Dei A.

Look, it's Indie Bookstore Day on Saturday, which is absolutely why B&N is doing this now (April 23-25), but the good news is that I have two books. So, you could order one from each??? I don't know. Capitalism is hard and we're all doing our best.

TITAN OF THE STARS, a story that "vibrates with terror, offering readers a compelling and harrowing treat" (Kirkus ⭐)

I turned off anon weeks ago because these were the things that were being sent to me.

It is a very long story now and it’s still ongoing. Long story short, one person started a rumor that I was one of the purity anons going around harassing a lot of hotd writers and it really breaks my heart and caused a lot of problems for me.

I am absolutely not one of the harassing psycho anons and I have never been. I would go out of my way to reach out to people who were getting hate to comfort and reassure them. It’s how I even made some friends on here. If I did send someone an anon, it was a drabble or something funny to make them laugh and then I would instantly confess that it was me, either in a DM or under the comments of the original ask.

I may be pretty vanilla and love to headcanon the hotd characters as sweet and loving but I am the farthest thing from a prude. I have been reading and writing smut for years now. I tried to be a good friend to everyone and I always did my best to reach out to the writers and bloggers in the hotd fandom who I saw being victims of the harassing anons so these false accusations really sting.

The thing that stresses me out the most is the the real anon was scared off or happy they got me as a scapegoat so people that blocked me will think its me. If the anon starts harassing people again, people think it’s me. I feel like I can’t win.

Every week, I feel safe enough to turn anon back on and the harassment instantly starts back up again.

Even a month later, I still have former friends blocking me and not answering me. No one can answer why they are doing this to me.

I really wish I could have fun in the fandom again and to get back to writing. Honestly, it makes me jealous and bitter to know the people who bullied me are just having fun and writing like normal after destroying me and my reputation on here.

To be honest, I don’t have the greatest life and this fandom was my little escape and I’ve been feeling suicidal lately because of all of this and my fun escape being ruined and I don’t care how pathetic that makes me sound.

I thought you guys were my friends. Please just stop doing this to me, I didn’t do anything to deserve it. People are still making fun of me and mocking me for being upset that my former friends think I’m one of these horrible anons that have been harassing the fandom for months now.

I never got this involved in a fandom like this before and I never made so many friends and connections. Before this situation, it was the most fun I have ever had in a fandom.

I’ve been constantly promising and talking about my upcoming fics since August. But situations like this truly kill my love for writing and it breaks my heart because again, I’ve never loved a fandom and its characters this much. I have never been inspired to write for a fandom quite like this one but it seems like all my WIPs and ideas are a pipe dream now. I can’t even enjoy just thinking about my favorite characters, let alone reading them or writing them. Maybe it’s worse because of my autism but I just can’t even think of my favorite characters without getting depressed or anxious. I really am heartbroken that I haven’t been able to write anything about my beloved characters.

For the past year, I have so many ideas for fics and I was so inspired and now I’m truly afraid I will never get the chance to work on them because this month has been so upsetting for me. I have constant anxiety and panic attacks almost daily.

I have to work all weekend and then I have to catch up on some school work so I promise I’ll explain more later because I know this probably sounds like a crashout rant.

I just feel like I’m not “allowed” to enjoy anything in this fandom anymore. I just wish I could have fun like I used to. I have had this account for over 10 years, since I was a young kid and I don’t want to start over. Plus I told many people specific details about my WIPs so it would be easy to find me again. I just put so much work in to this silly blog and I still have some amazing friends that I am so grateful for. I’m just devastated that my blog is ruined and forever tainted for absolutely no reason.

Hello everyone!

We're happy to announce that we're collaborating with @thenorthsource to support refugees and victims of the genocides in Palestine, Lebanon & the Sudan.

We're offering to fulfil any gif request, graphic or art request, just as long as you make a donation to the vetted families and charities listed below:

PALESTINE

Dina Maliha (€36,656 raised €50K goal) Google Doc of vetted fundraisers; Dina is 160 on the list

Mohamed Hamad (£12,661 raised of £50,000 goal) Mohamed is 145 on the list

Mahmoud Qassas (€15,265 raised of €100,000 goal) Mahmoud is 62 on the list

SUDAN

Eman Abdulrahman (GFM CHF37,325 raised of CHF50,000 goal, Chuffed $2,548 raised of $30,000) Eman is 213 on the list

Khartoum Kitchen

LEBANON

Lebanese Red Cross

Prices:

- graphics: 5$

- gifsets: 5$

- lineart sketch - 10$

- simple coloring - 15$

- complex coloring - 20$

- halfbody portrait - 50$

- fullbody portrait - 100$

ARTISTS

@adharaphoenix

@cappucosmic

@sofikiii

@asparklethatisblue

@martelldragon

@aemondtargaryen

@amuelia

@snoozingfae

Please consider donating, and if you are unable to participate, please reblog this post!