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So..... guys.... about ateez's recent photoshoot.....
✨️What✨️in✨️the✨️effervescent✨️Fuck✨️✨️ 😀
Warning: a lot of swearing from this point on. I'm very clear about how much I hate this. Don't fuckin fight me on my opinions I can and will be a cunt about it, if you disagree just fuck off and make your own post to gush about these sad depressing little paper shredded cardboard flavoured sailor boy outfits. I do not care.
What were they thinking??? How the hell do you take men as gorgous as this and somehow turn them into sad looking victorian street urchins?? WHY THE FUCK DO THEY LOOK LIKE PROMOTIONAL POSTERS FOR A SERIES OF UNFORTUNATE EVENTS??????
I'm so fuckin mad ya'll actually have no idea like
Okay I will admit, Captain doesn't look too bad here. I don't love it and I hate whatever the fuck is going on with his hollowed out cheekbones like why does it look like someone took a carving knife to his face oh my god BUT it doesn't make me wanna tear something apart just to feel blood on my hands so that's a pass at least.
This was the first one I saw after the weird ass ot8 one with the feet.
I had hope.
Until I fuckin didn’t.
what. the. FUCK. I GENUINELY HAVE NO WORDS FOR JUST HOW MUCH I FUCKIN HATE THIS STRINGY BITS OF UNCOOKED BACON ASS OUTFIT like-
Oh dear GOD why did they put him in this color of all colors???? Yeo always looks fuckin gorgous he's YEO but somehow this is just NOT working and I wanna cry goddammit what did they DO and the SHOES the fuckin SHOES it looks like a kindergartener's cardboard arts project threw up on a pair of clown shoes I HATE IT so much I can't even put it into words it's an insult to everything I stand for I wanna BURN THEM and the HAT why is it there it looks like a child's cowboy hat got shrunk in the wash why is it on his head there is NOTHING I like about this outfit it can burn in hell.
At the bare fuckin minimum hwa doesn't have the bitchass mike wheeler hair from that one golden hour promo pic but at least in that one the only problem was that he looked meh at best here I just don't know how the fuck to feel like yeah it's hwa and yeah his face looks nice and not like someone drained the blessed life out of it but at the same time it looks like he's wearing a bunch of undercooked pasta so idk. It makes me uncomfortable.
I'm going to cry. i'm going to FUCKING CRY WHAT IS THIS SAD ASS LITTLE SAILOR BOY LOOK????? WHY DOES HE LOOK LIKE A FIVE YEAR OLD WHO FELL IN A RIVER (not the clean pretty kind)??????? Good lord of everything sane and beautiful above this is Jeong Yunho for crying out loud it IS NOT difficult to ensure that he looks good how does one manage to make him look sad and pathetic and not even in a sexy way just in a "oh my god I got an ick so bad I wanna peel my skin away from my body" kinda way.
AND THIS IS AN ISSUE I HAVE WITH JONGHO AND SAN TOO THESE MEN HAVE THE MOST STUNNING BODY PROPORTIONS WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON WHY DO THEY LOOK LIKE THEY'RE JUST SHY OF THAT OOMPA LOOMPA FILTER ON TIKTOK SOMETHING'S OFF AND DON'T YOU DARE TELL ME IT ISN'T I'VE STARED AT THEM LONGER THAN I'VE EVER STARED AT MYSELF I KNOW WHAT I'M SEEING AND I DON'T LIKE IT
And this. Oh my god wooyoung. Bestie. What did they DO TO YOU 😭😭 WHY DOES MY BOY LOOK LIKE SOME PREPPY COLLEGE BOY WHO GOT WASHED UP ON A DESERT ISLAND WITH NOTHING BUT THE WASHING HE WAS CLEARLY PUTTING UP because WHAT'S WITH ALL THE CLOTHESPINS I genuinely do not understand what they were going for with that not even the little paper plans can save this I'm so upset.
I'm actually tearing up. Sannie, what did they DO TO YOU???? Why does he look like a toddler that wet the bed and fell into the laundry basket on his way to tell his mum?? Why does the THING on his head look like a pair of granny panties???? Why does whatever's in his hand look like mr bean's fuckin teddy got put through a lawn mower????? At least the Aniteez concept photos had the decency to be CUTE sailor boy what the fuck is THISSSSSSSSS 😭😭😭
*exhales slowly* take. the fucking. shoes. OFF.
