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The sinister old woman arriving at the birth of my firstborn to foretell his doom

Could yall stop shooting each other outside my window im trying to masturbate

So this was actually the sound of my car getting stolen

investing at 10 notes

daddy has regretfully informed kitten that we need a dual income household to survive

proposing a new genre of fiction called an anti-romance where u r presented w a couple at the start & the story is about their emotional journey towards a catastrophic break up

will they won't they (end this farce). there's only one bed (but for some reason they don't really want to share it). out of context eavesdropping (that paints the relationship in a better light than it deserves). chasing after them to stop them getting on that plane (and stopping them from finally being free)

nobody understands my vision i don't mean any old story where a relationship fails and it's tragic or w/e i mean a story where the intention is for the audience to root for it failing the same way u root for it succeeding in a romance. & when the relationship finally implodes at the climax of the story it's all very cathartic & everybody cheers.

like have u never wanted a fictional couple to break up so badly it hurt?

Didn’t do shit in Link’s awakening though

I can no longer feel the infinite sadness