Summary: In which you and Neteyam are courting, but Tuk seems to take up more and more of your attention despite knowing that her brother was soon to be your mate.
a/n: I was inspired by someone on here, but I forgot their tag 😓
You and Neteyam have been stuck to each other for as long as you can remember. From the moment the two of you could crawl to meeting his youngest siblings to completing the Iknimaya together—everyone could see the pathway Eywa set for the both of you. So it was no surprise that Neteyam began to officially court you the second you both became of age.
Ever since then, you were even more inseparable. Well, maybe expect for your duties as tsakarem since it was clear that you would follow after his grandmother and mother. And whenever Tuk showed up, in a way you found rather cute, really.
As much as Neteyam loved you and you loved Neteyam, Tuk was a really close second to being your love. No matter what you were doing, if she could see you, she would immediately drop everything to be by your side and talk your ear off, typically earning a scolding from Neytiri.
To you, it was the most endearing thing ever. You were glad you were getting along with the youngest Sully, never having a little sister yourself. Most times, Tuk would refer to you as her best friend and bragged to everyone she could that she was your favorite—even when you and Neteyam were very clearly together.
Nevertheless, Neteyam—being the most patient Na’vi on Pandora—didn’t mind Tuk’s constant love for you most of the time . He knew how much his little sister admired you and everything you did, and who was he to tell her to back off and find a new friend?
Unfortunately, the other times where his patience wore thin were when his duties to train to be an Olo'eyktan with his father got to his head and all he wanted to do was be in your presence as it often calmed him—not you and his little sister.
It just so happened that today was one of those days.
Neteyam found you wandering the village with a woven basket to your hip, knowing your path was distinct in your head when your ears flickered in a specific pattern. He had just gotten back from a flight with his father and desperately wanted to see you, tail swishing behind him happily when you caught his gaze.
“Where are you off to?” He wrapped an arm around your waist loosely, kissing the side of your head while you grinned up at him with the smile that could melt him anytime.
“Teyam.” You say softly in recognition, letting yourself soften from his simple touch, your own tail swaying in giddiness. “I’m on my way to visit your family since I dropped some herbs off to your grandmother earlier, and I feel like I haven’t seen them in years.”
He scrunched his nose in amusement from your words and tilted his head, taking the basket gently to carry it for you. “You saw them this morning.”
“Same thing.” You wave him off with a flick of your hand and enter his home, smile widening when you see the youngest Sully daughter sitting with her sister that was attempting to teach her how to bead together a top—the older girl sighing when she saw you.
“Tuktuk!” You called out for the young girl, bending and holding your arms open for her to run into.
She called your name out in response, jumping into your arms as you caught her, spinning her around and around until she squealed for you to stop. You kiss her cheek and tuck her hair back, complimenting a new bead in her hair when you heard Neteyam clear his throat beside you—your eyes flickering to him in mild confusion.
“I don’t get that as much enthusiasm when you see me?” Neteyam frowned in a way you assumed was a teasing manner, making you pat his cheek.
“Hush.” You laugh softly before turning back to Tuk, her eyes shining with joy as she gained your attention once more, her tail whipping furiously behind her. “I missed you so so much, sweet girl!”
“I missed you too!” She giggled and looked away for a second, contemplating her next few words while you acknowledged the rest of her siblings.
Lo’ak rolled his at Tuk, giving you a faint smile but immediately began to complain about what his sister was going on and on about the entire day. “She kept whining about when we would see you again. She was all like, “When’s she coming over again?” “Can we visit grandma so we can see her?” and “Tell Neteyam to mate with her faster.””
The last comment made you and Neteyam burn bright purple, the words completely lost on Tuk but oh-so amusing to Kiri and Lo’ak when they heard their youngest sibling repeat the phrase several times. It got so bad that they physically had to cover her mouth when their mother did a quick check on them.
You were about to say something—asking the two of them why they hadn’t asked her to stop repeating the words—when Tuk tugged on your arm, finding the next big thing to bother you about while you were still here.
“Come! I have something to show you!” She dragged you out of the Sully home, away for her sibling’s sights.
Kiri watched in amusement as the flaps to the place flew, a teasing smile on her lips as she dropped her head in Neteyam’s direction. “She’s going to take her from you.”
Neteyam stared at the spot where you stood for a second, shaking his head and smiling weakly toward Kiri. He wasn’t too bothered by Tuk today… right?
“I’m just glad that they’re getting along.” He said almost flatly, causing Kiri to raise a brow at him.
Lo’ak snickered while he dodged a swipe from his brother, earning an eye roll from him as he reminded them of Tuk’s past shenanigans. “Remember there was entire week where Tuk wouldn’t let her go anywhere without her? She’s so protective of her.”
“I wonder why.” Kiri drawled in his direction, yelping when Lo’ak tugged at her tail. She furiously pushed his chest, making Neteyam sigh and pull them apart from each other as Kiri yelled at Lo’ak who was still making faces toward her. “Skxawng!”
Just then, the flap to their home opened, their mother entering with a sharp gaze because of the loud sounds she heard on her way over—the three of them looking at each other knowing they were caught. Well, mainly Lo’ak and Kiri.
“Enough.” Neytiri put a hand up and looked around the place, her ears tucking back when she couldn’t find her youngest daughter. “Where is Tuk?”
None of them spoke for a second, simply watching their mother clean the place up with a grace none of them could master just yet. It’s not like they how to pick up wooden toys and toss them into a basket while still looking like a woodsprite.
Neteyam was the first to speak, tilting his head with a fond look in his eyes as he revealed to her that Tuk was with you, his younger siblings looking at each other at their brother’s lovesick look.
Neytiri hummed, grabbing the basket you brought earlier and picking it up. She took the fine beads that were carefully wrapped on the inside before looking up at her eldest, a soft smile gracing her lips.
“Speaking of your future mate, she has Tsahìk training with your grandmother and I tomorrow morning.” She revealed, cupping his cheek and pinching it. “So no staying out late tonight with her. We need her up bright and early.”
Gagging and laughing could be heard from where Lo’ak and Kiri stood, their noises making their brother’s face flush, warmth flooding his face with embarrassment at his mother’s words. He couldn’t tell if that was what his mother was exactly insinuating, but it certainly what his siblings were.
“Mother.” Neteyam cleared his throat, pushing Neytiri’s hand away from him.
She clicked her tongue in his direction, shaking her head and giving him a look that told him that her and Jake were once like him and you long ago. “Are you not courting her?”
Neteyam feigned annoyance, eyes darting away from her knowing gaze as he spoke only to be cut off by the sibling who loved you just as much as he did.
“I am, but—“
“Mama!” Tuk shouts and jumps out of your arms, running up to her mother and hugging her tightly while you stumble slightly at the sudden movement.
Luckily, Neteyam caught you within seconds, his tail wrapping around your waist in protectiveness. You smiled softly before taking a step closer to him, your hand brushing with his before you laced them together, making him lift your joined hands and kissing your knuckles.
Lo’ak whistles at the action as he walked out of the home, earning an eye roll from Kiri. She simply sat back down on the woven mat and continued to bead together a top, still listening intently to the conversation without fail.
“What did I miss?” You ask with a smile, ears perked up and tail swishing behind you before it instinctively curled around Neteyam’s thigh, causing the boy’s cheeks to flush a darker purple than it already was.
“Nothing worth listening to.” Neteyam murmured against your hair, pressing another kiss to your temple before his voice dropped even lower to the point where only you could hear him. “Are we still going to the river tonight, yawntu?”
This time, your own cheeks flush a deep purple to match his, the end of your tail thumping on his thigh in an exultant manner. “Who would I be if I ever said no?”
“C’mon, let’s go! She’s probably waiting for us already!” Tuk dragged Neteyam by the arm as they walk through Pandora’s vast forest, her small legs doing her best to run while Neteyam did his best to hold onto her tightly, praying to Eywa that she wouldn’t trip or fall.
Lo’ak pulled a face and rolled his eyes at his younger sister, nudging Spider in amusement while Kiri gave him an unimpressed look. “Tuk, slow down. We won’t get there any faster if you twist your ankle and complain about the trip to the river.”
Now, Neteyam had no idea how Tuk found out that he was going to meet up with you at the river that evening. All Neteyam knew was that she threatened to tell their parents if he didn’t let her go with him to see you—but that didn’t include telling his siblings and apparently Spider. So the next thing he knew was that he was taking four others to your spot, each step diminishing his eagerness to see you.
Tuk stuck her tongue out at Lo’ak, only earning one from him as well before she saw you standing at the clearing by the river, her tail swishing energetically behind her in excitement. Tuk called out your name and your ears perked up at the voice in surprise as you thought you were only supposed to see Neteyam.
Turning around, your golden eyes found the Sully family—including Spider—approach where you stood, the youngest climbing over a large log hastily to get to you somewhat faster.
When they got close enough, you opened your arms for a hug that Neteyam thought was his, his own arms raised before you bent over and gathered Tuk in your arms. Neteyam froze with his arms still up, stunned ever so slightly before glaring at the three behind him who were stifling their laughter.
“Tuktuk!” You smothered her face in kisses—the ones Neteyam should’ve received. You admire her softly, knowing you saw her earlier during dinner but nonetheless offered her your compliments. “You look so pretty.”
“Not as pretty as you!” She giggled and held onto your neck tightly as you swayed back and forth, her eyes catching the new beaded top you wore. “You weren’t wearing that earlier.”
Your cheeks warm at her observation, your tail flicking behind you slightly before you shake your head knowing the top was supposed to be for Neteyam but she didn’t need to know that.
“I just wanted to try it on for once. Does it look good, Tuktuk?”
“So good!” She giggled again and began to ask millions of questions about the beads, the river, the different glowing plants—anything she could that would retain your attention for as long as she could have it.
Lo’ak punched his brother’s shoulder, now laughing quite loudly in Neteyam’s opinion. “Bro, you wish that was you.”
And before Neteyam could say something back, Kiri let her heart get the better of her, saving her older brother from getting ruthlessly poked and prodded by her other brother. And, unfortunately, saving Lo’ak from an earful—which she didn’t really care for.
“Tuk, come here. Let’s get you adjusted to the water so you can swim.” Kiri called Tuk over with a small smile in your direction, making the youngest Sully dramatically sigh and reluctantly leave your arms with an exaggerated pout.
You watched her to ensure she was safe in her sister’s arms before turning to Neteyam whose ears were flat with his tail swishing vigorously back and forth. You walked over to him and lead him away from the rest of the group, your eyes scanning his figure.
“What’s wrong, Teyam—?”
“You love Tuk more than me.” Neteyam interrupted, his tail now moving more fiercely as his gaze met yours. His golden eyes flickered with an emotion you thought was impossible for him to ever feel, amusement running through your veins.
“That’s not true.” You laugh with a shake of your head, cupping his cheeks gently as you spoke and thumbing the patterns decorating his face. “I love you and Tuk differently.”
Neteyam softens under your touch but still mutters in complaint about the attention you give his much younger sister, a pout settling on his lips that reminded you of said little sister. “But you just have to greet her first?”
“She’s my little baby!” You scoff with a teasing smile as he finally wraps his arms around your waist, your eyes gleaming with amusement. “You’re jealous, Neteyam. Of your own sister.”
“No.” He meets your eyes carefully before deciding to bury his head in your neck, mumbling against your skin in embarrassment. “No.”
“Mhm.” You grin and rub his back gently, ears perking up when you could hear his siblings shouting at each other before shaking your head, focusing your attention back to the Na’vi you loved with all your heart. “You shouldn’t lie to the person you’re courting, Teyam.”
“I hate you.” He groans and holds you flush against him, your tail wrapping around his leg naturally from the familiar position while his own tail found its home around your waist once more.
“No you don’t.” You laugh again and lightly pull him up from his spot in your neck, your golden eyes catching his—your eyes reflecting his beautiful face. “I see you, Neteyam te Suli Tsyeyk’itan. And I know I could never find anyone else like you.”
Neteyam looks between your eyes, his own eyes shimmering before he pressed his forehead against yours, meeting your lips with tenderness. “I see you too, yawntu.” He pressed another kiss to your lips before pulling away, forehead still against yours. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry.” You murmur, thumbing his bottom lip with a small smile. You peck his lips once more, gaze catching his. “It’s okay.”
“We’re not going to be able to sneak away, are we?” He mumbled as you begin to kiss every inch of his face, his hand finding the curve of your back.
You hum against his lips, pulling back ever so slightly to meet his blown eyes. “Not unless you want to lie.”
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
summary: In the listening forests of Pandora, Neteyam and the one he loves confront the tension between duty and desire, knowing their closeness is both a comfort and a risk. Bound by expectation and fear, they choose honesty and quiet defiance, holding onto each other in stolen moments. Even with their hands tied by fate, they keep dancing—together.
pairing: neteyam sully x na’vi!fem!reader
warnings: Emotional angst, canon-typical danger, fear of loss, emotional repression, duty vs desire conflict, implied forbidden relationship, pressure of expectations, soft heartbreak, ongoing emotional tension
a/n: i miss him so much it physically hurts
The forest always listened, even when you wished it wouldn’t.
Neteyam had taught you that long ago, during one of your earliest walks beyond the edge of the village, when your steps were still too loud and your breathing too shallow with nerves. He had shown you how Pandora remembered footsteps long after they faded, how the roots carried vibrations the way veins carried blood, and how Eywa held onto whispers whether you were ready for them to be heard or not.
Tonight, the bioluminescent glow along the forest floor pulsed softly beneath your feet, responding to your presence like a quiet heartbeat. Each step stirred light into motion, blues and greens blooming outward in gentle waves that made the forest feel alive in a way that was almost too intimate. It left you feeling exposed, as if the ground itself could sense the tension coiled tight in your chest.
Neteyam walked beside you with the kind of awareness that never truly turned off. His shoulders were squared, posture alert, head tilted ever so slightly as he listened to the forest beyond what youcould catch. His golden eyes scanned the shadows with ease, cataloging movement and sound even though there was no immediate threat. The warrior never rested—not really.
The hand wrapped around yours, however, betrayed him.
It was too tight, too grounding, as though he needed the contact to anchor himself to something solid. His thumb pressed into the back of your hand unconsciously, a steadying rhythm that suggested this moment—this fragile sliver of peace—was something he was afraid might slip away if he loosened his grip.
“You’re thinking too loud again,” you murmured, breaking the silence before it could grow heavy enough to suffocate you both. You glanced up at him, catching the faint crease between his brows that always appeared when responsibility weighed too heavily on him. “I can practically hear it.”
He huffed quietly, the sound almost a laugh, though it lacked its usual warmth. “You say that every time,” he replied, eyes still fixed on the path ahead.
“And every time, I’m right,” you answered, squeezing his hand gently in reassurance. Your thumb brushed against the calluses on his palm, worn smooth by years of training, bowstrings, and battle. The familiarity made your chest ache in a way that was equal parts comfort and fear. “You haven’t relaxed once since we left the village.”
Neteyam exhaled slowly, his gaze flicking toward the treetops before returning forward. The leaves above rustled faintly, glowing veins tracing patterns against the dark sky. “I can’t afford to,” he said after a moment, voice low and carefully controlled. “Not when everyone is watching. Not when every choice I make feels like it echoes farther than it should.”
You slowed your steps, tugging softly on his hand until he was forced to stop. The forest responded immediately, bioluminescence flaring brighter around you as if curious, as if aware that something important was unfolding. You turned to face him fully, refusing to let him hide behind motion or vigilance the way he so often did.
“Then look at me,” you said quietly, your voice steady despite the pounding of your heart. “Not the future olo’eyktan. Not the warrior everyone expects you to be. Just you.”
Neteyam hesitated, jaw tightening as if the request itself was dangerous. When he finally met your gaze, the intensity there nearly stole your breath. His eyes were sharp, brilliant, and far too tired for someone so young. “That’s exactly the problem,” he admitted, voice strained. “When I look at you, I forget who I’m supposed to be.”
The words settled between you like a confession neither of you had wanted to say aloud. Loving Neteyam had never been simple—not when he carried the legacy of Toruk Makto in his blood, not when the clan watched him like a promise yet to be fulfilled. Being close to him meant living beneath a quiet, constant tension, like a bow pulled tight and never released.
“We shouldn’t be here,” he continued, though he made no move to let go of you. His grip tightened instead, betraying the conflict warring inside him. “Not like this. Not alone.”
“We’re just walking,” you replied softly, though your heart raced with the unspoken truth beneath his words. “We’ve done that a hundred times.”
“That’s not what I mean,” he said, his voice dropping. “Every time we’re like this… it feels like tempting fate.”
You stepped closer, closing the small distance between your bodies until you could feel the warmth radiating from him. The forest seemed to hold its breath. “Maybe fate doesn’t need tempting,” you said gently. “Maybe it already knows.”
Neteyam swallowed, eyes flicking to your lips before darting away again as if the thought alone was dangerous. “You don’t understand what it’s like,” he said quietly. “To know that one wrong step could cost you everything. That loving someone gives the world a weapon.”
“I do understand,” you replied, your voice steady even as your chest tightened painfully. “Because loving you means living with that same fear. Every day.”
Something in him cracked then—not shattered, but softened. His shoulders sagged slightly, the rigid control slipping just enough for vulnerability to bleed through. “I’m trying to protect you,” he said, almost pleading. “Even from me.”
“And I don’t need you to,” you answered. “I need you to trust me.”
For a long moment, neither of you moved. The forest hummed softly around you, bioluminescent plants glowing brighter with each heartbeat, as if Pandora itself felt the tension pulling tight between your bodies. Neteyam’s hands hovered at your waist, uncertain and restrained, as though even touching you felt like crossing a line he couldn’t uncross.
“We’re dancing with our hands tied,” you whispered, the words slipping out before you could stop them. “Every step forward feels dangerous, but stopping feels worse.”
His breath caught sharply, and his forehead dropped to rest against yours. “That’s exactly it,” he murmured. “I feel like if I let myself fall… there’s no coming back.”
You lifted your hands, resting them lightly against his chest, right over his heart. You could feel it racing beneath your palms. “Then don’t fall,” you said softly. “Stand here with me. Even if it hurts.”
He laughed quietly then, breathless and strained. “You make it sound so easy.”
“It’s not easy,” you replied. “It’s just honest.”
Neteyam’s hands finally settled at your hips, careful and reverent, as if he were afraid you might vanish if he held you too tightly. The touch sent a shiver through you—not from fear, but from the weight of everything unsaid. He leaned in slowly, deliberately, giving you every chance to pull away.
You didn’t.
The kiss was gentle at first, restrained and aching, like something precious he was afraid to break. It wasn’t rushed or desperate. It was careful, deliberate, filled with all the words he didn’t know how to say. When he finally pulled back, his forehead rested against yours again, breath uneven.
“No matter how this ends,” he said quietly, “remember that I chose you. Even when I was afraid.”
You smiled softly, brushing your thumb along his jaw. “I’ll remember everything.”
The forest glowed brighter around you, bioluminescence pulsing like a silent witness as you stayed there together—hands still metaphorically tied by duty, fear, and expectation. And yet, despite all of it, you swayed gently in place, holding onto each other as if the world hadn’t already decided to test you.
You didn’t know how long it would last. You didn’t know how much it would cost. But in that moment, with Pandora breathing around you and Neteyam’s arms anchoring you to something real, you knew one thing with certainty.
Even with your hands tied, you would keep dancing.
The walk back toward the village felt different after that.
Not lighter, exactly, but sharper—like every sound carried farther, every shadow leaned closer than before. Neteyam did not release your hand, though his grip loosened enough that you could tell he was trying to regain control over himself. The forest dimmed gradually as the glow-plants thinned, their light fading into soft embers beneath your feet, as if Pandora itself knew when to give you privacy and when to pull away.
Neither of you spoke, but silence no longer felt empty. It pressed against you with meaning, heavy with everything you had chosen not to say out loud. Each step brought the distant sounds of the clan closer—the low murmur of voices, the crackle of fire, the rhythmic thud of life continuing whether you were ready for it or not.
Neteyam slowed as the first woven structures came into view. The faint glow of firelight reflected in his eyes, sharpening the gold until it looked almost molten. “Once we cross that line,” he said quietly, nodding toward the edge of the clearing, “everything changes again.”
“It always does,” you replied, your voice steady even as your pulse quickened. You had learned long ago that loving him meant accepting change as a constant, not a threat. “But it doesn’t erase what’s already happened.”
He glanced down at you then, something unreadable flickering across his face. “No,” he agreed. “It doesn’t.”
Reluctantly, he let go of your hand before anyone could see. The absence of his touch felt immediate and jarring, like stepping out of warm water into cool air. You resisted the instinct to reach for him again, knowing that even something so small could carry consequences neither of you were ready to face.
Within the village, life carried on as if the forest had not just borne witness to something fragile and dangerous. Children darted between adults, laughter echoing beneath the great branches that supported the homes above. Elders spoke in low tones near the fire, their voices carrying the weight of memory and expectation. Hunters cleaned weapons, hands steady and practiced, eyes sharp with focus.
You felt those eyes on Neteyam the moment he stepped fully into the clearing.
He straightened instinctively, shoulders rolling back as he slipped seamlessly into the role expected of him. The softness you had seen minutes ago vanished behind discipline and duty, replaced by the composed presence of someone raised to lead whether he wanted to or not. If you hadn’t known him as well as you did, you might have believed that was all he was.
You hated how convincing it was.
As he moved away to report to his parents, you lingered near the edge of the clearing, grounding yourself in familiar tasks. You busied your hands, helping prepare food, exchanging polite words with others who smiled at you with easy familiarity. To them, you were simply part of the clan—trusted, valued, safe.
None of them knew how close you stood to something forbidden.
Your gaze drifted back to Neteyam despite yourself. He stood beside Jake and Neytiri, listening intently as they spoke. Jake’s posture was relaxed but commanding, his voice low and steady, while Neytiri’s eyes were sharp and knowing, missing very little. You wondered, not for the first time, how much she already sensed.
Neteyam nodded as his father spoke, responding when appropriate, his expression carefully neutral. But you caught the moment his eyes flicked toward you—brief, almost imperceptible. The look there was enough to steal the breath from your lungs.
It wasn’t longing alone. It was fear. And choice.
Later, when the fires burned lower and the village quieted into something softer, you found yourself awake long after most had settled. The night air was cool against your skin, carrying the distant calls of nocturnal creatures and the gentle rustle of leaves high above. You lay staring up through the gaps in the canopy, watching faint stars peek through, your thoughts refusing to still.
Every word he had spoken replayed in your mind.
Every touch. Every hesitation.
You wondered how long you could keep dancing like this—close enough to feel the pull, careful enough not to fall. You wondered how long Neteyam could carry both the weight of his future and the ache of wanting something that didn’t fit neatly into it.
A soft sound drew your attention, barely audible over the night. Footsteps—light, familiar.
You sat up just as Neteyam emerged from the shadows near your dwelling. He hesitated at the edge, clearly debating whether he should be there at all. When your eyes met, the decision seemed to make itself.
“You shouldn’t be here,” you whispered, even as your heart leapt painfully in your chest.
