Deiita Elric

Part 15 here

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Katsuki slowly regained consciousness. He started registering the noises around him, the smells. It was pretty quiet. He wiggled his fingers, his toes, and tried to open his eyes. The light was dim and even then it hurt his eyes a little. He groaned. Looking around, he was sure he was in the UA medical clinic, laying in one of those uncomfy beds he hated. He rolled his head to the left, trying to accommodate himself better, still feeling really exhausted. And then he saw him. There, sitting in a plastic chair and bending over the bed, head resting just beside Katuski’s hip, was Izuku. He was sleeping, eyes firmly closed and a little pout in his mouth, firmly attached to Katsuki’s left hand. His hair was splayed against the cool white of the sheets, one messy curl threatening to enter his right eye the moment it’ll open. Katsuki tried to free his hand to brush it aside but Izuku tightened the grip, not letting go. He snorted fondly and quietly, not wanting to awake the other. He turned a little more, using his right hand to set the curl aside and pressed a finger to the little frown between his brows, trying to erase it. It worked. Izuku relaxed a bit and scooped a little closer, sighing in his sleep. This fucking guy.

Katsuki relaxed himself on the mattress, eyes still on Izuku. He was just so fucking tired. What happened, really? He was perfectly fine one moment, punching full force to a punching sac and the other he passed out in the middle of the hallway. He tried to remember anything else, but it was like there was a wall in his mind. He just remembered the dread feeling of falling down. The feeling of his body not being his own. Feelings, yeah. If he thought about sensation he was getting a little more information. He remembered being confused as hell. Yeah no shit, of course I am. But it was not that. It was a distant feeling. And stronger. Like when he was a child, confused to the core. Oh, fuck, does this mean-

Izuku stirred at his side, shaking his head a little and tightening the grip on Katsuki’s hand. He opened his green eyes slowly, only halfway, frowning with confusion for a moment. Katsuki kept his eyes on him, his hand perfectly still on the grip. Izuku groaned a little, closing his eyes again and rolling his head to place his forehead on the mattress. He shook his head again, tickling Katsuki’s hand with his messy hair. He pushed back, then, and straightened his back, rolling back his shoulders. Izuku’s eyes were closed, his hand still perfectly entangled with Katsuki’s own, a pained expression contorting his face for a moment. Katsuki thought he would get up then, and just leave. Because honestly, what was he doing here? Katsuki wasn’t injured, it was just a black out. But obviously, he was wrong. It was Izuku who he was talking - thinking - about. Katsuki saw him shake his head again and pop his left elbow on the mattress, resting his head on his palm. Half bended this time, but it didn’t seem more comfortable than before. Izuku’s eyes are only half opened, the skin around them already darkening. Katsuki saw him looking at their jolted hands and felt a thumb stroking his skin. Izuku’s eyes then traveled up Katsuki’s arm to his shoulder, to his chest, to his face, his eyes snapping full open when finding Katsuki looking back.

“Kacchan” Katsuki stayed pretty still, still confused, exhausted, not wanting to think about what just happened. At the implications. But again, this’s nothing entirely new. They both are kinda like this lately. “You are awake. How are you feeling?” Izuku scooted a little closer, worry painted all over his big bright eyes.

“Hm” It was barely a word, more like a noise. Katsuki’s throat was dry as hell. Izuku changed the hand holding Katsuki’s to pass him a paper cup of water from the table beside the bed. And Katsuki quietly took it using his right hand, silently agreeing not to acknowledge the hand holding. He sipped and murmured a thank you. Izuku quietly retrieved the cup back.

“Are you feeling okay?”

Yeah, feeling. So that wasn’t the best of the ideas. He remembered the confusion, but he now was feeling the rest of it. The excitement of the kid, the annoyance of the teenager, his own frustration. And, fuck. He was feeling this different type of jealousy. The pure and innocent coming from the child, the fierce and confused from the teenager, his own, somewhere in the middle. He was always barely capable of managing his own feelings, how was he supposed to feel all this at once? He shook his head trying to focus, Izuku was still waiting for an answer. 

“Just tired as fuck”

Izuku offered a tiny and sympathetic smile. “You’ve been sleeping for a while”

“Why are you here, Izuku? It’s not that serious”

Izuku shrugged, looking anywhere but at him. “It was a little lonely all of a sudden”

Katsuki rearranged himself on the bed, sitting up a little. “They are all gone, right?” Izuku just nodded. “You got pretty used to having the kid all over you all the time, huh?” Katsuki smirked at him, using a tone he knew Izuku would know there was not a bite in it. And Izuku smiled fondly, sadness tinting the green of his eyes. “Are you aware of why you pushed him away in the first place?” Katsuki blinked, once again confused. For fuck’s sake, what were the young adult one doing? It’s not like the middle schooler was about to remember any of that. Izuku tilted his head at him, and he could almost see little question marks randomly materializing around his head. But yeah, Katsuki was very aware of why he pushed Izuku away. Always so reckless, so little self-preservation. His feelings always in the air, his heart always ready to be shattered. His action, always for the better good and not a single selfish thought behind those kind eyes. It was terrifying.

It was like a slap in the face, the expression on Izuku’s face when the teen asked why he wouldn't stay quirkless and live a normal life. And the desperation the teen was feeling, he knew that feeling all too well. “Is that why you always tried to make me quit my dream?” Fuck. So now Izuku knew. They would have to talk about it someday, because Izuku deserved that. He already apologized for being a total asshole to him for years, but he never wanted to acknowledge the reason.

“Wha-what’s happening? Is there something wrong? Should I call the nurse?” Katuki was sure it had to be pretty damn weird for Izuku to be there, watching his friend fighting hard to not show a hundred emotions on his face while feeling a thousand in his mind. But Katsuki only shook his head no, still looking at Izuku, still holding his hand. He frowned, remembering bits and pieces of interaction, of feeling, remembering thought. The kid’s memories were all emotion, all too blurry together to grab anything but a few sentences thrown here or there. But the emotions were clear. Fascination, appreciation, fondness, admiration, love. And all he got back, being taken care of, pure fondness from Izuku, love, in a way, too. “...We’ve known each other our entire lives and all of you had an impact on me. It’s exhausting sometimes. It’s just… I’m feeling too much in a short space of time. And I have to get rid of all this fee-”

“Kacchan, please. What’s happening?”

“Be quiet” Izuku closed his mouth then, beginning to bite his thumb instead. “I’m… remembering” Katsuki finished, a whisper almost inaudible. He knew it was a little creepy, to be prying in these conversations he wasn’t a part of. But it’s not like he didn’t warn Izuku all the memories would come back to him at the end. He couldn’t help it. They were his memories now. They were not clear, only like a dream you remember a little bit more lucidly than others, you can’t grab them, can’t think about them too much to try to remember, you just have to let it through your head and compose the pieces.

He started to remember the smiles, then, the laughs, the fond touches, those kind big bold green eyes on him, the shared side glances. They were merging with his own memories. Katsuki wondered where every one of the smiles fit where. It doesn’t matter, in the end, right? Because Izuku was always smiling at him, at every part of him. At every version, always. Through time and strange quirks. His eyes prickled with tears and he blinked, refusing to fucking cry. For fuck’s sake.

Izuku panicked a little. Katsuki could almost see his mind going miles per hour trying to pinpoint what he did to get that reaction out of the blond. “Stop thinking. You’re distracting me”

“I-”

Katsuki almost rolled his eyes. How could this guy think, like ever, that he did something wrong? It was beyond Katsuki. Instead, he brushed his thumb against Izuku’s skin, wanting to reassure him. And only then was the other boy aware of their joined hands. A blush started creeping his face, visible even in the dim light, and he tried, very quietly, to retrieve his hand. But Katsuki grabbed him tightly, not letting him go.

