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the second you enter tyler and cat’s place, music and laughter fills your ears. you reach down to adjust the neckline of your dress one more time. the fabric hugs your chest perfectly, pushing your tits up.

you spot macklin across the room right away, leaning against the counter beside will, drink in hand. his eyes lock onto you the second you appear and they don’t move.

before you could make your way towards him cat interrupts, pulling you in for a hug. “you made it! i’m so glad you’re here.” she grins, pulling back and giving you a small smirk when she takes in the outfit.

“nice going on the dress, you’ve got to lend it to me sometime.” she teases.

you laugh, cheeks going slightly pink at her words before nodding. “my closet is also yours cat— you already know that.”

cat links her arms with yours, pulling you towards the living room. you glance back one more time towards macklin who was already looking right back at you. you give a small smile and turn your head back around to pay attention to whatever cat was rambling on about.

on the other side of the room, macklin was completely losing his mind. seeing you walk in that dress hugging your curves perfectly he can’t help but feel the heat growing in his pants.

he watches as you tilt your head back and laugh at whatever cat was saying. his eyes constantly switching in between staring at your face to your chest.

will beside him catches the way macklin completely zoned out in every conversation they were having as soon as you walked in and smirks to himself knowing his best friend was practically obsessed.

“dude— could you want her more?”

“what?”

that snaps macklin out of his staring trance just for a second, eyes scanning wills face to see the teasing glance as he takes another sip from his beer.

“she’s not even been here for like five minutes and you’re already watching her like a creep. at least try to be subtle.”

macklin mutters something under his breath but his gaze stays fixed back on you. you feel the weight of it even from across the room. you grab a drink and start making your way toward them, pretending not to notice how his eyes keep dropping to your chest. when you reach them, will grins at you.

“took you long enough.” he jokes, pulling you into a hug before grabbing your seltzer and taking a sip. you gasp; swatting his shoulder. “get your own.”

will chuckles, taking another sip before handing it back to you. “mack was just saying how much he likes your dress.”

macklin shoots him a glare but his attention snaps straight back to you as he smiles sheepishly. his eyes flick down again, tracing the swell of your tits before he forces them back up. you catch the look and feel a spark of satisfaction yet nervousness.

on purpose, you cross your arms under your chest and push upward, making your boobs press up even more against the fabric. macklin lets out a shaky exhale, trying to brush it off by taking a sip out of his drink but that’s what did it for him.

the conversation drifts between you three, but every time macklin speaks his eyes betray him. they drop when you lean forward to set your drink down. will keeps teasing him quietly but macklin barely reacts anymore.

you quietly excuse yourself from the conversation, heading back to cat and chatting her up before going up to use the washroom. you reapply your gloss and reach for the door to be met with macklin, flinching not expecting anyone to be there.

“gosh mack— you scared me.” you say, clutching your chest causing him to grin. “sorry, didn’t mean to startle you.”

his gaze once again flickers towards your chest and this time you can’t help but smirk.

“take a picture— it’ll last you longer.”

macklin laughs, shaking his head before poking his cheek with this tongue.

“alright, you caught me but come on now, you look absolutely gorgeous.”

you try not to react but his words make you feel absolutely giddy on the inside. you reach down and adjust the top slightly before running your fingers down the fabric to smooth it down.

“i think i did pretty good with my dress.”

“oh, 100 fucking percent.”

his hands slide up your sides, thumbs brushing the undersides of your breasts through the dress. the air feels thick between you. “been watching you all night, y/n. please tell me you’re feeling something here too.”

you bite your lip, the feeling of his fingers against the side of your hips bring heat in between your thighs. “mack.”

“every time you crossed your arms like that, pushing these out just to watch me lose it. you knew exactly what you were doing.”

you gasp slightly, his fingers moving from your side to brush softly against the fabric clinging to your chest.

you feel your pulse quicken as he keeps talking. “i can’t just be your friend anymore. when i look at you, i get these thoughts no friend should be getting.”

you shut him up by slamming your lips against his. he’s taken back just for a second but quickly retaliates, pulling you flush against him. the kiss is messy and heated, full on tension and unspoken words. his fingers reach down towards the back of your dress to pull the zipper down.

you pull away, resting your forehead against his. “mack— someone will see.”

“come with me.”

you don’t hesitate. he steers you down the hallway into the guest bedroom and the door clicks shut behind you. his lips are against yours again, straight to business as his fingers drag up your back to slowly undo the zipper of your dress.

the fabric slips around your shoulders before dropping at your hips, macklins eyes lock on your bare chest, his hands coming up to cups them both, squeezing hard, thumbs rubbing over your nipples. “fuck, look at these you’re so perfect.”

he leans down and sucks one nipple into his mouth, tongue flicking and teeth grazing just enough to make you gasp. his hand works the other, pinching and rolling while he switches between them, leaving both wet and aching. you arch into his mouth, fingers threading into his hair.

“mack.” you whine.

“shh baby,” he says against your skin, pushing you back onto the bed. macklin drops to his knees between your thighs and pulls the dress down. his fingers hook into your panties, tossing them aside.

his fingers slide through your folds, spreading your slick before pushing inside you. he pumps them slowly, curling just right, thumb circling your clit. “so fucking wet already? i’ve barely done anything yet.”

you moan and rock against his hand. he pulls his fingers out licking them clean as you make a sound of discontent. “mack— i was so close.” you whine, jutting your hips up.

he smirks before standing up shoving his jeans down. “i know but i’d rather be inside you when i make you cum.”

macklin strokes himself once then climbs over you, lining up and pushing in slow so you feel every inch stretching you open. your walls clench around him and he groans, resting his forehead against yours. “god, you feel so perfect. been waiting to fuck you since you showed up in that dress.”

he starts thrusting, hips snapping forward in a steady rhythm that makes your tits bounce with every movement. his eyes stay locked on them. “look at these fucking tits bouncing while i fuck you.”

his pace picks up, harder and deeper. one hand grips your hip while the other reaches up to squeeze your tit, pinching the nipple again. “you’re mine now, no more just friends bullshit. say it y/n.”

“i’m yours,” you gasp, legs wrapping around his waist as he riles in deeper causing you to squeal against him as he keeps hitting that same spongey spot inside of you that has you seeing stars.

