I cannot stress enough how important it is to do silly, frivolous things that serve no other purpose than making you happy.

i love flash drives theyre like small animals to me. like minnows

they sacked my fucking fiefdom. it's so over. i'll never be able to afford the king's taxes. i don't have a single fucking asset to my name except *winks shyly* my special sex ability🫣

You've heard of the man, the myth, the legend. Now get ready for the woman, the omen, the portent.

Politicians are always promising to make life easier for "hardworking families." And that's fine but I wish they would sometimes think about lazy single people too

talkin shit

A spoon's only objective in life is to make soup go upwards, and it knows this. That's why when you put one under a running tap it blasts the water way high. The spoon thinks there's suddenly TONS of soup to deal with and it freaks out.