This is Choi Jongho. C h o i J o n g h o. It's really not that hard to make sure that my man looks good. How the actual FUCK do you somehow manage to fuck that up into whatever the godforsaken wilting broccoli THIS is??? I've already spoken on how much I HATE the cardboard clown ass monk slipper shoes and how disproportionate the lighting or whatever makes him look and I really lack the energy to elaborate further because the next one is a doozy I saved the worst for last SONG MINGI
When I said sad victorian child THIS IS WHAT I MEANT?!??!?! HE LOOKS SO DEAD AND LIFELESS???? HE'S JUST FUCKIN STANDING THERE WITH...... what the fuck is that even??? Clothespin got stuck to the hat???? The granny panty ass hat??? I don't fuckin know but if these were promotional pics for a series of unfortunate events they were definitely shooting to cast this man as count olaf with that fried ass hair because OH MY GOD why does it look like they just plucked half of it tf out???? What did they DO???? Put him in the fuckin air fryer leeknow style???? Because actually do they hate him???? I'm so angry oh my god
Anyone who says they like this is delusional and a LIAR
I'm so mad I needed to make this post otherwise @beenbaanbuun and @everyonewooeverywhere would never hear the end of it actually you may still never I'm beyond pissed I'll probably start up again tomorrow
I love it. The cynicism breathes new life into me. What’s the best part?? It’s obviously written by someone who loves the guys, and wants the best for them.. you can tell. That this bitches good Judy’s are so done with her kpop bitchin she had to bring it to socials. Hahaha.. lolol..
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality
Anya is LIVE right now
FREE
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Btw much as I love to make fun of twitter and reddit's business decisions, I have 0% trust in tumblr's management to not go a similar route so this is your gentle reminder that you should regularly go to your blog settings to export your blog. That's a fancy way of saying you can download a backup of your blog so if everything goes down you'll still have a backup of your posts & convos.
It's gonna come as a surprise to most of you, but if you don't want to do that for whatever reason you're allowed to not reblog this post. I'm not holding a gun to your head here I'm just trying to spread the word for people who do want a backup of their stuff.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality
Anya is LIVE right now
FREE
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality
Anya is LIVE right now
FREE
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
alright i think this will be a tough one because d a m n but giRL your MIND is superior wow i love this whew i’m ;-;
…
Most
Mingi
San
Yunho
Seonghwa
Wooyoung
Hongjoong
Jongho
Yeosang
Least
…
sO let’s start with loud boy mingi i think he would love love love when you’re loud in bed. it would make him feel good about himself and make him know that he’s doing a hella good job and he would live for bringing all sorts of noises out of you
alrighty SAN what do we expect out of this man? idek about y’all but i think he would LOVE hearing you be loud as fuck while he’s drilling you that would be a dream for him to make you be as loud as possible
yunHOE over here okay he would love hearing your noises in bed, and he would wanna hear them as much as possible, he’d do anything to get you going and make you be loud and proud for him
okay ngl after the first three my mind was like ahHhhHHhHHH where do i put them who goes where what do i do but i settled on seonghwa for 4th because i think he would adore hearing you be loud for him, and i think it would kinda be like a competition sorta thing where he would wanna see how loud he can make you
wooyoung is a loud boi himself so i debated putting him a lot higher, but then i was like okay hm well maybe not as much as i don’t think he’s shy, i think he wouldn’t really care whether you’re super loud or not
hongjoong i think wouldn’t mind your volume, i think hearing you moan and whine and stuff would really turn him on, but again i think the volume of it wouldn’t matter. if it’s a matter of the frequency of your noises, then yea i think he’d be high up
jongho i think would see being loud as a breach of privacy, like the louder you are, the more likely it is to be caught, and he would hate that privacy being exposed and stuff, so i wouldn’t say he’s a huge fan of you being loud in bed
yeosang is another who i think wouldn’t like exposure during sex, and you being loud and noisy would increase chances of being caught. i think yeosang prefers a cat and mouse game type thing, where it’s a competition to see if you can keep the sounds back or not
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