That distracted Izuku enough so he could focus on the memories crashing at him. He was trying to compartmentalize the information so it would make sense. He was still feeling the boldness of the kid, the confidence with how he said he loved Izuku, that he would always do. And Izuku didn’t believe him. Katsuki eyed him. Izuku was now quiet, playing with a loose thread with his free hand. Always patient, like Katsuki deserved that kind of treatment. But Katsuki kept being his selfish self and didn’t let go. Katsuki looked intently at Izuku’s face, looking for the emotions he was remembering. He saw the blushes through the other’s eyes, through his own, if he was being honest.  His mind decided it was the perfect time to bring up the teen asking if they were only friends and he almost choked on his own spit. He averted his eyes when Izuku’s eyes looked up at him with concern. Katsuki furrowed his brows, trying to not show anything more than annoyance, but he could feel his cheeks getting warmer. Side glancing at Izuku, he saw him licking his lips and suddenly he felt the ghost of them on his own. That fucking bastard brat did kissed Izuku. He cleared his throat, looking away again. 

A nurse decided it was the perfect time to enter the room and thank god. Izuku was just about to ask, Katsuki was sure. Even Izuku’s patience has a limit, contrary to his curiosity. The nurse asked how he was feeling and checked some info on the screens. When the nurse’s eyes landed on the conjoined hands of the two boys, a question in their eyes, Izuku didn’t even move. His green eyes glanced at Katsuki, ready to step back if he was uncomfortable. Katuski just raised his chin and asked if he could go home or what.

Katsuki was still very much tired when he finally reached his room. He slept through the rest of the day and all night long. The next morning he went straight to the training room, wanting to feel like himself again. The sleep has been full of weird dreams, and even then he was still remembering things here and there. It was very confusing. His mind was a mess.

“You just try to accept things the way they are and stop running away.” Yeah, well, shut the fuck up. Remembering things the young adult had said was the most confusing part. He didn’t talk to him that much, not wanting to ask, not wanting to know.

Actually, it was kinda the opposite.

So that was why he stayed away.

All the “heroes system is fuck up” thing was already something he knew. Although, the stuff about reinventing things, with Izuku, if he catched that right, was really exciting. Exciting and fucking terrifing.

He let out his pent up frustration through sets of pushups, punches and explosions. He finally dropped to the floor, exhausted but in a lot more familiar way when someone entered the room.

“I thought you would be here” He glanced at the door to see Izuku walking towards him with a little tray in his hands. “You missed breakfast” Izuku said, as an explanation while he set the tray over the bench near Katsuki and sat down.

“You didn’t have to” Katsuki sat up, back pressed against the bench beside Izuku’s legs. Izuku shrugged. “Thanks”

“Don’t mention it”

Katsuki ate in silence, only a few bites, but it made him feel better. The silence was comfortable, but weird. He glanced at Izuku. “You’re quiet”

The other boy chuckled a little. “Never thought I would hear you complain about that”

“Not complaining. Only saying.” Katsuki tore a piece of his bread and chewed on it. “Stop it, though”

Izuku chuckled again and accepted a piece of bread Katsuki tore for him. “Just thinking. It’s been a couple weird days”

“Tell me about it,” Katsuki signed. They ate the remaining bread in contemplative silence.

“I’m just… I’m feeling nostalgic” Izuku almost whispered. Katsuki put the tray away and sat up on the bench beside Izuku. Green eyes fell on him and he looked away. “With what happened I’m a little stuck thinking about the past, you know? Now everything is different”

Katsuki looked at him again and Izuku offered a little smile, looking past him, eyes on another plane of existence. “It’s not bad. Like, it wasn’t better back then, it was just… easier”

“Not everything” Izuku looked at him, the question clear in his eyes. “Fuck, I…” Katsuki rubbed a hand over his hair. “I mean, I get what you’re saying, but not everything is different and not everything was easier back then. Not for me” Izuku waited in silence for an explanation. Katsuki signed and looked away. “I’d like to think I’m better now”

Izuku nodded. “You’re way stronger and experienced”

“I’m not talking about that”

“You’re more open, too. More approachable”

“You didn’t think that a few days ago” He said, remembering the conversation just before he lost his conscience. Izuku tensed beside him. And he regretted having said it immediately. “Sorry. Didn’t meant that”

Izuku took a moment to look at Katsuki's face, like he was looking for something. “It’s okay, I’m sorry too. I was all over the place these last few days.” Izuku shrugged with one shoulder. “I was feeling too much. I can’t imagine what you are feeling now, having all that all at once” He looked at his shoes, sitting all the way back on the bench so his feet dangled a little. “But you are right, not everything it’s different. We still have the same dream, and the same partner in that dream”

Katsuki looked away at Izuku’s smile. It was true. They were so different from before and yet so much the same. He thought back at that thing about rebuilding things with Izuku in the future and his mind took the opportunity to throw some more memories at him. “I already have my own. This one is too young for me. And too old for you, brat”  Katsuki furrowed his brow at the implication. He already has his own Izuku? It would obviously mean he’s still in Izuku’s life in his present (the future). Obviously. And the age thing is clear too. Being friends with someone much older or younger than you could be a little… weird, maybe. He didn’t know why he was trying to read something different. “I love him either way, why would he be too old for me? That doesn’t make sense” That’s right. “Yeah, well, I guess that’s true in your case”

Does that mean-? He frowned. So, this thing was still going on. It wasn’t really a surprise, not at all. His feelings for Izuku were not some stupid school crush he would just get over. He knew. But he hoped they would change again, maybe. It happened before. The path toward this present feeling was full of bumps and side roads and always changing and evolving until it came to this. He has hoped they would continue changing and turn into something easy, less wanting. But he remembered the posture of his future self, the slight tilt towards Izuku he always had, like he gravitated around him. He remembered the young adult’s eyes scanning Izuku’s face looking for something. His own doing the same. He was actually doing just that right now. And Izuku was looking back, also searching. They always gravitate around each other. It was like that when they were children, he fought against it being a teenager, but they end up falling again right in place. And there they were. Looking at each other, trying to read the thoughts behind their eyes, trying to read the motive behind actions. Always trying to know each other better, to get to know everything that is to know. And they almost could read each other right now. If only they were less scared. If only they would allow themself to believe, to be seen, they would hear both minds chanting I love him.

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Part 14 here

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Great. Everything was freaking great. He just happened to get kinda rejected and jeopardized his most appreciated friendship at the same time. Izuku jacked at his hair. Just… fucking great. He breathed slowly and deeply through his nose and sat back down in front of his homework. He hasn’t thought this would be so emotionally heavy. His head hit the table, his arms hanging flat at his sides. Don’t cry, Izuku. This mess will end up soon enough and you could be back at pretending what you have is enough. Just… 

The door opened and Izuku rolled his head to the side to peek at whoever had entered the empty room. He immediately straightened his back, offering a hug at the little kid already running towards him.

“You okay?” Questioned the young adult Katsuki, closing the door behind his back.

“Hm-hm” Izuku nodded, rustling the kid’s hair with affection. “What were you two up to?”

“We played around campus, hunting bugs and stuff, but the big boy got tired or something” The child said, sitting on Izuku’s lap and starting flipping through the textbook's pages, looking for something to do.

Izuku looked up at Katsuki. “You indeed are a bit pale. Are you okay?”

“‘m fine. Just a little nauseous, don’t know. I may lay down a bit” He ran a hand through his face and looked at Izuku. “Do you mind keeping an eye on the brat?”