“louder, baby c’mon please.”

“i’m yours, mack.”

“that’s my fucking girl.”

he fucks you faster, the wet sound of skin on skin filling the room. his hand slips between you to rub your clit, pushing you right to the edge. “cum for me, i know you’re close.”

your orgasm crashes through you, walls pulsing around him as you moan his name. macklin keeps going, hips stuttering as he buries himself deep and releases inside you with a groan.

he stays there for a moment, breathing heavy, then pulls out slow watching his cum leaks out of you with a satisfied smirk.

he helps you sit up and helps you get back into the dress and zip it up, straightening down the fabric. “we’re not done,” he murmurs. “after the party you’re coming home with me, and this dress stays on until i tell you to take it off.”

your fingers tapped lightly against the armrest as you stared out the window at the view of endless clouds which normally you thought was beautiful but today it just reminded you how far away from home you were.

you look down at your phone again to the email that was still open. you knew every single word at this point. you knew the date of your meeting, the time, the building, the names of the advisors you would be speaking with.

you knew everything.

and yet somehow your brain kept convincing you that maybe if you reread it enough times, you’d find something you missed that would make you feel more prepared.

something that could possibly stop the nerves from crawling up your chest. you’re constantly trying to tell yourself it’s fine, that everything will be okay.

except your mind really doesn’t believe that it’s fine.

five years ago, this was exactly where you wanted to be. you remembered being eighteen and sitting in your bedroom, mapping out your entire future like you had some kind of guarantee that everything would work out exactly the way you planned.

you thought the hardest part would be getting here. the degree and applications and the endless nights where you questioned if you were actually good enough.

you had done all of that and gotten through it but now that the opportunity was finally sitting right in front of you, all you could think about was everything that could go wrong which makes you feel upset with yourself.

because you’ve spent years preparing for this. you knew you were qualified and you knew you deserved to be there but knowing something and actually believing it were two completely different things.

your stomach twists with anxiety and then because apparently your brain needed something else to stress about, you remembered you were staying at will’s place.

somehow that still felt nerve racking. you had no problem staying with grace. grace has been your best friend since you were kids.

you’ve slept over at the smith house more times than you could count. you’ve had dinners there, helping colleen and bill set up the plates and get the food out on the table and even spent weekends there whenever your schedule cleared up with school and work.

that house felt familiar.

but will?

will was different because he had always just been there but never actually there.

you knew of him and about him. you knew every accomplishment because grace would tell you about her younger brother with so much pride.

you were aware of how hard he worked and how much he loved hockey and how seriously he took everything. you and will had somehow spent years existing in the same circle without ever actually meeting and now you were going to be sleeping under the same roof as him for over a week.

you covered your face with your hands, huffing to yourself.

why did grace have to be so good at convincing people?

-

when the plane lands, you felt like you could finally breathe again.

well, kinda.

now the nerves had shifted. before it was the flight, now it was everything else.

you grabbed your suitcase from baggage claim and start scanning the crowd. you didn’t even have to look for long because you hear her before you see her.

“y/n!”

you barely had time to turn around before grace was wrapping her arms around you pulling you into a tight hug.

“hi to you too.”

she pulls away, grin resting on her face. “i missed you.”

“we just talked yesterday.” you tease, shaking your head to which she rolls her eyes.

“yeah but over the phone. just say you missed me too.”

“yeah yeah, i missed you too grace.”

and just like that, some of the tension in your shoulders ease because that was grace. she could make everything feel normal.

behind her stood colleen and bill. the moment you walked over, colleen pulled you into a hug.

“it’s been too long y/n! how was the flight?”

“it was good.”

she pulls away, giving you a small squeeze before letting bill pull you into a hug.

“did you at least get some sleep?”

you smile sheepishly which was more than enough of an answer for the both of them.

“y/n— you need to rest up!”

“i know, i will tonight.”

“you better.”

you huff, brushing your hair out of your face turning to look at grace who just shrugs in response. bill and colleen have always treated you like a third child hence why you’re always getting the stern parent talk even when yours aren’t around.

bill smiles, reaching down to grab your suitcase from you.

“ready to go?”

you nod but then the realization of where you were getting ready to go to hits you.

will’s place.

“wait.”

you pause, swallowing quickly to get rid of the nerves. “are you— are you sure this is okay?”

colleen sighs, shaking her head at the words that leave your mouth.

“y/n, honey we’ve talked about this countless times before you even got onto your flight. it’s more than okay.”

“i know but—”

“no buts.”

“i just don’t want to be in the way.”

bill stares at you in disbelief, “you’re not in the way.”

“but you’re here for will.”

“you’re also family too y/n; you always have been.”

you open your mouth to retaliate but quickly shut it once you see colleen give you that classic mom glare to which she nods in contentment when she notices it still do its charm back from yours and graces teenage years.

“now let’s go.”

the drive was beautiful, that was the first thing you noticed. you have never been to san jose before and everything looked different from home.

the streets and buildings and the weather, everything felt unfamiliar and new which was exciting yet terrifying all at once knowing that this could be the city that you’ll be living in if it all works out in your favour.

you sit in the backseat beside grace while she talked about random things. mostly stuff that had happened at home to which you tried listening to but your mind kept wandering.

what would will be like?

would it be awkward?

would he think you were some annoying chick intruding?

would he regret saying yes?

your fingers twisting nervously at the rings until grace places a hand on top of yours to stop the fidgeting. you look up at her as she gives you a sweet comforting smile, squeezing your hand tight.

“you’re okay.” she reassures, voice firm in a way where you can tell she’s trying to make any doubt in your mind disappear.

when you all eventually pull up outside will’s apartment, your heart starts hammering against your chest which was crazy work because he’s literally just a fucking boy.

you’ve dealt with way more countless stressful interviews and presentations during university for your program but somehow walking up to meet someone you’ve technically known about for years felt oddly more worse.

he’s already standing outside, a hat sitting backwards on his head. his blonde hair which peaked out from underneath looked longer than the last time you saw it in a picture grace sent a couple of months ago. his hands shoved in the pocket of his sweatpants.

everyone’s quick to climb out of the car and walk over to will, sharing hugs as you quietly trudge behind watching from a distance. you watch colleen place a kiss against his cheek to which he grins mumbling a quick ‘mom’ as he makes eye contact with you, cheeks turning a light shade of pink realizing you probably caught the interaction.

