bro you better shut the fuck up before i look at you one day and feel warm and realize i’ve fallen in love with you bro. im serious quit it dude

if i look back, i am lost
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@deedabird
bro you better shut the fuck up before i look at you one day and feel warm and realize i’ve fallen in love with you bro. im serious quit it dude

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male anger is so..... disgusting......
like stop throwing shit and slamming doors and just go to therapy..... it’s not cute to make women around you afraid bc you’re mad about something......

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this comment is about jake gyllenhaal im losing my mind

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*eats a berry* *eats a berry* *eats a berry* *eats a berry* *eats a berry*
WHY!!! AM !!! I !!! SO !!! SENSITIVE !!!
Found this at a thrift store and it made me sad
John Mulaney’s next bit: I was walking down the carpet at the Oscars and everyone started cheering, I thought I had finally made it. Then I looked around and there was Captian fucking America.
I literally heard that in his voice
Let me iiiiiin!

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“You shouldn’t point out things about people’s appearances if they can’t fix it in ten seconds.”
— Something my sister said once, that’s become an important thing to me (via legally-undead)