“Of course. You go rest, I’ll stay with him” Izuku offered him a little smile, worry visible in his eyes. Katsuki muttered a thank you and headed to the door. “And…” Katsuki turned to look at him again, raising an eyebrow. “Thanks for taking care of him, I really needed a little of time to catch on with the lessons”

“No problem” A tired smile appeared on his face and Izuku waved a hand at him. Katsuki really looked like he could use a nap. His pale skin was a tint greener, his posture slightly tilted forward, his eyes a bit unfocused. “Take care, Kacchan. I’ll bring you soup at dinner time if you are still feeling unwell”

Katsuki turned around and opened the door to leave. Izuku eyed the child, still messing with his stuff. “How about I give you a few papers and colors and you draw something for me, hah? So I can finish this real quick and we can go play, okay? Would you like that?” The child seemed fine with the plan, so he ripped a few pages of a notebook and handed them to the child, who scooped over to another chair. Izuku then felt a hand on his head. He tried to turn, but he only could see the door still open, no Katsuki in sight, before he noted a soft kiss on top of his head. “Just… Don't give up on me, okay?” Izuku was still processing what he had heard whispered into his kissed hair when he saw the young adult blond close the door behind his back.

–

Katsuki was fuming. He was gonna find the middle schooler and beat the shit out of him. He did not only made it clear he has feeling for Deku, he fucking kissed him. He stole their first kiss. Oh, he was mad. But. Like. It’s not like he’s ever going to kiss Deku. He would never do that. The middle schooler didn’t steal shit, not really, because he would never do it. First, he doesn’t wanna acknowledge his feelings, they are useless either way. He’s completely fine being friends  with Deku, he doesn’t need fucking feelings involved.

Second, Deku wouldn’t even reciprocate, so a kiss would never happen. What only means the middle schooler forced a kiss on him. Deku had said “he kissed me” not “we kissed”. That’s another reason to kill the fucker. How does he dare to take advantage of Deku’s kindness? Now his anger is tinted with sadness. Did Izuku not go through enough shit that now he has to have his first kiss being forced on him? Fucking hell. 

He changed paths and went to the training room. Punching something will help rearrange his feeling and thought process. Luckily, it was empty. He set up a punching bag and began pouring his feelings through his fist, filling the training space with the sound of his frustration.

Tirth, he’s too much of a coward. Even if he was sure Izuku would kinda reciprocate, he wouldn’t do anything. And Izuku would not do the move. So they would stay just as they are. Friends. Rivals. Always a little bit more than that. But that’s it. And it would be great, honestly. It’s more than he deserved after everything.

And that's the fourth. He doesn’t deserve Izuku. It’s that simple. He’s grateful enough that the guy it’s still in his life. Always kind, and supportive, and friendly, and sacrificial and selfless and strong and always giving too much. He wouldn't dare jeopardize something like that. Because- Because even if Izuku felt the same, even in that crazy scenario, Katsuki wouldn’t make a move. He doesn’t deserve Izuku, he’s too good. And Izuku didn’t deserve Katsuki; he’s too broken, too little for a boy who deserves the world. He knows Izuku deserves someone who would always care about him, who would love every aspect of him and would always treat him like the angel he is. Someone whose acts would make him feel safe and protected and taken care of. Someone who doesn’t hide, and doesn’t lie and isn’t a coward. Someone who would always make him feel good, and loved. And he knows he could check some of that. God, he knows he does. But Izuku deserves the full thing, not some half-assed version. They had a past, after all. Katsuki had made Izuku feel small and not enough, a failure, for fuck’s sake. He hurted him and that’s something Izuku doesn’t deserve. So he wouldn’t.

No.

He wouldn’t do that to him. 

He left the training room feeling exhausted, more emotionally than physically. But he had no desire to strangle the teenager anymore. He would lecture him, of course, you can’t go through life kissing people without their consent, after all. But he’s sure Izuku will forgive the boy. After all, he did worse and Izuku still forgave him. Which is also sad, the little self-preservation the guy has. He shook his head, readying himself to apologize to Izuku for the behalf of his self past -again- and then he would find the teenager and make him apologize too. It was his mission to have Izuku’s smile back.

So he was marching towards Deku's room when he collided with someone. Annoyed, he looked down to push the person out of the way, but green hair was all he could see. Big green eyes looked up at him, full of worry and panic. 

"Deku? What happened?" 

"Is… is Kacchan, I-" 

"What did he do now?" He could feel the anger setting in him again. Deku shook his head no. 

"The kid. I can't find him. I can't find the child"

"Okay, relax," said Katsuki to both of them. "Where did you see him last time?" 

"I was… We were just in my room and he said he was feeling funny so I laid him on bed and went to wet a towel. When I came back he was gone!" Izuku grabbed Katsuki's arm with force and looked around with big eyes. "I've been searching for him for the past half hour… I looked everywhere in the rooms. He's sick and now he's lost!" 

"Relax. We'll find him, okay? I'll help… you… find him-" Katsuki stumbled on his feet, causing Izuku to panic even more. "I'm fine, I just… I felt dizzy… all of a… sudden"

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anyone still interested about the Split up thing? I might update soon

Part 13 here

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Katsuki noticed two things. The first one was a pained expression on his future self. That was already disturbing because what had him like that and why was he showing it. Like… he doesn't show feelings. Not externally, not unless it was a hard one he couldn't ignore. So what the fuck happened with him. He wouldn't tell him, of course. That arrogant bastard.

The second thing he had noticed was a change in Deku's smile. It wasn't that genuine anymore. It was just a pull of the corner of his lips when someone greeted him. It was a tiny laugh when someone made a joke. It was a little more elaborated when it was pointed at one of the Katsukis, though. The one directed at the kid was the more authentic one, closing his eyes and everything. The one directed at himself was a full smile without reaching his eyes, aka a fake as hell one. The one the adult was getting was more elaborated in the lie, like he feared the young adult would notice, and quicker, with only a second of eye contact. That was odd enough. But the strangest of it all was the tiny bit of shyness in the smile the teenager was getting. And he remembered receiving those from time to time. He doesn't know what that means, but it was odd seeing another person receiving it. Well… it was not another, but you know.

He noticed this first thing in the morning, and things just got weirder. 

After class, Deku flinched out of the way of the middle schooler. Just the way he would do being a middle schooler himself. And that was weird because Deku didn't do that anymore. He hadn't been doing it, why now? And he did the same with the older one. They were subtle changes, but he noticed them.

And finally, when he tried to approach Deku himself, he sneaked away with an excuse. The fuck? 

At lunch, Deku almost dropped his try when he turned around and found him and the middle schooler standing behind him, waiting in line. His green eyes kept switching between him and the younger boy before running away to his table. He didn't avert his eyes from his food not once.

Katsuki sighed and turned to the boy sitting near him.

"Okay. What did you do to him?"

"What do you want?" Said the younger one without looking at him.

"He's avoiding me. He’s avoiding all three of us. What did you do to him?" 

"Deku?" Katsuki just rolled his eyes as an answer. "Is he avoiding us?" 

"That's what I said! Did you not see his reaction earlier?" 

"...I didn't think it well enough" Murmured the teen, his eyes finding Izuku eating quietly with his friends.

"What- What did you do, fucker?" 

"I just wanted to mess with you, I didn't think he wouldn't… I'm a real asshole, ain't I?" He dropped the chopsticks on the tray. 

"You think?! Can you fucking please tell me what did you do?" 

"What you didn't do!" Said the teen between gritted teeth. Before Katsuki could ask what he was talking about, the teen continued, more and more angrily. "What you're afraid of. I get now maybe you had reasons to not doing it, but fuck, you're the loser here!"

Katsuki's eyes ticked. "I don't have any fucking idea what you are talking about. I swear to god, if you hurt him…" His shoulders were tensing and his mouth closed in a pressed line, leaving the threat flowing. 