“hi, y/n right?”

“yeah.”

he smiles, nodding his head. “i’m will.”

you let out a small laugh, “i know.”

the second the words leave your mouth, your eyes widen. that probably sounded so bitchy.

“i mean— not like that. like, i know that you’re will because yeah.”

oh my god.

stop fucking talking.

you’re so fucking embarrassing.

will laughs watching you with an amused expression, “yeah, i know what you meant.”

your face felt like its on fire, not even five minutes into meeting the guy and you already can’t speak and possibly sounded like a bitch.

nice going y/n.

“thanks for letting me stay, i really appreciate it.”

“yeah, of course.”

“and i’m sorry.”

you watch as wills eyebrows scrunch up in confusion, “for what?”

“for invading your space.”

realization scatters on his face as he smiles, shaking his head.

“you know, grace warned me about this. but hey— i mean it. you’re not bothering me.”

once you hear it from him, you feel the tension ease down a bit. before you can say anything else, will reaches down and grabs your suitcase.

“i’ll show you to your room.”

you nod as you trail behind him. he leads you to a room down at the end of the hallway. the room was perfect, minimalistic but still comforting in a way which felt like home.

“hope this is okay.”

you smile, “more than okay. thank you, again will.”

he gives you a soft smile, leaning against the side of the door arms crossed and for a split second you felt your face heat up at the way he was looking at you but you brush it off blaming the nerves.

“of course, i’ll let you settle in.”

and with that he slightly shuts the door behind him before heading back to the rest of the family.

-

you’ve barely unpacked your suitcase when grace knocks on the door, not waiting for a response before bursting in and launching herself on the bed next to you.

“soooo.”

you look up at her, confused but knowing her tone it was going to probably be some stupid teasing comment.

“so what?”

“thoughts?”

“thoughts on what?”

“my brother, duh.” she says like it’s the most obvious question.

you squint your eyes at her, trying to figure out what she’s implying at. sometimes the words that leave her mouth have different kinds of interpretation if you don’t know her well enough.

“what about him?”

“i told you he’d be nice, you were out there stirring up a whole storm for no reason.”

you grab the nearest pillow and chuck it at her, shaking your head biting back a smile.

“leave me alone.”

grace squeals, reaching up to pat down her hair before focussing her attention towards your suitcase. “any goods in there?”

you raise your eyebrow in confusion, “goods?”

she sighs, “you’re really slow today aren’t you?”

you gasp, swatting her shoulder as she giggles reaching in your suitcase at your folded clothes. “anyways— i was talking about some sexy tops. you’re in san jose for crying out loud. did you really think all you’re going to do for a week is focus on this interview for all seven days?”

you shrug as she reaches in pulling out a low cut burgundy top, smirking slightly before winking at you. “now that’s what i’m talking about. if you got em, flaunt them.”

you laugh, rolling your eyes at your friend before pulling the rest of the stuff from your suitcase as grace begins to help you. it was moments like this that brought even the slightest amount of relaxation to this the entire trip.

the bickering, the jokes back and forth, just being face to face with your best friend rather than seeing her from a phone screen. it made everything seem like it would be okay— even if it was for those few minutes you spent missing the moment while it was happening right in front of you.

“mom and dad want everyone ready by six, by the way.”

you hum, tilting your head in confusion. “for?”

“family dinner.”

family.

before you could overthink anything, grace catches the look on your face giving you the same stern glance that colleen gave you earlier back at the airport.

“you’ve always been family, y/n. don’t forget that now.”

grace and colleen always had a way with their words, making it always seem so convincing that it hits you right at the heart strings. makes you forget why you were even overthinking it in the first place.

“now get dressed, take a shower because yikes— you really need it.”

your jaw drops open in shock. “grace, get out.”

she laughs loudly, snickering as she shoots up from the bed and makes a beeline towards the door before you had the chance to chuck the pillow in her direction again.

-

by the time you were showered and changed and at the restaurant you were drained and starving.

you sat between grace and colleen, directly across from will which you were very hyper aware about in the moment but then he seemed to be surprising you more and more as the dinner went on.

you expected him to be on his phone for most of the dinner, aimlessly scrolling through hockey reels or texting his friends but instead his phone stayed locked beside him as he engaged with everyone at the table.

any time that anyone spoke at the table, his gaze would immediately follow and his entire attention would shift towards them. he asked questions and remembered the little details and followed up on stories.

you weren’t exactly sure why that surprised you. maybe it was because you spent years seeing him as this supposed basic hockey player in your head. an athlete everyone was proud of and him knowing that and being completely cocky about it and never thought about anything else besides that, but you were so wrong.

he genuinely cared and that stood out to you more than anything else.

you listen to all the different conversations happening around you, your gaze subconsciously drifting towards will without you realizing a couple of times.

“what about you, y/n?”

your head snaps up at that because you knew exactly where this conversation was about to go.

oh no.

“the scholarship interview.”

you force a smile, “what about it?”

bill grins at you from the across the table. “are you excited about it?”

your stomach twists, it was as if all the nerves you tried to leave behind back at home all followed you right away and wrapped themselves tightly around you.

“yeah, there’s not much to talk about though.”

you reach for the ring on your finger, twisting it around nervously.

“that’s not true.”

“it kinda is.”

“cmon now kiddo,”

you let out a soft nervous chuckle, shaking your head. “it’s just a meeting.”

grace snorts beside you, “y/n, you’ve been stressing about this for months.”

“thank you for exposing me.”

“you’re very welcome.”

you force another laugh, hoping nobody is nothing the knot that is forming in your stomach. the twisting of the ring on your finger gets faster.

“you’ll do amazing honey.” colleen coos from beside you, squeezing your leg as reassurance.

that’s what people expected. people expected you to do amazing.

you fingers kept twisting the ring in circles, you probably lost count of how many times it’s probably made laps around your finger.

that’s when you felt it, someone looking at you.

you lift your head up, your eyes locking with wills from across the table. his gaze drops briefly towards your hands then back up. he doesn’t say anything, doesn’t call attention to it.

instead, will gives you a small nod. almost like his way of saying ‘hey, it’s okay just breathe’ and something about that made you stop, your fingers stilled and his expression softens before he smiles at you.

