psycho / KILLER

“Since when does one need to have a reason to be weird?”

   “   How … old was she? Or – like, how old would she be now, do you think?  ”   

   “   Not if you’re planning on communicating with her instead of getting eaten alive. You never seen an alien movie? We come in peace, or something. Now, I don’t speak lake monster, but my wholehearted belief in her is certainly more of a welcoming vibe that whatever you’ve got going on. SERIOUSLY. If you keep up the whole fake thing, she’ll eat you in front of me and I’ll be traumatized for life.   ”

   It might sound mean, but part of Teddy was hoping he’d reject the offer — made out of politeness, out of a failure to offer anything else. He didn’t want a REAL rejection, a no thanks, man that was sure to gain laughter from the other members of the band later. But an I have other plans, or you don’t need to do that. Something. But now there’s extra pressure, something he can’t alleviate with a nod and some silence padding the conversation. But he tries anyway, silent conformation opted for until they’re almost to the lot his car is in, and he says   “  Um, up here.  ”   It isn’t until they turn and the car rolls to a stop, when hand on the door, he manages:   “   D-do you like … lasagne?  ”

                    “    it ‘ s  like  …  whatever  ,  you  know  ?    ”  she  shrugs  .  her  eyes  off  the  road  .  “   i ‘ m  like  ,  a  totally  different  person  now  ,  anyways  .    “    she  is  ,  in  some  ways  .  and  in  others  ,  like  ,  not  so  much  …  and  perhaps  a  part  of  her  does  entertain  the  idea  of  totaling  the  corvette  —  perhaps  a  second  too  long  ,  for  she  is  still  in  thought  when  they  pass  the  gate  …  so  she  does  not  slow  down  ,  she  does  not  back  up  …   naturally  ,  her  instinct  is  to  u -  turn  ,  and  for  a  very  long  second  it  feels  like  the  car  might  flip  over  …  but  it  doesn ‘ t  .  adrenaline  rushes  through  her  veins  ,  and  she  laughs  .    “    holy  shit    “    

          “there’s a lot of crime.” it was the simpler answer. nevermind that most of the crime he saw was committed by someone who was now in prison. or at least it had been. “exactly. so why move when it ends up just being a hassle and then people are going to be shiw no matter where you go?” gleb figured that it wouldn’t change and he didn’t expect it to. “i don’t know. just hang. what are you supposed to do with friends?” there wasn’t much in town that he’d actually consider fun. “and no, i’ve heard enough horror stories about the lake to know to avoid it.” 

     ❛   well, sure. but that’s—an activity, i’d say. if you were to simply be, then… alone, seems to be the obvious answer. no? because, and don’t get me wrong, but you hardly seem the extroverted kind.   ❜

     ❛   i don’t know… something, something—learning from your parents’ mistakes.   ❜     he starts, uncertain of the point, and if he even had one. perhaps he did, only he must’ve lost it in a head spinning full speed.     ❛   personally, i … i choose my own brand of fuck - ups.   ❜

                    ‘‘  oh  they  will  ,  i  mean  if  i’m  stuck  in  this  shit  -  ass  town  for  the  rest  of  my  life  ,  i  better  make  myself  into  a  local  legend  .  whether  it’s  for  doing  some  spontaneous  good  deed  or  simply  going  on  a  killing  spree  -  time  shall  tell  .  ’’  she  mused  ,  although  her  tone  &  physical  nature  seemed  teasing  ,  she  was  far  from  kidding  .  jojo  was  just  a  mystery  wrapped  inside  a  box  that  had  a  ominous  message  upon  someone  opening  it  .  you  never  knew  what  you  would  get  -  punch  in  the  face  or  friendly  smile  &  free  food  .  ‘‘  probably  both  -  i  mean  show  the  talent  with  the  vandalism  ,  then  maybe  do  some  prints  on  the  side  for  extra  cash  .  yeah  ,  i  know  a  few  people  that  would  do  well  ,  but  if  someone  told  me  that  i  forgot  their  ranch  ,  i’d  probably  get  fired  for  throwing  it  in  their  face  .  ’’  she  shrugged  ,  at  least  she  was  aware  of  her  violent  personality  .  ‘‘  beautiful  .  not  that  it’s  a  goal  ,  although  i  know  i’d  rule  at  least  one  part  of  prison  if  i  got  behind  bars  .  guess  it  wouldn’t  help  anyone  when  they  find  out  i  enjoy  pain  .  ’’  she  said  ,  a  slight  skip  in  her  step  as  she  begins  their  adventure  to  the  abandoned  farmhouse  .