"You still like him, right? Because if not, it doesn't matter, honestly, just blame me, but if you still do, and I know you do…" He rolled his eyes dramatically with the last part. "You better wake up. Really? All this fucking big words about accepting my feeling and the facts…" He was getting closer to Katsuki, his tone low but the anger very present. "That shit doesn't apply to you or what? I can't believe I'm the one coming clear with these shit" 

Katsuki's eyes were wide open, his cheeks a tint of red. "I wasn't talking about that!!" He whisper-yelled. 

"Oh, so you know what I'm talking about. So this is still going around" He waived his hands around. "See? That why I'm telling you you're the fucking loser here" 

"I don't want to jeopardize our relationship, okay? We have more important things to attend to. And it's none of your business, either way!" Katsuki tried to defend himself. 

"Okay, keep telling you that if it makes you feel better"

"It doesn't. You better than anyone know it's not that simple. You know I…" 

"It's impossible he reciprocate you"

Katsuki kept silent.

"No, it's not that" Their eyes met and both knew what was coming next. "It's because you don't deserve him" 

"Deku!" 

Deku jumped at the voice, focused as he was on his homework. He was in the common area and Katsuki was just marching towards him.

"Kacchan!" 

"Need to talk"

"I- hm. I'm a little bit busy here…" He pointed at his books, trying not to look him in the eye. 

"It'll be a second" Katsuki took a seat in front of him. "I…" He averted his eyes, thinking. "I was with the middle schooler earlier and I… Look I don't know what he did, but-"

"I don't really wanna talk about it" Interrupted Izuku. 

"Why not?" 

"Because I don't. It's just…" He shrugged and smiled, a fake smile. "He is like that, just wanna mess with me, right?" 

"I guess" 

"It's all good" Katsuki wanted to protest, to tell him that if everything was good, then why was he avoiding him, why was he not smiling like usual, why was he…

"Why are you sad, then?" That took Izuku by surprise. Katsuki saw how he was about to lie to him, but when his eyes met, the lie died in Izuku’s tongue.

“It’s complicated”

“How come?” Katsuki sat a little closer in response to Izuku’s silence. “I know he's an asshole, I know I’m still one-”

“You are not. I’m just…” Interrupted Izuku, but didn’t continue.

“How bad was what he did? I’ll blow up his face, I swear” Izuku smiled lightly. “The fuck you’re laughing about?”

“Nothing, I just knew you would say something like that'' Said Izuku, remembering himself saying Katuki will do just that to the middle schooler when he found out. “But don’t do it, he’s gonna be gone soon and we can forget all about it”

“Deku… You know I’ll know everything when everyone leaves, right?"

"Oh-” Izuku paused for a moment. “Just… don't be mad,okay?" 

"Can't you just tell me?" 

"No" Izuku shook his head no. Then he eyed Katsuki, panic setting in his voice. "Wait. Are you gonna absorb the adult's experiences too?" 

"No? You were there when they told me that. I'm not him yet, so I won't have his memories from this day until… well, until it happens in the future" Katsuki frowned deeply. “Why, thought?”

“It’s nothing! We just talked”

"Then why? I'm getting fucking tired of all this secret shit between you two!"

"There's no secret. We just talked" 

"Yeah, but about something you don't want me to know about" Katsuki crossed his arms and looked away. He was visibly pissed off.

"He's just more approachable to certain things, it’s not like-"

"I thought you knew you can count on me, Izuku"

"I kno-" 

"No, listen. I know I still have a long way to go-" 

"That's not it!" The boy sighed. "You know you're the one who knows me best. You can read me. But he can read things you can't read. Or you don't want to. And I get it, it's fine, but that's just why" 

Katsuki stayed silent, watching Izuku intensely, thinking about what that all means. Izuku sighed again and turned his body to face the blond. “Just so you know, I trust you”

Katsuki let out a sarcastic laugh.

“I mean it. I’ll trust you my life”

“Yeah… But not this” Katsuki got up and marched towards the door. He didn’t know why he was acting like that. The middle schooler boy had told him he did something related to his feelings towards Izuku, so why was he pushing to know? He didn’t want to give excuses nor tell the truth to Deku. He didn’t wanna talk about his fucking feeling for him with him. He didn’t wanna share his feelings. He didn’t want to face that. Didn’t want to make up some stupid reason the younger boy said whatever he had said when it was probably the truth. So why was he this… hurt? He knew well enough Deku trusted him. He knew Deku’s secrets, Deku’s fears, Deku’s dreams. And it was irrational to feel this kinda… jealousness towards his future self. That was what it was? Was he jealous? 

“Kacchan, wait!” He turned around, his mind still spiraling. Deku was standing five feet apart. “He kissed me. But it doesn’t mean any-”

Katsuki didn’t hear anything before the kiss part. So that was what happened. The middle schooler Katsuki just happened to kiss Deku. He didn't hurt him or confess to him. He kissed him. He just stole Izuku a kiss. His Izuku. His first kiss.

Katsuki's left eye ticked and he turned around and stomped out of the room without saying anything.

______

Part 12 here

____

Katsuki was not having a great day. The first day landing in the past was fun, seeing his friends with a few less years and a few less injuries and scars was something nice. Seeing a very tiny version of himself who was the only one - aside from himself - who knew how to treat Izuku was really nice. And the silent competition with that blonde brat was actually fun. But seeing Izuku there, clueless, was not nice. Seeing Izuku and couldn’t hug him, kiss him, assure him he loved every inch of him, was not nice. It was tough. And it was getting tougher.

He was 22, a pro hero already in the top five. It was a tough job and things happened all the time. And the more you scaleted the top, the more things happen. But he always had Izuku on his side, since the very first day of his career. A Izuku who knew about his feelings, who knew about his struggles and accepted him anyway, who agreed to accompany him in that journey and to be accompanied by Katsuki. A Izuku who knew him transparent, emotionally naked. Not this 17 years old boy who was in the way to be that but was not quite there. This boy wasn’t his to hug, kiss or void to. And having an Izuku around, but not his Izuku, was hard. Yes, he would tousle his green hair and tease him (and the other Katsuki at the same time) a little, but that Izuku was not his Izuku. The Izuku in front of him now wasn’t the one he opened raw in front off and was not the one who accepted all that. This Izuku was his Izuku once, but again, he wasn’t his Izuku.

And he knew that the Katsuki there (the 17 yo) was not himself either. That Katsuki needed to learn, to open up, to let Izuku in. But before any of that, that Katsuki needed to realize and admit his feelings for good. Because the fucker was that dense and stubborn. And Pro Hero Dynamight wasn’t ever known for his patience, but he wouldn’t interfere.

Not directly, at least. Because he wouldn’t mess with the past. He wouldn't push things he knew were going to happen anyway. But fuck! That dense clueless dumb and emotional constipate motherfucker! 

The thing is, when you learn something, it is really hard, impossible, he'll say, to unlearn it. And he learned to love Izuku. He learned he always did and always will do. He learned how to make Izuku happy and seeing his emotional constipated past-selve being a dumbass was trying his patience for real.

So he was just longing for his Izuku, admiring this Izuku and aching for his dumbass past-selves at the same time. 

Now he was running really early in the morning around the ground of UA when he heard heavy footsteps getting closer. Looking over his shoulder, he could see Izuku running towards him. He waited until the boy reached him before greeting him.

“Good morning, nerd”

“Good morning!”

Katsuki looked at him and immediately noticed something was not right. “Couldn’t sleep?”

Izuku used a few seconds to get his pace matching Katsuki’s and then shook his head. “Not much”

“How’s that?”

“Kacchan kissed me”

Katsuki stopped immediately. “Kacchan did what?”