-

the traffic on the way back home was bad. grace climbed into the back seat first and you followed behind and then will which left you sandwiched in between both siblings.

you buckled yourself in, trying not to take up extra space and feel awkward as you feel wills thigh press slightly up against yours.

grace talked enough for the the three of you to which you contributed occasionally. you mostly just stared out the window, admiring the view until exhaustion finally caught up to you.

your eyes felt heavy, you barely slept the flight and the night before due to all of the stress and anxiety. you blink trying to keep yourself awake for the rest of the ride home but sooner than you know it, the blinks get slower and then you fall asleep.

“right y/n?”

graces questions fall through and she frowns when she doesn’t hear you answer and turns her head, grinning hard as her hand comes up to mouth.

“oh my god, mom.”

colleen turns around and lets out a giggle at the sight. somehow, at some point during the drive your head had fallen directly on wills shoulder.

will glances down then looks back up at grace.

“don’t.”

“but will—“

“grace.”

she clamps her mouth shut, rolling her eyes.

“she’s exhausted.”

“i know.”

“then leave her alone.”

grace looks at her brother offended, “can’t believe you thought i’d wake her up.”

will rolls his eyes at his older sister, looking down at you once more before leaning his head against the car window.

the next thing you know was someone gently shaking your shoulders to wake you. your eyes blink open, still confused and filled with sleep. for a moment, you forgot where you were and then it all hits you.

your head wasn’t resting against the seat, it was against a shoulder and not even graces— it was wills.

you shot upright so fast, you almost smack your head against the roof. your hand flies to your mouth as you look at will in shock and embarrassment. “oh my god— shit i’m so sorry i’m so sorry.”

will looks at you, smile resting on his face completely unbothered by the situation.

“it’s okay.”

you stare at him in disbelief, “i— what? this is so embarrassing.” you mumble, mortified.

colleen turns around, letting out a giggle before looking at the both of you. “i mean— at least we know that will does make a great pillow.”

grace snickers beside you, and you feel your cheeks heat up as you turn your head to face will who just laughs, his bunny teeth fully showing.

you were never living this down.

the car comes to a stop and you’re practically shoving at graces back wanting nothing more but out of that vehicle.

“quit shoving.” she huffs as she straightens her jacket. you roll your eyes, climbing out behind her almost tripping over your own feet but balancing yourself before you fell face first on the concrete.

“careful, will isn’t beside you to hoist you up.” she teases before running up to catch up with colleen who was already almost to the doors. your jaw drops as you curse her in your mind.

oh she’s definitely using this to her advantage.

-

you stand in bathroom beside grace taking off your makeup. you’re both changed up and getting ready for bed. for a while, neither of you said anything which should have been your first warning sign because grace was never quiet.

you look up and catch her eye in the mirror, she was staring with a smile resting on her face.

“what?”

“nothing.”

“why are you looking at me like that?”

she grins slowly, still wiping away at the makeup on her face. “you looked pretty comfortable.”

you fucking knew it.

“dude— don’t start.”

“for someone who was stressing of staying at my brothers place—“

“grace.”

“you sure seemed comfortable using him as a pillow.”

you almost drop the face wash that you were holding in your hand, giving her a dirty look trying not to laugh at the way she was looking at you.

“shut up oh my god.”

“just a friendly observation.”

“zip it.”

grace giggles, as she returns her focus back on removing her makeup. you stare at her for a second longer before squeezing some of your face wash in your hand and emulsifying it before applying it to your face.

your eyes catch graces again who seemed way too pleased with herself.

“this week is going to be fun.”

and for some reason— that comment made your stomach flip for reasons that had absolutely nothing to do with the scholarship anymore.

-

when you stepped in, you were welcomed by many familiar faces: the girl that was somehow always sitting at the table next to yours in the library, one of your course mates you tutored and, obviously, multiple friends, most of which were engaged in a beer pong match.

a couple of greetings later, you grabbed a cheap canned beer from the kitchen counter and cracked it open as you made your way through the living area, looking for a place to sit. it turned out to be one of the plastic chairs scattered around the room.

you leaned back in the chair, cramped and flushed, but still feeling the best you had all day. your eyelids closed slowly, you let yourself bask in the warm feeling of being surrounded by people and the loud music, slightly muffled by all the talking. it was chaotic, but it was familiar.

“smitty! c’mere, dude.” you heard a voice yell out from a distance, shortly followed by a deep sigh from your right side. your peace was officially interrupted.

you turned in your seat, unable to mind your own business, and you saw him. he was so charming, blond curls framing his face perfectly, slightly outgrown without looking unintentionally messy. yet, there was something about his expression that seemed stressed, almost uneasy.

you could’ve just dropped it. you should’ve, probably, but after a day spent with your head inside five different textbooks, you were craving some fun, an interaction, anything.

you caught the guy’s gaze with yours and nodded towards the hallway. “seems like someone’s looking for you.”

he looked almost surprised by you, and the fact that you were talking to him. he gave you a half-hearted scoff, “nah, he’ll be fine.”

it was unexpected to see him still looking directly at you, his whole body turning the slightest bit towards you, that would’ve been hardly noticeable to anyone else in the room. you sure did notice, though. you wanted to keep talking to him, you thought about coming up with an excuse, or trying to stay on topic and talk about his friend, but you gave up.

“what’s your name?” you asked, resting your elbow on the arm of the chair and your chin against your open palm, eyes analyzing his features.

he was cute, and had that boyish look that made you go crazy. his hair was that shade of blonde that you’d only ever seen on children, who’d eventually grown out of it. his eyes were sapphire blue and expressive, so round and big they felt like they could swallow you whole.

“will.” he introduced himself, one corner of his lips softly pulling up.

you could’ve stopped at your name, see what he would say next, but you didn’t. you did tell him your name, but also let your curiosity seep out. “what about ‘smitty’?” you questioned, again.