“I know,” he replied, just as quietly. He stepped closer, keeping to the shadows where the firelight couldn’t reach him fully. “But I couldn’t sleep.”
Neither could you, but you didn’t say it. Instead, you shifted to make room for him, a silent invitation that felt heavier than any spoken word. He joined you carefully, sitting close enough that your shoulders brushed, though he kept his hands firmly in his lap as if afraid of what they might do otherwise.
For a while, you simply sat together, listening to the night breathe around you. The closeness was both comforting and torturous, a reminder of how easily you fit together and how carefully you had to pretend you didn’t.
“I keep thinking about what you said,” Neteyam murmured at last. “About trust.”
You turned slightly, studying his profile in the dim light. His expression was softer here, stripped of the expectations that followed him during the day. “And?” you prompted gently.
“And I don’t know how to do it halfway,” he admitted. “If I trust you, truly… it means accepting that this could cost us both. That I might fail you.”
You swallowed, your throat tight. “Loving someone always comes with that risk.”
He nodded slowly. “My parents found each other in the middle of war,” he said. “They fought for each other when everything else was falling apart. Sometimes I wonder if that’s the only way love like that survives—when there’s nothing left to lose.”
“And you’re afraid you have too much to lose,” you said softly.
“Yes,” he replied without hesitation.
The honesty in his voice hurt more than any lie could have. You reached out before you could stop yourself, resting your hand lightly against his forearm. The contact sent a visible shiver through him, but he didn’t pull away.
“I don’t need you to be fearless,” you said. “I just need you to be here. With me. Even when it’s complicated.”
Neteyam closed his eyes, leaning into your touch despite himself. “You make me want things I’m not ready to ask for,” he confessed. “A future that isn’t already written.”
“Maybe it doesn’t have to be,” you replied. “Maybe it’s something we write slowly. Carefully.”
His hand covered yours then, warm and solid, grounding in the way only he could be. “Hands tied,” he murmured, almost to himself. “Still dancing.”
You smiled faintly, pressing your forehead to his temple. “Still dancing.”
The moment didn’t need a kiss to be intimate. The closeness, the shared breath, the quiet understanding between you felt just as powerful. When he finally stood to leave, he did so reluctantly, as if every step away took effort.
“Be careful,” you whispered.
He looked back once, eyes glowing softly in the dark. “Always,” he said. “For you.”
When he disappeared into the night, you lay back again, heart aching and full all at once. The forest hummed quietly above you, Eywa’s presence a gentle weight rather than a burden. You didn’t know what tomorrow would bring—scrutiny, danger, choices neither of you could avoid.
But for now, you held onto the truth you shared beneath the stars.
Even with your hands tied, even with the world watching, you would keep dancing.
"Okay, baby. Into the hammock. Mom is asleep, the forest is asleep and your dad is definitely asleep standing up" Jake said, reaching down to scoop her up.
She nimbly dodged his hands. "No! I busy, Dada!"
"Busy? It’s dark out." Jake was prepared for the tears or the running away, but he wasn’t prepared for the sheer audacity of a toddler’s focus. "Time to sleep, little one."
As he reached down to scoop her up for the third time, she didn't budge. Instead, she held up one tiny flat palm—the universal stop sign—and looked him dead in the eye with a seriousness that was terrifyingly similar to her mother’s.
"No 'buts'!" she interrupted, her little tail giving a sharp flick. She pointed a small, blue finger at a series of messy charcoal lines she’d drawn on a flat piece of bark. "This map is 'portant. Very 'portant."
"Okay, okay," Jake whispered, dropping into a crouch to meet her eye level. "Why is it so important?"
She leaned in close, as if the forest itself might be eavesdropping on their top-secret tactical briefing. "Ants... they lost. They don't 'now where the sweet berries are. If I sleep, they walk-walk-walk into big water! And they go splash! You want them go splash?"
Jake rubbed the back of his neck, trying not to laugh at the mental image of a line of ants walking off a cliff because his three year old wasn't there to guide them.
"I definitely don't want them to go splash, sweetheart," Jake agreed solemnly. "But maybe they can find the berries tomorrow?"
"No, dada, look. Look!" She tapped the bark aggressively. "The berries are here. The water is here. If I don't finish the line, 'map is broken! Broken map is no good. You're a 'mander. You know this!"
Jake bit his lip. She had him there. Using his own rank as "Commander", as he'd once explained it, against him was a pro-level move.
"Alright, Specialist," Jake sighed, surrendering. "Two more lines. Then the map goes into night-mode and the ants have to use their brain. Deal?"
She squinted at him, weighing the terms like a seasoned negotiator. Finally, she nodded once, very sharply. "'kay. But hold the torch. I need light for these parts."
Jake sat there in the dirt, the great Toruk Makto himself, dutifully holding a glowing seed pod over a piece of bark while a toddler drew a squiggly line.
the way you play with jake’s pinky finger always gets him. he knows it’s probably weird in your point of view, but there’s something so intimately soft in the way you hold onto it every time you two are together. the way you just take his hand and lay it on your lap before hooking one of your fingers to his pinky – your eyes studying the extra digit – always leaves his lungs constricting. has him thinking how precious you are.
you’re always too curious for your own good, always wanting to touch before listening, and it seems like you’re this way with his pinky too. when he had fully settled in the clan, his differences finally called out to him; he went from finding it odd how the na’vi have less fingers than humans to shying away from their gazes whenever they looked at his alien body for too long. he learned how to be an omatikaya, sure, but that didn’t mean that he felt like he belonged. but then you came running up to him, hovering, curious – touching when jake presented his palm to you – and jake’s heart soared. there was no fear or disdain in your eyes, just honest curiosity and a touch of awe as you stared at his bigger and alien hand. 
“wanna compare hands?” jake had asked hesitantly, afraid that his question would just spook you away. his heart was hammering so loudly in his chest when you turned to him, blinking those beautiful doe eyes, your plush lips pursed in thought before you rewarded him with a subtle nod. jake couldn’t even bite his smile if he wanted to – he was that elated because of you.
jake doesn’t even know why he loves watching you play with his hands. his callous past self would’ve said it’s because he’s too touch-starved for his own good and now that a pretty girl is all over him, he couldn’t control himself. and maybe a part of that rings truth, but the way jake’s heart yearns for you is beyond something physical. he doesn’t know what it is yet, so for now he savours the time you two share together as you sit by his side, silent, your hands warm as they tangle with his.
(there would be times when he would look at his hands and know he’s got someone to protect. someone to love. someone to hold. and he would smile because he’d see his hands but all he’d think about – all he ever thinks about – is you.)
A/N: used the prompt "you. are. mine." cant remember from who.
masterlist / jake sully
the giggling was starting to make you nauseous the longer it went on.
eyes trained at the trees, nostrils flared from annoyance. fingers curling tight around the wood of your bow, almost forming small cracks. tail pointed high and ears pinned to the side of your head, flat against your braids. soft pink lips pouted into a scowl.
the giggling got higher pitched. a low growl rumbled in your chest. you closed your eyes and took a deep breath in and slowly released it. deep breath in and slowly out, in and out. deep breath in, to the point your nostrils sting at the cool sensation, and hold for a few seconds then slowly out your parted lips.
“olo’eyktan-“ “jake is fine.”
your teeth ground together. top fangs biting into your bottom lip, almost drawing blood. your head snapped in the direction the commotion is coming from. helle held her bow in an improper form. arms not straight and held loose, her core not tight enough. but you saw the ploy she was playing.
jake, your jake, stood close to her back. your eyes narrowed at the smirk to her pouty lips when jake’s taller form leaned into her. his long fingers fixing her elbows and pushing her arm up higher. his head moving close to her face, his mouth moving as he tapped his palm against her stomach.
helle turned her head slightly, lips brushing jake’s cheek. he jerked away and a satisfactory smirk came to light when you saw the flash of disappointment on her face. but the small win didn’t last long as her tail snaked around his thigh. and this time you didn’t wait for jake to do anything, tired of her advances on your mate.
you made it known that you were stomping over. heavy feet crushing the ground, arms and bow swatting away leaves from your pinched face. lips curled into a snarl, a deep growl almost making you sound like a nantnag.
“olo’eyktan, may i have a word?” grit to the honorable title.
helle dropped her arms, her large eyes staring you down. you were her elder by a few years, you weren’t intimidated by some child, just pissed off that she doesn’t know how to keep her tail to herself. jake stepped away from the girl that he’d been helping for the past hour with a sigh, one you hope to be relieved from seeing you. and if you weren’t slightly upset with jake and burning an imaginary hole into helle’s face, you would have softened from the lovesick gaze and tender smile.
when jake didn’t respond to your request, you walked up to him, grabbed his hand and tugged him behind you. a death glare was thrown over your shoulder to helle for good measure.
you walked the both of you deeper into the forest, not wanting to catch even a whiff of helle’s scent. when you started to hear the flow of rushing water is when you stopped your steps and turned to face jake, arms crossed over your beaded top, nails digging crescents into your striped skin. the pout still prominent on your lips.
“would you care to explain?”
that was all you gave to jake. just a simple question that he should know the answer to. effectively make a trap for jake. he stretched a hand to his hair to scratch behind his ear as his other hand sat on his hip along the band of his loincloth. he blew a breath of air, “i was training helle. at her request. that was all.”
“oh really?” tail curling in, “cause what i was hearing was her grating giggles. and what i was seeing was you close to her with her mouth and tail touching you in places not appropriate for the olo’eyktan.” ears fully pinned down as you stepped closer with each word that flared you with an anger you hated.
jake, with his extra inches of height, looked down. his piercing yellow eyes softened, his pointed ears twitched and his tail swayed low to the ground. a cheeky smile made a home on his face. it made your eyes narrow into slits, hands moving to sit on your hips as you jut your chin forward.
“oh. i see what this is about.” a drawl to each word. like he made sure every syllable was highlighted.
“and what is this about? hmm?”
his teeth shined in the light, top fangs denting into his bottom lip. head tilting to the right, his loose hair and braids moving with the motion. jake moved his hands to rest over yours that caressed your hipbones. even with this ugly feeling rolling in your stomach, you couldn’t bother to step away from jake’s touch that always broke a crack in your tough façade.
he leaned his head close, a teasing gap as he whispered, “this is about you being jealous of helle.” you shifted your jaw, “i am not…” you didn’t even want to waste your breath on the word, but jake lifted his brows and his lips curled further. “…am not jealous of that- of that- that ‘eveng!” a stomp of your foot, like a child throwing a tantrum.
jake grinned even further and a deep chuckle rumbled his chest. he pulled you into him, arms slipping through the openings of your arms and wrapping around your waist with his palms flat to your back. he leaned further until he was able to nudge at your nose with his eyes closed. your eye shutting in contentment from the soft gesture that jake did often.
hands slid off your hips and sat just above jake’s loincloth. “you. are. mine.” giving a tug to his body that just made him huff a laugh. “no one else should touch you like that. i am the one that gets to love you in the private of our mauri. i get to kiss you any place i please and anytime i choose. i am the one who brings you pleasure and ecstasy, the name you moan into the glowing night. i keep our home well cleaned, i clean you after you come home scraped. i am the one who makes that smile on your lips shine.”
eyes opening and staring deep within each other's souls. hands leaving his body and moving to hold his cheeks, thumb rubbing loving over his skin. “you are mine, ma jake.” voice soft, but tone still holding that possessiveness to your bite.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
A/N: thank you so much to everyone who has supported this miniseries!!! My heart is literally melting from knowing that I've gotta close this little story! I love you all!
You sit on a the soft grass, leaning against a tree, your head resting on Jake's shoulder, as you watch your two eldest children run around and your six-month old baby is asleep in your arms. Your newest addition to the family is kicking inside your womb, making you smile as you grab Jake's hand and place it on your stomach so he can feel it.
Jake's heart flutters, his entire chest full of love, and he just knows.
You spend all of the remaining day and all night with Jake, both of you in your cave, alternating between talking, soft touches, gentle fucking, cuddling, and sleeping, in no particular order.
The next morning, you wake up early, Jake's strong, warm body spooning yours, his breath caressing the back of your neck.
You turn around to face him, stirring him out of his sleep, his eyes opening softly. When his gaze meets yours, you smile. “Morning,” you whisper, leaning your mouth towards his.
He grins. “Hey, gorgeous,” he replies, voice thick with sleep as he accepts your gentle kiss, his hand rising to your cheek and caressing your soft skin.
You push him on his back and climb on top, straddling his hips as you kiss down his neck.
He groans. “Baby,” he moans lowly, “We gotta get back.”
“What if we don't?” you say, jestful. “What if we just stay here forever?”
Jake chuckles lowly, his hands squeezing your ass. “What? Just stay here, have me inside you all day? Do nothing but fuck?”
You whine lowly. “Exactly,” you reply. “We should just stay.”
Jake's fingers ride up your hips, undoing your loincloth, tossing it aside. “C'mere,” he tells you, grabbing your hips and pulling you up his torso, drawing your warm cunt to his face.
“What're you doing?” you ask, blushing softly, flustered but also excited.
“Imma have breakfast, baby.”
When your thighs are on either side of his head, he pulls you down and dives his face into your pussy, his tongue licking your folds, his nose inhaling your scent as it presses into your sensitive clit.
You gasp, hips bucking away from Jake's mouth, but his strong hands pull you back down until you're sitting on his face.
“Fuck—Jake! You're gonna-gonna choke,” you mewl, grinding your hips down on Jake.
He pushes you up slightly and says, “And what a wonderful way to die.” Then he pulls you back down, eating you out with renewed vigor, making your body jerk.
One of his hands holds you against his assault on your cunt, his other hand rising up your torso, caressing your lower stomach.
You grab Jake's hand and lead it up to your chest, moving his fingers so they can pinch your nipple. At the feel of your gentle skin between his digits, Jake groans into you, making you cry out, pleasure filling you and coursing through your veins.
You shudder above him, pussy juices dripping down his face, staining his plump lips, decorating his chin. Jake is delighted. His cock is painfully hard, his hands exploring over your skin, and your taste—
Fucking Christ. Jake's gonna be tasting you the rest of the day.
You can feel the ecstasy building within you, a living entity that takes over your mind, your body, controlling your every nerve. You're twitching and shaking, body writhing as you arch your back and press your pussy against Jake's mouth.
“'s so good,” you whine as you ride his face. “Y're so good.”
Jake moans into you, sending vibrations through your sensitive cunt, and you mewl, body trembling as you lose strength from the intense pleasure.
“Jake,” you warn, the pleasure gathering low in your stomach, making you tremble as you grind your hips down on his face. “Jake!”
He keeps going, tongue swirling in your entrance, occasionally licking up to your clit and flicking the wet muscle against the sensitive bud.
It makes your hips jerk away from him, but his hand holds your ass tight, preventing you from getting far. His fingers dig into the flesh, his other hand squeezing your tit before moving to your waist, holding on tightly as he guides you, rocking you against his mouth.
“Jake!” you cry. “Ah, please!” Your desperate voice sends blood rushing into his cock, causing him to grow harder, stiffer, his cock twitching with the desperate desire to be inside of you.
He can taste you so well, your scent as all he can breathe, your thighs on either side of his face warm and soft as they press against his head.
This is, by far, one of Jake's favorite things to do, he realizes. If he could start every day like this, he'd never have a bad day.
He nuzzles his face against you, his nose rubbing your clit, his tongue dipping into your entrance. He increases his pace, knowing you're close, swallowing your slick, devouring you so you reward him with your orgasm.
“Fuck,” you gasp, body shaking, mind going blank from the pleasure. “Fuck! Oh, please!”
Jake opens his mouth, dragging his teeth over your clit, making you whine above him, pushing you over the edge and making you come all over his face.
You ride your orgasm out against his mouth, and Jake groans into you at the taste of your orgasm as it floods his senses. He doesn't stop his ministrations, not even when you beg, “Too much! Jake, 's too much!”
It only seems to encourage him because his determination shows in the way he sucks at your folds, the way he pushes his tongue into you, the way he presses his nose against your clit with enough pressure to make your entire body shake.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck!” you cry, very much seeing starts from his intense reward. You come a second time, dripping down Jake's face, and he licks it all, reveling in your taste.
He holds you on his face until you've calmed down, and then he helps you off, his strong arms holding your limp body up as you gasp in the aftershocks of your orgasm.
“There you are,” he says softly, lying you on the ground and pressing a kiss to your temple. “You did so well for me, baby. So fucking good, girl.”
You hum lowly, one of your hands reaching for his cock.
Jake grabs your hand in one of his and presses a kiss to the back of your palm. “Shh. It's okay, baby. It's fine. I don't need anything.”
You make a face, eyes thick with lust and love. “But it's your turn,” you whine.
Jake smiles gently. “It's alright, girl. Let's just head back to the Hometree, yeah? The others will be worried about us.”
You pout. “I don't care about the others,” you tell him. “I care about you.”
“Baby,” Jake says, “I don't want you to feel like you always have to give me something in return.”
You smile gently. “But I want to,” you reply, pushing him so he's on his back and you straddle his hips. “D'you have any idea how much I get off on knowing I can be full of your cum?” You smile, sultry. “That I can be full of Toruk Macto's cum.”
Jake raises an eyebrow, curious and aroused, as you undo his loincloth, revealing his long, hard cock. You smile at him, meeting his eyes through your lashes before you begin pressing kisses on his jaw, down his neck, on his chest.
His breathing grows uneven, intense, and you make your way down his body, kissing his hot skin, licking over the stripes that decorate him.
You reach his cock and press a gentle kiss to the tip, making Jake groan. As you wrap a hand around him and swirl your tongue over the thick head, he shudders, his cock twitching in your hold.
You lick his underside, feeling the way he throbs at your touch, before taking him into your mouth. He sinks all the way down your throat, forcing you open.
Jake whimpers lowly, and the sound does things to you. Your pussy clenches at the sound, eager to have him inside of you. You glance up at him, studying his expression, torn from so much pleasure that he almost looks in pain.
You suck your cheeks in, your tongue caressing the underside of his thick cock, your lips plump as they stretch to fit him between them. Jake glances down at you and he meets your eyes, big and doe-eyed, as you watch him through your eyelashes.
It makes Jake's eyes roll into the back of his head, his hips bucking up, forcing his cock to hit the back of your throat. You gag softly, but continue to take him, bobbing your head up and down, savoring the salty taste of his precum as it drips on your tongue.
“Fuck,” he hisses, muscles tensing, his desire coursing through his veins as if his body were full of liquid fire that caressed every inch of his skin. “Oh, goddamn.”
You pull your mouth off his cock, jerking him with your hand as your mouth licks down his underside and reaches his swollen balls. You kiss the soft skin there before licking over the spot, swiveling your tongue over them.
Jake whines again, softly begging, “Oh, baby, please. Fuck, girl, let me come in your mouth, yeah? Please.”
You moan against him, making him gasp, before you take his cock in your mouth again, slowly increasing your pace, one of your hands wandering to his balls and softly caressing the skin there.
He jerks under your touch, whining quietly, groaning and panting.
You can feel him twitch in your mouth, his balls growing taut, before he grunts, gasping your name, and his cum splatters into your mouth.
You swallow it all, the thick, hot liquid only further igniting your arousal.
You release Jake's softening cock from your mouth, wiping your lips and giving him a cocky smirk. He pulls you to him, meeting your swollen mouth with his. He can taste himself on you, and it makes him groan quietly.
“We really should go now,” he says. “The others will worry.”
You nod softly. “Okay,” you reply.
---------------
You walk back to the Hometree. When you walk in, people stare at the two of you, some murmuring lowly, others asking if you're okay.
You find your parents with ease. They are standing with Neytiri and Tsu'tey, talking quietly. Upon the commotion caused by the crowd, they turn to look at you, and, when your mother's eyes fall to your hand in Jake's, she is very clearly displeased.
“Mother,” you say, approaching her. “I would like a word with you.”
Surprise flashes through your mother's eyes, confusion and also a little bit of tenderness. But her face remains a cold, stoic mask. “As you will,” she replies curtly, and you turn to Jake, pressing a soft kiss to his cheek.
“I'll be quick,” you promise him.
His free hand—the one that's not intertwined with yours—grabs your waist and squeezes it gently. He presses his forehead against yours and whispers, “I See you.”
“I See you,” you reply before releasing his hand from your grip, nodding for your mother to follow as you walk out of the Hometree.
The woman is, starkly, still disappointed. Yet, she says nothing as you turn to her and tell her, “Mother, I know I let you and Father down. I know I broke out of my duty. I know I have disgraced you. But,” you take a deep breath as a wave of emotions overcomes you, tears forming at the corners of your eyes. “but I am happy now, Mother. Truly. Jakesully is...he is a wonderful man. He is kind, and he is sweet, and he truly cares about me. And I care about him.” You grab your mother's hands in yours, and her ears flatten against her head, her tail swishing from side to side. “I know you wanted me to be with Toxtep. But, Mother, I did not love him. I did not want him. Jakesully...he is different. I have chosen him. And he has chosen me.”
Your mother snarls, “Your duty was to Toxtep, not to Jakesully.”
“Mother, I know,” you insist, tears falling from your face. “I am begging of you to see the situation as my mother, not as a dutiful member of the omaticaya.” You sniffle softly. “Please, Mother. If I had mated Toxtep, I would've never been happy, never been free. Would you have truly preferred I do that instead of mating with someone I want?”
Your mother is quiet for a while as she watches you. Eventually, your tears win her over, and she's crying again. “I'm sorry,” she sobs, pulling you to her, wrapping her arms around you. “I am so sorry. Sometimes, I forget you've grown up. I forget you are wise enough to make your own choices and face your own consequences. But, dear, I fear...We do not know Jakesully. We know Toxtep and we know his family. And...and I believe it is why I was so afraid that you'd chosen him.”
You smile softly through your tears. “I know him, Mother,” you respond. “I know him, and Eywa sent him to us for all the right reasons.” You pull out of your mother's embrace, meeting her eyes to add, “He has a strong heart. A kind spirit. I am not afraid of being with him, Mother. I...I love him.”
Your mother's face softens, a soft smile spreading on her lips. She nods softly. “If he makes you happy, dear, then he is the right one.” She sobs softly again and wipes her tears away. “I'm sorry I did not see this before.”
You grab your mother's face in your hands. “Do not worry about it, Mother. You see it now, and that is all that matters.”
----------------------
As the people get to their daily routines, the crowd in the Hometree dissipates, and Jake takes the opportunity to approach your father. The older man's eyes fall on Toruk Macto as he walks closer, and Jake is nervous at the sight of your father's clear tenseness.
“Sir,” Jake greets, his heart pounding in his ears. “Sir, I want to apologize for the inconveniences I've caused, but I do not regret—”
“Don't,” your father cuts in, and Jake is stunned into silence. For a second, he thinks the man is about to hit him. Instead, he tells Jake, “There is no need to apologize. Leyeleu has chosen you, Jakesully. It is the first time I see her choose anything for herself, and it is the first time I see her truly happy and free. Her mother and I are not happy that she has abandoned her duty, but we are overjoyed to find that she's settled on her own.” The man sighs softly. “I like Toxtep. I don't have anything against him. Except for the fact that my daughter did not want him. It was the only thing that made me reconsider the betrothal. It would have pained me to see her unhappy, but duty is duty. Nonetheless,” he continues, “you have offered her an opportunity to both settle and be happy. And for that, I will always be grateful. I wish you two the best.”
