fake happy

So many people romanticize heartbreak. The truth is that it’s raw and ugly and tears you apart invisibly from the inside.

Heartbreak is having white knuckles from clenched fists, holding myself back from texting you to say I miss you. Feeling the crushing weight of missing you so much that it’s hard to breathe. Dreaming of you and then sobbing when I wake up because I realize it’s not real. Feeling a pain inside of me when I remember seeing your stunning smile. Searching for a missing piece of myself that I might never get back. Wanting to sleep all of the time because reality is too hard to face. Grey everywhere because you took the light and colour out of my world when you left. Apathetic about whether the sun rises or not, because it all just blends together into a blur of loneliness. Jealousy for whoever still gets to see you and interact with you every single day.