“that’s my last name.” he replied, with shrugging shoulders.

your eyebrows furrowed in honest confusion. “your last name’s smitty?”

he did his best to bite back a laugh, “no, it’s smith.”

at that point, you genuinely started to believe he was making fun of you. “…your name is will smith?” you posed the question, to which he answered with a nod and another suppressed giggle. “i don’t believe you one bit.” you spat out flatly.

he shot one single amused look at you as his hand slipped in the front pocket of his hoodie, fumbling while he looked around it for something. he extracted what he was looking for and held it out for you. there it was, the school id card, with his picture and his legal name.

your eyes somehow widened even more, and you bursted into a laughter. “oh my god, that’s ridiculous.”

he shook his head like you had just slapped him in the face, snatching the id from you hands. “wh- hey! that’s mean.”

you just played along and winked at him, still chuckling.

“you’ll survive, will smith.”

the rest of the night passed by easily: you two sat there and talked each other’s ears off. you covered so many different topics: you learnt several stories about his hockey tournaments, his family and teammates, what adapting to the college lifestyle had been like.

he told you he didn’t like parties, that he always thought something might’ve gone wrong there, that’s why he didn’t look like he was in his element at all. he was far more well-spoken and articulated than the average frat boys and college athletes you had encountered before — not that it took much.

it was endearing, to say the least; you could’ve listened to him for hours.

unfortunately, life had other plans for you: your friend dragged you out, almost forcefully, drunk and in need of someone trusted to help her get home. you barely had time to say goodbye to will, but you swore it wouldn’t be the last time you two saw each other.

you ended up laying in bed at three in the morning, wide awake, with a snoring girl beside you and a random boy you’d never seen before infesting your thoughts. sheets up to your chin, you decided to let it go and sleep it away, thinking it would be easy to forget those big blue eyes and that warm, syrupy smile.

everything kept going at its normal pace: you kept studying, tutoring your friends, hanging out when you were in the right mood. you just so happened to be in the mood almost everyday, and your eyes happened to scan around each room you entered, looking for someone.

neither you nor will had really made a step towards the other. you didn’t talk, text, you weren’t in contact by any means. you still searched for him everywhere, hoping he would just materialize in front of your eyes at the cafeteria or during one of your classes. classes that he wasn’t even supposed to attend to begin with.

you had never believed in old tales, especially never believed in the rhetoric that things happened when you least expected. that must’ve been why, when you decided to stretch your legs and go for a walk around the reservoir in the middle of campus, you sat down on a bench not expecting anything. not expecting him.

twenty minutes passed with you sitting cross-legged with a notebook in your hands, only ever bothered by the sound of crickets chirping in the distance or the evening joggers pacing around the area. the wind blew through your hair, getting you out of your head and preventing you from crashing out over your coursework.

a few people trotted along the trail in front of you. you didn’t bother raising your head from the papers in front of you, until you heard the sound of debris cracking under someone’s steps. they were decisive, and getting closer to you.

“you guys go on, i’ll be right back.”

you’d recognize that voice just about anywhere.

your eyes glanced up in his direction, settling on his frame right away. it felt like a weight lifted off your stomach, like you hadn’t gone completely crazy and imagined him, imagined the way you’d interacted, at that party. he was really there.

will was there, in front of you. he was with his friends, but had deliberately gone out of his way to approach you. you were even more convinced of him being different from the other college athletes you’d met before.

“well, hello, will smith.” you chirped, closing the notebook that was resting over your thighs.

his head shook giddily, he took a seat on the bench, next to you. suddenly, you became hyperaware of his closeness, the way you inhaled his scent everytime you took a breath, the fabric of the sweatshirt draped over his shoulders that touched your arm.

“are you seriously going to call me my full government name everytime we meet?” he sighed, face showing no sign of annoyance whatsoever.

“you’re lucky i can’t remember your middle name.”

his hand raised to cover his mouth, muffling a laugh. “what if i told you i have two?”

“no fucking way! you have to tell me, now.” you exclaimed, only to be welcomed by his shaking head. “that’s, like, a moral obligation. you can’t deny me of that!”

truthfully, having an extra reason to make fun of him might’ve been the highlight of the night. you tried to extort the information from him for a good ten minutes, going as far as to bribe him with the stale, half melted snickers bar in your bag. all that effort, to receive nothing but laughter in return.

a tall, dark haired boy, who you could swear you’d seen before, came up to you. he introduced himself as ryan, then told the blond sitting next to you that they needed to go, otherwise they would be late. you didn’t question it further, you didn’t think you were at that stage yet.

“i’ll see you around, yeah?” will said, turning his attention back to you. you nodded, giving both him and ryan a small smile, before they left you alone again with your books.

it had been merely a week since that evening, the wind was howling around campus as you made your way through the cobbled alleyways. another party. this time, you didn’t feel the need to take your mind off of anything. on the contrary, you hoped to come across the subject of all of your thoughts.

walking through the door of the nearby bustling bar, you were greeted by a couple of friends who were, for some reason, grouped up right by the entrance.

grouped with them was ryan, will’s friend you’d met at the lake, who seemed to be very close with one of your friends. of course he seemed familiar, you’d been forced to see pictures of him for months on end, accompanied by her screaming about how 'dreamy and sweet' he was.

the second his gaze settled on you, he treated you like you were a lifelong buddy of his: he wrapped an arm around your shoulders, pulling you into a bone-crushing hug before any of your much closer friends had a chance to.

“your boy’s over there!” he shouted after the round of greetings, pointing in the distance towards a small group, four or five boys, standing close to the counter.

your eyes fell onto that cascade of blonde locks that could belong to one person only. he must had gotten a haircut sometime between your meetings, hair now shorter on the back and the sides, but you could still see the strands effortlessly resting over his forehead as he turned around, taking a sip from his redbull can and talking to someone.

debating whether to walk over immediately or wait a second, settling in first, you stood there in silence for a while. will looked around absentmindedly, for some reason not expecting to spot your frame among the crowd in the slightest. his eyes met your own as he waved at you, hand gesturing for you to come closer.

you walked the few feet that were between you, approaching him with a tight-lipped smile and sweaty hands. he definitely didn’t need to know about the last part.

he took quick notice of you being empty handed. “let me get you a drink!” he exclaimed.

you tried to stop him, but all your complaints got ignored — he was already talking to the man behind the counter, asking for something you couldn't hear.

the speakers hanging from the wall were blasting the typical college bar music, those same overplayed rap songs that nobody really listened to in other contexts. you couldn’t say you enjoyed being there, but you forgot all about it when will turned around. he was holding a new can of redbull in one hand and a cup filled with what seemed like cola, mixed with god knows what, in the other.