Jake is relieved, to say the least, and he slightly bows at your father. “Thank you, sir.”
When you return to the Hometree, Jake can tell that you and your mother are on good terms, since you are conversing pleasantly and there is no snarling nor hissing nor yelling.
When you see Jake, your eyes light up, and you smile at him. He smiles back, his chest fluttering, his heart pit-pattering, and he approaches you.
As he nears, your mother's posture grows a tad taut, a little unsure, but then, Jake tells you, “I See you,” and you reply, “I See you.” And this seems to ease your mother.
You grab Jake's hand and pull him closer to your mother, saying, “Mother, Jakesully.”
“Ma'am,” Jake greets.
Your mother eyes him for a while, silently, before she smiles gently and says, “Jakesully.” She walks away then, making her way towards your father who had been watching from afar.
“I don't think she likes me very much,” Jake tells you.
You giggle softly. “She'll warm up to you. Don't worry about it.”
Then Jake turns to you, his amber eyes wide, pupils dilated, ears perked. And there, in the middle of the Hometree, for everyone to see, he kisses you. Softly, gently, slowly. Then, pulling away from you, he whispers against your lips, “I love you, Leyeleu.”
You smile softly, feeling your heart race, your chest full of butterflies. “I love you, Jakesully.”
Warnings: ok, ok, this time, there's actual fluff. Uh, smut. Jake Sully being a sweetheart and a total simp for you. Maybe angst. Maybe some love confessions, maybe not. Uh. Neytiri being your friend. I don’t see how that’s much of a warning, but it’s there now. Idk, your parents are still mad and disappointed here so…heads up, I guess.
Neytiri glances from you to Jakesully, who stands beside you. She’s obviously confused, unsure as to why and how, exactly, things happened as they did.
“You…chose Jakesully over…Toxtep?” she questions, exchanging looks with Tsu’tey.
The clan stands around you, listening on, everyone staring at you and at Jake. Everyone had known you were betrothed to Toxtep. Everyone knew you and him were supposed to end up together. And then—days before the final ceremony, you just chose someone else.
“I did,” you reply, feeling your mother’s burning gaze searing into the back of your head. Your hand is still intertwined with Jake’s, and neither of you intends on letting go.
Neytiri stares at you silently, alert eyes studying you, and you can tell she’s not upset. She’s not disappointed. She’s just…curious.
She seems to be the only one. Everyone else just appears utterly disgusted with you breaking out of your duty, and choosing someone your parents do not approve of.
“Walk with me, Leyeleu,” Neytiri asks, and you nod.
Jake gives your hand a soft squeeze and you glance back at him. “You’ll be okay,” he says gently, cocking his head to the side slightly, offering you a tiny smile.
You return a small grin of your own and his eyes fall to your lips. You think he’s going to kiss you—right here, right now, in front of the entire clan, but Neytiri is already walking into the forest, through bushes, and if you don’t follow her quick, she’ll disappear among the foliage.
You pull away from him and walk out.
As you rush after Neytiri, Jake watches. His eyes trail after you, even once you’ve disappeared from sight. He just keeps staring at the spot you were in moments ago.
Somewhere in the background, he can hear your mother arguing with Tsu’tey, demanding to know what Neytiri is up to, why neither of you is in trouble. He can hear as Tsu’tey replies calmly, trying to soothe your mother into silence, explaining that what the two of you have done cannot be taken back.
He doesn’t care. Why would he care? He has you…
Doesn’t he?
For the first time in a while, Jake experiences utter terror. The feeling sinks into his stomach and threatens to drag him down, into the ground, past the core of Pandora and deep into relentless, endless abyss.
He realizes, only now, that you never said you actually wanted him. You…accepted his initial offer because it would get you out of your betrothal, because it was an impulsive act of revolt, of defiance, and of lust. But you never told him you wanted him. Never told him you liked him. Never even recognized that you’d thought about it at some point.
And so what if he’d caught you touching yourself to him? That meant nothing. Lust was just that—lust. But you two were now mated. You were linked for life, tied together, and lust can’t keep a connection going for eternity.
Dread spreads through his veins, making him feel faint, and, for a split second, he aches to run after you. To chase you through the jungle and grab you by the wrist and make you look in his eyes and ask, “Leyeleu, do you want me? Do you want me like I want you?”
Because, God, does he want you. He’d always kept his distance from you; ever since he found out you were betrothed, he’d known he couldn’t just barge in to your life. So he’d stayed away. And then, he’d found out you didn’t want Toxtep, and he’d let his mouth speak without his mind’s consent. And look where that has gotten him.
Mated to you, yes, but unsure if you even want him or not. Unsure if you even like him in the least.
Panic starts to take over. Anxiety, gnawing at his insides, making his mind blurry and his hearing fuzzy and he’s terrified—What if you don’t want him? What if this is one-sided? What if you were only using him and all you’ll ever need him for is sex and to shoo your parents away?
He feels sick. The world closing in on him. Too many eyes watching him. Too many voices yelling around him. He needs to leave.
So he does. In a daze, he just walks away, abandoning the chaos that unravels behind him, because of him, and he starts wandering aimlessly, memories blurry, brain trying to decipher if what you’re doing is because you want him or because he’s your only way out.
His head is spinning, feet wobbly. Everything is overwhelming, everything is too much. He thinks he’s going to throw up, or faint, or simply have a heart attack and die on the spot.
And then, he realizes where he’s arrived.
Your little cave. The very one where you both found each other for the first time. He imagines going back in time, back to yesterday that feels worlds away, and he knows—he knows, he’d do it all again. Not in this life, not in the next, not ever, would he give you up.
------
“Talk to me, Leteyeu,” Neytiri says as she comes to a stop by a bush full of ripe berries.
You sigh softly, content to be talking to your best friend and not the clan Tsahik. “I just…didn’t want Toxtep,” you say, shrugging, as if that were all. As if that were what this is all about.
Neytiri plucks a berry from the bush and plops it in her mouth. “Do not lie to me, sister,” she warns. “I need to know the truth, and you need to get it off your chest.”
Huffing silently, you give in. You tell her everything. From trying to dissuade your parents from giving you to Toxtep, to running to the secure little cave, to hearing Jake, to talking with him, to admitting you didn’t want to mate Toxtep, to him offering to mate you…and the rest you’re a little shy to share. But you make it clear to Neytiri that what happened was…pretty mind blowing.
“I…I don’t know,” you say once you’ve finished your tale. “I just—I guess Jakesully seemed better than Toxtep.”
She hums softly, plucking another berry and handing it to you. “And that was a spontaneous decision, yes?”
You frown. “Maybe?” You take the berry and eat it, the sweetness bursting in your mouth.
Neytiri shakes her head. “No maybes,” she tells you. “I need you to tell me everything. Maybe then, things will become clear for me and for you as well.”
You narrow your eyes at her. “What do you mean things will become clear for me?”
She is not happy that you are avoiding her question. She answers, “It’s possible that this decision you made—defining Jakesully as a more preferable mate than Toxtep—was made before you mated Jakesully.”
You frown. “Well…”
As you trail off and hesitate, Neytiri’s ears perk up, her attention captured. “So you had thought about him.”
“Not—well, I hadn’t not thought about him, but—”
“How did you feel about Jakesully before all this, Leyeleu?” she asks, interrupting. “What did you think of him from the beginning?” She sighs softly. “Something within me tells me that your decision wasn’t as spontaneous as you think—or pretend it to be.”
“It’s not like I wanted Jakesully,” you tell her, ears folding backwards. “He just showed up, and he offered, and I thought, well, why not?”
Neytiri shakes her head. “You’re not listening to me, Leyeleu,” she reproaches. “Before all this—before the cave and the offer. How did you feel about Jakesully?”
You bite the inside of your cheek as you think, rummaging through your memories, seeking out every time you’d ever come across Jake. And you realize that…you’d been curious about him in the beginning. He seemed kind and funny, and he’d been a quick learner, so he fit in with the people perfectly. He was…just a new addition, someone who was learning your ways. And that curiosity, you now find, became something else. Intrigue hinted with attraction. You remember watching him train, watching him learn to ride an Ikran, watching him play around the forest…and you remember the tickles in your stomach, the butterflies in your chest, the little bursts of excitement your heart would have whenever your eyes met his. And his smile…his stupid, cocky little smile—the one he gave you whenever he caught you looking—it always made you flustered. And then…well, and then he’d shown up at your cave and offered to make you his and…
Shit.
You did like him. You had liked him from before. You still do.
Your eyes rise up to meet Neytiri’s gaze, and find that she’s smiling gently. “Are things clearer now?” she questions.
You nod slowly. You liked Jake, wished it was him instead of Toxtep, and the opportunity that fluttered before you...was it coincidence? Or had Eywa heard your prayers?
“Tell me, Leyeleu,” Neytiri says, “did you make tsaheylu? Did you bind your soul to his or did you not?”
You flatten your ears, ashamed. It is tradition, custom, duty to make tsaheylu with the one you connect on a physical level. It is a sin and a disgrace for a Na'vi to share their body with another if they do not seal the bond.
“No,” you tell her, but have the feeling she already knew.
“So there's still a sliver of a chance that you can still be with Toxtep,” she informs you, but it's not so much a threat as it is a warning. “And Jakesully—is he aware that tsaheylu is necessary to seal the souls and claim one another as your mate?”
“I-I don't know,” you reply. “He didn't hold his tswin out to me, and I didn't offer mine either. I don't know if he didn't want to or if he doesn't know that's how it works, but...we're technically not mates yet.”
“Does anyone else know of this?” Neytiri asks. “That you two have not made tsaheylu?”
You shake your head. “Unless he tells, no one else knows.”
“You must go to him at once,” she orders. “Go to him and make tsaheylu. Claim one another. If someone finds out you are not mated, although heavily disgraced, your parents may still attempt to force you to mate Toxtep.”
You nod at Neytiri. “Thank you,” you tell her. “Thank you for understanding and for being my sister before being Tsahik.”
She smiles again. “I was your friend before I became Tsahik, and I always will. Now go,” she urges again. “You cannot wait.”
You nod once more and turn away, rushing through the jungle as you head back to the Hometree.
———————————
Jake is sitting on the rock inside the little cave, staring blankly at the mossy walls, remembering everything that happened in here just yesterday.
He can hear your every word, every moan, can see your lustful eyes and eager swirls of your tail, but he can't find, in any of his memories, a single sign that you want him, that he's more than an escape tool for you, and it hurts.
Part of him aches so bad, it makes him angry at himself for falling for someone as strong and independent as you. How could you ever want him?
The other part of him wants him to try, to live with you and work hard to make you fall for him. He wants to woo you, take care of you, make you see that he's worth your love.
But all of him is afraid. Afraid he's made a mistake, afraid you'll never want him, afraid he'll never find love with you.
Footsteps, gentle but intent reach his ears. He turns to look at the curtain of leaves and sees the outline of someone standing there. He's stupid enough to hope it's you, but then the person speaks, and he finds it's not you.
“Jakesully,” the voice says, sending alarm up his spine.
Toxtep.
He steps out of the cave, facing the Na'vi you escaped, and Jake tries to look unbothered, unafraid, but his heart races within his chest.
“Toxtep,” Jake greets.
Toxtep's eyes scan him and his tense posture, and he says, “You need not fear me, Jakesully. I will not harm you, nor am I here to fight for Leyeleu.”
Jake feels his guard lower, relief washing through his veins. “Then why are you here?”
“I'm here to thank you,” Toxtep replies, sitting on a fallen log, his eyes following an insect that crawls on the wood. “For helping Leyeleu out of the engagement.”
Jake is deeply confused, his eyebrows scrunched, ears perked and curious. “What?” he blubbers.
Toxtep glances up at him. “I love Leyeleu,” he says, “but as a friend. Not as a mate. And I know she doesn't want me—I've always known she's never wanted me—and it pained me to see that she was being forced into this with me. It's not that I wouldn't have mated her; duty is duty, and if I had to fulfill it, I would have. But the idea of tying her down with me, against her will, and forcing her to be my mate for her entire life...it made me feel guilty. And I hated it. But with you...She can be happy with you. She's chosen you, Jakesully, and you should not take that for granted nor should you ever let her down.” He sighs softly and adds, “She's a wild spirit, Jakesully. Not made for everyone. But she is beautiful within, she has a wonderful soul, and I hope you can see and appreciate that.”
Toxtep stands then, his eyes on Jake's, and says, “Don't let her down.”
“I won't,” Jake promises, still surprised, as Toxtep turns to leave. He is already walking away when Jake calls after him, “You said she chose me. How can you be sure I'm not just her way out?”
Toxtep glances at Jake over his shoulder and says, “She would've had thousands of ways out that didn't require mating with someone else. And yet, she chose to mate with you. I believe that says more than enough.” Toxtep turns away after that, walking into the foliage and disappearing from view.
—————
You walk into the Hometree and find that Tsu'tey has managed to calm your parents from yelling and snarling to merely glaring and swishing their tails with pent up rage.
But when your mother sees you, she seems to lose whatever was left of her composure and storms away, out of view. Your father simply stares at you, eyes full of disappointment, before he follows after your mother.
You don't have the time to care about that now. You can worry about your parents later.
You walk to Tsu'tey and greet, “I See you.”
He replies with the wordless gesture and asks, “Has everything gone well with Neytiri?”
You nod. “Yes, all is well. But I'm looking for Jakesully.”
“He's not here,” Tsu'tey informs you. “He left shortly after you did. I thought he went after you.”
Confused, you frown. “I haven't seen him...” you say.
“I know where he is,” a voice calls from behind you.
You turn around, anxious and uncomfortable, to find Toxtep standing there. A few onlookers watch, curious, as he approaches you.
“Toxtep,” you say, surprised, tail swishing anxiously. You stammer, stumbling over your words before you eventually manage, “I'm sorry. My intention was never to hurt you, I just wanted to make a decision for myself.”
As he reaches you, Toxtep smiles. He grabs your face in both hands and says, “Don't apologize, Leyeleu. You've done nothing wrong. I am glad that you have the opportunity to find happiness with the one you chose.” He places a tender kiss to your forehead. “Jakesully is deep in the forest, hiding in a cave not far from the hunting grounds, by the river.”
He's in our cave, you think to yourself. Smiling, you say, “Thank you, Toxtep.”
He releases your face from his grasp and urges, “Go.”
You nod before hurrying out of the Hometree, eager to find Jakesully and tell him that you want him, that you need him, and you can only hope he wants you too.
————
The first thing that adverts Jake about your arrival is your scent. It reaches his nose, crawling into him and making his ears perk up, and his pupils dilate slightly.
Then, he hears your footsteps and he turns around. And there you are, pushing the curtain of leaves aside as you step into the cave.
“Leyeleu,” Jake says, a little breathless, as he stands. He approaches you and reaches out for you, aching to pull you into him by your arms, and hold you tight in a hug, but he hesitates. Do you want that kind of affectionate touch from him? Or do you only want sex?
You can see the way Jake becomes lost in his thoughts. His eyes cloud over, his hands pull away from you, making you feel cold and unwanted. Your ears fold backwards, hurt. Maybe, you think, this is a mistake. Maybe he doesn't want me. Maybe that's why he didn't offer his tswin to me.
“Jakesully,” you say, taking a tiny step toward him. “Toxtep told me I might find you here.”
Jake hums softly, watching you, studying your behavior. “He talked to me, you know.”
Your ears perk at this, your eyebrows rising in surprise. “He did?”
Jake nods. “Said he's not upset about...” about us “...about what happened. Said he's glad he's not tying you down against your will.”
“Oh.”
Silence falls between you, and Jake can feel his frustration bubbling at the surface. You're staring at the ground, ears folding against your head again, tail swishing mercilessly, anxiously, and he can feel his heart race, his nerves eating at him.
“What did Neytiri say?” he asks, just to get rid of the silence.
“She told me...” You stop, meeting his eyes, unsure if you should tell him or not. How will he react when he finds out you want him? What if he doesn't want you? What if he doesn't agree to tsaheylu and you're forced back to Toxtep? “She told me we should seal the bond.”
Jake frowns. “What do you mean?”
You decide honesty is the best policy. “You and I are not mated, Jakesully,” you inform him, hardening your heart, trying to push away the fear of him walking away. “Sharing bodies is not mating. We must make tsaheylu while we share our bodies in order to mate. And...and we did not do that.” You decide that it's better to do it fast and swift, like pulling an arrow out. “So, if you want to leave, if you don't—if you don't want me, you're still on time to walk away. I will not think any lesser of you, nor will I be upset. It is your decision, and if you decide you do not want to mate me, it is alright.”
Jake stands there, dumbfounded, as he processes what you're saying. Don't want you? How could he ever not want you? How could he ever want to walk away from you?
Something within him fears that you don't want him, so you're saying this in hopes that he'll leave and spare you the cruelty of breaking his heart.
But he won't risk this—he won't risk you because of a simple fear.
“Leyeleu,” he says, taking a step toward you so that he's so close to you, he can feel your breath against his chest. “Do you want me?”
Your heart leaps. Your stomach drops. Fear seeps into your body and you freeze, unable to reply.
So Jake speaks. “Do you want me, Leyeleu?” He gathers all his courage, decides to take the leap into the dark abyss, and says, “Because I want you. I want to hug you and kiss you and hold you. I want to be the one you count on for anything and everything. I want to be by your side, all day, every day. I want to fall asleep beside you and I want to wake up beside you. I want to love you and I want to be yours, and, by God, I want to fuck you. I want to fuck you slow and I want to fuck you fast. I want to tell you how important you are to me, and I want to say it until my tongue becomes raw and you grow tired of hearing it. I want to love you, for the rest of our lives, and I want to fill you with my babies. And I want to have a family with you. And I want to grow old with you. And I want to be able to lay at night, under the stars, and simply be beside you and feel you with me.” He grabs your hands in his, pulling you close, and says, “I want to be yours, Leyeleu. Completely yours, in body and soul. I will mate you to get you out of your engagement, but I need to know, do you want me like I want you? Or do you only need my help to free you from your betrothal?”
Your heart is beating so fast, you're sure you're about to get a heart attack. You're speechless, body shaking, mind racing. The only thing you're able to say is, “Yes.”
Jake's ears lower themselves against his head. Confused, he asks, “Yes, what?”
You swallow thickly, your nerves making it hard to breathe. “Yes, I want you. I...I want to be with you. I want to be yours, and you to be mine. I want to spend every day with you, and I want to learn to love with you. I...I want to build a life together, and I want...I just want to be yours, to be able to count on you, to be comforted by you. I want to love you, as I hope you can love me.”
Jake's eyes are wide with amazement and relief. He smiles softly as one of his hands rises to your face, cupping your cheek and pulling you closer. His eyes flutter to your lips, his ears alert, and he slowly leans in.
You meet him halfway, your tail swinging from side to side, excited, relieved, anxious. Your heart races within you as your lips meet his.
You melt against him, relaxing into his embrace, finding comfort and peace in his kiss. His hands pull you closer, his body wrapping around yours as he leads you to the ground, gently moving you to lay underneath him.
“You—Are you gonna fuck me hard or slow?,” you ask softly as he kisses your jaw, your neck, his hands sliding down to your thighs.
“Whichever you want, baby,” he murmurs against your skin as he removes your loincloth gently, fingers skimming across your bare lower stomach before gliding to your cunt. “Whatever you want, you'll get, pretty girl.”
And he said that with all his heart. He is willing to give you the world if you ask for it. He'd roll out a red carpet for you to walk on. He'd pick all the flowers in Pandora and give them to you, reminding you that they're not even close to matching your beauty. He'd protect you from everything and everyone; he'd keep you safe from anything that could hurt you, be it a thorn against your skin or an angry palulukan raging after you. He'll do anything to keep you happy, to keep you by his side. There are no limits to what he's willing to do for you.
“Soft,” you say gently.
He dips his face to your neck, kissing your collarbone. “I'll fuck you soft, then, pretty girl,” he says, voice thick. “Soft and deep, until you can feel me all the way...in here.” He presses a finger on your lower stomach at that, his eyes rising up to meet yours. “I'm gonna fill you all the way up, girl.”
You sigh softly, contentedly, and nod. “Please,” you breathe out.
He chuckles softly, kissing your jaw as his hand slides between your thighs, pushing your loincloth to the side and dragging his thumb across your clit.
You hum gently in approval, thighs opening wider, circling your hips against his thumb to increase the pressure on your clit.
He sinks a finger into you, slowly curling it, making your mouth fall open, a small breath leaving you. He adds a second finger, scissoring them, stretching you open, readying you for his cock.
Your back arches, toes pointing, as little whines begin escaping your lips. “Need you,” you gasp. “Please.”
With some effort, you reach for your braid before holding it out to him, your eyes shining, pupils wide.
Jake's gaze lands on the queue, his heart leaping out of his chest, as he reaches for his own braid.
You both watch, enthralled, nervous, excited, as the tendrils connect. Tsaheylu. The bond. It is sealed.
“Baby,” he says softly, drawing your eyes to his. His chest rises and falls with heavy breaths. “I See you.”
Your heart leaps, butterflies jumping in your stomach, your body tingling with how he feels.
You grab Jake's hand, pulling him to you, and he kisses you, his fingers continuing to curl inside you.
He can feel your pleasure, can feel how bad you want him, and it makes groan, his cock stiffening almost painfully.
“I See you,” you reply, your lips ghosting his, and you can feel the way his heart rate increases.
And Jake smiles. He smiles his stupid, soft, charming smile that makes you want to cry from how he makes your heart flutter.
Jake is soft with the way he builds you up, middle and ring fingers curling inside you, thick thumb gliding over your clit.
You mewl for him, back arching, eyelids growing heavy with pleasure, legs jerking.
Jake can feel your pleasure coursing through tsaheylu, and he uses it to his advantage. He plays around a little, finding your favorite spots, whatever you like best, and exploits each little detail until you're gasping for breath and begging him to make you come.
“Please,” you whine. “Jake, please.”
“Go on, baby,” he urges. “Come for me, yeah?”
“Fuck, there—” you beg, chest heaving up and down, body trembling. “There, there!”
Your climax hits you suddenly, with so much force that you can barely breathe, your every nerve basking in the pleasure.
“Atta girl,” Jake hums, kissing your jaw, a soft groan leaving his lips as he feels your orgasm through the bond. “That's it, baby. Just like that.”
Slowly, he pulls his fingers out of you. He removes his loincloth, your ears perking and eyes widening at the sight of his hard cock, the tip a dark blue with precum already dripping.
He slowly drags the head through your folds, collecting your arousal before pushing into you.
You hum softly, body tingling as you feel Jake's pleasure through tsaheylu. In return, Jake groans quietly, his cock filling you up.
His thrusts are slow, gentle, allowing his cock to caress your walls with care as he leans down to you and kisses you. His lips are gentle, too. Soft, calm, loving. It makes your heart flutter.
