◟𝐟𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 / 𝖋𝖊𝖆𝖗◝

watching the perimeter wasn’t a big deal. it was the kind of job–not unlike her father’s cleaning business–where it was either dead ( pun intended ) or busy. truth be told, part of her would much rather be outside of woodbridge, but there was no way she was leaving polly alone in this place. they hadn’t been there long enough for nikola to feel comfortable, but there was no way they could keep surviving the way they had been. it was time to grow some roots. she was thinking about this glumly as the perimeter when she decided to pack it in for her shift and see if her relief was coming soon. she’s surprised, instead, by a stranger looking for a puppy. “are you serious?” her words are dubious, not hostile, but everything she says has a trace of toxicity she can’t help. “like a puppy? i haven’t seen a puppy in forever.” nik was really more of a cat person, but she liked other people’s dogs just fine. she just couldn’t picture herself caring for one. “no, ihaven’t seen anything but shuffling corpses since noon, but uh–” surprising herself by how badly she missed simple things like puppies, she couldn’t turn down the prospect of seeing one. hell, maybe if they found it, he’d bring it to see polly. “–i could help you look, if you want.”

                                           *  ◟   DOES   HE   WANT   HER   HELP   ?   does   he   need   her   help   ?   eyes   shift   from   side   to   side   like   the   male   is   looking   at   some   sort   of   equation   ,   one   that   requires   his   entire   brain   to   think   of   .   ‘   yeah   ,   she’s   a   puppy   .   ’   he   responds   slowly   ,   choosing   words   carefully   to   say   to   the   femme   .   arms   cross   as   he   shifts   his   weight   evenly   .   ‘   how   do   i   know   i   can   trust   you   ,   nikola   ?   if   you   help   me   find   her   ,   how   do   i   know   you   won’t   go   running   off   to   the   leaders   ?   ’   an   unwarranted   interrogation   ,   but   dogs   technically   aren’t   allowed   –   especially   if   they’re   as   useless   as   the   stray   he’s   brought   in   .   he   can   only   bring   up   a   single   argument   about   her   that   would   maybe   help   –   that   she’s   cute   ,   the   cute   little   stray   is   the   cutest   thing   inside   woodbridge   ,   except   for   maybe   cockroach   .

just about to head off — just about to get away from inside the walls, inside the suffocation, when eye spies something going on. and of course, seamus was the head of this disruption from getting the hell out of here. perhaps spending a few minutes listening to whatever the fuck it is this week would be worth it — besides, it should be crystal clear to anyone that seamus was not acting like, well, seamus. something was going on. an eyebrow rose at the words piling together. “ are you hallucinating or something? ” a golden pup with some kind of wrench thing in its mouth? yeah, sounds real fake.  “ i’m pretty damn sure there isn’t a golden pup around, especially if its that young. ”

                                          *  ◟   HEAD   TILTS   ,   CAUGHT   IN   HIS   mind   while   hues   squint   in   the   slightest   .   the   stray   he   brought   in   (   i.e.   :   smuggled   in   )   somehow   untouched   by   the   impurity   of   the   world   .   at   first   ,   she   was   coated   in   layers   dirt   &   blood   ,   so   much   so   seamus   almost   YELPED   when   she   first   approached   him   ,   tongue   out   &   eyes   wide   .   secondly   ,   she   was   so   skinny   seamus   actually   felt   his   heart   hurt   (   which   surprised   him   ,   since   he   didn’t   know   he   had   a   heart   anymore   )   .   now   ,   she   stays   with   him   &   sometimes   he   carries   her   around   in   his   hoodie   ,   but   her   curiosity   is   going   to   get   both   of   them   in   trouble   –   especially   if   he   can’t   train   her   to   be   useful   .   ‘   sure   ,   marcy   ,   ’   nickname   leaves   his   lips   with   a   snide   smile   .   ‘   i’m   hallucinating   .   help   me   ,   keep   your   mouth   shut   &   i’ll   owe   you   one   .   ’

