Julia

Leonardo

The scream he lets out when he sees you shove Splinter is gut-wrenching. He realizes instantly what you’ve done.

He ran forward to your body, completely abandoning his usual leader’s focus. There was nothing in that moment that could bother him expect you. Not the Shredder on the roof, not other brothers scream, not even the fact that someone could hear or see them. All his leadership and plans, all his duty…it all crumbled to ash in that single moment.

“Sister—!!”

His knees slam against the floor beside you, hands shaking so badly he almost doesn’t know where to hold you— shoulders? Arms? Anywhere but the wound.

Leo’s entire identity is being the protector. The leader. The one who keeps his family safe. But now? Now his little sister’s blood is on his hands. He’s convinced he’s failed the one thing he was meant to do. He couldn’t protect you.

“…Sister?”

It was a whisper, maybe a prayer in some way. Leonardo’s pupils dilate, as his heart begins to shatter. He was no longer the leader. He was just a brother, watching his little sibling’s breathless body.

Leo sits with his head bowed toward you, lifting your neck with trembling hands and frantically trying to feel anything that can be sign that you’re still with them, even though he knows

He whispers, almost begs, but his voice cracks.

“I’ve got you, it’s okay, it’s okay, it’s okay…”

The moment he realised that you’re gone, he feels that the world is spinning around him. The sound of screams fade. The battle noise dies. The only sound is his own ragged breathing and your absent one.

Memories. They come into his head one after another. How you two spent time together, how you was the only one who voluntarily watched Space Heroes with him, how he tried to teach you some meaningful Japanese words, even tho you never actually learned them...

He looks at you as all this moments flash in his head, again and again. His eyes finally fill with tears.

All this things are never gonna happen again. Not with you.

He doesn’t go near your room for days. When he finally does, he stands in the doorway, staring at the little things you left behind.

A sketch on the desk. An old comics on the bed that’s still opened on some page. It feels frozen in time, like you’ll walk in any moment. He closes his eyes and whispers:

“I’m sorry, sister. I’m so, so sorry.”

He forces himself back into training with a brutality that scares even Raph. Blades blur in his hands, sweat stings his eyes, his body ache but he doesn’t stop.

‘I’ll keep them safe. I swear it. I’ll keep them safe for you.’

Leo thinks if he gets strong enough, fast enough, disciplined enough —maybe he’ll never fail like this again.

The others grieve loud. Raph smashes things, Donnie buries himself in the lab, Mikey cries. But Leo? He’s quiet. Haunted.

He bottles everything because if he breaks, he’s terrified the whole team will fall apart.

And the only thing he thinks about is... a new plan. How to finally put an end to a monster that haunts his family

…Yes, it's bad. Master Splinter said a lot of times that this is not a solution to the problem. But oh gods, revenge will be sweet

Donatello

Donnie has always been protective of you in his own way, even if it doesn’t come across as loudly as Raph or Leo. He’s the worrier. The one who checks your gear twice, the one who asks if you’re sure you’re ready.

So when you shove Splinter out of the way and take the killing blow from Super Shredder, Donnie’s whole world crushes in second.

He doesn’t react right away. His brain stalls. His body is already moving before his mind even catches up to what happened.

Donnie’s on the ground with you instantly, muttering “No no no no— stay with me, you hear me?—” as if this words can hold you together. His hands are slick with your blood, shaking uncontrollably.

Even when it’s clear you’re gone, he still tries. He refuses to accept it. But when you go limp in his arms, something inside him just stops.

Donnie’s grief is raw and ugly. He screams, not like his usual angry shouts, but a broken, guttural cry.

The worst part? The what ifs. Donnie is tortured by them. What if he’d been next to you on the rooftop? If he’d built better armour? If he’d gotten there a second faster? If he’d… prevent it?

‘…I’m sorry, sis. I should’ve been smarter. Smarter was supposed to save you.’

Nights are the worst. He replays it again and again, always seeing the way you shoved Splinter and took the blow.

He has nightmares where he’s the one standing there frozen while you’re struck down. Sometimes he wakes up in the lab, passed out over blueprints with your name written in the margins.

Donnie carries your weapon, gear or something you left behind in his lab. He can’t bring himself to move it. It’s not just a keepsake. It’s a constant reminder.

Sometimes, when no one’s around, he talks to it. Updates you about his work. About your brothers. Pretends you’re still listening.

He never forgets about that night. After ages, even if they win the war, Donnie will still think ‘You should be here, with us.’

Raphael

His roar is so raw, it’s louder than he’s ever shouted in his life.

When it’s over and Shredder’s retreated, he runs to you from the rooftop. His body moves before his brain catches up. Each step fueled by panic, his chest tightening so bad he can hardly breathe.

Raph slides to his knees beside you, hands trembling as they hover over you, scared to touch, scared to hurt worse.