You can feel him, can feel his racing heart, his heavy breaths, his pleasure.
And he can feel you. He can feel your nervous heart, your excited breathing, the soft waves of pleasure that wash over you.
“Fuck, 's so good,” he grunts, hips rolling against yours, making you moan quietly. “You're so good.”
His mouth travels to your neck, sucking on your skin, licking over your pulse. You gasp gently as he traces your neck with his sharp canines, your nails digging into his back.
“Fuck,” he groans as you buck your hips up to meet his, the sound of your squelching pussy loud in the small cave. “I fuckin'—fuckin' love this pussy, girl. Such a perfect cunt.”
You whine, back arching, your breasts pressing against his hard chest, making him shudder.
He groans, your cunt clenches around him, and both of you are breathless from the mix of sensations.
His hands claw at your hips, fingers bruising your delicate skin as he softly moans into your ear.
“Jake,” you gasp, legs winding around his waist as you pull him closer. “Ma Jake.” Your eyes flutter shut, veins overflowing with pleasure.
“I know, pretty girl,” he says lowly. “I know you're close. I can feel it.”
The knot in your lower stomach is too much to handle, the pleasure eviscerating in its intensity. You feel faint, eyes barely open, stars dancing across your vision, ears ringing.
For a moment, you're convinced you'll faint. Everything is too much. The feeling of Jake inside you, the sensation of his pleasure, tsaheylu connecting both of you—it's all too much.
You're sweating and shaking and panting, begging Jake to keep going, unsure if your body will melt from the heat, and then your climax finally washes over you. It tears you in half, making you shudder as you cry out Jake's name. Tears roll down your cheeks, watering your vision, as your ears fold back.
Your body is lost to the unbearable pleasure, your senses going haywire, your nails dragging over Jake's skin.
“That's it, baby,” Jake coos softly. “Such a good girl.”
Your cunt clenches around him, and he groans. “Fuck, 'm gonna come inside you, yeah?” he says through clenched teeth. “'m gonna fill you up.”
“Please,” you gasp, nodding, legs trembling from the oversensitivity. “Yes, please.”
Jake chuckles lowly, his entire body alight with pleasure, and his orgasm is suddenly rushing through him.
He groans, his teeth bitting down into your neck, making you gasp, as his load fills you.
You can feel his hot seed inside you, being pushed deeper and deeper with every one of his slowing thrusts.
Finally, he pulls out, allowing your mixed orgasms to drip out of you.
He lies beside you, lips finding the skin of your shoulder, your neck, placing little kisses anywhere he can reach. His mouth is so warm, so gentle...
He pulls you against him, his chest meeting your back, and he wraps an arm around you.
“I See you,” he repeats, kissing your shoulder.
“I See you,” you respond, placing your hand on top of his, allowing yourself to give into the sleep that drags you into dreams.
Where it becomes known that you and Jake are mated
Warnings: arguing with parents, I suppose. Definitely fluff this time. Feelings of not being enough? Is that a thing? Jake Sully being an absolute heartthrob. Maybe smut? Scratch that, definitely smut. Also, voyeurism. Alright, here we go.
It was reverent, the way he watched you. Intent. Careful. Borderline obsessive. And you could feel it; that gaze, burning into the side of your face, following your every move, every expression, every breath. He was watching you.
Jakesully had been watching you, regardless of whether or not you knew. For hours, days, weeks, months—he couldn’t stop. Every time you showed up, he found his eyes drawn to you. He thought about you all the time, constantly picturing in his head the map of your skin, the shape of your body, all the tiny details he’d committed to memory. He’d imagined you in his arms, imagined you on his cock, imagined you laughing and smiling and kissing him. He’d imagined you being his for a long time.
You’d caught his eye since day one, attracted his attention and enamored him. And he’d been devastated when he found out you were betrothed to someone else.
And then there was that one day—Hearing you tell him that you didn’t want Toxtep, that you wanted a way out, had given him hope. He’d been filled by butterflies and nerves, and he’d sputtered out the offer— “And if I mated you?”
Oh, and then you’d said, “Please, Jake, mate me.”
Oh, what that phrase did to him.
You’d both returned from your little session moments before eclipse. As you reached home, you each went to your own little canopy, each curled up on your own, each in your own world. But you were both thinking of each other.
Jake can’t sleep. He can still see your eyes, blown wide with pleasure and excitement, and he can feel you under him, shaking, writhing. He can smell your arousal, he can taste it still, and his cock is quick to spring up from the memory.
He can still hear you moaning, gasping, begging. He reaches for himself, pushing the loincloth hastily away, wrapping his long fingers around his aching cock. It throbs in his hand as he remembers the way you’d grabbed it, gently, softly, and he tries to mimic the way you’d jerked him. But he can’t get it right. He tries, though.
He can feel your tongue, licking him from the base up. He closes his eyes, brings the memory to life behind his eyelids. He can see you, kissing the tip of his cock, glancing up at him with those big eyes of yours. He increases his movements, his speed, his grip grows harsher. He sucks air in through his teeth as he remembers you, laying yourself on your back on the mossy ground, spreading your legs, exposing your slick, needy cunt.
He groans quietly. He can feel your pussy, soaked and hot, throbbing as he pounded into you. His hand goes faster, harsher, desperate. “Jake,” you’d moaned. “Jake. Jake…”
“Fuck,” he huffs silently, body trembling, jaw clenching as he comes, quick and hard, his seed spewing onto his hand, sliding down his fingers. He’s breathing heavily, chest rising and falling sharply as his pleasure washes away. “Fuck,” he says again, gently.
He can’t stop thinking about you. And now, you’re his.
You, not unlike him, can’t stop thinking about Jake. You can still feel him inside of you, bruising your cervix with every thrust, licking and biting your neck, whispering into your ear—
Tingles rush over your body, gathering in wetness between your folds, and you turn over in your canopy, now aroused and unable to do much—your parents sleep not far away.
But the way he’d touched you, the way he’d kissed you…And those eyes. Those mesmerizing, watchful, adoring eyes. The tiny expressions across his face, the way he’d called you beautiful, it’s all seared into your mind.
You can’t sleep, neither can he, but you’re not aware of him.
Quietly, softly, you creep out of your canopy, down the tree, and begin to make your way toward a stream you know to be not far away.
The footsteps are barely audible, barely noticeable, but your scent—it reaches Jake from the ground, and he glances down to find you, sneaking away from the new Hometree. Confused, he rises from his canopy and climbs down his tree.
You wander through the forest, the ground and plants around you coming alive as your every step and every touch makes them glow. You’re breathing a little heavily, still imagining Jake inside of you, still remembering his hands on your skin, his mouth on yours…You’re too caught up in your thoughts to realize he’s following you.
You reach the stream and sit on the shore, sinking your feet into the water, watching the little creatures that swim past you.
“Come on, pretty girl,” he’d said as he devoured your cunt. “You can handle it. Just a little longer, baby. You’re almost there…”
You can feel the moisture building up between your thighs, tingling and aching, begging for release. Hesitantly, shyly, you move your hand down your thigh, caressing your skin, before dipping it under your loincloth. You touch your clit, rub it like Jake did, close your eyes and think of him.
“You’re going to be the death of me,” his voice echoes in your mind, hoarse, rough, full of lust.
You mewl softly, spreading your legs, leaning back on an elbow as your other hand slips down to your entrance. You push a finger inside of yourself, but it’s not the same—Jake’s fingers are rougher, larger, longer, better. Fuck, all you want is him, his mouth, his hands, his cock—all of him.
You throw your head back, eyes closed, body shuddering softly as you touch yourself.
“Your pussy is mine, pretty girl…”
“Yes,” you hum softly, replying at the memory. “Yes.”
“Say it, baby. Tell me what you need…”
“Jake,” you whine, back arching, pleasure sparking through your body as your fingers try to touch you like he did. “Jake.”
Little do you know, he’s right there. Not far from you, watching you as you touch yourself, ears perking as he hears you call his name. His cock stands to attention again, hard and eager, as he looks on.
You gasp softly, body shaking as your orgasm draws near.
He can’t look away. He’s mesmerized, eyes locked on yours, frozen in place from pleasant surprise and arousal. He knows he shouldn’t, he knows he’s invading your privacy, but fuck—how can he look away when you’re like this? When you’re bare and exposed, clearly thinking of him?
Cock throbbing, he steps out from between the bushes that hid him and approaches you as silently as he can.
Through your heavy breathing and your unchaste thoughts, you hear his footsteps and gasp, pulling your hand away from yourself and turning to him.
Your eyes meet his and he smirks, cocking his head to the side.
“What are you doing here, babygirl?” he asks, approaching, lowering himself on his haunches in front of you.
You’re at a loss for words, embarrassed, blushing, and frustrated that you didn’t get to come. Mostly, though, you’re excited—you can see the look in his eyes. The same look he’d had earlier today.
You’d closed your thighs when you’d heard him, and Jake now pushes them open, eyes quickly falling to your cunt. He licks his lips, his hand reaching for you and spreading your folds. “You’re a mess,” he informs you, chuckling. A smile blooms on his lips, cocky and dangerous. “You dirty girl.”
You shudder, pussy clenching around nothing, body aching for him.
“What are you doing out here, all alone?” he asks again, even though he knows perfectly well.
Embarrassed, you divert your gaze from his. “I couldn’t…I couldn’t sleep,” you admit.
He lifts a hand to your face, grabbing your chin in his rough fingers and forcing your eyes to look at him. “So you came here to touch yourself to me?” he questions.
Feeling your cheeks redden even more, you bite your lip and look away.
“Answer me, baby,” he says, voice stern.
“Yes,” you respond, silently.
“Louder. I can’t hear you, pretty girl,” he tells you, gripping your chin with more force so you meet his eyes again.
“Yes, I came here to touch myself…while thinking of you,” you admit, and his eyes shine, pupils dilating with lust.
“Do you want me to help you?” he offers. “Do you want me to eat you out, spread you open with my fingers and then sink my cock into you while you say my name?”
You shudder again. “Please,” you whine, nodding softly, and he grins.
“Such a dirty, pretty girl,” he whispers as he leans down, moving his mouth between your thighs, his breath fanning over your exposed, wet cunt. He licks you, cleaning your arousal, groaning as it fills his mouth and overcomes his senses.
You sigh as you lie on your back, hips grinding against his face. “Right there,” you hum as his tongue reaches your clit and traces little shapes on it.
Jake wraps his arms around your thighs before sinking his face further between them, lips sucking at your clit and then at your folds, tongue tracing your slit, slipping into you.
“Yes,” you say, eyes closing, throwing your head back.
He snakes a hand up your thigh, gathers the wetness from your folds and pushes into you. “Tell me,” he starts, kissing your thigh, “what do you want me to do to you, pretty girl?”
You gasp softly. What don’t you want him to do to you?
“I want you to-to make me come on your mouth,” you tell him between thick, eager breaths. He hums softly, kissing your clit before twisting his tongue over it again, drawing a mewl from your lips. “And then, I…I want you to teach me to touch myself.”
He groans against you, the sound reverberating through you and making you moan.
“And…and I want you to come inside me,” you add, opening your eyes, glancing down at him.
His eyes meet yours through the darkness and he bites your clit gently, only enough to shoot sparks of pleasure through your skin. He adds a second finger to your pussy, using them to spread you open as his mouth licks and sucks and nibbles at your clit. You twist and whine, body writhing under him. He curls his fingers and pushes against that spongy spot within you that makes your hips buck up against his mouth.
“There it is,” he says, voice thick and hoarse, before he continues to twist his tongue on your clit, his fingers repeatedly hitting that spot until you see stars.
“Jake,” you gasp, trembling. “Yes, Jake…”
He increases his speed and his strength, his fingers and mouth relentless as they coerce your orgasm from you. The pleasure builds within you in waves, your every nerve on edge as he continues eating and fingering you.
You moan and whine, gasp and shake as his ministrations refuse to cease. Even after your orgasm reaches you and washes over you, he keeps licking you until you’re jerking from oversensitivity.
“Please—no. Too-too much,” you gasp, and he removes his lips from your clit, his fingers sliding out of you. Still, he cleans you up with his tongue, drinking your orgasm, and you moan softly.
He grabs your hand and pulls you to sit up, your body seemingly boneless. He places a kiss on the back of your hand before moving to sit behind you, his cock flush against your lower back. He reaches around you, wrapping his arms around your waist and spreading your legs. He grabs your hands in his and guides them to your sodden cunt.
His lips are nuzzling your ear as he lowly says, “Just explore your body, baby.” His tongue runs over the sharp shell of your ear and you whine softly, leaning your head back against his shoulder. His hand moves yours to your clit, fingers covering yours as he draws circles over the bud. “Find what you like and what you don’t, what makes you wet and ready for my cock.”
His other hand uses yours to trail up your chest, under the beads, squeezing your tit, pinching your nipple.
“Just do whatever feels better for you,” he says softly, leaving your hand on your clit as his fingers trail lower and sink into your pussy. You hum softly, breathing erratic, as his digits pump in and out of you.
You spread your legs some more, your back arching as the combination of touches slowly drives you up to the edge.
“That’s it,” Jake praises, his mouth kissing the spot right under your ear. “Sink into the feeling. Let your pleasure take over, pretty girl.”
You whine gently as his fingers curl inside you and your hand continues to draw circles on your clit. Your other hand, still under Jake’s, fondles your breast and plays with your nipple.
You feel his hot lips land on your shoulder, kissing your warm skin, his tongue tracing the stripes on your body. “Next time you touch yourself, babygirl, remember this,” he tells you, voice rough with lust. “Remember my hands teaching yours to play with yourself. And then, someday, I’ll have you do it all on your own while I watch.”
You groan. “Jake,” you breathe, legs shaking, orgasm peeking over the edge.
His cock twitches against your back when you say his name, and he growls, “Can I fuck you, baby? Can I put my cock in you?”
“Yes,” you reply. “Please.”
He kisses your shoulder again, then your neck, as he pulls his fingers out. He brings them up to your mouth and snakes them between your lips so you taste yourself. You lick his fingers clean, sucking on his calloused digits so he groans behind you and his cock twitches again, desperate.
Jake turns you around so that you’re facing him, straddling his hips, his cock poking at your soaked folds. You wrap your arms around his neck, eyes locked on his. He grabs your hips and lifts you up before sinking you down on his cock. You gasp softly, gently, as the feeling of fullness he offers overcomes you. He groans gently, eyes closing, ears twitching, and then he lifts your hips and pulls them down again. Slowly, he builds you up, the tip of his cock brushing against your cervix with each move, your voice growing loud as you moan.
He leans his face to your chest, nuzzling against your breasts, tongue maneuvering between the beads to lick and suck at your nipples. You arch your back, pressing your tits into his face, your tail swirling around as your pleasure increases in intensity.
He bites the top of your breast, making you gasp, leaving a mark from his sharp canines. His mouth trails up, to your throat, and he marks it again, as if he hadn’t already done so this afternoon.
“I want everyone to see,” he grunts, lifting your hips and brining them down with more force and more speed. “I want everyone to see my marks on you. I want everyone to know that you’re mine. I want them all to know what we do when it’s just us two. I want everyone to be aware of how wet I make you, how you let me fuck you, how you let me fondle and bite you.”
You can’t reply. His hips buck up to meet yours, knocking the air from your lungs, but you think, surely they must know with how loud we’re being.
And yet, you can’t feel embarrassed. You don’t care if they can all hear you. Right now, you’re with Jake, and there’s nothing more important than that.
Your body starts to tremble, your strength almost giving out as he forces an orgasm to rock through you. But he is relentless. His pace doesn’t slow, his thrusts only grow harsher as he rushes after his own orgasm, groaning and grunting, burying his face into the crook of your neck and biting you.
“Jake,” you gasp, throwing your head back, cunt clenching around his cock as you feel another orgasm threatening to burst out of you. “Jake—”
“I know, pretty girl,” he says, voice strenuous. “I know. I’m almost done.”
You moan, thighs clenching around his hips, cunt sore, as your third orgasm rips through you, leaving you with no strength. Your mind is fuzzy, but you’re still aware of Jake and his thrusts that stutter and he groans, his warm seed filling you and dripping down your thighs as his movements slow.
He kisses your face, your cheeks, your mouth, your nose as he pulls you off him. “That’s my girl,” he praises gently, lying you on the ground beside him. “You did so well for me, baby. You made me so proud.”
He spoons you, his body curling around yours, an arm wrapping over your waist as he kisses your neck, your shoulder, your shuddering body.
Finally, you manage to fall asleep. There, in his arms, on the ground, surrounded by the sound of the stream and the feeling of Jake’s heart beating.
You wake up the next day when your parents find you.
You hear their footsteps approaching, their voices calling for you, and you jerk awake. You shake Jake out of his sleep as well, and he sits up, alarmed.
“Leyeleu,” your mother gasps as she sees you on the ground. “Leyeleu—” She cuts herself off the moment her eyes land on Jakesully. Confusion flashes in her eyes for a moment before she realizes—you can see the moment she understands what’s happened. Her face falls, her mouth opening in surprise, her ears folding backwards.
“Mother…” you start, but what can you say? There’s no denying what’s happened, no lying to her, no pretending you didn’t want this. And yet, the look on her face still wounds you. The resentment, the disgust, the disappointment…
Your father appears beside your mother and his eyes flash to you. He looks at you, at Jake, and back at you.
“What have you done?” your mother asks, frowning. You don’t reply. Instead, you exchange looks with Jake and then divert your gaze to the ground. “What have you done?!” your mother yells, baring her teeth, snarling at you. “And you,” she snaps, turning to Jake. “We welcome you into our family so you can steal our daughter from her destined mate?”
“No,” you speak, shaking your head. You stand, dusting yourself off. “This is not his fault,” you announce. “I chose him, Mother. I decided I want him.”
Your father snarls, “You have disgraced our family. You have broken your promises. You had a duty to fulfill and you failed us.”
“I never wanted any of it!” you yell, baring your teeth, as Jake stands beside you. “I never wanted Toxtep. I tried telling you, I wanted to choose someone on my own, but you wouldn’t let me!”
“Toxtep was the right choice for you,” your mother starts. “That’s why we decided you were to be his.”
“He is not the right one for me,” you growl. “I chose the man I saw fit for me.” You grab Jake’s hand, and move to stand closer to him. “Jakesully is who I want. He is who I have chosen.”
Your mother hisses at him, your father glares at you.
“He is my mate,” you state, voice wavering a little. “It is too late for either of you to do anything.”
“Then we will take you to Neytiri and Tsu’tey, and they will choose what the consequences are for your actions,” your father states.
You square your shoulders and tilt your chin up. Still holding onto Jake’s hand, you walk past your parents, ignoring their stares, and make your way back to the new Hometree.
In the end, you decide, things will work out for me if I have Jakesully by my side.
—————————
I’m not really sure where I’m going with this, tbh. But I’m planning on a part three already. Thank you all for the support!
can i request jake sully fluff? like he just falls in love w femreader and slowly realizes it andandand
RAAAAHHHH
No becuz I KNOW he's such a simp 😭😭😩😩😩
Jake is standing in the background, watching you interact with the other Na'vi. He watches you play with the kids, watches your smile...
He's been doing that lately. Just...admiring you. Wherever you are, whatever you're doing, he can't do much besides worship you.
Today, you're teaching a few of the Na'vi children how to shoot arrows. You correct their positions patiently, explain everything in detail, reassure them with kind words of encouragement.
He can't help but think, wonder, wish...maybe one day he could start a family with you. Have children of his own, raise them with you, create a home in this wonderful new planet that's offered him a second chance at life.
He leans against a tree, very much literally unable to look away from you and everything that makes you wonderful: your laugh, your kind heart, your gorgeous mind.
And then you glance up at him, almost as if you could feel him watching you. And when your beautiful eyes meet his, it hits him like a ton of bricks.
I'm in love.
That's what the butterflies in his stomach are, what the flutters of his heart mean, why he's always warm and fuzzy and dizzy when he's around you.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Summary: after the first war with the Sky People, Jake loses you. When they return, they bring you back in a Na'vi body, and Jake runs into you.
Warnings: Angst. Angst. Angst. Smut (eventually). Jake Sully being sad. You being sad. You can't remember anything about who you were. I'm aiming for a happy ending, I just don't know when it will get here. Fluff. Slow burn. I think that's about it.
I came across this gem and gobbled it all up like nothing. I don’t know if you have plans to continue this one, but I’ll be waiting if you do!
I love how you expressed his need to just have her near. The memories to unlock in different ways like Neytiri said, I can only imagine what they’d get up to. I hope in some way, he’s built up the courage to tell them all the things he’s been waiting to.
Warnings: smut. Fluff. Sorry this chapter's a tad short. I promise the other ones will be longer!
You were expecting to wake up to the nurse's footsteps and the sound of the machine beeping as she checked your vitals. Instead, you wake up to soft kisses across your neck, your shoulder, your back. You stir, rolling onto your back and fluttering your eyes open.
You find Jake beside you, grinning at you with that bright smile and those adorable, wide eyes.
This waking sight is something you could get used to.
“Mornin', gorgeous,” he says as he presses a kiss to the side of your neck. “We should head to camp. They're probably worried half to death. I was supposed to get you back before the night was over.”
You smile gently, pushing Jake on his back, rolling on top of him to straddle him. “Surely they can wait a while longer?” you say quietly, your fingers sliding down Jake's torso.
He inhales sharply, eyes fluttering. “Damn right they'll wait.”
You lower your mouth to his, trailing your tongue over his lower lip. He groans softly, hands gripping onto your hips, and he rolls you over so that he's on top.
You smile against his mouth, wrapping your arms around his neck, feeling the pressure of his hips rubbing against your growing arousal.
One of Jake's hands slides itself down your naked body, his thumb rubbing over your nipple, his fingers moving to cup your breast and fondling it softly.
You sigh into his mouth, fingers curling into his flesh, your resolve crumbling as you give in to the sensations.
His hand slithers lower, inching its way down between your thighs, gently pushing your folds apart and caressing over your throbbing clit.
“So wet already,” he says against your neck, his breath warm against the skin there. His thump preoccupies itself with your clit while his middle finger slides into you, curling itself against your walls, making your back arch into his touch.
“You-you are going to fuck me, aren't you?” you ask breathlessly, eyes fluttering shut as he adds another finger inside you.
Jake chuckles softly. “Of course I am, babygirl. But I need to stretch you out first, and the best way to do that is by getting you to come.”
Your hips roll against his movements. His lips dance across your collarbone and shoulders, his tongue tracing the shape of your body.
Your nails dig into his back, your voice reduced to mere whines and pathetic little pleas as you urge him on.
“Jake,” you say softly, breathing heavily. “Jake, I—Fuck.”
“What is it, darlin'?” he asks. “What do you need?”
“You,” you gasp, throwing your head to the side, allowing the grass to caress your cheek. “You, inside of me.”
Jake groans, his body shuddering on top of yours. “Fuck, baby,” he rasps. “You gotta be patient for me, girl. If I put my cock in you, it'll hurt.”