                  𝐒𝐂𝐎𝐖𝐋   𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐒   𝐀𝐍   𝐎𝐅𝐓𝐄𝐍   𝐅𝐑𝐎𝐖𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆   face  ,   arms   crossed   over   her   chest  .   elodie   is   a   coiled   wire—   every   plane   of   her   body   tense   &   on   the   verge   of   a   snap  .   hardly   a   rare   state   for   her   to   be   in  ,   in   truth  ,   but   she   does   seem   worse   than   usual   today  .   frown   a   little   more   severe  ,   hands   curled   a   tad   bit   tighter   into   fists  .   a   passing   nurse   takes   one   look   at   her   &   ducks   out   of   the   way  ,   but   she’s   past   the   point   of   caring  .      ❛      well  ,   that   was   fucking   useless  ,      ❜     she   says  ,   the   words   nearly   a   growl  ,      ❛      what’s   the   goddamn   point   of   risking   my   life   on   these   missions   if   we   never   find   anything  ?     ❜      woodbridge   is   better   stocked   than   anyone   could   have   ever   hoped  ,   but   even   so  ,   certain   supplies   run   low  .   namely—   medicine  .   and   when   she   has   a   seven   year   old   bedridden   with   the   flu  ,   that’s   the   one   thing   she   desperately   needs  .   two   weeks   she’s   spent   away   from   her   son  ,   looking   for   any   sign   of   anything   that   could   help  .   an   old   hospital  ,   a   forgotten   nurse’s   bag  .   (   it’s   not   technically   in   her   job   description   to   bring   back   supplies  ,   but   she’s   never   let   a   pesky   thing   like   rules   stop   her   before  .   she’ll   take   the   flak   from   the   council   if   they   kick   up   a   fuss  .   her   son   comes   first  .   )   NADA  .   elodie   runs   a   hand   through   flyaway   hairs  ,   sighing  .      ❛      have   you   seen   adrian  ?      ❜

                                           *  ◟   SELFISHNESS   LOOKS   GOOD   ON   NOBODY   ;   &   yet   ,   he   wears   it   with   a   badge   of   pride   .   a   world   such   as   theirs   ,   it’d   be   STUPID   to   look   out   for   others   beside   himself   .   he’s   of   no   use   to   anyone   if   he’s   dead   &   while   some   might   falter   under   the   glares   from   the   watchful   eyes   ,   seamus   has   spent   his   entire   life   ignoring   what   others   think   of   him   .   they   don’t   like   him   if   he’s   too   brainy   ,   they   don’t   like   him   if   he   shows   too   much   brawn   ,   he’s   RECKLESS   if   he’s   sacrificial   ,   SELFISH   if   he’s   concerned   with   his   own   survival   .   so   ,   rarely   does   he   leave   the   sheltered   neighborhood   ,   rarely   does   he   volunteer   for   a   mission   unless   he’s   sure   (   &   by   that   ,   he   means   absolutely   ,   100%   sure   )   that   nobody   else   can   do   it   .   sat   with   a   toothpick   between   rows   of   pearly   whites   ,   his   eyes   travel   from   the   words   of   his   book   (   the   bible   ,   believe   it   or   not   )   to   elodie   ,   who’s   expression   matches   the   one   he   sees   in   the   mirror   every   so   often   .   selfishness   looks   good   on   nobody   ,   anger   makes   nobody   look   good   .   ‘   don’t   risk   your   life   then   ,   simple   .   ’   he   muses   ,   going   back   to   the   word   of   a   god   that’s   turned   his   back   on   them   .   ‘   i   haven’t   seen   your   kid   ,      probably   in   bed   somewhere   waiting   for   you   .   ‘was   gonna   bring   him   a   wind   up   car   ,   but   i   couldn’t   find   anything   to   make   it   run   .   ’

