Inspirational

Create. Love. Imagine. Explore.

Why must I be like this? Is this my personality? Why am I the person that I am? I shut people out. I cause havoc in my own life and in that of others. I cause distress in every situation. I provide problems to everyone. Everything I do has a negative impact. I feel like I cannot do anything right, and, as a result, I become numb to others around me and I shut other people out. I know I should be doing the exact opposite, but I do not have the strength to portray my feelings out loud to the people I love. I am hurting them at the cost of my own selfishness and I feel there is nothing I can do about it because I am weak and undeserving of my own help. I need love and compassion, but I fear to demand it. I crave attention, but I fail to seek it. I desire knowledge and individuality, but I am simply another number on the mass of the planet, of no particular value or importance. I cannot escape the malevolent thoughts that torment my mind. 

I decided to start this blog as an update for myself. I find that I often forget about my past and the idea of not remembering vital aspects of my youth once I am older terrifies me. I hope that this blog is discovered by someone and that it provides them with some sort of inspiration. I am on a voyage of discovering my own self, which is someone I no longer wish to be. I wish that my words were of value and that my life had a purpose. In reality, I feel stranded and uncertain and alone with my thoughts. I want my life to have meaning. I want to inspire somebody, today and everyday. I want to love, to learn, and to be happy, and I struggle in these aspects of my life.