You shake your head, forcing your eyes open and meeting his gaze. “I can handle it,” you promise. “I can.”
Jake presses a kiss to your temple. “I don't wanna hurt you, baby,” he says softly, his lips ghosting over your cheek.
“You won't,” you promise him, holding his gaze.
-
Jake is torn between giving you what you want and doing what he knows is safer for you.
He would never be able to live with himself if he hurt you, even in the slightest. After losing you to the war—a war led by him, in which he was unable to save you from danger—the idea of causing you any more pain terrifies him.
Because what if you pull away from him? What if you distance yourself? What if you decide to remove your beautiful, blessed presence from his life and leave him empty once more?
Who will he laugh with? Who will he joke with? Who will he fly his ikran with? Who will he find happiness with?
If he doesn't have you, everything becomes a waste of time. His entire life is worth nothing without you in it.
And yet here you are, asking him to fuck you already, to risk hurting you, to risk losing you...
“Please,” you whine, pussy dripping down onto the soft blades of grass, your muscles clenching around his thick fingers.
And the way you look at him, pupils wide, ears back, lips parted and swollen...He can't say no to you. Can't deny you what you want.
He gently pulls his fingers out of you, licking your arousal from his digits, his eyes never once leaving yours.
“If at any point it's too much for you, baby, you tell me,” he says sternly, raising an eyebrow at you.
You nod eagerly, ears perking when he pushes his loincloth aside to reveal his aching cock, hard and dropping precum.
He grabs your face in his hand, cupping your chin and raises your eyes to his face. “Repeat what I just said,” he orders to ensure you've understood.
“If it gets too much at any point, I'll tell you,” you say obediently, eyes boring into his very heart, his very soul, rooting the sight of you so deep within him, that you're part of his being. He is incomplete without you at his side.
He nods curtly, confirming you're not too hazy with lust—yet—before he runs the swollen head of his cock between your folds, gathering your arousal and dragging it up to your clit, circling it softly.
You hum, nodding softly as you relax into the soft ground, and he guides his cock to your entrance before gently, carefully pushing into you.
You mewl, the sound so full of pleasure that it makes him shudder, his cock growing even stiffer. He can feel the way you clench around him, your sopping cunt warm and tight, made just for him.
“Fuck,” he groans as he fills you to the brim, you hands desperately reaching for him, fingers clawing over the muscles of his torso.
“Please,” you whine, bucking your hips up, sending a shock of heat through him. “Please, please, fuck me.”
Jake tsks quietly. “I have to do it slowly, baby. Softly. Otherwise, I'll hurt you,” he tells you, dipping his nose into the crook of your neck, kissing your jaw.
“Can't-can't hurt me,” you stutter out, eyelids fluttering as one of his hands moves to your clit, caressing it with a practiced thumb. “You can't hurt me.”
Oh, but I can, he thinks sadly. I have. And I can't guarantee it won't happen again.
He kisses your neck. “Be patient for me, okay?” he asks. “Can you do that for me, girl?”
You moan and nod at the request, body calming, your hips ceasing their jerks, hands relaxing against his torso.
Jake plays with your clit, drawing messy circles on it, coaxing the slightest of sounds from you. He presses his thumb down to your clit, giving you enough pressure until you whine softly. Then, he begins thrusting into you with care, ensuring he doesn't harm you.
You moan gently, softly inviting him to keep going, as your nails dig into his back, tracing over his muscles.
“S'good,” he groans lowly. “You're so good, so warm and soft. Fuck.”
As he fucks you slowly, he gets the sudden urge to make tsaheylu, imagining what it must be like to feel you so deeply, to fully connect with you.
His queue is desperate for yours, aching to meet your tendrils and let him finally mark you as his. But he hasn't explained this to you. He hasn't told you about tsaheylu with other Na'vi, and he won't simply force you to mate him, not when you're so overcome with lust that you'd let him do anything.
So he sucks it up, ignoring the tingling in his queue as he fucks you, focusing rather on how you feel around him, on your thick breathing, on your hands tracing his shoulder blades.
“Baby,” he groans. “Relax, pretty girl. I'll fuck you. Just give yourself some time to adjust, alright?”
You nod and release thick breaths from between clenched teeth. He feels the exact second you allow your body to ease, your pussy loosening around him, your nails abandoning their attack on his back.
“That's it,” he whispers against your ear, his thrusts gentle still. “Good girl, that's it.”
You whine, back arching as his cock drags against your insides, your legs wrapping around his waist and urging him to go deeper.
“Shh, easy," he hums. "Take it easy, girl.”
Your breathing is thick in his ear, your body writhing beneath his. “Fuck, Jake,” you moan, rolling your hips up to meet his pace, making him grunt softly. “Fuck.”
Slowly, Jake increases his pace, watching your face, terrified he'll hurt you. But you seem to love it. Your eyes roll back into your head and you bare your neck to him, allowing him to nip and kiss the skin there, allow him to lick over your pulse and savor your earthy scent.
“Jake, please,” you whine quietly as one of his hands sneaks between your bodies to play with your clit. “Please. I've been patient enough already. Please, fuck me.”
He chuckles but complies, increasing the strength behind his thrusts slightly, watching you for your reactions. You mewl in content, body inviting him in, so he starts going hard, hard, harder. Until you're crying his name, until your nails drag against his back, until he's losing himself in the pleasure.
“G'damn, girl,” he groans as you tighten around him, his cock aching from how bad he needs to come. “Y'gonna be the death of me.”
“More,”you whine, eyes fluttering as the head of his cock brushes your cervix with each thrust. “More.”
“Not yet, baby,” he tells you. “I-I don't want it to hurt—”
“I won't hurt,” you promise, opening your eyes and staring right into his. “I'll be fine, Jake. Really.” There's a pause before you add, "You have to understand that I know what I can handle."
He knows you're right. Fuck, he does. But you'd also thought you could fight the war and come out unhurt; you thought you'd make it out alive and well, to find a new Pandora free of Sky People. Instead, you never got to see that future, never got to see what you were fighting for. You died thinking you'd be fine. How can he not worry?
But he has to trust you. He has to let his fear go. Has to understand that he can't protect you from everything...
He nods gently.
“I'll tell you if it hurts,” you promise, but it sounds more like you're saying it for his sake.
“You tell me if it hurts,” he confirms before allowing his fear to fall away and gives way for his love and his lust to seep in and take over.
He continues fucking you, but now with much more vigor, harder, faster. He delights in the sounds you make, the little moans and whimpers that escape your lips, the way your back arches, the way your body shakes underneath his.
“Like that,” you whine, gasping as his hips crash against yours in a cacophony of skin against skin and the echo of your soaked cunt. “Just like that.”
Jake can feel his pleasure growing taut in his lower stomach, his muscles tensing. The more you call his name, the more you urge him on, the more he feels he's right there, right on the edge, about to come.
But he holds back. He pushes the feeling away for as long as he can. If you don't come first, he won't come. You're his priority, your pleasure is all that matters to him right now.
“There! Right there!” you moan, back arching, your legs trembling. He can feel how close you are, can feel how snug you suck his cock in. “Fuck, like that!”
Jake tries to keep his pace steady through his haze. He's not sure what's more amazing, your body underneath his, the sounds you're making, the way it feels when he's inside you, or the fact that you could be his.
You mewl lowly, ears folding against your head, back arching until your bare breasts meet Jake's chest and your nails dig into his shoulders as you come. You cry Jake's name, little tremors shaking through you as your orgasm washes over you.
“Fuck!” Jake gasps as he feels a rush of your arousal coat over his cock, your gummy walls tightening around him. “'s too good,” he grunts, sharp canines dragging over his swollen lower lip.
With a few sloppy thrusts, Jake comes, his load spilling inside of you, warm and thick. It fills you, drips out of your stuffed pussy.
Jake gently pulls out of you, watching your cunt as his release dribbles out of you, slowly rolling to your underside and reaching the ground below.
-
You hum quietly, content, as Jake lies down beside you, his body engulfing yours, his lips finding your forehead, your cheek, your shoulder—any part of yours he can kiss, really.
“I told you it wouldn't hurt,” you point out, pressing a kiss to his jaw.
“'s just that you're so small compared to me,” he tells you, one of his long fingers tracing over the skin of your waist. “You're so delicate, so fragile, your pussy so tiny. I'm afraid that I won't be able to manage my strength and that I'll hurt you.”
You shake your head, nuzzling your face into his chest. “I'm not as fragile as you think I am,” you promise. “You don't have to be afraid to hurt me, Jake. You won't.”
He doesn't reply. He simply pulls you closer, cuddling you in his big arms, whispering into your ear how good you did, saying he doesn't want to leave, wishing you two could stay here for a long, long time.
“I don't want this moment to ever end,” he says quietly, his lips grazing your ear.
“It doesn't have to,” you respond. “We could just stay here forever, hope no one ever finds us.”
Jake chuckles and you giggle along. After a few moments, he says, “We should get back. I really don't want the others to worry about us.”
You nod. He stands and helps you up. He aids you with your clothes, helping you into your pants and into your shoes, somewhat braiding your messy hair before calling out for his ikran.
As the creature lands and Jake helps you up, you can't help but feel right. Feel like you belong. Feel like what you're doing is what you were meant for. It's a sensation you've never had, a feeling new and exciting that makes your heart leap and your stomach flutter with butterflies.
It makes you want to sing and dance because nothing could ever go wrong as long as this feeling is a possibility within you. As long as there's a sliver of a chance that you can feel like this again, nothing can go wrong.
You wrap your arms around Jake's waist as he hops on in front of you.
As long as I'm with the Omaticaya...with Jake, nothing can ever go wrong.
------
A crowd has already gathered by the time Jake's ikran reaches the camp in the Hallelujah Mountains. When the people see you, they run to you, studying Jake to make sure he's okay, asking him what happened, trying to talk to you in a mix of Na'vi and English that makes you dizzy.
Neytiri parts the crowd with a few quick words before reaching the two of you. "What happened?" she asks Jake. "Why did you take so long? We were ready to go to fight the Sky People for you."
Indeed, you see a group of young warriors in body paint and armed, their ikran at the ready.
"Just a few minor setbacks," Jake replies calmly, coolly. You can't help the blush that sparks up your cheeks. "Nothing we couldn't handle."
He glances at you and winks, making your blush worsen.
Neytiri glances from you to him and back. “Oh, I see,” she says after a moment, a sly smile growing on her lips. “Well,” she turns to you. “I'm glad you're back. We've missed you.”
You smile at her through your embarrassment. “Thank you, Neytiri. I, uh, I missed you too. All of you,” you add, turning to the rest of the clan.
Neytiri places a gentle hand on your shoulder. “What do you plan on doing now?” she questions.
You glance around, at all the faces that have slowly become familiar to you, at all the hopeful eyes that watch you, at this calm sensation that fills you as you stand among the Omaticaya.
You glance at Jake, at his tiny smile, at his gorgeous eyes, at his gentle disposition...
This is as much of a home as you can hope for. As much as you could ever ask or want.
You turn back to Neytiri, smiling gently. “I'm going to stay this time,” you tell her. “I'm going to stay and earn my place among the People.”
Warnings: Angst (which has become pretty much the default.) Uh, idk, angst. Angst. I don't wanna spoil anything, so Imma cut the warnings short. Enjoy!
You fall into a pattern. Every day, you wake up with dawn, have breakfast, train all day, and go to bed exhausted. Jake takes care of teaching you, of ensuring you become one of the people, that you are aware of the customs, that you follow them. He teaches you to ride a banshee, to use a bow and arrow, to walk, to jump, to hunt. He helps you with the Na'vi language, aids you with the rituals. Basically, he's with you all day, teaching you, helping you...
Days, weeks, months pass. You don't know how many; if you're honest, you don't care. It's not like you have a deadline, it's not like you have anywhere to be. But you're aware that time is going by and that your memory hasn't changed.
If anything, it's blurrier than in the beginning.
The only moment you felt like you remembered something was when Jake touched you in the tent, when he kissed your neck, when he kept leaning toward you on the top of a Hallelujah Mountain as eclipse fell around you. But now, with this new routine, you simply feel far away from him, as if you can't see eye to eye. As if something between you has cracked, fallen away and left barren, impenetrable terrain where that odd...beforeness used to be.
“Elbow up,” Jake corrects, softly pushing your elbow higher as you pull the string of your bow taut, your arrow aimed directly towards a tree with a target painted on it. “Back straight.” He pushes you to square your shoulders. “And focus.”
You want to scoff at yourself. Focus. Focus when he's standing behind you, so close you can feel his breath on the nape of your neck? Focus when you can't stop thinking about what he said that late afternoon: I've missed you so much...? Focus when you feel, deep within your soul, that the only way for you to remember anything is if he shows you whatever connection the both of you had before you died?
Focus.
You release the arrow. It whooshes through the air, whistling gently, and lands on the outer edge of the target. You sigh at yourself.
“It's alright,” Jake reassures you as he grabs another arrow from a leather case on the ground. “You're learning. All you need is practice.”
You can feel frustration bubbling within you.
Practice. Focus. Elbow up. Mind clear. Deep breaths. Step quietly. Walk swiftly.
So many orders, so many little details to follow, so many things that only anger you and make your memory more of a grim, messy fog than it already is.
Jake hands you the other arrow. “Again,” he instructs. “This time, feel the arrow. Feel where it's going, where it has to land. Focus on the arrow, on your body. Control your movements, your strength, your aim.”
You try again.
And again, and again, and again. By the time you're done, the tree is littered in arrows, and not a single one has landed in the center.
You slump to the ground, mentally and physically exhausted, pissed, frustrated, and on the verge of tears.
Jake sits beside you. As you rub at your eyes with vexation, he softly says your name.
“What?” you snap. “What do you want to tell me now? That I just need to keep trying? That I'll get it eventually? That I belong here?” You sneer. “It's been days, Jake. Entire weeks of training, of trying, of sweating and crying and bleeding just to get it to work, but nothing does. The more I do this, the more I feel my memory slip away. I don't know who I am, or why I'm here, and this isn't helping me at all.”
He remains silent. You can feel his gaze on you. “Do you want to leave?” he questions, his voice soft and quiet, gentle and broken.
You feel tears sting at the corners of your eyes. You don't know what you want. You just want to understand who you were—who you are—and you wish it wasn't this complicated.
Maybe I should've just stayed dead.
The thought sends terror through you, enough for you to start sobbing harshly.
You sense Jake reach for you, his arms ready to wrap around you, but you pull away from his touch.
“I—Yes, I want to leave,” you reply with a whisper. “I just...I need to leave.”
You don't risk glancing at Jake. You can already imagine the look of hurt he has drawn in his eyes.
-
Crack.
Jake is convinced it was audible—it must've been, he's sure he heard it. The final break to his heart.
This is it. This is what's going to kill me.
Worse than a knife to the chest, worse than breathing water into his lungs, worse than any injury he's every had.
You leaving, voluntarily, because you don't feel any hope here.
Because you can't find the home you once did.
Jake wants to cry. He wants to throw himself at your feet and beg you to stay, beg you not to leave him, beg you to keep bringing meaning to his life.
But it's your decision, and he will respect that.
He keeps his composure, takes deep breaths to try and relax his shattering heart. His ears droop, his tail falling to the ground, hopeless. “Okay,” he says, hoping his voice isn't wobbly from how thick the knot in his throat has grown. “I'll take you back.”
You both hop onto his ikran. You've learned to do it on your own, refusing to let him pick you up and place you on the animal. You grab onto him lightly, a barely-there touch remains where you once hugged around his waist and rested your head to his shoulder.
As the ikran flies over the thick foliage, cool wind rushes past the two of you, breezing in the gap between your bodies, making the distance that much more noticeable. It's as if your bodies are a mere demonstration of that canyon between your souls, that unfixable bridge, that torn connection...
Jake's heart keeps tearing itself into pieces, rolling into itself like a wounded creature, baring its weak, useless teeth to the world in hopes of scaring all threats off.
His heart has tried so hard to keep itself safe, and then you showed up and you hurt him. Twice, you've left him. Twice, he's lost you. Twice, you've abandoned his heart to the unbearable pain of loss and grief. And yet, he finds himself loving you more with each passing day.
Jake leads the ikran to the small clearing in the forest where your tomb lies. The creature lands on the soft ground, clicking its beak softly.
Clouds are carrying over the sky, darkening the day even more, threatening to burst tears over your loss as if Eywa herself were mourning your departure.
You jump off the ikran, your face sad and tear-stained, your ears folded against your head.
Jake wants to hop off his animal, hug you one last time, take the chance to finally tell you how much he loves you. But he doesn't. He knows he can't say goodbye to you again, he can't hug you one more time, can't touch you anymore—otherwise, he'll never be able to let you go.
Your eyes rise to meet his. “I'm sorry your plan didn't work,” you murmur. “I...I wish it would've.”
His heart tears itself even more.
“Me too,” he replies silently.
What's the difference, he wonders, between waking up without you and watching you walk away from him in real life? They both feel like death.
You sigh softly. Without another word, you turn away from him, walking into the foliage, disappearing amongst the bushes and trees where he'd first seen you appear.
Jake remains where he is for a long time, simply sitting atop his ikran, staring at the place you'd been standing in moments ago.
Eventually, he has to leave.
Eventually, he has to wake up.
His ikran takes off, dashes through the air. Once he's safely up in the sky, away from curious ears and peering eyes, he cries. He cries for you, allowing the wind to push his tears off his cheeks. He sobs as his soul breaks into pieces, cutting into his skin, making his heart feel raw and bruised.
The rain comes not long after. It mixes with his tears, adds to the pain. The cold rain makes his body even colder, the ghost feeling of you against his back unable to bring him any comfort.
He flies through the rain until he can feel his ikran become exhausted. Only then does he decide to return to the camp.
What's the difference between waking up without her and watching her walk away from me in real life?
There is no difference, he decides. I lose her either way.
-
The rain is falling down hard, the sky pouring as you finally reach headquarters. At first, the soldiers posted to the first watch raise their rifles at you, shouting at each other, but when you lift your hands in surrender and state your name, they let you in.
A check-up later, a warm bath, some clean clothes, and a small individual room in the infirmary, and you still feel...empty.
“They took me,” you'd lied. “Held me for days, captive. I found some clothes of theirs, stole them, ran off before they could realize it.”
But how untrue that was. You'd given yourself to the people, willingly joined their lives, their clan, their reality. And still, you felt nothing. You'd gotten nowhere. You were right where you started, an empty shell of a person that once existed.
That other you...she'd blossomed, like the gorgeous flowers in the jungle, bright and colorful, peaceful and adored by all. And who were you now? Blackened petals, dry from too much sun or soggy from too much rain. Dead either way. Empty. All color lost, all charm disappeared, all adoration only a shadow of what it once was.
You lay in your cot, staring up at the plain ceiling.
You were the best.
And who am I now? You wonder. If I was the best, how can I pretend to outdo myself? Or to even go back to what I was?
You force yourself to sleep. You have nightmares, mixes of your reality and your fears. Jake's touch ghosts over your skin, people are shooting all around you, you're falling off an ikran...
And suddenly, a blinding flash of light. You blink and you're standing elsewhere, away from the chaos and destruction and death of whatever was happening.
It's nighttime. The sky a dark black, stars everywhere, the moons visible. Plants glow all around you, little creatures chitter softly. For a moment, you're confused, lost. But then you realize where you are.
You're standing in that clearing in the forest, the same one where you saw Jake for the first time.
As you slowly walk toward your tomb, you find yourself staring at Jake's back as he sits in front of your headstone, murmuring unintelligibly.
You watch form a distance, eye the way his back is hunched, the way his ears are folded backward, his droopy tail resting beside him.
You can't make out what he's saying, can't understand him, but you can hear his tone. Melancholy, broken, soft sobs interrupting every other word. His shoulders shake and he covers his face with his hands, crying.
You want to walk over to him, to comfort him, to do something to push his pain away. But you dare not. You chose to left. Why are you playing with his emotions? You can't go back only to leave again. Wasn't dying and leaving him once enough? Did you truly have to do it again?
Guilt rushes over you, feeling like a river is flowing into your lungs, making you feel like you're drowning.
You startle awake, body shaking, tears on your cheeks.
It's fine, you tell yourself, it was just a dream. Nothing more. Just a nightmare.
-
Jake is sitting in front of your headstone again. He couldn't sleep, and he didn't know where else to go. So he's here, talking to you...trying to, at least. Talking to the person you used to be.
Branches and leaves rustle not far from where he sits, and someone walks out from between the foliage.
Neytiri. Her eyes are focused on Jake as she approaches, and he hastily pushes his tears away when he sees her.
“She left,” she states, sitting beside him.
He sighs softly. “Yes,” he replies, voice shaky.
“What happened?” she asks.
“She...she felt like this wasn't helping her find herself, so she decided she wanted to return to the Sky People,” Jake answers, clearing his throat to steady his voice.
Neytiri sighs. “And you let her go?”
Jake glances at her, confused. “She-she wanted to leave. Of course I had to let her...Who am I to force her to stay?”
Neytiri whacks him on the head. “Skxawng,” she accuses. “Why are you giving up with so much ease? You mourned her for years, Jakesully. And now that the Great Mother has returned her, you let her slip from your fingers.”
“She wanted to leave,” Jake insists, confused. “It wasn't helping her remember anything.”
Neytiri whacks him on the head again. “The problem is not that she wasn't remembering. The problem is that you two haven't looked for what can help her memory. You've been training and and teaching her, and that is good, it is part of her becoming one of the people; but you haven't sought out things that make her remember. Have you taken her to the places you two used to visit often? Have you told her stories of who she was? Have you tried introducing her to her past life? Or have you simply tried to drag her through this new life, hoping, by some miracle from Eywa, she remembers everything?”
Jake folds his ears back, ashamed. “No,” he mumbles. And right there, it's like he realizes how stupid he's been.
Skxawng, he snaps at himself. How could he not think of that? In your tent, and then on the top of that mountain, when he'd touched you, pulled you close...he'd felt something and he'd known you'd felt it, too. He could see recognition flashing in your eyes, could sense you allowing your walls to crumble for him. And he'd ignored it. He'd been so afraid of scaring you off, of pushing you away, that he'd kept himself at a distance and, by doing so, stumped your memory.
The first time you two had gone through this—through his entire time in the Avatar program and his process of becoming one of the Omaticaya—you'd been there. You'd been by his side every single step of the way. That was what you needed. That's why this wasn't working. You needed him by your side, and not only teaching you, but also behaving the same way he always had. By helping you with everything, flirting with you, treating you as kindly and friendly as he could. By showing you he loves you, and never letting you forget it.
But it's too late now. You're gone, probably already back at headquarters, far away from him. And he doubts you'll ever return.
“What do I do?” he asks Neytiri, desperate, broken eyes rising up to hers.
“You pray to Eywa, asking the Great Mother for one more chance to right your wrongs,” she responds with ease. “And this time, Jakesully, do not give up on your girl.”
------
Days pass.
Another check-up, breakfast, orders for you to rest. You don't care about anything, you're just glad they don't have you training or being interrogated about what happened.