“jack and coke,” he informed you, as if reading your mind. “hope it’s alright.”

“it’s more than okay, you didn’t have to.” you replied, apologetically, taking the cup from his hand. “thank you.”

he shrugged, not very smooth at hiding the blush spreading across his face. you couldn’t help the smug smile that appeared on your lips.

the two of you fell into conversation with the usual ease that characterized each of your meetings: you updated him on your exams - shocked that he remembered (and asked) about your modern history one -, he shared some highlights from the latest hockey games he and the team had played, then told you you needed to go watch him play, someday.

he took the opportunity to introduce you to some of his teammates, the boys he’d been talking to before you’d walked in.

he was approximate in the introductions with everyone besides gabe, his 'best friend and favourite roommate', or so the brown-haired boy had told you, despite will’s head vigorously shaking from behind him. gabe tried to tell you about something that had happened during class, but both of them kept cutting the story off with uncontrollable giggles.

you were genuinely confused, just trying to piece the anecdote together, when it clicked.

“are you high?”

gabe’s eyebrows shot up, his head turned in will’s direction as his head shook alarmedly, thinking you wouldn’t notice. “uh… no?” he blurted out, unsurely.

trying to keep up the nonchalant act was useless, especially when the two guys in front of you kept cackling like little kids. you ended up laughing with them, at their ridiculous behaviour and their vain attempt to return to the story they’d been trying to tell you.

“holy shit, you guys are crazy.” you chuckled, before another realization hit you. “isn’t that your second can?” you questioned, pointing at will’s hand.

“third, actually.” he said, like it was the most normal thing in the world. your hand reached out and grabbed the energy drink, snatching it from his hold despite his protests.

your third companion got stolen from you and will halfway through the night, leaving the two of you alone and sat in a booth, snacking on peanuts and sharing your drink as you chatted just about anything.

by one in the morning, most of the people had gone home, leaving you and a couple more night owls in the bar. will had left you for a couple of minutes, headed for the bathroom. he walked back and frantically searched in his pockets first, then on the table, on the floor, around the counter. whatever he was looking for, he surely didn’t look close to finding it.

“holy fucking shit!” he screeched, running his fingers through his own hair.

“what’s wrong?”

he looked your way, eyes red and wide. “i think i lost my id, fuck!” he thundered, taking his seat in front of you once again.

“maybe you just forgot it in your room. have you tried calling gabe?” you suggested.

his eyes lit up, like you had just discovered some ancient ruins out in the wild. you could barely suppress a laughter. phone in his hands, he fumbled through the contacts before he found his roommate’s, then pressed the ‘call’ button.

one, two, three rings, nothing. will let the phone ring some more, still nothing. he heard something from the other side and nearly jumped from the excitement, only to be greeted by the robotic sound of the voicemail. he threw his phone on the table, somehow managing not to crack the glass, and let his head hang low, supported only by his hands.

shaking your head, you picked it up as you tried your best to come up with a solution. he couldn't get into his flat without the id, and he would have had to wait until morning, at least, to contact the department and have them give him a new one.

you extended your hand, holding his phone for him to take. “hey, it’s fine. you can stay in my room and wait for him to pick up the phone.”

he took his head out of his hands, looking up at you. “are you sure you don’t mind? i don’t want to-“

you interrupted him. “will, it’s fine, just come with me.”

he stopped arguing, knowing it would be useless to keep going. he took a deep breath and gave you a firm nod, and you two started making your way through the small crowd and out the door. it took about ten minutes to reach your building, but it was oddly pleasant. the campus was quiet, dark, the soft breeze still carried that summery feeling.

will talked, he nearly talked too much, sometimes stumbling upon his own words. the stairs were the hardest part: he kept walking like he had two left feet, his weight solely sustained by the railings, and you kept having to shush his loud giggles, that risked you getting kicked out of your own dorm room.

“you’re so loud.” you whispered as you unlocked your room’s door, after telling him to quiet down for what seemed like the thousandth time.

one of his eyebrows shoot up, like what you’d just said was a personal affront to him. “is that supposed to be a drag?”

the door swung open and you rolled your eyes as you stepped inside, holding it open for him to mirror your actions.

“it’s supposed to be an observation, will.” you remarked, and he simply laughed.

the two of you sat together on your bed, backs against the wall, as you scrolled through your phone and he looked over from your shoulder, with curious eyes. that night, you learned will went out like a light when he was tired: one second he was laughing at a silly video showing up, the next one all you heard were soft snores and the static sound of his breathing.

when his phone lit up with an incoming call from gabe, you almost debated not waking him up and letting him stay in your room, but you went against it. your heart almost broke when you shook him awake, eyes like a deer’s in headlights as he tried to blink the sleep away. he agreed to meet gabe downstairs and walk back to their flat together.

once the call ended, his arms were quick to wrap around you, while you two were still sat on the mattress. he held you tight, like he was scared you could slip away from him, and whispered a quiet ‘thank you’ to your ear, before getting up and leaving.

alone with yourself, the loud thumping of your heart became almost unbearable, and you knew you needed to sleep it off.

when you woke up the following morning, all wrapped in the blankets, you noticed a navy blue piece of fabric mixed in as well. a few blinks and you finally realized it was will’s sweatshirt, the one he’d rid himself of and discarded like he was in his own room.

in hindsight, you knew it was the perfect opportunity to see him again, and you should’ve been happy about it. but something about having to go to the rink to see will hit you with the reality you had tried to put off for the past weeks: he was a college athlete. it’s not like you didn’t know, because you did, you’d known since your very first meeting, at that party.

it was more like you brain had tried to shut that information out, mostly because he didn’t feel like one: he didn’t feel like the football player that had ghosted you after sending you nonstop texts, like the lacrosse player who had cheated on your friend with half of his english class, like any other guy that had made you stray away from the athlete-type.

