Debabrata Bhaduri

There is a particular kind of pain that no one really prepares you for, the kind where life shows you the exit door, lets you touch the handle, even lets you imagine the air on the other side and then asks you to wait.

I have been standing in that space for what feels like years.

Delhi is not just a city to me. It is not just a relocation plan or a career move. It is a version of life I have built in my mind over countless nights, where I am finally moving, finally becoming, finally stepping into something that feels like mine. It is independence, ambition, identity - all wrapped into one place.

And yet, here I am. Still waiting.

People often think waiting is passive. That it’s just time passing quietly. But they don’t see what it does to you internally. Waiting is loud. It is restless. It is waking up every day knowing you are not where you are meant to be yet. It is watching the version of your life you want exist just out of reach - clear, visible, almost tangible - and still being unable to step into it.

There are moments when I question everything.

Should I just go anyway? Am I being held back unnecessarily? What if this ‘right time’ never really comes?

But then there’s the other voice, the one that understands consequences, timing, responsibility. The one that knows some doors cannot be forced open without breaking something important along the way.

So, I wait.

Not because I want to. But because I have to.

And that’s the hardest part - when waiting is not a choice, but a necessity.

There’s a strange loneliness in this phase. You carry a future inside you that no one else can fully see. To others, life probably looks normal. Stable. Even comfortable. But inside, it feels like being paused mid-sentence.

I am not unhappy. But I am not where I am supposed to be either.

I am in between.

And being “in between” is its own kind of ache.

Still, somewhere beneath all the frustration, there is a quiet resolve forming. Because waiting, as painful as it is, is also sharpening something inside me. It is forcing patience, building clarity, and maybe, just maybe, preparing me for the life I want so badly.

So I hold on.

To the image of that city. To the life I’ve imagined. To the version of myself that is already walking those streets, even if I’m not there yet.

One day, the passage will clear.

And when it does, I won’t hesitate.

I won’t look back.

I never believed in God.

Not as a child in school when the other kids bowed their heads in prayer. Not when I stared up at the night sky wondering what it all meant. Not even during the kind of pain that makes people turn toward heaven out of sheer desperation. The idea never took root in me. Not because I was angry or rebellious, but simply because I didn’t see it. I didn’t feel it. And when I asked questions, the answers came wrapped in metaphors that sounded like stories, beautiful, yes, but also hollow when pressed.

So when I finally stumbled across Friedrich Nietzsche’s words “God is dead. God remains dead. And we have killed him” I felt no shock. If anything, I felt understood. Validated. Someone had finally said it out loud. But it took me years to grasp what Nietzsche was really saying. It wasn’t a slogan for atheists. It wasn’t a smug pronouncement. It was a warning perhaps one of the most profound ever written.

Nietzsche wasn’t celebrating the death of God. He was grieving it.

He saw something most people still refuse to confront: that when we remove God from our worldview, we don’t just lose a supernatural being we unravel a vast web of meaning that generations had wrapped around human life. Morality, justice, purpose, destiny - all these things were once grounded in the divine. Without that anchor, they float, unmoored.

And that’s where things get complicated for someone like me an atheist who lives fully in the reality of godlessness, not just as a belief, but as a lived experience.

Because even without belief, the echoes remain.

I was raised in a world built by believers. Our holidays, our laws, our customs, even the language we use about good and evil are all soaked in centuries of religious meaning. Even as faith declines, the scaffolding of belief is still standing. It shapes the way we think, how we judge others, how we see ourselves. Nietzsche’s cry of “God is dead” wasn’t just about the disappearance of belief. It was about the disintegration of the entire system built on that belief.

And what terrified him was that nothing had come to take its place.

It’s not enough to stop believing in God. The harder work, the real work, is replacing what belief once offered. People think that if you take away God, you’re just left with the truth. But no one talks about the vacuum. The silence. The terrifying freedom that comes with realising there is no cosmic authority handing out meaning or morality. There is only us.

Nietzsche called this the dawn of nihilism, a time when people would recognise that life has no objective meaning and would either collapse under the weight of despair or retreat into illusions. He saw how easy it would be for people to cling to nationalism, to ideology, to empty rituals, anything that mimics the certainty religion once provided. Anything to avoid facing the truth that there is no ultimate judge, no final reward, no divine plan.

