how do i continue with myself
i have problems, im not unaware i need to work on myself
i keep thinking i have done the work and find out as im losing all sense of reality that i have not
every time im given a chance to prove ive learned something i take that opportunity and i spit in its face
im constantly disappointed by my own actions yet i keep doing things exactly the same
its not as if i forget these actions are wrong and hurtful while im doing them
i lose all care, i lose all hope for better, in myself and you.
how can two who love each other so much become so cold and cruel
both with their own set of defenses
both with their own guilt because they know they’ve caused pain to the other
how could i blame you for any of it
most times i think you are wonderful and kind and loving and the most ideal person to spend the rest of my life with
but then how could i possibly think that when you have hurt me so much
and thats when i speak badly of you, either to you or to others
how do i live with myself knowing the hurtful things i have continued to say
how could i have let myself endure this treatment unless i truly believed it wasnt on purpose
how could i think im worthy of your happiness when i have caused you so much pain
how could i possibly think i ever gave you the space to voice it
how could i not be understanding since i was affected by ur unintentional actions
i mean it when i say i have learned much about loving and caring for someone
unfortunately i learned i dont know how to do it enough for myself to give it to someone else yet
you will forever mean the world to me
2087
jbbartram-illu
kianamaiart
tangentwithtanner
blakekathryn
dededos
germansingergirl