You don't feel a thing. You lay on your cot, staring at the ceiling, knowing there's a part of you missing and hating that you can't get it back.
No one visits you except the nurse who occasionally shows to check your vitals and see if you need anything. No one else cares about you, no one else has even worried for you in this time that you've been gone.
But the Omaticaya people...
They'd mourned you. They'd been overjoyed when they saw you again. They'd been kind and patient, and they'd been constantly checking in on you, worrying for you, showing you they cared.
Why had you come back?
So what if I wasn't remembering anything? You scoff at yourself. I'd rather not know who I am and be surrounded by people who care, than to find myself and be surrounded by jackasses who barely even recognize me.
But to go back...to put yourself through that again, through all that training and all those custom practices and rituals, to think there's hope only to sink into desperation and frustration...It's too much. You don't think you can handle that amount of stress ever again. You can't be faced with the fact that you will never be able to remember who you were. It's too much pain, leaves you feeling emptier than you had in the beginning.
What about Jake?
Your heart soars at the thought. Jake. Jake with his ridiculous smile, his bashful little ears, his nervous tail. Jake with his stupid grin, his smooth laughs, his kind personality. Jake with the little touches he places on you while teaching you to use a bow, or when he helps you jump from tree to tree. Jake in your tent, when he'd hugged you, kissed you, whispered in your ear. Jake on top of the mountain, inching closer, pupils so dilated, you could only see a strip of amber on the outside. Jake. Jake and that feeling of before, like he's the only answer to everything, like only he can help you.
But can he? If it didn't work all these months, why would it work now?
I gotta take a chance, you decide. I have to risk it. What am I going to do here, rotting away in a cot, unloved, ignored, forgotten? I can at least try to find a family in the Omaticaya.
------
Night falls. Your nurse says goodnight, tells you she'll show at midnight to check up on you.
You nod, smile, thank her with empty words.
You count to a hundred after she leaves, and then you get up. You're dressed in a comfortable t-shirt and a pair of khakis, big black combat boots waiting under your bed.
You grab a knife you'd retrieved from your shared dorm earlier that day, and you hide it in the waistband of your pants. You pick the boots up, walking out of the nurse's ward, into the dark hall. You move as swiftly and quietly as you can, trying to remember all the stealth Jake has been teaching you.
You reach the exit, push the door open and quietly step out into the fresh Pandora night.
You keep to the shadows, ensuring to stay out of the line of sight of those who are on watch. You slide under helicopters, behind cargo boxes, past ATVs and entire shipments of weapons—the few that have made it to the base without being intercepted by the Omaticaya.
You can see the chain-linked fence not far from you, only a few feet and a quick climb and you'll be on the other side, free.
Your heavy boots are still in your hand, your ears attentive to the slightest sound. So you hear it. Light footsteps, following yours, getting closer and closer.
A soldier, trying to stop you? Someone about to drag you back to the nurse's ward?
When you hear the other person is close enough, you abruptly turn around, swinging your boots at them, hissing and baring your teeth.
The other person ducks away from your boots, rendering their hands up. “Whoa, whoa, it's okay. It's okay. It's just me.”
Jake.
He stands in front of you, eyes scanning over you, his ears folded back.
“Jake,” you exhale softly, relieved to see him. “What are you doing here?”
“Looking for you,” he replies, glancing over his shoulder back at the base, ensuring you two are alone. His eyes return to yours. “I was going to break in to get you out, but, uh, you kinda made this easier for me.”
You smile gently. “I was going to go back,” you tell him. You shake your head. “This place is horrible. It doesn't agree with me at all. And, even if around the Omaticaya I don't remember who I was, it's better than being here all on my own.” You pause, consider saying it, are about to confess, and at least I'll be with you, when the lights to the runway flash on.
An alarm starts blaring, people are yelling, and suddenly Jake is pulling you by the hand, to the fence. He drags you behind a few abandoned containers, rusted and rotting from the humidity, and you find a small opening in the fence.
He helps you through it before sliding out himself, and then you two are running through the forest, branches scratching at your arms and legs and face. You didn't get the chance to put your boots on, and you really don't need them, so you drop them on the floor, leaving them there.
Jake runs beside you, occasionally grabbing you by the wrist and tugging you in a different direction. You suppose he knows where he's going, he seems like he does, so you trust him.
It's a long while before the two of you slow to a stop. Far away from headquarters, finally free.
You lean against a tree, breathing heavily, adrenaline still coursing through your veins.
Jake glances over at you, his chest rising and falling with his thick breaths. Your eyes lock onto each other, refusing to look away.
You don't know if it's the adrenaline or the relief or the fact that you're finally with Jake again, but your entire body is surging with this ridiculous feeling of before.
Your skin tingles, your tail swishes from side to side, excited, and your heart speeds up in your ribcage.
The tension stretches in the air, feeling like a palpable entity that urges you toward Jake.
Already, you know you can't stop it from happening.
-
Jake's heart is in his ears, but not because of your escape.
You're looking at him with those big, sharp eyes, you pupils wide, your ears folded against your head.
He can feel something inside of him pulling him to you, as if you were an irresistible force, a natural phenomenon he cannot seem to stay away from, nor would he ever want to.
He steps toward you as you lean against the tree, slowly, carefully, gauging your reaction. He cups your face with a hand, places his other hand on your waist. You invite him in. Your arms wrap around his neck, your eyes falling to his lips, and he swears whatever measly ounce of self-control he had evaporates.
He leans in slowly, afraid you'll dissipate into thin air, and ghosts his lips over yours. You let out a little gasp, a small breath that sends shivers down his body. His grip on you tightens and he gently places his lips on yours.
Your kiss is quaint, careful, sweet and intoxicating and, fuck, Jake could die a happy man with knowing what your lips feel like.
Your arms pull him closer, pressing his chest against yours. You open your mouth, letting his tongue in, allowing it to trace over your gentle lips.
You shudder against him, your skin pricking with goosebumps at his touch. He tries to pull you closer, to hold you tight, hoping, begging, praying this isn't another one of those dreams of his, that he won't wake up to realize you're not real.
His lips leave yours, kissing your jaw, moving to your neck, right over your pulse, licking the skin there.
You let him. You let him kiss and lick and bite his way down to your collarbone, until his mouth finds the edge of your shirt and he glances at your face. His hands sneak under your shirt, caressing the skin of your torso, and he whispers, “Can I take it off?”
You sigh softly and nod. “Please.”
He is careful with the way he peels your shirt off, raising it over your head, helping you out of it. He tosses it to the ground, forgotten.
He couldn't care less about the shirt right now.
You stand before him, bare, beautiful, perfect.
He leans towards your chest, placing a soft kiss on your collarbone before moving his mouth to your breast. He kisses the soft swell of it, traces his tongue over your nipple before taking it into his mouth and sucking on it.
You let out a shaky exhale, your hands moving to his head, tangling your hands in his hair as he moves to your other breast and pays it the same attention.
You are perfect. Beautiful. Your body almost as breathtaking as your mind, as your heart, as your soul.
You are his end. His undoing. Everything that breaks him, everything that holds him together. You are his moons and his sun, the blood in his veins, the thoughts in his mind. You are everything to him, and he's glad your life intertwined with his; where would he be otherwise?
He kisses the valley between your breasts, lowering himself as his mouth trails down the center of your stomach. He kneels before you, his goddess divine, and gently nips at the edges of your pants.
You help him pull them down. You step out of them and kick them away.
Jake's heart stops beating in his chest as he looks up at you, naked. His hands hold onto your hips, his lips kiss your thighs, your lower stomach, admiring every inch of you.
Your breathing grows ragged, he can hear it, as he softly pulls one of your thighs over his shoulder.
Keeping his eyes on yours, he licks up your slit and then traces soft circles around your clit. You gasp gently, hips softly bucking against his tongue.
Your taste is sweet, addictive. He knows he'll never get enough of this—of you. He'll never grow tired of you, never have too much, never be satiated with what you give him. He will always need you, always want you, never take you for granted.
He slides one of his hands up your thighs, gently pushing his long, thick middle finger into you. You moan gently, urging him on, as he adds his ring finger, stretching you open.
His tongue focuses on your clit, sucking on it, flicking his tongue against it, making your body jerk and tremble.
He eats you out slowly, adoringly, savoring every single drop of you. He's almost afraid he'll never get to do this again, to love you, touch you, hold you, and he wants to commit every single detail to memory.
He curls his fingers, hitting that spot within you that makes you gasp and jerk, and he doesn't let up until you're shaking.
His tongue traces your clit, circling it, his eyes watching your face for your reactions. One of his hands massages your thigh as it rests on his shoulder, his fingers digging into the plump skin there.
Your hands fall to his head, fingers tangling in his hair, tugging at the thick locks. He groans, the sound making you whimper against him.
Your juices drip down his chin, coating him in your scent, and he can feel his cock—already hardened—start to leak precum from the sensitive tip.
He pulls his fingers out of you, licking them clean of your arousal, before he lowers his mouth so that his tongue can sneak into your sopping entrance.
You groan, grinding your hips on his face as he nuzzles his nose into your clit, his tongue maneuvering in and out of your warm entrance.
“There,” you gasp, fingers tugging at his hair. “There. Right there.”
He chuckles against you, making your hips buck, your legs jerk. He keeps your thighs spread open, his calloused hands kneading into the soft flesh.
He looks up at you through his eyelashes, his amber gaze famished, needy, wholly lustful.
He can feel the tremors that start washing through you, shaking you, as you moan and whine, begging Jake to let you reach your orgasm.
“A while longer, baby,” he says against your pussy, his words spilling right onto your skin. “Hold a while longer for me, okay?”
You try to hum your agreement between your gasps and moans as your body writhes beneath his touch and swift licks.
You keep your orgasm at bay, holding it back for as long as possible, trying to stay away from the burning ache that ripples through you.
Your body is quaking, your legs limp and boneless, your breathing constantly cut off by your loud, desperate moans.
“Fuck,” you cry. “Jake, I can't—Too much—!”
“Alright,” he says into you, “it's alright, baby. Go on, come for me.”
You gasp, your orgasm crashing through you, making your breath get caught in your throat. You cry Jake's name, your hips jerking, trying to pull away from his mouth as he continues to eat you out through your orgasm.
“That's my girl,” he praises softly, finally pulling his face away from your cunt, placing a few kisses on your thighs, softly bitting the skin there. “Such a good girl for me. There you go.”
You're breathing heavily, your body falling limp.
Softly, Jake pulls you down to him, leading you to straddle him. You kiss him, breathless, making his heart skip and his cock twitch against you. Your arms wrap loosely around his neck, your tongue traces over his bottom lip, your hips starting to grind down on his.
He groans into your mouth, his hands gripping onto your hips with so much force, he's afraid he'll bruise you.
One of your hands slithers down his chest, caressing the muscles there, before they dip lower, lower, lower, until you can push his loincloth to the side and wrap your fingers around his long, throbbing cock.
He gasps softly, the sound drowning into your kiss.
“We don't have to do this,” he tells you, pulling away from the kiss. “If you don't want to, we don't have to do this.”
“I want to do this,” you tell him as you kiss his neck, licking over his adam's apple, making him shudder under you. “Do you?”
He chuckles, but it's a thick, husky sound, a groan of pleasure and want. “Fuck, you've no idea,” he replies. You bite his neck, and he can feel your smile against his skin. His ears fold back and he exhales softly as you lick the spot over.
You guide his cock to your cunt, running the tip over your clit. He can feel how wet and warm you are, how you drip down his length.
Then, you lead his cock to your entrance and slowly lower yourself onto him, all the way until the tip touches your cervix.
You moan gently, fingers digging into his shoulders, and he groans, his hands moving to your ass and massaging the flesh.
For a moment, he considers making tsaheylu, offering you his queue and explaining what it means, but he hesitates for a second too long, and you start gyrating your hips, moaning softly. The pleasure overcomes him, and the idea dissipates, leaving behind a sense that he's swallowing down yet another thing he wants to say to you.
Jake kisses you, his hands guiding you up and down, your cunt tight around him. He cannot get enough of the sensation of your warm pussy, of your arousal as it drips down to his lower stomach and across his thighs.
You slide one of your hands down to your clit as you ride him, and he glances down, watching as you touch yourself.
He groans, a guttural sound that makes you shudder against him.
He moves one of his hands from your hip to your pussy, and grabs your hand in his, lifting it to his lips and placing a few kisses on your knuckles before wrapping your arm around his neck. Then, he returns his hand down between your bodies and uses his thick, rough thumb to draw tight circles around your clit, adding pressure until you're whining and jerking against the sensation.
Jake sighs against your neck before chuckling lowly, a sliver of his cockiness shining through. “Come on, baby, let me make you come again, hm? You gonna come on my cock for me, babygirl?”
“Yeah,” you mewl in response. “Fuck—Yes.”
He keeps his pace, thrusting up into you and circling your clit, both movements making you tighten around him with each passing moment.
He can tell you're close by the sounds you make, by how you clench his cock, by your nails digging into his shoulders.
“Don't stop,” you beg, breathless, closing your eyes and throwing your head back. “Please-please, don't stop.”
“I won't, baby,” he promises. “I'll give you everything you want, girl. I'll fuck you for as long as you want, however you need me.”
Your legs go limp, your grinds growing sloppy and weak, but Jake keeps up the pace, ensuring to push you to your edge.
You gasp as your orgasm washes over you, your body going taut for a second before the pleasure hits you and your release overcomes you. You exhale as you start climbing down from your high, but Jake keeps rutting into you, making the pleasure spark within you again.
“Jake-Jake—”
“I know, baby,” he says through clenched teeth. “I know it's too much. But can I come inside you? Can I fill this pretty pussy, girl?”
You whine, overstimulated, overly sensitive, but you nod. “Please, please, please,” you reply, each word accentuated with Jake's thrusts and rubs on your clit.
Jake can feel his release creeping up on him, like hot water rushing over his body, threatening to make him faint from the intensity.
Your fingers tangle in the hair at the back of his head, tugging softly, as you moan his name.
Jake groans. Fuck, he didn't know he liked his hair pulled until you did it.
He's close, so close. He can feel the incrementing sensations, the pleasure becoming almost too much. He can feel your hot pussy around his aching cock, one of your hands digging its nails into his shoulder, your other hand tugging his hair, your ass bouncing on his thighs.
And then your lips—your plump, soft, wet lips land on his neck, kissing him, licking him. Your tongue traces a path down to his collarbone and you bite him, hard, making him let out a low moan.
His orgasm is too close. He thrusts harder, faster, the fingers rubbing your clit grow uncoordinated, clumsy. Your cunt tightens around him, knocking the breath from his lungs.
“Jake, please,” you moan, desperately trying to match the movements of your hips to his desperate thrusts. “Please, I need you to fill me up. Fuck—please!”
You come again. For a third time. Whining and thrashing, body spasming against Jake. And he feels your juices, thick and sticky, gush over his cock. And it's the last straw for him.
“Fuck,” Jake growls, his orgasm finally rippling through him. He closes his eyes, folds his ears back, exposing his canines as he hisses softly, the pleasure so intense, it's almost painful. Almost.
His cum spurts inside of you, filling you, and slowly begins to drip out of you, down his length, mixed with your own arousal.
You're both breathing heavily, bodies growing limp, exhausted from the pleasure. He helps you up, allowing his softening cock to slip out of you. His cum pools out of you, and he gathers it with his fingers before lifting them to his mouth and sucking his digits clean.
You lie on the soft grass beside him, your chest heaving, your skin slick with sweat.
Jake lies beside you, brushing a few strands of hair off your face. “Y'alright, baby?” he asks softly, placing a gentle kiss to your temple.
“Yes,” you reply, voice a little hoarse from the sex. “Just worn out.”
He pulls you toward him, cradling your naked body against his.
I love you.
The words echo in his mind, surging from his heart up his throat, dancing on the tip of his tongue—
“Thank you for helping me out of headquarters,” you say quietly, a little drowsy. “You didn't have to come looking for me, and you did. So...thank you. It-it meant a lot to me, Jake.”
“It was no biggie,” he replies, trying to dismiss your flattery even though your words make his heart race, his breath quicken. “I...I had to get you back.”
There's a small pause before you question, “Why?”
Because I love you.
“I, uh...” He licks his lips nervously, summoning the courage to say those words. “I...I just couldn't...leave you there. I woulda missed you too much,” he half-jokes.
Fucking idiot. Just tell her.
“I really appreciate it, Jake,” you say again. “Thank you.”
Jake can feel you dozing off in his embrace, your breathing growing slow and steady. He glances at your beautiful face, at the little luminescent freckles across your skin, at your long eyelashes, your sweet lips...
You're so fucking perfect...
I love you.
He falls asleep without saying it. He figures, I've kept it quiet for years, what's one more day without telling her?
Warnings: Angst, and angst, and angst. Really at this point I'm just being mean. Uh, a little fluff. Slow burn. Yup, that's about it.
You needed to take a step back and regroup your thoughts. You were torn. You felt uncomfortable in the clan, like you were invading their home, but a little pebble in your heart felt like you belonged.
So, you retreated into a tent of your own. That's where you sit now, arms around your knees, mind and heart at war over what you should do next.
You want to be here. Really, you do. You like this place. You like the atmosphere, you like the freedom, you like the peace, you like how you fit in.
And the people...they only add to that sense of belonging. Especially since they all seem overjoyed to have you back. Everyone's tried talking to you, tried having conversations or simply greeting you, but you can't keep up. It takes you a while to understand, let alone to respond without messing up your words. And the fact that they all talk over you, over each other, only makes it that much more difficult to communicate. But the way they treat you, the way they're patient with you, the way they slow their talking to help you...it makes you feel accepted, cared for.
You really must've been a good person for them to care about you like this.
Can I be that person again?
Jake told you about his idea. “Maybe,” he'd said, “if we keep you around the Omaticaya, your memory will come back.”
You'd frowned. “What do the Omaticaya have to do with my memory?”
He'd hesitated, tail slowly moving from side to side. “Once, before, you told me being around the Omaticaya was the only time you'd felt at peace,” he'd informed you.
That had been enough for you to agree.
As you think about the conversation, someone calls your name from outside the tent—Jake.
“Can I come in?” he asks.
“Yeah,” you answer him.
He walks into your tent, holding a few items in his hands. He looks at you, sitting on the ground, and wordlessly lowers himself beside you.
“You know you don't have to stay if you don't want to,” he tells you gently. “You can back out any second; no one will think less of you for it.”
You smile at him softly. “It's not that I don't want to stay,” you admit. “I just...I don't know who I am. It's like there are two of me—the one who belongs here, and the one who belongs with the humans.”
He raises a hand to your face, pushes a strand of hair aside. Your ear flicks at the feeling of his skin on yours. “What do you feel like you should do?”
You sigh quietly. “I...I think I should—”
“No,” he cuts you off. “Don't think it through, the mind is too afraid of taking risks even if it's for the better. What do you feel you should do?”
You glance at him, keeping your eyes on his, your heart speeding up at how wide his pupils get every time he looks at you.
What do I feel like I should do?
You imagine yourself going back to headquarters, falling back into the mundane routine, sitting for meals where you don't belong and everyone can tell, lying in a cold bunk in a room full of people who are so different from you, it makes you feel like you're broken.
You imagine just returning. Pretending you never ran into Jake in the first place. Pretending he doesn't make you feel like that before is right there, on the surface, for you to just grab. Pretending you won't compare your fellow military to the Omaticaya people. Pretending you can be happy while oppressed by the humans' unkindness, by their thirst for revenge, their destructive ambition.
How could you ever pretend to not feel that you belong here? How could you ever go back to what your life was when you've seen the life you can have here?
“I feel like staying,” you inform Jake.
His eyes shine, a smile slowly growing on his lips. “I'm glad,” he tells you, quietly, as his tail swings excitedly. His eyes fall to the items in his hands and he seems to realize just now that he has them. “Uh, here,” he tells you, clearing his throat. “These are for you. It's...it's a loincloth and one of those, uh, beady-top...thingies.”
You blink at him, glancing down at the items in his hands. “Oh, uh, okay. Thanks,” you tell him, accepting the attire.
He nods softly, standing up, his eyes not leaving yours. “I'll...be waiting outside. If you need anything, like help with your clothes or—” he cuts himself off, looking flustered. “I mean, not that I—Not that—Purposely, I wouldn't—I'll just be outside if you need anything.”
He walks out of your tent, leaving you there on your own, trying to figure out how to put these clothes on.
-
Jake stands outside your tent, making a face at himself.
Stupid, he thinks. Stupid, stupid, stupid. How are you going to tell her you'll help her get dressed? Way to make her feel comfortable around you, idiot.
He sighs at himself. He's trying to be nice to you, he's trying to do everything right in hopes that you'll fall for him. He's trying to be perfect for you, but he just can't seem to keep his brain in his skull when he's around you. It's like you're some sort of divine phenomenon that messes with his head, that severs the connection between his brain and the rest of his body, and leaves him to follow nothing but his heart.
His ridiculous heart that is racing within his chest, making his tail swish erratically, forcing his breaths to become hurried and irregular.
He hears you inside the tent, cursing softly, huffing at yourself, sighing, groaning in frustration. He understands that perfectly. When he first had to put a loincloth on, it was hell.
It's a long while that he stands there, waiting for you to walk out. But you never do. You simply continue sighing, huffing, cursing.
Eventually, you call his name.
“Jake?” You sound almost timid as you speak.
His heart leaps, his stomach somersaulting. “Yeah?” he calls back, his ears hyper focused on you.
“I...I can't get this on,” you mutter.
He feels his heart speed up even more. How is that even possible? How is he not dead with how fast his pulse is?
“Do you want me to get Neytiri to help you?” he offers, fiddling with his fingers anxiously.
“Uh...I mean, I'd prefer it if you could help me, but if you can't...”
He can barely hear you after that. His heart is loud in his ears. He can hear his own breathing, too. His mind spins, his tail swooshes, and he can feel nervous excitement lick over his body.
“I can help you,” he tells you softly, gently pushing his way into the tent. You stand in the center, your now-bare back to him, holding the loincloth up around your hips.
Jake feels the breath leave his lungs. I'm dead, he thinks to himself. I'm dead and gone to Eywa. There is no earthly creature alive that's this beautiful...
He approaches you carefully, terrified of doing anything to make you uncomfortable or to scare you off.
He places his hands over yours, on your hips, and gently slips his fingers past yours to grab the thin string of the loincloth. You flinch gently, your tail swishing with unease. His fingers skim the skin of your hips as he ties the string softly, gently. He traces your hips, his heart jumping out of his chest and into his throat, the feel of your body sending shivers up his spine. The feeling is ethereal, unreal, wonderful and terrifying. He can't believe you're here. He can't believe he's touching you. He can't believe Eywa has blessed him like this.
When he's done with the loincloth, he asks, “The top?”
You point at the ground a few feet in front of you. “Left it there,” you reply, a mere whisper, almost as if you, too, were afraid of breaking this atmosphere.
Jake walks past you, picking the item up and turning back to you. His eyes avoid your naked body even though you've covered yourself from him.