As an atheist, this truth isn’t new. But it’s never easy.

We don’t talk enough about what atheism costs. Not socially, but existentially. The comfort of divine justice? Gone. The reassurance that someone is watching over us, that suffering has a purpose, that death is not the end? Gone. And in their place - vast, indifferent silence.

There are days that silence feels liberating. There’s no one watching, no one judging, no script to follow. I am free to live as I choose, to become who I want to be. But there are other days, darker days, when that same freedom feels like a weight. When I ask myself why I should keep going, why I should be kind, or brave, or truthful and there is no voice answering back. Just my own.

And that is Nietzsche’s challenge. If God is dead, then we must become gods ourselves.

Not in arrogance, but in responsibility. We must create values. Build meaning. Craft a life that is worth living, not because it earns us heaven, but because it is beautiful in itself. We are the authors now, whether we like it or not.

That is where Nietzsche’s concept of the Übermensch comes in, not as a superhuman in the comic book sense, but as the person who looks into the abyss and does not flinch. The person who sees the death of old values not as a tragedy, but as a liberation. The Übermensch doesn’t follow inherited truths. He invents. He affirms life, even its pain, even its chaos.

But this isn’t easy. The world around us still whispers in the voice of old gods. It tells us to conform, to consume, to obey. And in the absence of God, new idols step in - money, fame, ideology, identity. We are told what to believe, how to live, what to buy, what to be outraged by. But none of it fills the void. None of it is real.

So what do we do?

If we are truly godless, we must become radically honest. We must begin from scratch, not with answers, but with questions. What is good? What is worth suffering for? What is worth building or destroying or preserving? If morality is no longer handed down from above, then it must rise from within us from empathy, from reason, from love.

And that is the part that religious critics of atheism so often miss - we are not free because we don’t believe rather we are free because we choose to care despite that. We choose to love, knowing it will end. We choose to be kind, knowing there is no cosmic scoreboard. We find meaning not waiting in the clouds but here, in the dirt, in each other.

There is a kind of quiet heroism in that.

When I look at Nietzsche’s words now, I don’t see blasphemy. I see an invitation. A hard, brutal invitation to stand up in the ruins and build something true. Something human. No gods. No promises. Just flesh and blood, courage and doubt. Just life - brief, terrifying, luminous.

So yes, God is dead. And we have killed him, not with malice, but with questions. With discovery. With honesty. And now we must live with what we’ve done.

Not in guilt.

But in responsibility.

Because in the end, meaning isn’t found.

In the intricate tapestry of human connection, the emotional struggles of introverted men in the realm of intimacy often unfold silently, hidden behind a stoic exterior. These men grapple with a profound struggle to articulate their desires, fears, and longings, creating an emotional turmoil that frequently goes unspoken. Society's expectation for men to be emotionally detached only compounds these struggles, leaving introverted men trapped in a cycle of silence.

Behind the calm exterior, introverted men bear the weight of unspoken words, unable to verbalise their deepest desires and insecurities. The fear of judgement or rejection casts a long shadow over their emotional landscape, creating a profound sense of isolation. This silent battle is not merely a lack of words but a poignant yearning for a connection that transcends the physical. Introverted men crave a deep emotional bond, navigating the challenge of societal norms that often emphasise outward expressions of passion.

The burden of initiation adds another layer to their emotional complexity. The societal expectation for men to take the lead in intimacy can be particularly burdensome for introverts. The pressure to be assertive and take change in the bedroom triggers anxiety and a sense of inadequacy, further complicating the emotional landscape.

Beneath the calm surface lies a guarded heart, where vulnerability becomes a daunting prospect. Introverted men navigate the delicate dance between trust and fear, unraveling the layers of emotions that make them who they are. Dispelling the myth that introverted men are emotionally distant is crucial; they carry a reservoir of profound emotions that, when understood and nurtured, can contribute to rich and fulfilling intimacy.

The fear of rejection looms large in the minds of introverted men. The emotional toll of putting oneself out there, only to face rejection, can be overwhelming. Building resilience and embracing rejection as a part of the journey is a crucial step in their emotional growth.