Izuku paused as well and looked at him with those big pretty green eyes full of emotions. The boy was scared, insecure, a bit sad, worried, hopeful and pretty much confused.

“He kissed me! The middle schooler! I-I don’t know. Maybe I only dreamed it, but mini Kacchan was pretty mad at me after that and I had trouble making him sleep, so I don’t think I could dream all that, you know? But none of this made sense. Because it was Kacchan, and it was the middle schooler! And he kissed me. In the mouth! With his mouth!”

“Okay, cool, relax” Katsuki grabbed the boy by his shoulders and squeezed them to ground him. “Take a deep breath and start again”

Izuku closed his eyes tightly and took in a deep breath, elevating his shoulders in the process. He retained it a few seconds and then let it go slowly, relaxing his posture and opening his eyes to look at Katsuki.

“Okay”

“Better?” Katsuki squeezed him again and Izuku nodded. “Okay. Now. What happened?”

“Last night. I was in my room with Mini Kacchan, you know, he’s been sleeping with me these days” Katsuki nodded to let him know he was paying attention. “And then somebody knocked on my door and it was Kacchan”

“The middle schooler”

“The middle schooler, yeah” Izuku nodded, his eyes very focused on Katsuki's. “And he apologized, and I was like… what? Because… the middle schooler!”

Katsuki nodded, crooking his head a little, he knew.

“And he said he always wanted me to quit my dream because I might get hurt, and I didn’t know that” Izuku lifted a hand towards his own face and started chewing his thumb, looking to the side. “Is… Is that even true? I-”

Katsuki let go of one of Izuku’s shoulders to run a hand through his hair. Letting go a tiny sigh, he said yes.

“Do your… I mean, did I know? Like, in the future? Did the other me know about this?” Izuku kept chewing on his thumb but looked at him again.

“Yeah, I told him… Eventually”

“Okay” Izuku looked to the side again and chewed some more. “Okay”

“Did he kiss you then?” Asked Katsuki after the silence lengthened for a while.

“Yeah. No. I mean, he asked me if Kacchan and I were friends now, and I said yes, and he kept asking a few questions until he grabbed me and kissed me. Like… He kissed me. He grabbed me by my shirt and pulled forward to kiss me. And then he just went. Well, no, he told me he always wanted to do that, but I know that’s a lie, so maybe he was just messing with me all the time, right? Because even if the part of wanting me to quit my dream was true, it doesn’t mean he wasn’t messing with me, right? Because it was the middle schooler Kacchan, who was the worst era in our relationship, in middle school, you know. Of course you know. Well, unless we had it worse in the future, but you said we were still friends so I don’t-”

“Izuku, ohmygod, stop it” He tightened the grip on the boy’s shoulder to ground him again and cut the mutering. “I guess you should go talk to him. Or the Katsuki your age” Izuku didn’t like the idea, if his expression was something to go by. “I mean, I can’t do anything for you. They’re me but not, you know, I haven't been here at 14 and lived through the things he did these last days”

“Yeah. Yeah, you’re right. But not way I’m gonna talk about a kiss with Kacchan. No way. Neither of them”

“You’re talking to me about it” Katsuki smirked at him.

“B-but you are the most approachable. I knew you wouldn’t blow my face off. Maybe Kacchan’s. But not mine” Izuku looked at him with panic in his eyes. “Don’t blow Kacchan’s face off!”

Katsuki laughed and Izuku blushed. “I won’t. His face is too pretty”

“Yeah” Blurted Izuku, before blushing even harder. “I-I mean… I didn't…” Izuku looked at him and quietened. Katsuki was smiling like a fool. He knew that that action was what made Izuku stop in his panic. He could feel his smile stretched so wide all his teeth were visible. And he couldn’t stop it. Izuku was just too cute, too honest and with a big crush on his Kacchan. A crush so massive he now questioned how blind he was when he was 17. Or how dumb. Because it was pretty obvious.

Izuku might notice that too, because he dropped his eyes to the ground and embraced himself, moving out of reach for the blonde. “I know you said you were not gonna tell me anything about the future…”

“A couple times, yeah” Said Katsuki with care, concerned by the change of attitude.

“Yeah. But… Do you know if I get over my crush on him? Because it made me look stupid”

And Katsuki was not good at feelings. He was not good at knowing what he was feeling. He improved by the years, yeah, but right now, in that specific moment, he was feeling so much. It was like a heartbreak, because there were the love of his life feeling bad and stupid about loving him. Because he thought the feeling was one-sided. This boy was aching for somebody he feel was impossible for him, inreachable, when it was the other fucking way around. This boy was wishing to move on to his crush on 17yo Katsuki because he thought it was useless. And he knew that. He knew it too well because his Izuku had told him once, but seeing it in Izuku’s face, hearing it in present time, was something completely different.

And it hurt too that he couldn't tell him anything. Because it wasn’t his place. He was dying to tell Izuku that he wouldn’t have to get over his crush because it was reciprocated. Because they’ll confess their feelings one day and they’ll become one. They’ll have amazing dates full of adventures and domesticity until they finally set and move together, making almost every day a date. They’ll be happy together. Reaching their dream as a team.

But he couldn’t.

And it hurted him.

“Sorry for asking. I gotta go”

____

PART 11 HERE

(little reminder that this mess of story is self indulgent af so sorry not sorry if you find this update a little occ, I really wanted to read this so I wrote it lmao)

___

“Hey”

“Wha- Hm. Do-do you need something?” Izuku struggled with his own tongue, trying to mask his surprise upon seeing the 14yo boy in front of his door.

“I just… Sorry, I guess” Blurted the blonde in front of him.

“What? For what?” Izuku was beyond confused.

“Being an asshole with you for years?” Katsuki raised a brow, looking at him with low patience. That confused Izuku more, who only opened his mouth to let out a little “Oh, that...”. They shared a weird silence for a few moments and Izuku could tell Kacchan was struggling and not enjoying the uncomfortable atmosphere, so he tried to make it easier for both of them.

“You don’t have to do that. Kacchan already did. The Kacchan my age, I mean”

“I supposed. But being here and all this shit…” Kacchan seemed confused as well, something Izuku wasn’t able to see in his eyes before. For the first time, Izuku thought about how all this might be impacting the younger boy. If himself was confused and feeling too much, he couldn’t imagine just how much of that this young boy might be feeling. He felt bad about not having done anything for him, even if the boy wouldn't want Izuku to do anything for him.

“It’s okay. I understand it’s overwhelming. Thanks for coming here to say it to me. I appreciate it so, so much”

The teen huffed annoyed and hid his hand inside his pockets. He remained silent for a few moments, looking somewhere down the corridor. “Is it true?” Katsuki asked. When Izuku didn’t respond, looking at him with a crooked head, Katsuki clicked his tongue and looked at him with an exasperated expression. “Did you obtain the quirk when you were fourteen?”

“Oh, that. Yeah” Izuku nodded his head. “And in fact, you were the only one who knew that information for a long time. Well, the other Kacchan, you know” Izuku started fidgeting with his shirt. “I-I obtained it from someone else”

The silence they shared was full of emotions, full of unsaid words; neither knew how to feel or what to say. Until Katsuki murmured “Why?”

“Why what?” Izuku was still fidgeting with his shirt.

Katsuki stretched the silence some more until he finally asked, looking intensely at Izuku’s eyes. “Why? Why couldn’t you just stay quirkless and live a normal life?”

Izuku’s eyes widened, not believing what he just heard. “What!? Kacchan, it was always my dream to be a hero, you know it!!”

“I know! I fucking know! But you don’t have even a little bit of self-preservation. You are gonna get yourself killed!” The blonde had an expression Izuku was sure he was one of the few people who had ever seen it.