He grips your wrist as if you’re gonna wake up from it, his thumb brushing over your skin so gently it doesn’t even feel like Raph.

“No, no, no—don’t you do this to me, don’t you dare!” he growls, but his voice cracks halfway, turning into something desperate.

His breath is ragged, chest heaving, eyes wild and already burning. The tough brother who never cries…now he’s shaking.

Raph’s eyes sting but he refuses to blink, not letting the tears fall. He just leans closer, whispering through gritted teeth:

“C’mon tiny, wake up. You always bounce back. Don’t— don’t do this to me”

His guilt eating him alive. He should have been fast enough to grab you, should have been the shield, should have protected his baby sister.

“Please…I can’t lose you. Not you”

Unlike Donnie, Raph doesn’t stay in denial for long. He feels the life leave you, and the reality punches him so hard he can’t control anything no more. He cradles you against him, his head bent down, tears burning his eyes. For once, Raph doesn’t care who sees him cry.

Afterward, his grief turns toxic. He’s furious that you were the one who paid the price. Raph is angry at everyone. Splinter for being the one you saved. Donnie for not saving you in time. Leo, for not preventing it… And himself, most of all.

He feels like he failed his role as your big brother. That’s the thought that eats him alive. He replays that moment constantly, imagining ways he could’ve shoved you aside, blocked the strike and etc.

Raph’s grief makes him reckless in battle. He takes stupid risks, throws himself into fights with no regard for his own safety. Part of him doesn’t care if he makes it out alive. Another part hopes that maybe, if he fights hard enough, he can somehow honor you.

The only thing that eventually grounds him is his brothers. He sees how broken they are too and how much they need him.

That protective streak that you shared with him? It doesn’t go away. Your death makes him double down. Now, he refuses to let anyone else die on his watch.

‘Never again. I’ll never let it happen again.’

To him, your death will be a vow. He’ll never forgive himself, but he’ll fight until his last breath to make sure it wasn’t for nothing.

Michelangelo

Mikey was the most open with his love for you. He said it all the time. “You’re the best, sis!” “Wouldn’t trade you for ten pizzas!” “Don’t ever leave me, okay?” It was always playful, always light. He never thought he’d have to mean it with his whole heart.

So when you shove Splinter out of the way and Shredder’s strike lands on you, Mikey is the loudest one to scream. His voice breaks into something raw and childlike, so loud it could be heard on the rooftop.

At first, he doesn’t even move. His mind refuses to process it. You lying there. For once, the world tilts sideways, and he feels like he’s suddenly so small and powerless.

He runs to you, sliding to his knees, hands hovering frantically. His voice is trembling so hard the words barely come out. He’s gasping, begging you to stay.

“No no no—don’t— don’t do this! You’re okay, you’re okay…”

He takes your hand and presses it to his cheek, whispering every silly memory he can think of. The pranks you pulled together, the times you protected him, the nights you stayed up playing video games until the sunrise…

When the truth finally hits, Mikey’s heart feels like it cracks down the middle. The first drops of the tears are finally flowing down

“Sis…”

He clutches you to his chest, rocking back and forth, his tears soaking into your clothes. He doesn’t even care that the battle is still raging. In that moment, his world is only you.

Afterward, Mikey spirals in a different way. He becomes… quieter. Not immediately, and not in front of the others.

At first he tries to force himself to be the same Mikey, to keep making jokes and to keep their spirits up. But it just… doesn’t work like it used to.

He starts sneaking off to be alone more than anyone notices. He doesn’t want them to see him crying. He doesn’t want them to know how broken he feels. But he cries himself to sleep most nights, curled up in his room with something of yours clutched in his arms. A bracelet or a piece of paper with some sketch.

The survivor’s guilt crushes him. You should’ve had more time. Why was it you instead of anyone? He replays the moment again and again.

He carries that weight quietly. His brothers notice he hugs them more often, clings a little longer. He’s terrified of losing them too. Sometimes he sneaks into their rooms at night just to make sure they’re still there.

In battle, Mikey fights harder than ever. Not so reckless like Raph, just desperate

He never truly stops talking to you. He’ll whisper to the air when no one’s around

“Hey sis, did you see that? Nailed that flip!”

Or

“…You’d have loved this pizza combo.”

Or when he’s hurting:

“Wish you were here… I really need you right now.”

The grief doesn’t make him darker. It makes him softer, more fragile in ways others didn’t expect. They find him sometimes just staring at the stars, quiet tears on his cheeks, and when they ask, he just says “I was telling her about my day.”

But one thing never changes: Mikey still loves you loudly. He makes sure no one forgets you. He tells stories about you, laughs about the fun times, keeps your memory alive. Because if he stops talking about you, he’s afraid the others will forget.

Deep down, he never heals. The wound scabs over, but it never closes.