In a world that often celebrates the outgoing and gregarious, the mental landscape of an introvert remains a realm less explored. The term "introvert" is frequently misconstrued as synonymous with shyness, yet it encapsulates a rich tapestry of thoughts and emotions that shape an individual's inner world. This article delves deeper into the mental struggles faced by introverts, shedding light on the intricate challenges they navigate daily.

The Inner Dialogue The hallmark of introversion lies in the propensity for introspection, deep reflection, and an internal dialogue that can rival the most thought-provoking conversations. While this introspective nature fuels creativity and critical thinking, it also lays the groundwork for an internal battle. The constant evaluation of one's thoughts and actions can lead to heightened anxiety and self-doubt, as introverts grapple with the fear of being misunderstood or judged by others.

Social Energy Drain One of the defining characteristics of introversion is the preference for solitude to recharge. Social interactions, especially in large gatherings, can be mentally exhausting for introverts. The sensory overload and the need to process numerous stimuli simultaneously can overwhelm their sensitive nervous systems. This social energy drain often necessitates periods of solitude, which can clash with societal expectations and lead introverts to feel guilty for prioritizing self-care.

Misunderstood Silence Introverts are often misunderstood due to their inclination towards thoughtful observation and measured speech. In a culture that prizes assertiveness and quick-wittedness, the introverted tendency to pause and reflect before responding may be misconstrued as hesitancy or disinterest. This misunderstood silence can lead to feelings of isolation and frustration, as introverts grapple with the challenge of expressing their thoughts in a world that values extroverted communication styles.

Balancing Act The delicate balance between the introvert's desire for meaningful connections and the necessity of solitude is a constant challenge. The pressure to conform to extroverted norms can create an internal tug-of-war, as introverts strive to maintain authenticity while adapting to social expectations. This delicate balancing act can lead to a sense of identity crisis, prompting introverts to question whether they should conform or assert their unique social styles.

Professional Challenges In professional settings, where networking and assertiveness are often emphasized, introverts may encounter additional hurdles. Job interviews, team collaborations, and networking events can become sources of anxiety and stress. The introverted preference for deep focus and independent work may be overlooked, potentially affecting their performance and hindering career growth. Recognizing and accommodating diverse work styles is crucial for creating an inclusive professional environment.

Coping Mechanisms Despite these challenges, introverts develop coping mechanisms to navigate a world that may seem tailored for extroverts. Finding solace in hobbies, embracing mindful practices such as meditation, and cultivating genuine connections with like-minded individuals become essential tools for introverts. These coping mechanisms enable introverts to recharge their social energy reserves and thrive in environments that may initially seem overwhelming.

One of the biggest hurdles for us to accept any criticism is our ego. Ego is our false-self; it is a cover up for our insecurities. Ego leads us to reject other’s opinions which is counter productive for our development. Ego closes our mind and obstructs our vision so that we cannot see everything other than the ideas of of our own. In other words, ego is the feeling of supreme. It is an attitude of thinking ourselves superior to others. Ego obstructs the open mind as it gives a lot of importance to self while rejecting other personalities and point of view.

Ego persists because we deeply attach ourselves with our ideas. It is an unhealthy attachment to self. This attachment leads us to resentment; we resent any thought of making our idea inferior to others. Due to this resentment we show negative emotions while facing a contrasting opinion. We argue, become angry and even try to intimidate to make our idea stand out. We are so attached to our idea that we just cannot see it coming second to someone else’s idea. Let go of this attachment and ego will also be gone.

From above argument, one can ask me, how about if my idea is truly the best? Should not I fight for my idea then or would that also be ego? The answer is - now you know your idea is best. The associated feeling is of confidence and self assurance. While in ego the associated feeling is of insecurity and fear.

Let me give you an example. A four year old kid comes to you and says something negative. Would you be offended or take it on your ego? I don’t think so because you are self assured and confident against a four year old. But if a colleague comes to you and say something negative. What happens then? This time you do take it on your ego. What is the differentiator between your responses to these criticisms? In my opinion, the difference is your own confidence level. You are confident against a four year old but become in-secured when a colleague or boss or neighbour criticises you to the level where ego will disappear.