He looked... vulnerable.

Izuku opened his mouth, then furrowed his brows and closed it. His eyes widened slowly in realization. “Is that what you always tried to make me quit my dream?”

“Yeah!” Said the blonde, like stating the obvious.

“...I didn’t know it”

And Kacchan seemed startled by that. “The other one didn’t tell you...”

“No, I- I had no idea” Izuku shook his head, his face dropping to a pensive expression.

At that moment the kid slid beside Izuku, looking up at Katsuki, who ignored him completely. "You are not Big Katsuki, you are the middle schooler, right?” He didn’t wait for an answer and asked. “Are you worried about him? You don't need to, I'm right here" 

"What the fuck? Who said I'm worried, brat!" The teen scowled at the kid.

"You are, I can tell!” The kid looked up at Izuku and repeated. "He is. I told you he loves you, this one and the other two as well. I always will!"

Both Izuku and Katsuki stopped dead at that, eyes widening and faces starting to blush. The silence felt tense as their eyes collided. Izuku yelped and tried to fix the situation, face completely red out of embarrassment at that point.

“Do-don’t mind him. He doesn't know what he’s saying” Izuku shook his hands in front of him, scared of the reaction of that Kacchan. He had enough drama that day. “We were talking earlier about how Kacchan and I are friends again and-”

Katsuki interrupted him, looking annoyed but not sounding too harsh. "So you two are friends now huh?" 

"Um, yeah" Izuku nodded his head effusively, still trying to prevent an explosive reaction from the teen. But Katsuki kept talking, his face changing to a more pensive expression.

"And what? You ask each other about your days and talk about your feelings and shit?" 

"Yeah? Well, kinda, yeah" Izuku started to relax, letting his hands fall down to his sides.

"But you two are only friends, right?" The blonde raised a brow at him.

"What do you mean? We are still rivals, in some way, if that's what you are asking for" Izuku crooked his head trying to get where the boy was trying to get.

"Okay" A brief pause before a light smirk danced in the blonde’s lips. "You know what? Fuck it" Katsuki reached a hand forward and catched Izuku’s shirt to pull him towards his face, making their lips collide in the middle. After a few seconds, Katsuki pulled Izuku off a little and whispered at him. “That bastard spilled too much at me to handle at once and didn’t even break a sweat. I’m just returning the favor” He then let go of the other and turned around in time for Izuku to not be able to see his face. “Just so you know, I always wanted to do that”

___

This two broke my heart real badly 😔 💔 💔

PART 10 HERE

___

Izuku was now waiting for mini Kacchan outside the showers area. Kacchan had insisted he could do it himself, so Izuku just let him. It was the last few hours of the afternoon. They had had dinner already and now they were getting ready for bed. Izuku was there alone thinking about the interesting stories about Mini Kacchan that his classmates had told him earlier.

When the kid called him, claiming he was done, Izuku went inside the area and knelt beside him to help the kid accommodate the little new clothes Momo made for him.

“The guys told me you’re being rude” Izuku said, closing the last button of the little piyamas shirt.

“No, I’m not” The kid protested.

“They told me you’re sticking out your tongue and making offensive signs to them”

“What? They’re all snitches!”

“They aren’t!” Izuku laughed. “All of them find it adorable, but it’s not the right behaviour, Kacchan. I want to know why you would do that” Izuku grabbed the little red superhero shirt and the shorts the kid was wearing earlier and put them away to wash.

“Because I have to let them know I won!”

“Won what, Kacchan?” Izuku grabbed a stool and sat on it.

“They all like you. I have to compete with all of them!” The boy walked to be in front of Izuku, eyes full of determination.

“Are you having a competition for me with all my classmates and your future-selves?” Asked Izuku, incredulously.

“Yeah” The kid nodded. Izuku laughed at that, and the boy crossed his arms in response, angrily. “Don’t laugh!”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry! But you don’t have to do that”

“Why not?” The kid pouted, embarrassed, still with his little arms crossed over his chest.

“They are just my friends; you are all my friends. I’m allowed to have friends beside you, right?”

“Yes, but only if I’m your best friend”

“You are too cute. Come here” Izuku opened his arms and the boy reluctantly got between them. “That’s why you are my favorite. You are my favorite, remember?”

“Yeah, but…” Mini Kacchan pulled back a little and frowned, looking thoughtful. “What will happen when I’m gone?”

“Well, I’m gonna miss you a lot, that’s for sure” Stated Izuku.

“I don’t want to leave you here alone” The tenderness of the child was melting Izuku’s heart but he tried to ease the boy’s concern.

“I won’t be alone, Kacchan. I have all my friends. I’ll be fine, okay? And you’ll have mini Izuku to play with you again”

“That’s good. I like you but I miss my Izuku too”

Izuku smiled tenderly at him, tears burning his eyes. “I’m gonna miss you lots, baby” Izuku hugged him again and Kacchan hugged back, even if he was scolding him for calling him baby.

“I’ll tell Big Katsuki to take care of you!” Said the kid, turning around and sitting on top of Izuku’s legs.

“Oh, no need to do that” Izuku grabbed a towel and began to dry the kid’s hair with it.

“Why not? He should be doing it already!”

“And he is. In some way. I guess. I don’t know. I guess all the class are taking care of each other in one way or another” The kid turned to sit facing him.

“Aren’t you good friends or something?” The kid seemed really concerned about it.

“We are” Izuku noded. They were. But their relationship was much more and much less at the same time.

“But he doesn't take care of you like I do. And I didn’t want it to happen while I’m here, you’re mine, but you didn’t hug him or cuddle with him or anything like that” Izuku blushed at that. “Not even when he’s mad; not even when you’re sad. And I know you need that, you always needed the cuddles”

Izuku’s expresion turned a little sad, cheeks still pink, but he smiled at him either way. The kid was all nostalgia. “We... are not like that anymore. But that’s fine, we have other things now”

“But why not? Don’t you love him? I know he do, I’ll love you forever”

Izuku sighed, looking away. “Things are not that easy now” Izuku resumed drying his hair. “Be quiet, will you? Let me finish”

“You didn’t answer tho” Said the kid after a minute of silence.

“Listen. Of course I… love him,” His voice turned out stained. “but things are different now. We are not kids anymore, and he cares for me, I know that, but I doubt he loves me. And that’s okay! I mean-”

“But he does!”

“No, Kacchan. I- Nevermind, ok? Let’s go to bed now” Izuku let the kid on the floor and got up, placed the things in its place, and started to walk towards the elevator.

“You just said you are  friends, but you’ve been calling him by his last name all day. Are you not friends anymore? Is that why you think he doesn’t love you?”

“We are friends, Kacchan. I just got a little mad earlier, I don’t even know why I’m still doing it. It’s… Don’t worry about that”

“Why are you mad?”

“I don’t know. I get this situation is exhausting for him but it’s weird for me too. We’ve known each other our entire lives and all of you had an impact on me. It’s exhausting sometimes. It’s just… I’m feeling too much in a short space of time. And I have to get rid of all this fee-” Izuku stopped and looked down at the kid, an apologetic smile on his face. “I’m sorry. Forget it all. I don’t want you to think I don’t like having you around or anything like that”

“It’s okay. It’s weird for me too. I don’t know anyone but you and you’re all big and I’m not. Well, I am. But that’s not me even if it’s me”

“You’re so smart” Izuku tousled the kid’s hair. Once they reached Izuku’s room, the child climbed the bed and Izuku sat beside him. “Tomorrow I’ll spend the day with you, ok? I don’t want you to feel weird here”

“Okay! But you can spare with Big Katsuki, I won’t get jealous”

“It’s okay. Let’s get him aside for now”

“Are you still mad at him?”

