(this is a repost)
self indulgent marinette angst, here we come
“Tangents from a common point are equal to each other..” Marinette read out loud to Tikki, who was staring at her chosen expectantly, hat on her bulbous head. Marinette paused to breathe. Her eyes flicked up to Tikki and she broke into a grin.
“What is it, Marinette?” Tikki asked, Marinette’s infectious smile making her smile slightly as well.
“Nothing, just that you look adorable with a hat.” She grinned. “So does Daizzi, don’t you think? Her teal hat is pretty, right Daizzi?” She asked, turning around to face the shelf, expecting Daizzi and the other kwamis to be there, before her grin falls off her face.
She slumped onto her chaise and put her head in her hands.
“I forgot. I can’t believe I forgot!” She sobbed. “They’re gone and I thought they were here, but they are with Monarch instead, who is treating them God knows how and Icantdoanythingtohelpthem-” She cried, breath coming in pants and heaves, as she began to hyperventilate, breathing becoming difficult and difficult.
“Marinette! Breathe!” Tikki exclaimed, panicked, as Marinette gasped for breaths.
As suddenly as it had started, the panic attack stopped.
Marinette went quiet.
“Marinette, are you okay?” Tikki asked, to no response. Marinette had gone deathly still, tears running down her face.
Marinette felt trapped. Her face was wet and it was difficult to swallow, as if something was blocking her throat. She wondered absently if Chat Blanc had felt this dead and useless. Her eyes fell on the board above her bed, Adrien gazing down at the bed adoringly.
She stared ahead, eyes blank and empty. The noise in her head was increasing, voices shouting over each other and it was almost unbearable.
Tikki cried “Marinette! Monarch cannot akumatize you!”
A purple butterfly was fluttering near her, and a small part of Marinette wanted to give in. But she recalled her partner’s blue-eyed, porcelain-white face, and decided that no, she cannot let him fight her. He would refuse and give up, and then Monarch would certainly win.
She breathed, calming herself down and the butterfly fluttered away.
“Tikki, Spots on.” Marinette whispered, transforming with a flash of pink light, and purified the butterfly.
She breathed. Ladybug could not be akumatized.
She breathed. Chat Noir would not fight her.
She breathed. Monarch could not win.
She breathed.