perhaps you were being ridiculous, borderline delusional, but you truly believed he was different. so, that afternoon, you took your time getting ready. you wanted to look nice, wear something cool, but that was casual enough that it didn’t scream ‘i tried too hard’ — or worse, ‘i have a huge crush on you’. you didn’t. you definitely didn’t have a crush on will. you were going there out of pure love for the game.

it seemed foolish enough on its own, you didn’t need to label it as something so serious, at least not in your head.

after asking your friend, the one that had the hots for ryan, to tag along for the game, the two of you walked your way to the forum, surrounded by dark, tall trees and beams of sunlight. once you reached the entrance, standing on the few steps that led to the main door, you caught a glimpse of him. he was wearing a full black suit and his hair was gelled back.

you’d told yourself you were going out of your way to show up to a hockey game just to tell him about that damn sweater, but truly, it was because you couldn’t get him out of your head. you hated yourself for drooling over him more than you hated him for being so ridiculously beautiful.

he walked in without even noticing you were there, too busy chatting with his friends. you sighed in the most self-deprecating manner you could, before hooking your arm through your friend’s and walking inside.

the entirety of the game was spent staring at him whenever he was on the ice and desperately looking for him whenever he was on the bench, eyes darting left and right in search of that six on his back. you couldn’t help it, it was surely his fault for looking so good in red and having his eyes pop so much in the color.

the game ended with a home win for the team. ryan texted the girl sitting next to you, asking if the two of you wanted to go celebrate with them — the celebration being one or two drinks in the same bar as last time, since most of them had classes in the morning.

you waited outside of the facility, sitting on the steps with your friend, until you heard the faint - yet deeply distinguishable - sound of will’s laughter. he walked right by you, but you needed to get his attention.

“hey, will smith,” you joked, snorting when he turned around and jokingly rolled his eyes at the sound of his own name, “you forgot your sweater in my room.”

his mouth opened, eyebrows raising. “oh.” he mumbled, excusing himself to his friends as he walked the short distance between you. “uhm… i’ll just- i can come pick it up?” he stuttered slightly, like he couldn’t find the right words.

you chuckled at his poor attempts at forming a coherent sentence, then shrugged. “sure, whenever you want. i’ll be locked in, studying.”

the discourse died as quickly as it had started. he apologized for not greeting you properly and pulled you into a hug. he smelled fresh, with a hint of vanilla, and his arms around you caged you in a way that you knew would make you crave more.

you walked together to the bar, a couple of feet behind the others. it was a rather mundane evening, but you stood by each other’s side the entire time, and you got an extra chance to bond more with his friends, especially his roommates.

he ended up leaving earlier, the weariness from the game catching up to him. he told you he’d pick up the disregarded sweater some time later.

he was knocking on your door the following day, clock hands reading 9pm. you felt bad about giving him the sweater and letting him walk away like that, so you invited him to stay a little longer, watch a movie or something. you even let him pick the movie, surprised when he ended up choosing a cheesy romcom you would have never pictured him watching.

he was close, the side of your body was basically glued to his own, he had to lay his arm on the bed’s headboard, right behind your head, to make some space. the room on your twin bed was limited; you could smell his body wash with every breath you took, and you could feel his ribcage expanding with every breath he took.

sometime between scenes, your eyes swiftly moved from the screen to his own, only to find him already looking at you. he didn’t try to be sneaky about it, didn’t look away, he just held your gaze, with an unspoken intensity that was making the air grow thick.

“your eyes are so… blue.” you blurted out, before you could stop your mouth.

he scoffed, shaking his head lightly. “yeah, that i knew.”

“oh, fuck you.” you mumbled, before your arms locked around his neck and you pulled him into a kiss, lips slotting perfectly against each other’s.

a sigh slipped out of him, followed by a barely audible moan. some might consider it fucked up, but perhaps you got off on knowing that you had him wrapped around your finger. it was a fulfilling feeling that gave you that rush of adrenaline humans were addicted to, and got in trouble searching for.

and you were in trouble, because you were wrapped around his finger just as much. hell, you were all in it.

suddenly, you were hyper aware of your skin touching his, of the laptop being set on your nightstand, of his hands circling around your waist to pull you closer. his lips were soft, inviting, they made you want to give in. but you were still, teetering on the edge of a precipice that you’d caused yourself.

in the darkness and quietness of the room, only disturbed by the muffled sounds of your laboured breathing and the clicking of lips, you realized just how real it was. how real and scary and not concordant with what you'd decided for yourself it truly was.

were you ready to jump in?

you wished you could keep your spot on top of the cliff, with a single foot hanging from it. yet, you knew you couldn’t. you couldn’t keep him on the edge with you; he didn’t deserve to be swallowed by your paranoia and the habit you had of crossing bridges before you came to them.

you indulged in the moment a little longer, allowing yourself to feel the tenderness of his lips, the warmth of his breath crashing onto your face and the feeling of his hands roaming your body, before pulling away. you didn’t say a word, just placed the laptop back on your legs and started the movie from where you’d left off.

body smashed against the wall, you tried to keep your distance as much as you could. you thought about telling him something, that you shouldn’t have done that, that it was a mistake, but you couldn’t. it wasn’t the truth and you didn’t want him to feel like he’d done something wrong.

will didn’t comment your actions, just sat back in his spot as you finished your film. when he got up and told you he’d see you around, he expected something more than a smile and a wave, but that was all he got. the thought he might’ve messed something up crossed his mind briefly, but you definitely would’ve told him if anything had happened, right?

wrong.

the worst, most self-sabotaging part of you decided to avoid him at all costs. not only did you not reply to any of the texts he sent you, but you also made sure to avoid the spots you knew he’d be at, basically locking yourself in your room when you were not attending class. it lasted for about a week.

on a regular thursday, on your way back from the grocery store, you got off the bus and saw the oddly familiar figure. he was wearing a school-branded hoodie you’d seen him in a couple of times before, and was walking on the sidewalk with a few more people.

as sneakily as you could, you crossed the road and walked down the sidewalk on the opposite side of the road, making turns you weren’t used to and ending up taking the long way to your building, all to avoid confrontation.

it was for the better, you thought. you were doing him a favour: he didn’t need to be worrying about you and the stupid way your brain was wired — and you didn’t want him to be just another one of the many, more data to add to your hypothesis.

