The single greatest roast in television history
Fai_Ryy

Xuebing Du
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we're not kids anymore.
🩵 avery cochrane 🩵
icyghini twinkie
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her

if i look back, i am lost
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸

❣ Chile in a Photography ❣

bliss lane

Origami Around
Keni
Today's Document

Andulka

Discoholic 🪩
🪼
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"

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@definitelynotblogcrank
The single greatest roast in television history

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Why would you say leave me alone if you don’t mean it though
Because that’s what girls do lol
Anyone with the thought process of [Say “A”] => [Hope the receiving party thinks you mean opposite of “A”] needs to work on their communication skills.
Andrea the Android
In year 3021, robots of all sorts have fully simulated into society. Engineering and artificial intelligence has been perfected to such an extent that certain androids have become nearly indistinguishable from humans. Most notably among these marvels of creation is Andrea: the remarkable union of art and science. Beautifully carved titanium plates protect her intricate wires and circuits, brilliant crystals peer curiously into the world around her, and a sophisticated cortex guides her through each action at imperceivable speeds. Andrea’s main directive is one of great importance: pursue happiness and to share it with others. To aid in her pursuit of happiness, she has successfully found a suitable partner, and together they raise two adopted children. All was proceeding well, until tragedy struck Andrea’s family. One of their children had fallen ill with a peculiar sickness, and despite the endeavors of the best medicinal specialists, no cure was able to be discovered. Andrea’s family began falling apart. Her loyal husband began to brew distrust and enmity in his heart, their remaining child grew distant and no longer produced love for either parent, and Andrea herself was running out of time before her directive would be unable to complete from the abyss of misery. She became desperate, she would do anything to salvage her family. Rules and regulations were holding her back, but Andrea had enough. Strange and mysterious medicines could hold the answer for her, thus the call of the Black Market became too enticing. It is law that all transactions of unapproved drugs are a felony that results in incarceration. This risk was of no concern to Andrea. Traveling to the underbelly of the grand city, Andrea knew exactly where the hub of all dark trades took place. Cautiously, she began asking around for information about this mysterious disease but each lead only brought upon dead ends or another faint hint of a tail to catch. However, one unfortunate encounter with a hooded figure brought about red and blue lights accompanied with a blaring siren into the hub. Trying to escape, Andrea tried to run away, but all of the recent tension caused one of her legs to malfunction, thus resulting in her capture. Andrea, then, was convicted of intent of illegal transaction, a high class crime, and was thrown into an android jail. After enduring her perilous fall from grace, Andrea became mentally broken. Family in pieces and now incarcerated, she turned to the only answer she saw fit: start anew and rebuild from her ruins. This jail also functioned as a rehabilitation center for its inmates, filled with areas for learning and upgrading. Each day she spent several hours replacing and improving her parts, in hopes of never falling short. Hours more spent in updating her local interior database and reasoning cortex, as to never need to resort to external sources again. In her time of improvement, she met two other androids from her same cell on the path of improvement: Jude, a disloyal android convicted of high treason; and Petra, a robot known for distributing recreational drugs. This trio became a tight knit group that gave each other greater purpose on their separate but similar journeys to reenter society as bettered citizens. Days pass. Weeks pass. Months pass by like nothing. These three androids began to change physically as well as morally. Most noticeably, Andrea replaced her energy storage with a miniature nuclear reactor and her limbs were refitted with custom built hydraulic pistons. To separate herself from her past life, she also began to go by “Drea”. Noticing her improvement, the warden began to consider letting Drea leave early. Upon hearing this, Drea was elated, her efforts have finally began to show fruition. A grand party was held in her honor the evening before her release, and all were merry. Drea, Jude, and Petra all celebrated Drea’s soon to come freedom, and the remaining two will use Drea’s freedom as a source of drive and motivation. When the clock struck 12 midnight, Drea’s deranged husband suddenly broke into the jail’s gathering space and began to violently destroy everything in sight. Drea told her cell mates to retreat back to the cell as she would distract her previous lover. Eyes locked, Drea made the first move and threw a table at him with ease. Without missing a beat, she ran after her fellow cons to accompany them in their cell. After catching up in their cell, Drea forcefully slid the five foot thick steel door to cover the passage inside. Ironic how the door that kept that from escaping their cell would now keep them safe from the terrors of the outside. The sound of metal chairs and spare parts being thrown into the barrier slowly died out to the sound of police commands and the wails of a man who has lost too much. After the commotion had died down, Drea tried to open the sliding door, but it appeared as though the force of her closing it had sealed it shut. The girth of the door ensured that no one could penetrate through the gigantic seal. In the midst of their thinking, a rather tingly and unsatisfying feeling coursed through the three androids. Unknowing to them, Drea’s ex-husband set off an EMP that was supposed to decommission Drea completely. However, due to Drea’s switch to nuclear power, she was mostly unaffected. Unlike Drea, her two friends were not so lucky. Drea knew that they only had a few minutes to be revived before they would permanently be offline. The decision was simple, she would disassemble herself to save her friends, converting her power into electricity that would be useable by her comrades. She set to work. . . . By the time her friends woke up, it was too late and she was gone. Drea was memorialized for her noble deeds and her rise back to where she once fell from.
This is how the mighty con Drea became the power house of the cell.
our house
in the middle of the street
So much bravery in one video. See more http://www.collegehumor.com LIKE us on: http://www.facebook.com/collegehumor FOLLOW us on: http://www.twitter.com/coll...
Disagree? fight me.

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i ran a bath n added bubbles n they ended up looking like a butt I accidentally made a bubble butt
who is she
Damn, you got kik, bath?
I'm not sorry
Ok so
my name is Rebecca but I hate the nicknames Becca and Becky for myself, too bad Becky has been my nickname for my whole life BUT IM GOING AWAY TO COLLEGE SOON SO WHO WANNA SUGGEST SOME COOL NICKNAMES TO ME FOR MY COOL COLLEGE PERSONA
a little abt my personality: -i like oldies🎶 -i like science🔬 -the idea of becoming an adult makes me cry✖️
url/selfie doodles
v bored so if ur following me reblog this post for a url/selfie doodle depending on what i feel like I’m totally bored and out of practice so hmu!
okÂ
reblog this and I’ll draw you a personalised dinosaur
I need practice - feel free to drop me an ask if you want a specific dinosaur/features
dinosaurs are the only things I’m half decent at drawing

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Lingfan “Draw your OTP” thingy!!
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“being two degrees of separation away from everyone who wants me dead and vice versa makes tumblr v exciting these days”
isn’t really something you should say after a community becomes aware that youve been sexually harassing people
dear “do not reblog” blogs, as in, blogs that purposely reblog personal posts for some dickish reason,
we get it, you’re not breaking any rules by doing this, but you’re still being a huge dick because sometimes people want to get support through replies or responding messages without their personal posts getting shipped around the internet
they might not put it on “private” because they’re opening the post up for that kind of support
and it allows them to keep their blog posts all in one place
so why do you get off on such inconsiderate behavior
“haha i’m not breaking the ruuuuules pbbbbbbt” what are you, five? you can still be a complete asshat without breaking any rules
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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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my eyes burn from crying and theyre gonna look weird tomorrow but ho well!!!
even though i hate anti sjws and i block them whenever they follow me, i end up unblocking them later because i actually like the attention