When we are self assured and confident against a contrasting opinion - it is self respect. In this situation we respect our own opinion while giving importance to other opinion as well. But when we have ego then we become in-secured and scared, we close ourselves in a shell thus not respecting other’s point of view. Ego leads us to argument, anger and ultimately to pain and hurt. However, self respect leads us to stability and peace.

You can only learn from a mistake after you admit you have made it. As soon as you start blaming other people (or the universe itself) you distance yourself from any possible lesson. But if you courageously stand up and honestly say, “This is my mistake and I am responsible” the possibilities for learning will move towards you. Admission of a mistake, even if only privately to yourself, makes learning possible by moving the focus away from blame assignment and towards understanding. Wise people admit their mistakes easily. They know progress accelerates when they do.

This advice runs counter to the cultural assumptions we have about mistakes and failures, namely that they are shameful things. We are taught in school, in our families, or at work to feel guilty about failure and to do whatever we can to avoid mistakes. This sense of shame combined with the inevitability of setbacks when attempting difficult things explains why many people give up on their goals: they are not prepared for the mistakes and failures they will face on their way to what they want. What is missing in many people’s beliefs about success is the fact that the more challenging the goal, the more frequent and difficult setbacks will be. The larger your ambitions, the more dependent you will be on your ability to overcome and learn from your mistakes. But, for many reasons admitting mistakes is difficult. An implied value in many cultures is that our work represents us: if you fail a test, then you are a failure, if you make a mistake then you are a mistake.

What is Guilt? What is Shame?

Guilt is a feeling that everyone is familiar with. It can be described as a bothered conscience or a feeling of culpability for offences. We feel guilty when we feel responsible for an action that we regret. There are several types of guilt. People can feel ashamed, unworthy, or embarrassed about actions for which they are responsible. In this case, we refer to true guilt - or guilt that is appropriate. However, true guilt is only one form of guilt. People can also feel guilty about events for which they are not responsible. This false guilt can be equally destructive, if not more so. Feeling guilty for events which are out of our control is often unproductive and detrimental.

Although shame is an emotion that is closely related to guilt, it is important to understand the differences. Shame can be defined as a painful emotion caused by consciousness of guilt, shortcoming, or impropriety. Shame is often a much stronger and more profound emotion that guilt. Shame is when we feel disappointed about something inside of us, our basic nature. Both shame and guilt can have intensive implications for our perceptions of self and our behaviour toward other people, particularly in situations of conflict.

Reactions to Guilt and Shame

Because of the differences between shame and guilt (who I am versus what I did), people respond to each emotion differently. Guilt, because it emphasises what someone did wrong, tends to elicit more constructive responses, particularly responses which seek to mend the damage done. Guilt is tied to beliefs about what is right and wrong, moral and immoral. When we violate one of these moral guidelines, it causes us to feel guilty over our actions and seek to fix what we have done. As a result, guilt is an important tool in maintaining standards of right and wrong in individuals and society as a whole. As such, guilt can often be used as a tool to overcome conflict.

Shame, on the other hand, emphasises what is wrong with ourselves. It has much more inward focus, and as such, leads shameful parties to feel poorly about themselves, rather than simply the actions then have taken. The result is often an inward - turning behaviour - avoiding others, hiding your face, removing yourself from social situations. Therefore, shame can lead to withdrawal from social situations and a subsequent defensive, aggressive, and retaliatory behaviour, which only exacerbates conflict, rather than alleviating it.

Shame can also lead to other types of behaviour, many of which serve little or no constructive role. People cope with shame in many ways. However, few get at the actual source of the emotion. The following is a list of common shame-driven behaviours:

Attacking or striking out at other people In an attempt to feel better about their shame, people will often strike out at others in the hopes that they will be lifted up by bringing others down. While this behaviour may produce short-term relief from shame, in the long-term, shame is only strengthened - in both parties - and nothing is done to get at the root of the problem.

Seeking power and perfection Others attempt to overcome their shame by preventing the possibility of future shame. One way in which they do this is by aiming for perfection - a process that inevitably fails and causes more problems. Another manner in which people cope is by seeking power, which makes them feel more valuable.

Diverting blame By blaming our faults or problems on others, we can avoid guilt and shame. However, like the previous responses, doing this fails to get at the core problems and as a result, fails to achieve its purpose.