what you didn’t know was that your 'favour' was painfully, agonizingly slowly, killing will. he stayed up at night, replaying every moment you two had shared and overanalyzing it, trying to find the moment where it all went wrong.

he didn’t harass your phone with texts, he wasn’t that type of guy, but the radio silence from your side was destroying him. it didn’t help that you seemed to have completely disappeared from the surface of the earth.

when he saw you with the corner of his eye, on that thursday afternoon, he thought he’d seen a ghost. he was about to run to you, already wondering what you might tell him. he turned around, and you were walking the opposite way, already too far to even hear him call out your name.

he went back to the shared flat, face mournful and unable to hide it from his best friends, who called an immediate emergency meeting in the middle of the kitchen, between piles of dirty plates and takeout boxes.

he slouched back in his chair, hands running through his hair like he wanted to rip it all out. “i don’t know what the fuck i did wrong, guys, i’m serious.”

ryan and gabe stood in silence for a moment, looking at him, then at each other.

“talk to her, then.” ryan said, matter-of-factly, receiving a smack on the back of his head from the youngest of the three.

will groaned, head now falling onto the table. “how? she’s never around. the only time i see her, she changes direction to avoid me.” he nearly whined. he felt pathetic, but he was truly desperate.

gabe’s mouth opened, like he wanted to say something, before closing again. “wait outside her room?” he mumbled, but it ended up sounding more like a question.

“…that’s so creepy!”

“yeah, fine,” he admitted, raising his hands. “how about outside of class? you know where she studies, right?”

the following morning, will asked - or, well, forced - ryan to have your best friend send him the specific timing of your classes for the day. he wasn’t going to give you up, not without a reason.

he showed up outside of your classroom ten minutes before the end of the lecture, bolts of adrenaline running through his body at the mere idea of seeing you and finally speaking to you after what seemed like an eternity — in reality, it had only been a few days.

you, on the other hand, shoved your things into your bag and made your way out of the door and into the hallway, expecting anything but to see will standing right next to the doorway, arms crossed to his chest and foot tapping continuously against the floor.

his eyes raised to look at you the second you stepped out, and you knew there was no sneaking away left to do.

fuck.

will didn’t look mad, rather sad. it shattered you, but you couldn’t give in. you couldn’t afford to be disappointed by him, not after you’d idealized him so much in your head, pictured him as the perfect guy and everything. you wanted to relive the memories you’d made together for the rest of your life while being locked inside a stone fortress, where nothing and nobody could ever hurt you.

but he’d gotten in the way of that process, and was standing in front of you, gaze heavy with unanswered questions and doubts.

“why are you running from me?” he spat out, after a minute of just looking into each other’s eyes and waiting for the other to cede.

you shrugged, like you had nothing to do with the discourse. “what are you talking about?”

he knitted his brows, a quiet scoff slipping past his lips. “you keep running away everytime i try to talk to you. you literally crossed the road yesterday just to avoid me.”

“excuse me?” you nearly gasped, startled that he’d even noticed it. “what’s your problem, will?”

“no, what the fuck is your problem?” he asked, voice slightly louder as the rasp in it got more prominent. it all just made him seem ten times more attractive, and you hated it.

you sighed, running a hand down your face, probably smudging your mascara in the process. that was a hell of a question, and you truly wished you had an answer for him. you didn’t even have one for yourself.

“just leave it, alright? forget it.”

his head shook violently. “i can’t, i keep thinking about it… what happened in your room. did i do something wrong?” he asked, “we can just pretend it nev-“

you interrupted him, simply because you were sure you would’ve started crying if you didn’t. “no, it’s not you. leave it, will, i’m serious.” you practically begged, holding yourself in one piece with all the mental strength you had.

he was getting frustrated, and you couldn’t blame him. his arms fell to his sides, as one of his hands hurriedly ran through his hair the same way it always did.

“what have i even done to you?”

“nothing, just drop it.” you repeated, shaking your head once more. you turned on your heels and started walking towards the hallway, unable to keep up with the façade you’d given yourself.

“please, just tell me.” he lunged forward and stopped you in your tracks, holding your wrist in his hand. “please.” he whispered, reaching for your other wrist with his free hand.

he was suddenly close, very close. the musky scent of his cologne was punching its way up your nostrils.

“you’re insufferable, you know that?” you whispered, not fully sure he even heard that.

your hands flew to his face, resting against his cheeks as you took that extra step forward, closing the distance between you two. your lips smashed against his hungrily, like you needed that contact to survive. you were sure you did.

will nearly tumbled backwards, holding himself up with an arm against the wall behind him. it took him a second to realize what was actually happening: it wasn’t a dream, you were indeed kissing him, your tongue was actually tracing the outline of his bottom lip, your fingers were really tangled in his hair.

the two of you only pulled away because you realized that, despite the lack of sounds and people around you, you were still standing in the middle of a school building, panting like dogs and flushed in the face.

will was a sight, with tousled hair and those wet eyes of his, chest rising and falling quickly with his breathing.

“i’m sorry, i’m an idiot.” you murmured, to yourself more than him.

why would you willingly prevent yourself from experiencing a relationship? because the first one hadn’t gone as planned, because you were surrounded by failing couples and were terrified of ending up in the same situation?

it was ridiculous, and you were realizing it as your eyes stared into will’s, desiring nothing more than to be snuggled up to him in your room, talking about everything and nothing at the same time.

with a heart beating so fast that you thought it might burst out of your chest, you apologized. you apologized to the boy in front of him for acting like a total jerk, you told him it wasn’t his fault, that it was a mental thing of yours. he listened, not saying a single word, before wrapping his arm around your shoulders and walking you towards the door — and then outside.

while the two of you wandered around, with nowhere specific to be, you continued your rambling in detail. you told him why you’d acted that way, what scared you the most about your own feelings for him, that you had to live with unhealthy coping mechanisms.

he understood, of course he did. he didn’t question it any further, just reassured you enough for you to melt into his arms as you pulled him into a hug. he smiled to himself, hands caressing up and down your back with a care that was astonishing.

your lashes fluttered against his shoulder, arms wrapping tighter around his middle. you weren’t letting him go, not again.