“I’m not. He gave us snacks, after all, I think it’s a pretty good apology, don’t you think?” Izuku smiled, trying to reassure the kid that things were good, but the kid frowned a little, inspecting all his face with his curious eyes.

“But you seem sad. Are you sad?”

“I’m not-” Izuku started, but he couldn’t lie to Kacchan. “I’m a lil bit sad, but it’s okay”

“But why?” The kid seemed concerned, and Izuku sighed. He kept fucking all up, huh?

“Just… I wish I could be honest with Kacchan, with Big Kacchan, I mean, but he’s… I don’t want to take steps back in our relationship, but I can’t stop feeling the-” That moment someone knocked on the door. Izuku sighed and got up to open the door. Opening it, he almost didn’t believe his eyes.

“Kacchan?”

The young teen, the fourteen years old Katsuki, was there.

___

PART 9 HERE

__

The kid ran towards Izuku the second he put a foot inside the common room and glanced at the teen behind him. But he decided he wasn’t a threat; the teen just continued walking without looking at his Izuku and sat on the farthest seat available. That was right. He already had enough with that half white-half red hair boy and the spiky rocky one that afternoon. Why were there so many people trying to get to his Izuku? Didn’t they know who he was? He was Izuku’s best friend, future hero partner. They were gonna live together and be the best together. Maybe they’ll even marry each other, because his parents lived together and were married. Maybe adults only could live together if they were married. Either way, he was okay with that. But he had to be alert because there were many people there who wanted to be at Izuku’s side. And he couldn’t just allow that. After being around Izuku while he talked with his friends and so on, he finally guided Izuku to the center of the couch area to arrange all the All Might pillows, plushies and blankets. When all was ready, he made himself comfortable. He glanced at the teen blonde once more, just in case, because he was sitting nearest that he thought, but he was minding his own business. The other two blondes were even farther away. Cool.

A boy with glasses asked everyone to take a seat. He was using the control to play the movie on the TV and give some orders while the film started. He pulled Izuku’s hand to make him sit beside him in the nest of soft blankets and accepted the juice Izuku was offering him, tasting it through the straw.

“Yammy” Izuku smiled at him and Kacchan shoved the straw on his face. “Do you want some?”

“No, Kacchan, I’m fine” Izuku laughed as he dodged the straw. Mini Kacchan shrugged and took another sip.

“Hey, are you watching a movie without inviting me?” A brightly blonde wined, throwing his body on top of Izuku’s back, making him bend over. “How mean, Mido-chan” The guy pouted and Izuku was quickly apologizing. Who was this?

“Sorry, Kaminari-kun, I’m sure I sended a text to the whole class. Maybe you didn’t read it?” The blonde left Izuku’s back and lay beside him. From where Kacchan was sitting on the other side of Izuku, he could only see the boy’s head. He was still pouting. “So can I stay?”

“Of course. Everybody is welcome!”

“Yeey” He yelled, getting up and running calling for somebody else to join them all. Mini Kacchan frowned. So he was not safe even watching the movie. He would have to be on guard. He looked around the room, glaring at everyone individually. Some of them smiled or waved at him; he stuck his tongue out at them. The last he glared at was his younger teen future-self, who now was analicing Izuku with a strange focused face. He glared more fiercely, but the boy wasn’t noticing him. So he got up and sat between Izuku’s legs. He’d made sure anyone could have a chance.

The movie started and he was so invested in it he almost forgot his mission. But then someone sat beside him and Izuku.

“What are we watching?” That was the other Katsuki teen; the ‘original’.

“The second All Might movie”

“Didn’t you watch this same movie last week?” His big self grabbed one of the All Might plushies and was inspecting it, seeming uninterested.

“And what about that, Bakugou? I like it and the younger Kacchans didn't watch it yet” The kid noticed how tense the teen was. Both were tense, to be honest. He placed a hand over Izuku’s hand and he looked at him, a small smile on his lips. “Are you enjoying the movie?”

The kid only nodded. At least he released some of Izuku’s tension. The other teen left the plushie and got up, marching towards the kitchen. Was his future-self always annoyed? When he is annoyed with his mother or another kid, he always counts on Izuku to make him feel better, playing heroes or hunting bugs. Maybe big Katsuki was missing big Izuku.

Big Katsuki came back a few minutes later with two bowls of popcorn. Mini Kacchan looked around and saw that some of the others had their own bowls. Maybe he can snatch some. But that wasn’t necessary, because Big Katsuki handed one to Izuku.

“Here” Izuku looked up at him and fearing he wouldn’t grab it, the kid grabbed the bowl himself. Izuku helped him to settle it down and looked again at Big Katsuki.

“Thanks”

“Are you two okay sharing? I can bring more if you want” Big Katsuki asked them, still standing beside them.

“It’s okay. We can share. Thanks again” Izuku smiled at him, lightly, but smiled. Mini Kacchan shoved a few popcorn on Izuku’s mouth, making Katsuki snort.

“I can eat myself, Kacchan” The kid shrugged and shoved the next handful of popcorn in his own mouth.

“Is it okay if I stay here?” Big Katsuki asked softly. Izuku looked at Mini Kacchan, and asked in a soft voice himself.

“What do you think, little boy? Do you mind sharing?” The two teens were looking at him, and he thought about it for a few seconds.

“You brought snacks, so it’s okay this time” He said to his future self, shrugging and making himself comfortable on Izuku’s lap again. Big Katsuki sat beside them, putting his own bowl of popcorn between him and Izuku.

“Sorry about earlier” The kid heard the blonde say after a few minutes. He looked back at him, and then at Izuku. Izuku looked a little surprised and a little... sad.

“It’s okay,” he murmured, looking at Katsuki with a faint smile. “I’m sorry, too. I shouldn't...” Izuku shook his head a little and found the kid staring. He smiled wider at him, but it didn't really reach his green eyes. “Look, this part is really good” He pointed at the TV and accommodated the little boy on his lap again. And he was right. The movie was awesome, and he even forgot his mission or wondering about what happened between big Katsuki and Izuku. In the more exciting scenes of the movie, he would even jump out of Izuku’s lap and jump in place, or kick the air trying to copy the moves on the TV. Izuku would smile fondly at him and Big Katsuki would snort but smile at him. Some of the others were recording him with their phones; some even joined him. 

___

PART 8 HERE

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another small update, sorry

___

Katsuki was angrily coming back to the dorms, freshly showered after running out of energy training on his own. On his way, he found Todoroki already looking for him. Shouto talked all the way back to his room.

“I think you should come, your quirk is not fire but...”

“Maybe next time, I’m not in the mood for Todoroki’s drama this week”

Todoroki nodded and sended a few texts while the two of them entered his room.

“You are annoyed” Said Todoroki after a brief silence.

“You think?” Katsuki barked.

“Yeah” Todoroki crossed his legs over his futon, looking at the blonde with a blank expression. “More than usual, I mean”

“Piss off man”

“Did something happen?”

Katsuki groaned and fell flat on his back over his own futon installed on the other’s room floor. “I just want all back to normal, this is all too exhausting”

“I was talking about you being annoyed, not exhausted, but ok” Katsuki rolled his head to look at the other with a scowl. “What? You are” Defended Todoroki.

“Yes, I am. And you ain’t helping”

“Did they keep ‘getting in your way’?” Asked Todoroki, bringing back Katsuki’s own words from last night.

“I tried to get some sense in the troublemaker, but the kid is now against me for some fucking reason I don’t know about and the adult is being as annoying as always”

“And?” Todoroki stated, grabbing his phone to scroll through his notifications, uninterested in them.

“And what?”