Being overly nice or self-sacrificing People sometimes compensate for feelings of shame or unworthiness by attempting to be exceptionally nice to others. By pleasing everyone else, we hope to prove our worth. However, this inevitably involves covering up our true feelings, which is, once again, self-defeating.

Withdrawal By withdrawing from the real world, we can essentially numb ourselves to the feelings of guilt and shame so that we are no longer upset by these sorts of things. Again, nothing has been done to address the core issues of the problem.

While each of these actions may provide temporary relief, the long-term effects are often negative, and the result is the passing on of guilt or shame to others.

The Role of Guilt and Shame in Conflict

As illustrated previously, guilt and shame can play important role in both the creation and alleviation of conflict. In particular, shame can be an important factor in the development of conflicts. The nature of shame and the resulting tendencies to withdraw and lash out defensively can lead to escalation of an already tense situation. This can result in a cycle of conflict; as one party lashes out at the other, both sides view themselves less positively, increasing shame all around. This in turn results in continued aggressive behaviour. Take, for instance, a situation of ethnic conflict; particularly where the members of one side have been treated like lesser human beings because of their ethnic identity. The resulting shame over who they are leads to retaliatory behaviour and aggressive actions. In a situation of divorce where one or both parties have been shamed for various reasons, the resulting responses can only enhance the negative aspects of what is already an unpleasant experience.

Although shame often leads to negative behaviour, guilt can cause positive and constructive changes in the way people act. Martin Luther King mobilised the white’s guilt, when they made clear the discrepancy between white American’s deep-rooted beliefs in freedom and equality and the way African Americans were treated in this country. Once the collective guilt became strong enough, racial segregation became illegal in the United States and remedies, such as affirmative action, were implemented to try to make amends.

Using guilt as an influence tool can be very helpful, but must be used with caution. Guilt can be used to influence people to do both good and bad - positive and negative. As with any tool, it is important that it is used appropriately and responsibly. Guilt is also useful in preventing conflict in the first place. We all have a moral code, or an idea of what we think is right and wrong. Whenever we consider doing something in contrast with this moral code, our guilt will often kick in and prevent us from doing so before we ever act. We treat people in accordance with our moral codes because we don’t want to feel guilty.

However, in order for guilt to play a role in conflict resolution and prevention, an individual must view certain acts as important. In other words, in order for guilt to prevent conflict - inducing behaviour, people must view their behaviour as wrong and as significant. For example, a person who drives 65 km per hour in a 50 km per hour zone will only feel guilty about it if they view speeding as an important action. The same is true of ethnic conflict or marital relations. In order to prevent ethnic cleansing, people must view that action as important to avoid. Otherwise, guilt will not be an important factor.

What Individuals can do?

Our universe has always fascinated me. Asteroids, meteoroids, planets, stars, galaxies, nebulas and of course the Black Hole. Since ancient times, scientists have always questioned of how small we are in front of the whole universe. Such minute is our existence that our imagination can never travel long enough to discover the hidden secrets of this vast empty dark space. They say that our existence was a result of an accident by the universe. But what if it wasn’t such case?

Have we ever given a thought that maybe whatever has been going on ever since the beginning of time, the Big Bang, say the formation and destruction of stars, planets, galaxies, nebulas and even the Big Bang itself, the purpose was so that we, the living beings of this planet, can exist? We are not just a speck in this universe, but a manifestation of this universe. The whole universe has worked for billions of years to make our existence possible. The moment we will realise this and start believing in it, we will be able to realise about the infinite possibilities and how our lives are bigger than us.

Procrastination is a costly and draining problem for all of us. The easiest way to deal with procrastination is to never let it get started in the first place. Procrastination plagues us all. More plans go astray, more dreams go unfilled, and more time is wasted. It is a major stumbling block for almost everyone seeking to improve his use of time. For many, this becomes an insidious habit that can ruin their careers, destroy their happiness, and even shorten their lives.

As 2017 is wrapping up, we all are looking back at our achievements in this year. Some have a lot, some few, some none. But for me it has been only 1. But this achievement is something everybody craves for in their entire life and only few fortunate people get it.

This year I made not just friends, but a family. Few like minded crazy people became really special for me. Friends, who have actually cared for me selflessly. I know that I haven’t done enough for them, but I am still surprised how they had accepted me the way I was, and changed me for good.