                    reality feels like unbludgeoned air to take away their breath   ,   they are feeling floating chandelier across the globe white apathy of a self dancing in the waves   ,   &.    girth    &.   throwing loins of anger that cannot control sense nor sound but the rhythm unescaped by the sound of their own heart in their throat.     ❝  shut up    ,    shut the fuck up    ,   get the fuck off my dick    &.   he’s going to be safe because there is nothing fucking wrong out there.   ❞    they can hear the truth but it wont        SHUT  UP    ,   but that’s how these things go. they are no longer listening to the words that they throw when they are so blinded by anger   &.   fear that they dont know what they are saying anymore. now they are so angry that they are blinded by the red hot tears that are rolling down their cheeks   &.   deaf from their own words.    ❝  just fuck off with your pessimist fucking bullshit   ,   sometimes things are fucking okay jesus fucking christ. god you can fucking kiss my go    -    to    -    hell.  ❞   

closed    /    @deathstands· 

                                          *  ◟   HANDS   DROP   A   COLD   WRENCH   ,   hot   only   where   his   palms   rested   on   steel   .   eyes’ve   always   been   GLACIAL   ,   signature   since   twenty   -   one   years   ,   but   they   look   up   at   other   .   IF   LOOKS   COULD   KILL   ;   but   they   can’t   &   seamus   rises   from   a   knelt   position   ,   red   towel   grabbed   from   the   pocket   of   his   torn   jeans   .   never   has   he   seen   richie   cry   (   or   ,   rather   ,   actually   has   been   the   one   to   make   them   cry   )   &   apologies   will   be   in   store   ,   but   not   when   he’s   wiping   grease   off   his   digits   like   they’ve   all   wiped   blood   off   of   their   own   .   ‘   fuck   off   ,   richie   ,   grow   up   ,   dude   .   ’   words   aren’t   as   harsh   as   the   ones   swirling   around   his   over   active   mind   .   ‘   my   brother’s   DEAD   ,   stop   trying   to   give   me   false   hope   because   you   can’t   accept   that   we   live   in   hell   now   ,   kid   .   ’

jesse squinted at the guy,  half suspicious,  half genuinely confused.  “  define ‘ pup. ’  i didn’t think they had opposable thumbs.  didn’t even think humans really had opposable thumbs at a couple months old.  or the ability to run free.  you looking for baby jesse owens or something? ”  so it wasn’t exactly a current reference.  so what?  there were no current references  ––  society had collapsed.

                                         *  ◟  JESSE’S   OWN   BABBLE   OF   WORDS   disorients   seamus   instead   (   much   to   his   displeasure   )   ,   &   for   a   second   ,   he’s   at   a   loss   for   words   .   mouth   gapes   for   the   slightest   of   seconds   before   he   shakes   his   head   .   ‘   pup   ,   as   in   dog   .   ’   he   keeps   it   short   .   ‘   no   thumbs   ,   just   a   curious   nose   &   a   mouth   made   for   taking   all   my   things   .   ’

                𝐁𝐎𝐓𝐓𝐎𝐌   𝐋𝐈𝐏   𝐉𝐔𝐓𝐒   𝐎𝐔𝐓   𝐈𝐍   a   pout   that   is   ill  -  fitting   on   someone   his   age  ,   but   elias   has   never   been   one   for   p r i d e  .   (   in   the   back   of   his   mind  ,   he   can   almost   hear   his   sister’s   cackle  .   you   were   never   one   for   dignity  ,   either  .   even   when   she’s   not   here  ,   he   can’t   get   away   from   her   teasing  .   )   of   course  ,   he’s   never   been   one   for   humility  ,   either  ,   so   where   does   that   leave   him  ?   somewhere   trapped   in   the   middle  ,   it   seems  .   he   likes   to   think   of   himself   as   balanced  .   no   one   else   seems   to   agree  .   in   any   case  ,   he   is   shameless   in   his   sulking   today  ,   poking   at   his   carrots   rather   like   a   mulish   child  .   two   and   a   half   months   he’d   slaved   over   this   harvest  ,   and   what   does   he   get   for   his   troubles  ?   the   blandest   meal   he’s   ever   had  .   it’s   not   the   cooks’   faults  ,   he   knows  ,   any   more   than   it   is   his   own  .   spices   are   a   rare   commodity   these   days  ,   and   they   cannot   be   wasted   simply   because   elias   dislikes   his   vegetables  .   even   so—   he’s   constantly   craving   the   taste   of   salt  .      ❛      you   know   what   i   miss  ?      ❜      he   questions  ,   but   does   not   wait   for   an   answer   before   he   barrels   on  ,      ❛      those   instant   mac  -  n  -  cheese   boxes  .   the   kraft   ones  .   we   used   to   have   them   three   times   a   week   at   my   house  ,   because   i   couldn’t   cook   for   shit   but   had   two   kids   to   feed  ,   and   i   used   to   hate   them   so   fucking   much  .   never   thought   i’d   actually   long   for   the   taste  .      ❜      but   that’s   just   what   the   apocalypse   does   to   someone  .

