Sick Freak🌷

When you speak to me, you captivate me. Your voice gives me chills, as I quiver.

I can remember your touch, and your breath on my ear.

Sometimes I do miss you, but only when you touched me.

As the days pass by, the secrets that were shared are starting to get locked up. Opinions are not being said.

A wave of emotions are felt yet nothing is being done.

The constant indirect comments hurt. New friends already know the history, yet there is no memory of sharing.

Trust is no longer there, it disappears when someone mentioned the traumatizing past. Yelling out the insecurities that keep one from progressing.

And it is all embarrassing.

We used to be great friends, always laughing and talking. You knew the feelings I held, but you looked the other way.

It was not your responsibility to respond to my feelings, yet I felt wronged.

Years went by, many lovers passed, and yet I always found my way back to you.

After many years I gave up and moved on, and those feelings got locked away. We grew apart and gained a love and a lover.

Rumors spread and you no longer were seen as a good person, and my anger towards turned to sympathy. So I said hello.

Your first love had left and your lover became your next love. Yet your new love left you, and you turned to me.

I am not going to fall for your tricks. You are sly as a fox, knowing of my past feelings and using my emotions to manipulate me.

I hate to break it, I will not fall for it. You are no longer my love, you are an old love.

I can be your friend, and only that.

Because both your old loves are my precious friends, and I will not betray that.

You are just that, an old love.

It’s been months since the feeling of being trapped started.

At first the feeling wasn’t anything major, with the constant flow of work and school. But there is no more school, work was only seasonal.

There’s nowhere to be.

So these four walls are all to be seen. No reason to leave, the plates are stacking up, and so are the clothes.

Friends are all too busy, no one to talk to. These four walls are friends. Sleeping from 11pm to 3pm because nothing else seems right.

And nothing is right, and so the four walls have become the norm. Too much comfort in the walls has been established.

There’s no one to stop the four walls from becoming family, so it stays.

Trapped? It’s no longer the case.