Before anything, I want to thank a special friend of mine, a sister-like-friend. Thank you Rhea, for being there for me when I needed you the most.

Now, let me tell you a wonderful story. It was 8th January, 2017 - the date I shall never forget. After a lot of feasibility checks, I decided to go on a picnic with 7 more people out of which I knew 3 of them properly. And now when I look back and think, it was the best decision I had ever taken till date. It was this day when this group was formed. The best thing about this group was that everybody in this group opened up to each other irrespective whether they knew each other or not. It was truly a mind-blowing day, with a lot of travelling and playing.

Little did I know that this group would become something special. Little did I know that this bunch of people will change me as a person. The crux of our friendship was probably about accepting each other and enjoying each other’s company. We continued to meet each other almost everyday, mainly to play badminton, in our “Central Perk”, the Northern Park.

Although a part of the group has parted ways, and the remaining will soon, the bond we have grown is unimaginable.

Bidu, Kunal, Naman, Palak, Priya, Rajshree, Rhea, Shreya, Subham and Vaibhav, thank you all for making this year wonderful and memorable. Looking forward to more wonderful memories together.

Very less people get to meet a person who can turn out to be a very good friend, and sometimes more than a friend. I have been one of the fortunate few. I don’t have a sister of my own and therefore I could never understand what is the meaning of having a sister. And here came a super-emotional person who once used to hate me (and I used to hate her) and later on when realised the type of person I am, accepted me and within few days we grew a strong bond amongst ourselves. And the most amazing thing about it was that it became so quickly that I had no idea when we turned from enemies to as I say, “Man-made siblings”. She is amongst the very few I have promised myself, that I would care about forever, no matter what. I understand that these are strong words, but having a friend like her is nothing less than a blessing.

Today is her birthday. And I wish her a joyous and successful life ahead.

It was 30th August when I met him. Highest wicket taking pace bowler in the history of test cricket (562 wickets). Yes, I am talking about Glenn McGrath. When I entered the club and was still in the parking space, I didn’t know that he had already arrived there. You normally don’t expect celebrities to arrive before the audience. It is not a common thing to see and specially what you hear and read in general. But, he was there sitting, wearing a black t-shirt with Hardy’s brand logo. Alongside him was Boria Majumdar. I met Boria few months back at a book launch. Boria Majumdar is a sports journalist and author. He has tremendous knowledge about sports, specially cricket. Alongside that he writes books. He can be called Indian Alan Wilkins.

The programme for the club members were supposed to begin at 5:30 PM. I and my brother reached at around 5 PM and we got to see how television interviews are actually conducted with Boria Majumdar asking questions and Glenn McGrath replying to them. Boria was very intellegent for not asking too much about his career rather than his views on the current Indian cricket team and Rio Olympics 2016. After half an hour, the interview got over and it was time for autograph and photograph.

After 15 minutes the second “innings” began where McGrath would interact with the club members and he would answer Boria’s and various member’s questions. I was seated in the front seat and all throughout the session I could not believe that I was sitting just 5 meters away from the best pace bowler the world had produced. Actually, even now, while writing, it is becoming a bot tough to believe. After long discussion with Boria, McGrath began taking questions from the club members. 2 best questions were given a bottle of wine.

Day 1 (10th August 2016) My 6 days journey began today at around 2:30 PM when my taxi arrived at my house to collect me and drop me in the railway station.

Reaching railway station was a huge challenge as the whole city was stuck in a jam because of flood  due to heavy rainfall. But, bless the driver who drove the car so magnificently that I was able to reach the station within 1 hour, 1 hour before expected time. I was very impressed by the knowledge he had about the streets of the city. He knew exactly where there will be jam and at what time will there will be 1 way route and more stuffs like that.

Train departed on time. Initially, the companions in my journey consisted of a retired government employee, a middle-aged smoke addicted person, an Indian Army personnel and a very interesting person. This person was probably in his 30s. The problem with this man was that he was deaf and dumb (could not hear and speak). But, just like the experience I already had, people of these abnormalities are often found to be open-heart. They are always happy and try to keep their surroundings happy.