                                           *  ◟   NO   SECRET   HERE   ,   THAT   SEAMUS   is   always   in   the   mood   for   complaining   .   elias’s   words   fill   his   system   ,   just   enough   to   almost   make   the   corners   of   his   lips   quirk   up   ,   but   instead   ,   the   male   straightens   up   ,   leaning   on   a   garden   tool   he’s   got   no   experience   with   .   ‘   to   each   his   own   ,   ’   he   comments   .   foot   kicks   at   the   loose   dirt   in   the   slightest   ,   looking   up   &   inhaling   deeply   .   he   misses   a   lot   of   things   about   the   real   world   ,   before   hell   took   over   &   the   dead   were   allowed   to   return   from   their   endless   sleep   .   he   misses   his   job   .   he   misses   the   telescopes   ,   the   rockets   &   the   like   minded   scientists   he   used   to   work   with   .   most   of   all   ,   he   misses   the   simple   things   ;   traffic   at   six   in   the   morning   ,   smelling   barbecue   on   the   street   he   lived   on   ,   binging   a   netflix   show   with   a   hookup   on   his   arm   .   ‘   but   you   know   what   i   miss   the   most   ?   ’   he   questions   ,   eyes   staring   off   like   he’s   imagining   it   .   ‘   not   food   ,   but   cigarettes   .   dirty   ,   quick   ,   terrible-for-your-health   cigarettes   .   not   the   second   -   hand   shit   people   pass   off   as   cigarettes   .   ’

                                          *  ◟  SURPRISE   ,   SURPRISE      –-      A   DECISION   HE’S   made   has   come   back   to   bite   him   right   in   the   ass   .   twenty   -   nine   years   of   this   ,   should   seamus   really   be   surprised   ?   the   blond   doesn’t   think   it   matters   ,   because   his   footsteps   are   sparsely   heard   &   his   posture’s   a   little   too   straight   (   ‘   since   when   has   SEAMUS   walked   like   a   pastor   ?   ’   someone   says   when   they   think   he   can’t   hear   )   ,   but   at   he’s   good   (   or   ,   rather   ,   he   thinks   he’s   good   )   at   hiding   secrets   .   rounds   the   corner   &   sea   blue   hues   land   on   the   other   ,   face   melting   from   harsh   &   concentrated   to   as   friendly   as   he   can   muster   .   ‘   by   any   chance   ,   have   you   seen   a   little   golden   pup   around   carrying   a   socket   wrench   ?   ’   he   asks   fast   ,   hoping   to   disorient   them   with   the   question   ,   get   an   honest   answer   &   LEAVE   before   anything   else   is   asked   .   ‘   little   thing   ,   can’t   be   older   than   a   few   months   .   ’

                                stats  /  wanted  connections  tag  /  connections  page

(   ben   hardy.   cis   male.   he   /   him.   )   /   SEAMUS   OLMSTEAD   has   been   with   the   group   for   two   years   and   is   currently   doing   their   part   in   the   community   as   a   car   mechanic.   while   here,   the   twenty-nine   year   old   has   created   the   reputation   of   being   abrasive   &   cursory,   but   can   also   be   known   as   venturesome   &   jocular.   in   a   sticky   situation,   they   will   resort   to   fight   mode   and   their   current   weapon   is   a   handmade   spear.