You know, the counter to criticism of John has always been "John did the best he could under those circumstances" but that argument REALLY falls apart hard when the show gives us multiple examples of other hunters who had kids and provided them with stable homes or at the very least, didn't abuse, neglect, and exploit their children to the degree John did.
Bill and Ellen Harvelle. Krissy's dad. Tasha Banes. Hell, Mary's parents, even.
Hunters are all traumatized people who've lost someone, and yet not all hunters with children left them alone in hotel rooms for days or weeks at a time without enough money or food, used them as bait for a shtriga or god knows what else (I haven't forgotten or forgiven Dead Man's Blood), put them in danger constantly, isolated them even from other hunters, or emotionally abused them to have no self worth and view "I'm proud of you" as a dangerously out of character statement from their parent.
Jo grew up safe at home with her mom, viewing her dad coming home as an occasion for joy. After her dad died, her mother tried EVERYTHING to keep Jo from hunting to keep her safe, and finally only started hunting again herself to protect Jo. Dean reminisces about "when dad got home" with a haunted look in his eyes. Dean was hunting werewolves at sixteen. When Sam was afraid of the thing in his closet, John gave him a .45.
Krissy wanted to be by her dad's side all the time. Her dad even quit hunting, laid down whatever reasons made him start, to give her a shot at a better life. Dean gets quiet and changes the subject when asked if he misses his dad. Sam's fondest memories are of getting away from John. John drove his kids nearly to death with his obsession. Spent Sam's college fund on ammo.
Max and Alicia Banes were part of a community. Their understanding of hunters' funerals included friends and family gathered to celebrate the life of the departed. Sam and Dean knew very few hunters before John died. They only knew how to grieve in isolated silence around a solitary pyre.
Mary grew up in a house. She slept warm in a bed in a room of her own. She had family dinners. When she said the worst thing she could imagine was her kids being raised like she was, she meant hunting by itself. And I'm not saying hunting is good or healthy! It's not.
But it was the worst thing she could imagine. She couldn't even imagine the abuse, neglect, deprivation, instability, and hunger her children would one day endur on top of hunting.
But sure, yeah. John definitely did the best he could under the circumstances.