In the next station 2 more people joined in, who were friends of the deaf and dumb man. It turned out to be that his friends also had the same problem and both of them were also very nice. They smiled, they laughed and enjoyed conversing with others too. Today I realised for the first time that being different has its own uniqueness, no matter the hardships one has to go through. People with disabilities find out different ways of doing a work. And the moment one does a work in different ways, he tends to find a new result which ordinary people fail to find out.

Now, let me tell you about a very important thing in any trip: Food. The train I am travelling in is a national super-fast express train. Its services are better than almost all the trains where one can rely on the food given by the train service providing snacks, starters, main course and desert. But, said that, this train is the most expensive train in the country.

Now, I need to go to sleep and wait for my destination which will arrive tomorrow.

Day 2 (11th August 2016) Today was a very tiring day. The day began in the train I boarded yesterday. Waited the whole morning for the station to arrive. The train became late by 45 minutes which was alright by Indian Railway standards. When the train arrived at last, there were chaos all over the train and on the platform too, which a normal sight and we Indians are used to it.

Instead of wasting time behind me boarding taxi and reaching the hotel and bore you about my hotel and all, let me come to the straight point and tell you about this city.

This city is the capital of India. The centre stage of all political drama, the city where every central government employees want to work in and the place where the biggest personalities of the country resides in, starting from Cabinet Ministers, Prime Minister to the President himself. It is a city where every Indian’s life depends on, law of the country is made and high level decisions regarding the country is made and the place where 2 governments resides. If you are a politics enthusiast, this is the city you should visit. New Delhi.

At first, me and my friend, who lives in New Delhi, visited the Qutub Minar and Iron Pillar, which is adjacent to Qutub Minar and a very interesting, yet not so famous reasons, Alai Minar. The weather was suitable. Slight rain made sure that the weather doesn’t become too hot and we don’t become too wet.

Qutub-Minar

Alai Minar

Iron Pillar

Later on, we tried going to India Gate, but due to tight security for the Independence Day, we had to see it from far away. And that was the end of my sight-seeing of New Delhi for the time being. Since, there was a lot of time and there was no point of going back to the hotel, I decided to go to a relative’s house. I had dinner there and then returned to my hotel at mid-night. And after an hour, my father arrived at the hotel and joined me in this trip.

Now, I need to go to sleep and wake up after 2 hours.

Day 3 (12th August 2016) Not much sleep today. After 2 hours of sleep, me and my father had to catch the train. Instead of boring you with the details of our train travel, let me come straight to the point and tell you about our next destination: Jhansi.

An historical city, famous for its Queen who showed the meaning of bravery and set an example for the women of this world that what a woman can do, if she is determined to do something. I am talking about “Rani of Jhansi, Rani Laxmi Bai”. Khub ladi mardani, woh toh Jhansi wali rani thi. Her tales are still discussed in the history books. She is still set as a shining example of counrage and bravery.

Jhansi is a small and congested city of the state of Uttar Pradesh. It is situated in the Bundalkhand area of the state.

Let me give you a background story about my connection to this place. My paternal great-grandfather and his two younger brothers shifted to this place, by travelling from Banaras by Camel, to practice law. Slowly, he made his own house. Some might call it mini-palace as in those times houses were big and had numerous rooms with large terrace, courtyard and gardens. Later, my grandmother was born there and later got married. Due to deteriorating health of my great grandfather, my grandparents shifted to the house and every since lived there. Four children, three girls and one boy (my father) were born and raised there. This is the connection I have with this city, although the house is no more with us as it got sold few years back.

We stayed in Jhansi for few hours and stayed in a relative’s house. And in few hours we saw the “Durga Bari”, where traditionally Durga Puja is being celebrated every year by Bandhava Samiti for the past 150+ years, few friends who my father knew since his childhood, our house which was sold has now been converted to a shopping complex. We boarded the train for Gwalior (my aunt’s place) in the evening and reached there after an hour. My uncle and aunt had arrived there to pick us up.

Today, I had morning tea in one city (New Delhi), breakfast in train, lunch in another city (Jhansi) and dinner in another city (Gwalior).

Now, I am off for a long sleep. I have no more energy to be awake.

Day 4 (13th August 2016) There is not much to say about today. Today was a day for relaxation. Eating, sleeping, chatting and nothing more. Therefore, I am ending my today’s note now, since there is nothing much to say.

