just wanted to do this cause it’s fun.”
“I just like putting on bald caps and becoming nothing.”
FOLLOWING A BOB ROSS PAINTING TUTORIAL
“I’m actually gonna try and make this a beautiful painting.”
“That’s literally what you asked for.”
“For my understanding, no one really knows what that is.”
“TV off, go outside, play on a swingset, and shut up.”
“He’s a calming, warming, positive presence in a world full of chaos.”
“I bought these in a pack for, like $5.”
“It’s making me nervous, because… I’m just nervous in general.”
“Leave it alone? Leave it alone. Leave it alone? Leave it alone.”
“I’m getting sweaty from the art fear.”
“I will beat the devil in an appropriate place and not ruin my floors.”
“Did — did - did that help?”
“No, I see nothing, all the time.”
“He just makes it look so easy and beautiful.”
“Oh my god, that is so aesthetically pleasing.”
“How is he doing that so fast?”
“I have managed to ruin almost everything in this entire room.”
“It’ll drip onto the wall and that’ll become a part of the art.”
REACTING TO COMPILATION VIDEOS OF ME 5
“Sometimes universities just ask me to come and talk to their confused students about what it feels like to become a confused adult.”
“I like sitting back and watching things on the Internet, how about you?”
“That is terrifying like that.”
“Is this an iMovie thing that I don’t know about?”
“It’s not my fault, I try my best!”
“Yeah, just blame it on the brush…”
“That’s a lot of work - I appreciate that.”
“Thank you for understanding that my ears bleed when I listen to him.”
“That’s not what the fuck I look like.”
“I’ve never seen you both in the same place.”
“Thank you for showing me how much I fucked up.”
“This is actually really scary.”
“If I watched that at night, alone, I’d be scared…”
“You’re all of the Plastics.”
“No. No. No. No! The answer is no!”
“I never even thought of it like that, and now it’s ruined forever for me.”
“I am sorry for making this.”
“Why does this work so well?”
“Fuck, stop, I’m scared…!”
“Holy fuck that was scary.”
“That was way too fucking much and don’t ever do it again.”
“Someone made it for you.”
“Not gonna lie, but I cried.”
“Don’t do that ever again.”
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