“   What? When? Where? — How … how old was she? I mean, like … oh my god, I’m sorry.   ”   Did she ever come home? is the question even Pippa thinks is too insensitive to ask, at least on the first go. 

                    ‘‘  i  —–  alright  ,  whatever  .  you  get  used  to  it  after  a  while  ,  i  mean  i  barely  notice  it  .  ’’  yeah  ,  because  there  wasn’t  a  time  where  she  wasn’t  at  least  somewhat  intoxicated  .  it  eased  her  anxieties  ,  allowed  her  to  actually  live  the  life  that  she  was  going  to  be  proud  of  on  her  deathbed  instead  of  looking  back  on  a  life  full  of  stress  &  lack  of  sleep  or  the  worry  of  what  her  body  looked  like  compared  to  others  .  ‘‘  probably  ,  but  we  both  know  i’m  far  from  a  fighter  ,  i’d  probably  apologize  if  i  hit  someone  ,  even  if  they  were  getting  ready  to  hit  me  first  .  my  parents  were  hippies  ,  the  fuck  you  guys  want  from  me  ?  ’’  it  was  a  joke  ,  although  far  from  a  lie  .  ‘‘  what  else  are  they  gonna  do  around  here  ?  arrest  cleo  ?  although  it’s  not  like  i’m  hurting  anyone  ,  no  one  else  was  around  .  ’’

   “   Maybe Cleo just doesn’t show herself to lame-os who think she’s a crock of shit. I mean — haven’t you heard half the stuff that happened? That proves you wrong. How do you explain the upticks in alleged sightings before every attack — or that there was that guy that was witnessed being pulled under, no struggle by the police? Or that there are scratches on the hull of the boat all those kids were in? Or …  ”  She looks exasperated.  “  I could seriously keep going, too. I mean, it’s been twenty years this year since the biggest drowning Lake Cleone ever saw. You don’t think that means something … just might happen?  ”

     ❛   you’re gonna make me work out in the snow, are you? dude, come on. you can’t rush perfection! give me until, like… june. at least. and i’ll have it up to regulations and shit. could even live out there if you wanted to.   ❜     a cough.     ❛   … right now?   ❜

   Teddy can only muster a nod of confirmation, but he’s grateful. You’d think after years spent together, he’d be a little more comfortable around other members of the band. He’s not. He’s been playing with them for forever, and still: he feels like an outsider. He’s certainly one to the image of the band, quiet and clean cut and … decidedly UNPUNK. Still: it’s a good thing for Kit to do. Something anyone else might have expected of a friend, or sort-of-friend … but not Teddy.   “   Thanks.   ”   The car turns, and Teddy shifts his gaze from outside the window back to Kit.  “  If … uh, if you don’t want money, I’m cooking d-dinner. For me and m-my mom. I don’t know when she’ll be …  ”  He trails off, just in case — okay, because he DEFINITELY sounds lame describing a night in with his mother.  “  You … can have some.  ”

he’s grown unfamiliar to kindness as of late, and while usually he’d take it poorly, anticipating a future mockery, he instead uses it as an instruction manual. ‘   yeah. fuck him. this is my house too.    ’ lou scouts out a sizeable rock, hurling it at the window like he’s bowling two-handed — he hadn’t even bothered checking if they were even locked. the glass comes crashing down, the frame still spiked by the shards hanging on. ‘   i feel nauseous. i’m not gonna puke or anything but i think i need to sit down.    ’

“ that sounds like your problem, not mine.”

‘   yeah. dad’s not working today.’ he assures, though a scowl is quick to climb onto his lips - taking his questions as though they’re interrogation and he’s one bad answer away from committing himself to the slammer. ‘   and we had an argument. i’m done for. i can’t fucking go to a homeless shelter. i just can’t.   ’