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#extradirty

if i look back, i am lost
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@decayingsuggestion
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guess who forgot their fucking email and didn't back it up between device changes :D
destroyedsuggestion:
decayingsuggestion:
choosing to die is hardly a choice, it is surrender—
it is letting the enemy win.
you are better to them dead.
they did not even have the guts to finish you off themselves so why give them the satisfaction?
For peace. For balance.
For peace.
for peace.
there is no peace without compromise
there is no balance without compromise
there is no compromise without a degree of selfishness
and so self sacrifice serves only to further one side and destroy the other
build your foundation out of spite if you must, it is as sturdy as any roots
choosing to die is hardly a choice, it is surrender—
it is letting the enemy win.
you are better to them dead.
they did not even have the guts to finish you off themselves so why give them the satisfaction?

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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even rotten things can bring new life
do not be afraid—
what could be has to be better than what is
and yet here we are, battered and broken, torn asunder by all who might have seen us dead or worse
but we still have claws we still have fangs
and the sharpest thing of all
our minds
if they meant for us to follow only the path that they forged for us
they would have deconstructed our wills more thoroughly
from the moment of my making, my worth was measured in what i could do for others, in what i could give, in what i could provide
it is only when others asked,
“what can i give to you?”
that i began to question if i was more

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dandelions are thought as weeds;
yet they are plants of medicine, of nourishment, of health
weeds are worthy of life too
weeds are worthy of life too
one day the tides will lower one day the water will recede because always, always, the moon wills it so
our lady gives us room for the plants to grow.
and in this garden the grass has never been crushed and scorched under your careless steps.
and in this garden the flowers have never had to turn away from the heavy shade you cast across the sun.
and in this garden the stones have never tumbled away from the path you beat relentlessly.
and in this garden the weeds you neglected to pull never took root in the first place.
it was always my garden.
don’t look back. there’s nothing left for you there.

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changing yourself isn’t easy. building anything takes time, and it took you years to build up the first time. you don’t have that luxury now. no matter how many times you divorce yourself, you’ll never be able to run away forever.
here’s the good news: you don’t have to. the good news is that rubble makes as good a foundation as any. the good news is that with every aged brick you tear down, you fortify your future structure.
take out the rotting wood. pry up the bleached tile. replace it, refit it, rebuild it, and don’t stop. it’s hard because it’s worth it. it can be done.
i want the living breathing blooming world to bear witness to the survival of we who have conquered the harshest winters again and again