He stands behind you again. He gently brushes your hair aside with one hand, sliding it over your shoulder before wrapping the string of the top around your neck. You shudder as his fingers touch your shoulders and slide across to your neck. He ties the top, quietly questioning, “Is it too tight?”
You shake your head, a miniscule movement. “No. It's good,” you answer, your voice so low, he won't be able to hear you if he breathes any harder.
The outfit is done. You're all dressed. He has no reason to keep his hands on you, but he can't help it. It's like something takes over him, keeping him behind you, making it impossible for him to leave. His fingers skim down to your shoulders again, caressing you there, before sliding down your arms until his hands find yours and he intertwines your hands with his.
And it seems whatever's taken over him is possessing you as well. You lean towards his touch, lightly resting your back against his chest, letting his chin fall to your shoulder. His breath fans on your neck, and you're too close to not kiss.
So he kisses you. On the shoulder, softly, shyly, carefully. You shudder again, letting his lips explore you.
His mouth moves up to your neck, trailing the path with kisses and little licks. Your skin is hot on his mouth, goosebumps pricking your body. He wraps his arms around your waist, his fingers still intertwined with yours. He pulls you closer, and you allow it.
He's so privileged, he decides. He's so privileged for you to let him kiss you, and hold you, and dress you. He's so privileged to have met you in the first place. He's so privileged to have gotten to know you. He's so privileged to have fallen in love with you. He's so privileged for Eywa to have returned you.
He's so privileged to be with you in reality and not just in another one of his dreams.
His mouth traces the sharp tip of your ear, making you sigh softly. Your tail curls around his calf, your hands squeezing his.
He moves his lips back to your neck, gently bites down on the skin there, and you jerk slightly.
“Jake,” you whisper, and he hums in response as his lips kiss under your jaw. “Did you go to that place—the one I found you in today—only to visit my tomb?”
His little kisses on your jaw and neck stop. His ears fold back as he replies, “Yes.”
He can feel the way you breathe heavily. He can sense your pulse. Your entire body starts racing, your breaths growing thicker, your heart speeding.
“Why?” you ask him, still whispering.
“I...I couldn't let you go,” he admits, closing his eyes with force, still terrified this is a dream, still fearing he'll wake up soon and find you're six feet too far.
“Why?” you insist, almost as if you know there's something he's not telling you.
Because I love you.
His tail flicks anxiously. “I...You were one of the most important people in my life,” he says instead.
But he's holding back so much.
You were my entire world. You were what kept me going. You were home. You were happiness. When I lost you, I lost everything. The only way I could ever be close to you while I was awake was by visiting your final resting place. You were gone without saying goodbye, and I was left confessing to your headstone everything I should have told you.
“I guess I just...had a lot of things to say, and not enough time to say them,” he adds, his lips right beside your ear. “I was hoping you'd hear me. Hoping you'd grant me closure and found your own.”
Your ears fall back against your head and you softly say, “It seems to me like it didn't work.”
You don't say it unkindly, but the atmosphere slowly cracks and falls away, leaving both of you starkly aware of how neither of you is in control in this moment. It's like the force that possessed you drifts off, seeping out of your bodies and reminding you that you're both strangers to one another, not friends, and barely acquaintances.
Slowly, Jake releases you and you step away from him. You turn to face him and quietly offer, “Thanks for helping me with...” You gesture at your new attire.
“Yeah, it's-it's no problem,” he replies. His eyes take a quick once-over of you, and he smiles gently. “You look so pretty,” he says softly, blushing a little.
You smile back, bashful. “Thanks.”
He stands there for a while longer, trying to stretch out the moment, trying to make it last forever.
He has to wake up eventually.
“Come on, I'll give you a little tour to help you get an idea of your surroundings,” he tells you, nodding for you to follow as he ducks out of your tent.
------
The people are so kind, you're surprised by it every time. As Jake leads you around the clan, the people wave at you, smiling; little kids run to you, hugging you, leaping at you, talking to you in Na'vi too fast for you to understand, so Jake translates and helps you communicate with them.
The fact that the clan has hoards of modern weapons—guns, rifles, grenades—does not escape your attention. You remember hearing word at headquarters about shipments being intercepted, weapons stolen...
Apparently, it was their doing.
The Omaticaya have the power to attack the humans, and yet...they never have.
Bloodthirsty blue monkeys. Savages, animals, beasts, monsters.
Wasn't that what they had told you about the Na'vi?
Lies, lies, lies. Because from what you can see, these people are the kindest, sweetest beings you've ever met. They're patient, benevolent, soft with the way they behave around you. It's like they know what you've been through and are simply trying to help you, to tell you, it's okay, you're safe with us.
As eclipse nears, Jake takes you on his ikran, up to the top of one of the Hallelujah Mountains for you to look over the entirety of Pandora in all its splendor during dusk.
As you sit beside him, caressing the gentle pasture that grows on the surface of the rock, you wonder, “What were you like before?”
He glances at you, his ears twitching with every call of animals from far below. “Before what?” he asks, eyes studying you closely.
You meet his gaze. “On earth,” you clarify. “Who were you?”
Jake sighs softly, turning his eyes to the landscape. “Marine,” he replies. “Ex-marine, actually. I...sustained an injury to my spine, lost motor in both my legs.” He shrugs. “I started the Avatar program in hopes of going back to earth and getting the funds necessary for my surgery. I found a home here instead.”
You look at him, amazed. Found a home here instead. Somewhere, deep in your mind, those words resonate with you, as if it weren't the first time you've heard them.
“Did I...Was I able to find my home here, too?” you question.
Jake's eyes flutter over to you and you can see he hesitates.
-
Yes, Jake wants to tell you. Yes, you did. You found a home here, and you helped me find mine.
You had been the first one to make this place your home, to find everything you'd been looking for in here. He'd simply followed after you. But you don't remember it, none of it, and he's not sure it's a good idea to give you answers to questions he isn't in a position to respond. You have to find your own answers, and he doesn't want to get in the way of you making up your own mind.
He sighs, doesn't answer.
-
“Jake?” you insist, eyeing him.
“I don't know,” he finally replies. “I...I like to think that you did, but you never got the chance to tell me if you did or if you didn't.”
I died before I could decide, you think to yourself.
What others things had you missed? What other plans did your death cut off? How many opportunities has been robbed from you because of your death?
“Oh,” you say softly.
Jake releases a tiny exhale. “I'm sorry I can't give you the answers you need,” he offers. “I wish I could help you more, but...”
Your eyes move to him again. He could help you. In your tent, when he'd held you, touched you, kissed you...it was almost like some part of you knew something, remembered something from before, and you'd felt...safe in his arms. Like a piece of the puzzle had fallen into place—like the only piece that mattered had been found.
“Don't worry about it,” you say instead. “Bringing me here, to the Omaticaya people, hoping to jumpstart my memory...That's more than enough, Jake. Truly.”
He glances over at you and places a large hand over yours. A little shock goes through you, warming your skin. You lean in a little, considering placing your head on his shoulder, but you stop yourself.
No, don't push it.
-
Jake feels you lean in. He can sense the ghost of your head against his shoulder, can feel his arm around you, can sense himself pressing a kiss to your forehead.
But he sees you stop short, hesitating over it, not leaning against him.
His heart squeezes itself as pain scorches it, fueled by anger towards the Sky People for taking you from him in the first place and returning a version of you that's troubled, uneasy, constantly at war with herself...He's never hated them more than he does now.
He gives your hand a gentle squeeze and moves to release your hand from his grip, but your hand races after his and holds onto him.
His eyes race to you and he finds that you look as surprised as he feels.
-
What. The. Fuck.
Your mind thinks of nothing more than those three words. Your hand stays on his for a few seconds, but it feels like years, until you seem to regain control of your limbs and release his hand.
“Sorry—” you start, ears folding back, but as soon as your hand is off his, Jake grabs you again.
Your eyes snap up to his, and he holds your gaze as he intertwines your fingers. Your heart skips various beats, your ears jumping to attention as you look at him.
He leans in, lips coming dangerously close to yours, and your heart races even more.
“I don't wanna fuck this up,” Jake whispers at you. “I don't wanna scare you off. But I...” He clears his throat. “I've missed you so much. And I have too many things to say. And...I'm terrified...”
Terrified they'll take me away again before you can say everything you need to tell me?
“You don't know me,” you whisper, eyes falling down to Jake's lips before meeting his amber gaze again. “You...don't know me.” And the second time you say it, it's like you realize it.
You pull away from him—well, you mean to, but you fail when Jake whispers your name.
“I do know you,” he says quietly. “I know you.”
-
I love you, he thinks to himself. Please let me be with you, let me love you, let me hold you. You don't understand how much I've missed you. I know you feel this, too.
And he can see you're allowing yourself to fall into him, to give in to whatever this pull is. You let him tug you closer, let one of his hands rise to your face and cup your cheek, rub over your cheekbone...His other hand holds yours tightly, fingers intertwined. His lips inch closer to yours, amber eyes scanning your gaze for any signs of hesitance, anything that tells him you don't want this.
But the way you look at him with those big eyes, widened pupils, the last rays of day shining in your irises...You're wordlessly asking him to kiss you, almost inviting him to you, and he can't say no.
He has every intention of doing it, of kissing you and holding you close and telling you he loves you. He's not in control of his mind anymore, not in control of his hands or his racing heart or his ragged breaths. He can only feel himself leaning towards you, aching for you, finally...finally...he feels he has you.
Eclipse falls. The day's light flashes away. Animals call to each other in the forest, the wind whistles through the leaves. He can't pay attention to anything but his thumping pulse, and then...
A soft sound, familiar, echoes through the air and reaches both of you. A howl, a little more high-pitched, a silent message traveling through the forest.
Your ears perk at the sound, his do too.
It takes Jake a moment to get rid of the haze that blurs his mind, but once he does, he realizes that you two have to get back.
His ears fold back, he sighs. “They're calling everyone back,” he tells you, releasing you from his grip, feeling the cold air rush over him at the loss of contact with your skin. “We've implemented curfews 'cause of the Sky People, to prevent any incidents with them, so we all have to be back by eclipse. And that's the sign that curfew is beginning.”
Your ears fall, your tail ceasing it's nervous swishing and resting against the rock. “Right,” you say, clearing your throat. Then, sounding completely unaffected by what just happened, you question, “Have there been many nighttime attacks from the humans?”
Jake swallows down everything he wanted to tell you. He swallows down the need to kiss you. He swallows down the ache he's been harboring all these years for you.
He shrugs and replies, “A few. Nothing too serious, but we prefer to prevent even the slightest accidents.”
You nod slowly, your eyes avoiding his.
Fuck, Jake curses in his mind. Fuck, fuck, fuck. Why do I wait so long? I'm gonna lose her again if I keep waiting. Fuck.
“Let's go,” he says, his ears still folded back, as he stands. He offers you a hand to help you up, but you get to your feet on your own. He leads you back to his ikran and helps you on it before hopping up himself.
The animal takes to the sky. Even though your arms are around him and your body leans against his, something in Jake has never felt as far from you as he does now.
Warnings: Angst, again. Slight depictions of death. Again, you don't remember anything about who you were. Tbh, idk what else to warn you about, so I think that's about it.
You were confused, to say the least. Lost. Upset. You'd had Toruk Macto right there, but he'd gotten away. You'd failed the mission. It got you in a bad mood. But that wasn't all of it. Something inside you, a little rock lodged right into your heart, incessantly demanded you listen to it, but whenever you tried to make sense of it, you felt the idea slip away from you, leaving you grasping in darkness.
Toruk Macto. Jake Sully.
Traitor. Liar. Enemy...
How does he know your name?
It only adds to the confusion, making that little pebble in your heart grow until you can't think of anything else.
You sit for dinner at headquarters, surrounded by fellow soldiers who have also been transferred into their new Na'vi bodies. Everyone talks and jokes, speaks of their day, but you don't join in the conversation. If you're honest much, you never join them. You don't fit in this group; you know that as well as them. You always have. Since day one, you've been aware that they and you are very distinct, too different to have conversations beyond mere Hellos and Goodbyes.
And yet, you're sworn to the same job as them, the same duty, the same pressure. You all have one single goal: Jake Sully.
You are to find him, bring him in, dead or alive. Either way, the higher authorities don't care. Just as long as he's not out there anymore, they say, it's a job well done.
And you'd had him today. He was right there, a mere swing of your machete away.
You recall the way he'd pulled the knife out, looking completely intent on killing you, but then, he's turned away and ran.
He spared you. Why?
You grab your head in frustration, an ache spreading between your eyes. You've tried and tried and tried to figure it out all day, but you reach no significant conclusion. And it only further enrages you.
You go to bed, feeling angry, alienated from everyone and everything, confused, exhausted...
Maybe that's why you dream what you do.
You're standing in the middle of the forest, surrounded by Pandora's wildest foliage. It's quiet, but you can feel the tense atmosphere, can smell sulfur and smoke and gunpowder in the air. Blood fills your nostrils, too. Although it's not you that's hurt.
You glance around, studying the wildlife, and you see someone on the ground, a few feet from you, covered in blood. A human. Small, fragile...dead.
Even as you near her, you know. She's long gone. There's too much blood on her, too many wounds, to suppose she can be saved.
As you approach her, someone runs out from between a few trees, stepping over bushes, pushing leaves aside.
Jake Sully.
A younger Jake Sully, painted for war, dirty with smoke and soil, eyes wild.
You reach for the knife at your hip, but there is none. And he doesn't seem to see you, anyways.
His eyes fall on the human woman on the floor. You can see the way he cracks, the way something in him dies.
He whispers her name...
Your name.
Confused, you watch as he rushes to the body and grabs it in his arms. The woman's face is revealed—it's you. You, in your human body, small, bruised, bloody. Dead.
Jake Sully sobs over you, holding you tight, pushing your hair off your face, cupping your cheek in his hand, tracing his thumb over your cheekbone.
He cries, he yells, he curses. You watch, astounded, confused.
Why is he crying over you? Why is he grieving for you?
“Eywa, please,” he sobs, looking up at the sky, tears streaking down his face. His shoulders shake, his body trembles. “If you need to take a life, take mine. Not hers. Please.”
Your ears fold back as you watch, your heart shocked into admiration and...and a strange feeling that blooms within you that you can't exactly pinpoint. But it's something strong, something from before.
This isn't the first time you've had this sort of feeling. It happens when you're in headquarters and someone gives you something of yours that belonged to you before you were brought back. It happens when you watch a movie, or see a picture, or hear a song that the you from before—the you that Jake Sully is currently wailing for—had already seen or heard or sung. It's something that reminds you that you had an entire life before this one, that you are currently existing as only a sliver of who you were.
That's what this feeling is like. It's from before. Something important enough that it transfered itself into this new you. And for a reason, you presume.
You can't look away. Can't turn your face from your dead body or from Jake Sully's pain. You watch, hurt, confused, still feeling this odd, instinctiveness from before, as he hugs you.
“I'm sorry,” he cries, kissing your eyelids, your forehead. “I'm sorry.”
A sudden thought explodes in your mind, shifting your balance, making the ground beneath your feet crumble.
Is this how I really died?
A wind whispers through the trees, rustling the leaves, caressing the grass.
“My child,” a voice hums, carried by the breeze, echoing against the wildlife.
Startled, you look around, but find no one.
The voice continues, “See the truth, my daughter. Trust me. Do not continue down the alien's path of destruction. Be like Jakesully. Follow your strong heart, your kind soul, your rightful mind. Do not be like the Sky People. Be like my Na'vi children who have learned to live in the way of peace. Only then will you find happiness and a home to belong in.”
The sound of someone coughing wakes you from the dream, pulling you out of the beautiful wilderness and back to your bunk in headquarters.
You sit up, glancing around in the dark, confused. It takes you a while to fall back asleep, but as you do, you keep wondering. Is that how you died? If so, Jake Sully didn't kill you. He found you already dead.
Just like he'd said, you realize.
And...he'd grieved for you. He was hurt. In pain. Torn. Because you died.
Why would he care about you if he was the cruel, lying traitor the humans told you about?
Were they lying to you? About your death, about who you were, about Jake Sully...? If so, what else were they lying about?
The next morning, as soon as you wake up, you decide that there is no one you can trust. Not the humans. Not the militia. Not the Na'vi.
No one but yourself.
-----
It's a few days later that you're sent out again, on your own, to look for the traitor.
This time, you're actually looking for him. Last time, you'd mostly been wandering about, admiring the nature that surrounded you, completely raptured by the beautiful, mysterious life forms.
Now, you're only out looking for Jake Sully.
You still haven't made your mind up about what you're going to do when—if—you find him. But the more you think it over, the less convinced you are to kill or hand him in.
You return to the place you found him in a couple days ago. A small opening in the forest, full of flowers and little creatures and newborn trees. You crouch as you approach the place, eyes alert, ears perked. You sniff around, smell nothing. It seems you are alone.
You are about to turn away, go in a different direction, when you catch sight of something.
A small piece of ground, covered in abundant flowers and grass, leaves, surrounded by blossoming wildlife. And in the center, a small rock with engravings—a tombstone.
So that's what he was doing here, you realize.
You walk towards the spot, keeping your senses peeled for any signs of someone approaching. You reach the tombstone and read over the words engraved on the surface. Your heart drops.
It's your tombstone. It's your name on it, your body beneath it, the words A soul like no other engraved there for you.
Jake Sully was here for you.
A wave of confusion flutters through you, followed by that feeling from before, and you feel sick. You have the sudden urge to disappear, to run away from everything. You hate that you don't understand this feeling, you hate that you can't remember anything from before, and it makes you want to crawl out of your skin.
You are about to call in one of the choppers, have them pick you up and take you back to headquarters so you can lock yourself up in the medic ward and simply sleep the rest of the day off. But the sound of a creature flying above you startles you.
You look up and catch sight of one of those reptile-like birds. You recognize the animal, its color, its call.
It's Jake Sully's.
And if it's here, it probably means Jake Sully is on it.
You retreat behind a few bushes, making sure to hide yourself from view, just as the animal lands.
As you'd suspected, Jake Sully hops off, petting the animal on the beak before he walks to your burial site. He sits on the ground in front of your tombstone, legs crossed, ears folded back.
You hold your breath as he begins to speak.
“I'm...confused,” he admits, his voice trembling slightly. “Part of me had gotten over...losing you. But another part of me never let go of the hope that you would come back...And you have.” He chuckles softly, sadly. “But you don't even know me. You don't recognize me. You want nothing to do with me, and I guess that...either way, I've still lost you. I still can't get you back. Almost as if I can't have you, no matter where you are.”
You frown, tail swishing anxiously as you eavesdrop.
“I don't know what's worse,” he admits. “Losing you to Eywa, or getting back a version of you that doesn't know me.”
Something within you stings, making you grimace at yourself, your ears flattening against your hair.
“I still...I still need to try,” he continues. “I still have to try to get you back. I-I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I gave up just because I was afraid.” He sighs. Glancing up at the sky, he prays, “Please, Eywa. Whatever I've done wrong, ever, just...let me make up for it. But don't make me lose her again to pay for what I've done. I can't lose her again.” He lowers his voice to a whisper, “It'll kill me.”
You shouldn't be here. You know. But the morality of this—or lack thereof—doesn't truly bother you. What bothers you is how you feel inside. It's oddly thick, painful, the feeling from before growing until you're drowning in it. You have to get away, have to run and disappear and never come back.
As you retreat slowly, you trip on a rock. You stumble a little, lose your balance, hiss softly.
Jake Sully doesn't notice. His ikran does.
The animal's eyes snap to you and it starts squawking, startling Jake who glances at the creature as it flaps its wings. The man's eyes follow the animal's gaze and they skim over the bushes that hide you.
You've got nowhere to run. A single move will alert him of your position, and he'll catch you before you get far.
Remaining still is the only hope you have left.
But then, he stands and walks toward you. You curse in your head, beg that he doesn't find you. He approaches, eyes careful, ears searching. You try to calm your breathing, to silence your racing heart, but to no avail.
Jake Sully walks until only the bushes separate you from him. You stay as still as possible, frozen in place, terrified that he'll find you.
And then a creature, some small critter, races past you—over you, actually, leaping onto your shoulder before running off. You gasp in surprise, body jerking, and it's then that you know you're done.
Jake steps through the bushes, pushing the leaves aside, and his eyes fall to you as you remain on the ground, sheepish.
He looks confused for a split second before his gaze turns into awe. He breathes your name as he had the other day, looking mesmerized. His eyes shine, pupils wide, and he refuses to look away from you.
“What are you doing here?” he questions, reaching down to you to help you up.
You push his hand away. “If you must know, I'm looking for you,” you spit, standing on your own.
His ears fall back. “To kill me?” he asks.
The reply is on the tip of your tongue, ready on your lips, but his words echo in your mind.
“If you need to take a life, take mine. Not hers. Please.”
He was willing to die for you. Telling him you're here to kill him...you never were one to be cruel.
“I should be,” you reply, and elaborate no further.
A small smile tugs at his lips. “So you're not going to kill me?”
You huff and cross your arms, shrugging. “Maybe not.”
“What can I do to ensure you don't kill me?” he asks, almost playful.
You narrow your eyes at his, debating with yourself. Should you or should you not tell him that you need some things answered? That you need to know who you were? That you have to find out what this feeling from before is? That you can't live without understanding why he mourned you?
“I need...to figure some things out,” you tell him. “And I...” You hesitate. Is it wise to tell him you need him to in order to understand everything? Is it a good idea to admit that somehow, he gives off that feeling of before? As if he is the missing clue that can lead you to the answers.
“You want me to help you figure them out?” he finishes for you, eyes glowing.
You don't answer him. “You...recognize me,” you state. He nods and you continue. “Is it because you...used to know me?”
He swallows thickly. “I...knew you, yes,” he replies, but the answer is strained, as if he has more to say and has to physically repress it.
You get the sudden image of him cradling your body in his arms, crying, holding you tight as if that would bring you back.
“Did I know you?” you question.
His ears fall back, face falling a little. “You don't remember me at all, do you?”
You grit your teeth. “Should I?” you demand, not really upset, only embarrassed that you can see he's hurt and that you're the cause of it.
-
Jake feels something inside of him crack. Should you remember him? He's not sure. Did you ever care about him like he loved you? Was it all in his head? Maybe that's why you don't remember him. Maybe he wasn't important to you, and that's why you've no notion of him.
“I was just curious,” he replies, shrugging as if it were no big deal. Under the surface, his heart tears itself into pieces, recoiling away from the pain.
There's still hope, a little voice says in his mind, refusing to give you up. She's here with you. All you have to do is help her remember.
“Can you or can you not help me?” you question, crossing your arms.
I don't know, Jake thinks, anxiety clawing at his stomach. I'm not sure I can help you remember. I'm not sure if you'll want to. I'm not sure—
He can't lose you. Not again.
“If you want me to help you, I can,” he answers. He hopes it's true.
“I—Yes, I want you to help me,” you reiterate, nodding. That's another thing he's always loved about you. You say what you want to say, when you need to say it. You know how to set your pride aside, and that's something he's always admired.