Day 5 (14th August 2016) After 2 hours of sleep, me and my father woke up in train heading to New Delhi for our way back to home in Kolkata. After reaching the guest house we got ready and left for sight-seeing. There were few things yet to see in New Delhi like Jantar Mantar, the famous Cannaught Place, Parathe Wale Gali and Red Fort.

Jantar Mantar

Cannaught Place is a huge area with markets and varieties of shops. The one place in New Delhi, where you can get everything. We roamed around the market, had coffee in Starbucks (that is something for a boy from Kolkata), bought some cloths and then headed for Parathe Wali Gali in Old Delhi for lunch.

Parathe Wale Gali, established before Independence has seen 5-6 generations and is famous for huge number of varieties of parathas served in various shops. Gali or lane is very congested and shabby and smells of various food items.

Although the Red Fort was closed due to security for Independence Daay celebration, we could see it from the boundary fence along the road. There were Indian Flags all along the fort, security personnel all along. But, the beauty of the Red Fort could not be diminished even after everything. Made by the maker of Taj Mahal, Shah Jahan. became a residential structure for many emperors of the great Mughal Dynasty. Now, it is only a monument and Indepedence Day speech is give there. It was designated a UNESCO World Heritage Site in 2007.

After seeing the Red Fort, we returned to our guest house and the rest of the day we spent by resting as the the next day we had to catch our flight for back home.

Day 6 (15th August 2016) HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY

It has been quite a while since I have written anything here. A lot have been happening in my life lately. Postpone of examinations by 2 months due to Legislative Assembly Election in West Bengal, really tight situation in the syllabus, return of the interest of comic book (actually, it had never gone, just that I found ways to read it digitally as they are not available in my city).

Anyway, lets see what can I write to you about. On 30th April, I got a new laptop. It is a wonderful laptop, Acer E15. Intel Core i5 6th Generation processor. This laptop has a very interesting story. I would like to share the story with you all.

Last time I wrote anything was about my Raipur visit and then about the extract from a book. So, it has been quite a long time.

I have never been so busy ever in my life as I am now. Get up early in the morning (as early as 4:30 AM) and then get exhausted by the end of the noon and yet drag yourself to go on for the next 10 hours or more. I wake up at 4:30 AM, get ready and leave for college at 5:30 AM. College begins at 6:15 AM and finished at 10 AM. It doesn’t stop there. From 11:30 AM to 3:30 PM, I have another class. So much mental pressure. And then home. Wait, it doesn’t stop there. Again class at 5 PM. By the end of the day I feel as if I have just now fought a war and returned home.

Well, this is the life I am leading. But, for now vacations have begun and all I am doing is having a rest. Today is the first day of the month long vacation.

Recently me and my mother went for a trip to my grandparent’s house in Raipur, Chattisgarh. Nothing much to say about this trip since it was nothing fun going there except seeing my grandparents. I go there regularly just to pay a visit and see if they are alright. I had gone to Raipur last year. Although I couldn't find time to write anything about the trip because of my studies and college admissions, I will write about the city in the next blog soon. At that time I had seen everything about the new developments of this newly made state capital. This city is growing really fast. But, what I achieved from this visit  is very important for every human being.

In this visit to Raipur I learnt the harshness of old age. I understood how cruel old age can be. Slowly your body parts starts to wear off. Your senses decrease. Your whole body disapproves to coordinate with you. Many types of illness finally get you. The body with which you once used to run around and travel long distances now can not move from bedroom to dinning table without pain and difficulty. Once when you used to stand in local trains and buses for hours and over long distances, now you can’t stand for few seconds without stick or someone’s arm for support. There used to be a time when you used to eat a lot and taste so many dishes the world could produce, but at these cruel times you just want some light dishes because your hunger has vanished. The eyes with which you could see this world around and read great books, now does not have the energy to read a whole page of texts.

I will not write much today. Since, it has been a long time since I have post anything here, I thought of spending few minutes today.

My first year University examination is very near, not even a month left. It is not easy to take up such a pressure, specially when you begin to think that college studies aren't easy and it takes quite an effort to score marks. This time, it is not about getting admission in a good institution, but for the best job possible. And when job and money comes to the picture, the man’s effort increases by 2 to 3 times more.