“And what more?” Katsuki sighed. Todoroki peered at him above his phone. “How long have we been friends? I just know you, Katsuki, don’t be annoyed about that”

“Okay. You know what? Fuck it” The blonde straightened up and sat up leg crossed in front of his friend. Todoroki let his phone aside. “I was pissed off and argued with Deku, ok? And now he’s calling me Bakugou? Like, who? He never called me that way”

“And you don’t like that, right?”

“No, I don’t fucking like it. Are you listening?” Katsuki ran his hands through his hair. “It’s all that fucking extra and his fucking stupid quirk’s fault. What’s the use of splitting up a person in different ages, huh? Fucking useless”

“I think it can be useful as a therapy tool, to discover origins of trauma or to help with cases of amnesia. Maybe?”

“Ok. Whatever. That’s not the fucking point here”

“Yeah, okay. So why don’t you tell him to not call you that way?” Genuinely asked Todoroki.

“Because I tell him to not call me the same way he calls the kid and he chose to change the way he calls me, instead of him. Which I don’t understand, because I’m Kacchan”

“He’s a kid?” Todoroki almost laughed.

“And?” Katsuki rolled his eyes.

“Do you expect him to call a kid by his last name?”

“I don’t know. He can call him by his first name. Fuck, he could call me by my first name, why my last? Fucking nerd”

“If you two had argued, maybe he’s just giving you a lesson. I don’t think Izuku is even able to stop calling you ‘Kacchan’” Todoroki smiled slightly at him. “Is it really that important, tho?”

“It’s my last name, man. We never called each other by our last name. It’s upsetting. He’s calling ‘Kacchan’ the middle schooler, who is my lowest, and not me. I can’t stand that”

“Do you want me to talk to Izuku about it?”

“No, I fucking don’t” Katsuki groaned and let himself fall back on his back again. “I keep fucking it all up”

“I honestly…” Todoroki paused for a moment. “Don’t get this wrong, ok? You said sometimes I’m too honest and that, but-”

“Just spit it out, ohmygod!” Katsuki groaned again, rolling his eyes.

“Okay. I was thinking maybe you need to be honest. With Izuku. I know you don’t like to talk to people, but you can be honest with me because we are friends. And you both are too. More than that, I’ll say. Izuku is a very comprehensive boy, I’m sure it all would be okay”

“Yeah, you’re talking nonsenses”

“I’m not and you know it. I know you like him”

“...I miss the days you were too dense to know even what the fuck was happening around you, man. Fucking annoying”

“Seriously, you need to stop being annoyed by the truth” Stated Todoroki, which led Katsuki to throw a pillow to his face. “Okay. Let’s go watch the movie. Maybe you two can make peace”

Todoroki smiled faintly at the first ‘Bakugou’ and Katsuki almost blew up his face at that. But he couldn’t help it. It was incredibly odd in Midoriya’s mouth. But he noticed the way Izuku seemed uncomfortable doing it, so he thought it would all be fixed in a maximum of a few days. When the younger Bakugou exploded, Izuku called him Kacchan, like always, like he always did, and Todoroki understood better.

“...the fucking middle schooler and not me…” Murmured the blonde. Todoroki patted his back in comfort before Katsuki marched towards his younger self and Izuku. He wasn’t a good example of good communication, but the past years he had been learning and definitely those two needed to talk.

___

PART 7 HERE

small update but I realized I didn’t write any MS!Katsuki POV so...

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“Here” said the stranger.

The teen looked at the stupid All Might plushies in his arms. He was ready to blow them away when he recognized one. The colors were a little faded and in the brand label there wasn't any letter remaining. He had given that to Deku when they were very little. He had won the same prize twice in a game and gifted one to Deku when he didn’t win one on his own.

“Shouto-kun, that’s…” Izuku tried to stop his friend, fucking apparently, giving the first name shit that’s going between them. But the Canadian-flag-hair boy was already leaving. Searching for Katsuki. Was there another Katsuki in there? Was that boy talking about his future self? Did the nerd and him share friends now? Apart from the fact that they were fucking friends now?!

When Deku tried to take his things back, apologizing and looking at him with a scared fucking face, he murmured a “fucking shut up already, nerd” and keep going, carring the stupid nerdy stuff.

Entering the common room, he just went to the farest seat available, leaving the plushies beside the blankets and pillows tower placed in the middle of the room. There were a few of Deku's classmates there. And they started talking all friendly with the nerd. So now he had all this attention, huh? All these other people.

The kid kept himself around Deku all the time, always gravitationing around him. He remembered the time they were inseparables. They would go to the forest to hunt bugs and to the park to live adventures. They would spend entire afternoons talking about superheroes and how they would fight evil together. When they both had their quirks. But Deku didn’t have one.

And never would.

And still, he always was more of a hero than himself. He would always get into trouble without being able to get out of it without suffering. The fucking idiot. Always getting in trouble for the sake of others. Always being beaten for the sake of others. Always protecting others like he had the fucking stregh to do so. He only would leave hurt. 

Katsuki feared him. Always afraid of not being better than a nobody without power. Always afraid of losing him for good. The fucking idiot and his fucking big heart. Ready for anybody to destroy it. Fuck. 

And now there he was. Wearing that big kind heart on his sleeve and all these people around him acting like it was okay. His future-selves acting like this all was okay. Like it was okay for Deku, who doesn’t think about himself first fucking ever, to be a public hero.

He had a strong quirk now. Okay. Whatever. That’s just a bigger diana on his back.

The boy sighed. He was so conflicted. Seeing the little kid excited because they would be hero partners in the future, a duo, and the adult fucker smiling like it would be just like that… made him feel things. And that’s fucked up. Had he spent all those years pushing Deku away from him to now feel like he wanted that? Bullshit. Fucking bullshit.

“He’s gonna make it and we both know it’s better if I’m there with him”

What kind of bullshit was that too? Like he was gonna spend his life protecting and keeping fucking Deku out of trouble. He would never sacrifice anything for him. Anything. Never. He wasn’t worth it.

Two fuckers sitting nearby almost jumped out of their skin when an involuntary explosion cracked on his hands. It annoyed him to no end knowing that wasn’t true. Had spent years trying to convince himself hadn’t changed shit. And that annoyed him. He was mad. Mad at himself. At Deku. At his future selves. At his past self. Mad at everyone in that room. At everyone in that world.

“Kacchan?!”

When he raised his head, all his other versions were looking at him, along with all the other people in the room. But Deku was the only one who walked towards him. While the original blonde now present there tried to stop him.

“Are you okay?!”

“Leave me the fuck alone” Murmured him, embarrased his emotions made him explode in that place, with all that people looking down at him. He brushed his hands on his pants and crossed his arms over his chest.

“You know we are friends, you can talk to me” Insisted Deku, talking quietly so only Katsuki could hear him.

“We’re not fucking friends, shitty nerd. Leave me the fuck alone. I’m only here because I don’t have anywhere to go, ok? And don’t pretend you care”

“I’m not pretending, Kacchan” Said Deku, a hint of sadness in his voice.

“LEAVE ME ALONE”

“Come on, Deku, leave him” The original came to grab Deku and mouthed a “calm down” to him.

“Mind your own business, blondie” He retorted. The two blondes rolled their eyes at each other and Deku sighed. Suddenly a brunette entered the room, ready for a fight.

“Deku-kun? What happened? What was that noise?”

What.the.fuck?! Did that chick called him fucking Deku? And the nerd wasn’t complaining but smiling friendly at her while explaining? What the fuck was hapening? Now it was a pet name or what? While he was trying to explain to himself what all that means, another boy comes into the scene. He called for attention and all students sat down in different places while the said boy put up a movie. Katsuki couldn’t pay attention to the film; too many things to think about.

___