He stares at you for a moment, awed by you, amazed, dizzy with love. And he wonders: “Why me, though? Is no one else back at headquarters able to help you? Why resort to looking for help from a traitor?”
He watches you closely, studying your reaction. Your eyes don't meet his, and your tail swishes anxiously.
“You're the first person who I feel might've known me,” you answer. “So many others say they remember me, but...I-I'm not sure it's true. It feels like they barely recognize me, and they have a hard time remembering my name. But you,” you glance up at him then, eyes almost glowing, “you know my name. You recognized me the moment you saw me. And I guess...” You shrug softly. “I guess I just need someone to tell me who I was.”
He smiles softly, gently, warmly. Fuck, he loves you. So bad.
“For what it's worth, there's a whole bunch of people who knew you,” he informs you. Your expression remains the same, but he can see by the way your ears perk and the way your tail swings that he's caught your attention.
“Take me to them,” you command, raising an eyebrow. A smirk draws itself on his lips. You frown at him. “What?” you demand.
He tilts his head to the side a little, his hair falling over his face. “Still so bossy,” he hums, grinning.
You narrow your eyes at him. You watch his face for a while, studying him. He waits for you, gives you the time you need to figure out whatever it is you're thinking of.
“How well did you know me?” you ask him.
He sighs softly. “Well enough,” he replies.
You raise an eyebrow. “Well enough for...?” you trail off, as if indicating he should finish the sentence.
Well enough to love you.
He avoids the question. “We should get going,” he tells you. “I'm supposed to get back to the clan soon, or they'll have warriors out looking for me.”
Your tail quirks, softly, gently. “Okay,” you say, and he can tell you noticed he didn't finish the phrase. Your eyes flicker over his shoulder, rest on a spot for a second before you look back at him. “You come here often?”
His tail flicks, nervous. He knows, he just knows, your eyes are on the tombstone. He wonders if you know it's yours...His ears fold back, his eyes rapidly searching yours for a sign that hints where you're going with the question.
He decides it's best to be honest. After all, if he wants you to trust him, to love him, he can't go around lying to you. Not when the Sky People have done enough of that already.
“Yeah,” he says, rubbing his neck, shrugging a little, looking embarrassed. He wonders if you heard what he said at your tomb...
You glance over his shoulder again, and this time, he turns to follow your gaze. The only thing he can see is your headstone, mossy with life, surrounded by flowers.
When he turns back to you, he finds your expression has softened. You look vulnerable, almost as if you're hurt, weakened. You gently question, “Was I...a good person?”
His eyes lock on yours. You don't look away.
He tries to help it. Really, he does. But it's been years, and he needs to feel your skin with his again. He grabs one of your hands in one of his, his other hand rising to your face and cupping your cheek. “You were the best,” he answers, his voice a whisper.
Your skin is so warm, so soft. He's missed it too much. His wildest dreams could never fully captivate what it's like to touch you.
Something flashes in your eyes, something like recognition, and you stay there for a moment, staring at him.
His heart is racing, his adrenaline coursing through his veins, his stomach is dancing, butterflies fill his throat. He wants to say something else—
I See you.
And I always have.
I love you.
And I always will.
There's so much he wants to tell you—but he doesn't.
The look disappears from your gaze and you pull away from his touch, leaving him cold, feeling like he's woken up from another of his dreams only to realize you're too far for him to reach.
“You said we had to go already. I don't want to waste any time,” you inform him.
He nods, his lips pursing into a thin line. Somewhere inside of him, his heart suffers another crack that resonates through his body and leaves him feeling empty.
-
He touches you. He tells you that you were the best.
And those words, they ignite something in you. A flash of something. You can hear laughter in your ears, can feel a warm atmosphere making your skin damp with sweat, can sense that before feeling blossoming in your chest.
You can hear someone tell you, “You are the best.”
The memory feels so close, like you can just reach out and grab it in your hand, cradle it against your chest and see it with clarity. But you wait a second too long; the memory disappears, the sensation dissipates, and you're left staring at Jake, at a stranger, as he holds you like you're the most precious thing in this world.
You move away from him, taking a step back, freeing yourself from his touch. “You said we had to go already. I don't want to waste any time,” you say.
His ears fold against his hair, he winces slightly, but he nods. “Have you ever been on an ikran?” he asks as he signals for you to follow, leading you towards the enormous animal that watches you approach.
“Never,” you respond, studying the bird cautiously, catching sight of its large, sharp teeth. “Is it—Does it bite?” you question as you reach the bird, and Jake pets it softly.
“Not if I'm around,” he tells you. He reaches a hand out for yours, and you stay where you are, glancing down at his hand with no intention of taking it. “Come on,” he urges, “he won't bite. Just pet him.”
You don't take Jake's hand. You simply take a few careful steps towards the animal and softly raise your hand to its beak. It clicks quietly, its eyes following your movements. Your hand meets the scaly, harsh skin of its beak and you give the animal a hesitant little rub. The ikran leans into your touch and you relax, caressing the creature gently.
“That's it,” Jake hums. Whether he's talking to you or to the ikran, you're not really sure. “Easy.”
You glance at him and find his eyes on you. You look away, focusing your gaze on the animal.
“You're never this quiet,” Jake tells you. You can still feel his gaze linger on your face. “Is something wrong?”
You exhale softly. “Jake, you forget. I'm not who I used to be,” you remind him. “This me is always this quiet.”
He nods. You can see him from the corner of your eye. After a moment of silence where you pretend to be deeply involved in petting the ikran and ignore his staring, he says, “Are you ready to go?”
You nod gently. He helps you onto the animal, it's breathing lifting you up and down. You tremble a little, uncomfortable with how you slip from one side to the other with every small movement the animal makes. Jake climbs on in front of you, holding onto the creature with a posture that screams he's completely used to this.
“Hold onto me,” he tells you. “And don't let go.”
You wrap your arms around his waist, press your face to his shoulder. You can feel his breathing, can hear his heart beating, can sense the warmth of his skin.
He takes off into the air, the animal's wings flapping wildly, blowing air on your face, tangling your hair. You hold onto Jake Sully for dear life. As you whoosh through the wind, high above the jungle, you hear Jake chuckle softly.
“Relax a little,” he tells you. “You're gonna break my ribs if you hold on any tighter.”
You loosen your grip. Barely. “Sorry,” you mutter, not daring to glance down lest another jerk from the ikran sends you flying down into the foliage.
-
“You are the best.”
As he flies on the ikran with you holding onto him too tightly, he recalls those words. He remembers the day, so clear, in so much detail...
Jake had been lying in bed, a little downed, as the feeling that his avatar life was the real world, and his human life was just a dream filled him, making him feel sick. He had just finished his nightly video log, a half-assed, distracted speech that had left him feeling worse than before.
It had been hot that night. The atmosphere thick with humidity, the portable lab burning up in the high temperature. He felt horrible, like he wanted to cry, or scream, or both.
And then you appeared, out of nowhere, with a tray of sweets—chocolates, candies, a few cookies—and sat on the edge of his bed.
His eyes fell on the delicacies before rising to your face, studying your gorgeous expression, your perfect smile.
He found himself grinning back at you.
“For the heartbreak,” you hummed, placing the tray on the bed beside him.
You always had been able to read him like a book. You took one look at him and already knew how he was feeling, and you were the only one who could get him to talk about it.
That was another thing he loved about you. It was so easy for him to open up to you, to trust you, to talk to you...
As he grabbed one of the chocolates, he said, “You're the best.”
You blushed visibly, which made him smile more, before you laughed gently. He joined you, his deep chuckles turning into guffaws, both of you half-embarrassed, half-flattered, wholly in love.
Or, at least he'd thought it could've been love. Now, he isn't so sure.
He glances over his shoulder at you and finds that your face is buried against his shoulder, your eyes shut tight. He chuckles again, softly. “The views amazin' from up here. You're missing out,” he says, one of his hands on the ikran's reins and the other one moving to hold you by the thigh.
He feels you shake your head. “I feel like I'm on the verge of falling,” you reply, breathing heavily.
“You're not gonna fall,” he tells you. “I won't let you fall. Trust me.” The phrase slips out, the words rolling off his tongue before he can stop them.
But it seems to put you at ease. He feels your face gently lift from his shoulder, your hands still holding him tight. He looks back at you, watches the way you glance down, your mouth slightly agape, your eyes shining with surprise and amazement.
“It's...beautiful,” you say quietly. He can feel your breathing ease a little, your grip on him loosening ever-so-slightly.
“It is,” Jake agrees, his own eyes falling to the foliage, to the hundreds of thousands of colors, to the amazing landscape that is his home. He never gets tired of this view. He never gets used to it. Never takes it for granted.
But being with you makes everything brighter. It makes the colors more vivid, the breeze much fresher, the sound of animals calling in the forest melodious. His heart starts racing, his breathing gets funny.
He's so in love with you, he feels like a fool of sorts. Like he's throwing himself into a canyon, knowing that what awaits underneath is nothing but death, and he jumps anyways just for the rush of convincing himself you can love him back.
------
You two make it to the Hallelujah Mountains, your eyes wide and admiring the floating rocks. Every time Jake sees you become awed by something new, he feels his chest flutter. He can't help it. Seeing you alive again, and not only alive but also amazed and smiling...it's nothing short of happiness.
His ikran lands on the rock with a soft thud, and Jake hops off before reaching to help you down. But you're already jumping from the animal's back on your own.
The people rush to greet him, relieved to see him well, and then your presence slowly becomes noticed. Eyes watch you, confused, shocked. You stare back, hand reaching for your hip where Jake can see a dagger stashed.
A few kids, the ones who'd been too young to understand you'd died, run to you. You watch, eyes alert, ears up, as they lunge at you, hugging you, giggling, talking to you in Na'vi. You're taken aback for a second; Jake can see the uncertainty in your eyes. But you quickly recover and smile down at the children, accepting the way they hug you around the legs, softly caressing their heads.
Neytiri steps from the gathering crowd, demanding to know what's going on. And then she sees you, and it's like the wind is knocked from her lungs.
She gasps softly, ears folding back, her eyes on you as if she can't believe what she's seeing.
You don't even notice her. You're listening to the little kids as they all talk to you at once. By the look on your face, Jake suspects you don't remember Na'vi as fluently as you used to know it.
Neytiri glances at Jake then, and he signs, I See you. Neytiri approaches him, her eyes flickering between him and you, and she asks, “Jakesully, is...is that...?”
He nods, saying your name, still unable to believe it himself.
“But she went to Eywa,” Neytiri murmurs, ears snapping towards you when you tickle one of the children who squeals, delighted.
The other clan members have started nearing, speaking to you. You furrow your brows, try to understand. You speak in Na'vi, slowly, a little clumsily. The people exchange confused, unsure looks.
“And the Great Mother has given her back,” Jake responds, still watching you. He's afraid that if he doesn't keep and eye on you, you will disappear into thin air, gone in a split second, just like the first time.
“But she has been with the Sky People,” Neytiri points out, sounding wary.
“Yes,” Jake admits. “She has. But that doesn't mean she cannot See anymore. If anyone belongs with us, it's her.”
“What are you saying, Jake?” Neytiri questions, her yellow eyes boring into the side of his face.
“I want to help her remember,” he tells Neytiri, glancing at her before quickly shifting his eyes back to you as you speak with the clan people. “I want to make her part of the Omaticaya, see if maybe that way she can...she can remember who she used to be.”
“And if she never remembers?” Neytiri wonders.
Jake's ears fold back, worry filling his veins. “She'll start from scratch. Just like I did,” he replies. “She'll still be part of us, still forget the Sky People’s ways, and she'll be one of ours.”
Neytiri clicks her tongue gently, sighing softly. “I trust you'll take care of teaching her, yes?”
“Definitely,” Jake says, nodding. He looks at Neytiri, and already knows what her answer will be.
“Get her an appropriate attire,” Neytiri orders. “She will start lessons tomorrow.”
Jake smiles at her. “Thank you, Neytiri,” he tells her. “Really.”
Neytiri smiles back at him. “Don't thank, Jakesully. You deserve this gift Eywa has bestowed you.”
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Warnings: Angst. Angst. Angst. Idk why, I just felt angsty today. Jake being sad. You not remembering who you were.
Summary: after the first war with the Sky People, Jake loses you. When they return, they bring you back in a Na'vi body, and Jake runs into you.
Jake Sully was dreaming again. Dreaming about you.
In these dreams, the war with the Sky People had passed, and you were still here. Still alive.
In these dreams, they'd transferred you to your Na'vi body, and you and him were happy in Pandora.
In these dreams, he held you close, kissed you, whispered into your ear, “I love you.”
In these dreams, you hadn't been killed in the war. In these dreams, he'd been quick enough to save you before any harm came to you. In these dreams, he'd been enough.
But eventually, he had to wake up.
And when he did, he had the crushing realization that it had been only a dream. You were dead, long gone, too far from his reach.
He'd get up in the morning, hating himself for never having told you that he loved you.
------
When Jake Sully had first come to Pandora and integrated into the Avatar program, he'd gotten the hope of returning home and getting his legs back.
That promise hadn't been enough to prevent him from growing roots in the new planet once he experienced what life could be like here.
He'd fallen in love with the Na'vi, with nature, with the new life. And he'd fallen in love with you.
You were a scientist, according to your various titles obtained after years of studying and working. But, to Jake, you were a train wreck, a tornado, a catastrophe that stepped between him and his mission to Colonel Quadritch. You upended his world, changed the way he saw everything. You changed him, forced him to be better.
At first, he'd hated you for calling him out on sharing Na'vi information with the militia. He'd hated you for moving him out of headquarters to the portable lab. He hated you for being so kind and honest, for not overlooking his bullshit, for correcting him and taking your time to teach him about the Na'vi. He hated that he couldn't stay angry at you. It confused him, tore him in half. He'd be unable to sleep in his bunk, thinking of you.
And then, one day, he got to the realization that he didn't hate you. That the nagging, insistent ache within him wasn't anger, but attraction. He liked you. What he'd thought were claws of rage within his throat any time he tried talking to you were actually butterflies. His eyes tracing your movements everywhere wasn't proof of hate, but of admiration.
He'd been conflicted about his discovery for a while, but he'd eventually come to accept it.
And the more he did, the more he thought you felt the same. You'd smile at him more than normal. Whenever he was able to hold a fluent conversation in Na'vi with you, you'd congratulate him and your eyes would shine with pride. When he helped you with anything—big or small—in the lab without you asking, you'd stutter a little as you rushed out a thanks, and you'd blush on occasion.
You two got to being close. Real close. You'd talk about everything. About Jake's experience within the Omaticaya clan, about life back home, about how you'd gotten to Pandora, about how neither of you ever wanted to go back to earth.
Things were going well. Really well. For Jake, for the Na'vi, for you—but then the war came.
The Sky People and their fire, and their bullets, and their explosives, and their destructive nature. And they'd torn the world into pieces.
You'd fought. You'd fought hard and long, with everything in you, to protect the world you now called home. You were protecting it from your own species, you knew, but you'd had the startling realization that you were not like them. You could See, they could not. And that automatically made them the enemy.
Jake found your body not long after the war finished. Once he'd gotten back in the link, he'd rushed through the forest, calling for you, worried, terrified, needing to see you.
The words were on his lips. I love you. He was so ready to say it to you, so ready to find you alive and feel relief wash over him.
He found your body instead. Bloody, bruised, lifeless. It broke him. He threw himself on the floor beside you, cradled your body in his arms, cried and sobbed and screamed. Why, why, why was this happening? Why to you? The kindest person he'd ever known. If anyone deserved to live, it was you.
“Eywa, please,” he sobbed, body shaking as it curled over yours. “If you need to take a life, take mine. Not hers. Please.”
But the Great Mother didn't listen. She'd made her choice. You were with her now, and nothing he said would change that.
Somewhere deep inside him, he understood why Eywa would wish to keep you. Why anyone would wish to keep you to themselves. But it hurt bad. So bad.
He hasn't smiled since that day.
------
He buried your body in the traditional Omaticaya funeral. Na'vi all around him wept for you. You'd been well-loved amongst them, having worked with Grace at the school and having always been kind with everyone.
Afterwards, he'd sat beside your tomb, crying, sobbing for hours. He'd fallen asleep there like he would come to do one too many times. In the future, he'd visit you daily and talk to you, hoping you could hear him, hoping you could see him. But that day, he felt empty, like nothing could ever make him better, like nothing could ever make him happy.
-----
The morning that it happens, Jake wakes up dreaming of you again. He sighs as his chest crushes on itself at the memory of your mangled body in his arms.
He knows he should get up and get to work. He has to patrol again today. With the Sky People’s return, he's in charge of leading the warriors and ensuring to keep the humans away from the clan as they hide deep in the Hallelujah Mountains. But he doesn't want to. He wants a break. Most days, he pushes through the pain and continues with his duty, but today, he can't seem to find the strength.
He hops on his ikran and flies to where you lay, under the ground. As he reaches the spot and approaches your tomb, he realizes that more and more flowers decorate the earth every day. Trees grow around you, little creatures nest in the ground beside you. Even in death, he realizes, you attract life and wonders and peace.
He crouches before you, eyes stinging with tears, ears folded back.
“I miss ya,” he says, like he has so many other times. “So much. I keep thinking if-if I had been there, with you, then maybe—” his voice cracks— “maybe you'd still be here. With me.” A tear runs down his cheek, warm on his skin. He lets it fall to the floor. “I remember when you told me that this was the only place you felt happy. I felt that way, too. I thought it was this planet, this new life, but I've come to realize...it was you. You were the thing that was missing. Without you, there is no happiness. Anywhere.” He sighs, sniffling gently. “I wish I could have you here with me. I would never let you go. Never forget to tell you that I love you.” He takes a deep breath. “I gotta go. I love you. I always will. You know that.”
He remains there for a few seconds, watching the life that's grown around you, before he stands. He turns around, still crying, ready to leave, when something rustles in the bushes not far from where he is.
His ikran snaps to attention, clicking its beak in alarm. Jake's ears perk up. He can't hear anything, can't see anything, can't smell anything.
But he can feel it. Somewhere inside him, his instinct tells him he's not alone. There's someone else out there.
He crouches to the ground, quietly approaching the place the sound came from, unsheathing the knife from his chest and holding it tight in his hands.
Another rustle. A branch snaps and someone curses.
The voice is so familiar, it roots him to the spot. Mid-crouch, knife in hand, heart racing, Jake remains where he is, watching.
The figure approaches. A Na'vi, clad in army uniform, hair down, leaves stuck to her hair. Her face is hidden behind the curtain of dark locks.
She has a machete in one hand, which she could use to cut the wild foliage away, but she doesn't. Instead, she carefully moves between trees and branches and flowers, almost floating past them.
Her hair gets caught on a tree and she hisses, cursing. Turning around to pull her hair free, her face is revealed to Jake and—
His heart drops, his stomach jumps, alarm and excitement and hope rush through him.
It's you.
You, standing there, untying your hair from the tree, ears folded back.
You, cursing and hissing and furrowing your eyebrows as you concentrate.
You, breathing, moving, existing, alive.
For a moment, Jake fears he's dreaming. He decides he's asleep still, in his tent, in the Hallelujah Mountains. Then, he decides he's hallucinating, seeing things that aren't there, gone crazy from grief.
You manage to free your hair and you huff, victorious. As you're turning around to continue walking, Jake takes a step toward you, as if to stop you from disappearing from his dream, and the leaves crunch beneath his feet.
Your head snaps towards him, eyes locking on his, and you fold your ears back, baring your teeth.
Jake breathes out your name softly, gently, full of awe and hope and relief.
Could this be real? Is he lucky enough that you've somehow defied death? Has Eywa decided to end his pain and given you back?
“Who are you?” you snap, machete tight in your grip. “How do you know my name?”
Your eyes scan him and fall to his knife. He can see the way your gaze lingers on his weapon.
He sheathes the knife and holds his hands up in surrender. “It's me,” he repeats.
Your eyes catch on his hands, on the fact that he has five fingers and not four, and your gaze flickers to his.
“Jake Sully,” you say, voice filled with recognition.
He exhales sharply, relieved. “Yes,” he replies. “Yes, it's me.”
Something clouds your eyes over, turning them dark and hostile, and you spit, “So you're the traitor.”
His ears fold back, surprised, confused, and he shakes his head. “I-no—”
“It's you, isn't it?” you cut him off. “Toruk Macto. The one who sent us away the first time. The traitor.”
“No,” Jake insists, unable to comprehend what's happening, why you're behaving this way, why you don't recognize him. He says your name again and you snap.
“Stop calling me that,” you snarl. “You have no right to use my name. You don't know me.”
But I do, he thinks to himself. I do know you. So well. So much. I even love you.
But he doesn't say that. Instead, he says, “What...? What happened to you? What did they do to you?”
You sneer, canines showing. “What they did to me?” you echo, growling. “They did nothing. They brought me back to life. They saved me. After you killed me.”
Jake's body freezes as confusion shocks through him. “No,” he stutters, shaking his head. “I tried to save you. You were gone by the time I found you. I—They're lying to you!”
The radio on your collar crackles to life. A gruff voice on the other side calls your name. Without removing your eyes from Jake, you press the button and reply, “I copy.”
Jake is breathing heavily. The rule is that all demon Na'vi—the humans in Na'vi bodies—should be killed. On the spot. No exceptions.
He knows he's supposed to kill you. Especially since you're not...you. He realizes you can't remember, that you don't know anything about what happened except for what they've told you. And they've done nothing but lie, from the looks of it.
He unsheathes his knife again, your eyes follow the movement. The man on the radio says, “Report as to your position. Have you found anything?”
Now, he decides. Before you can respond and tell them you've found Toruk Macto.
But to lose you again. To have you alive only to kill you...How could he? He can't find the strength, the stoicism, the hardened heart to do it.
He can't.
Before you answer through the radio, he runs, turning away from you and racing back to his ikran.
You exclaim, running after him. He can hear your footsteps follow his.
He reaches his ikran and mounts, flying into the sky before you can reach him. As he flies off, he glances down and finds you, standing there, your eyes on him.
By the time he reaches the Hallelujah Mountains, he's not completely sure he didn't hallucinate the entire encounter.
------
That night, he can't sleep. So he sneaks to the Tree of Souls, hoping to find something, anything, that tells him he hasn't gone completely insane.
As he makes tsaheylu with one of the branches, he realizes he's not sure what, exactly, he's looking for.
Quietly, he prays, “Eywa, please, give me an answer. I just need to know. Is it truly her? Have I imagined everything? I need an answer.”
He can hear the ancestors' voices, their whispers, their laughter. He hears Grace, laughing, talking about taking samples, and suddenly—
A voice, soft but stern, speaks directly into his ear.
She is alive, my child. Returned home. Her heart remains strong, her spirit kind. She only needs to be led in the right direction.
As suddenly as it appeared, the voice fades away. Eywa, Jake thinks to himself. The Great Mother speaking directly to him. Speaking of you.
You're alive. You're back. It really is you.
“Thank you,” Jake tells Eywa, joyful tears slipping from his eyes. “Thank you.”
For the first time in years, Jake finds it in himself to smile a true, happy smile.
