Dear T.O. Boys

87. You don't believe harm is relational.

86. You won't hold space for anyone.

85. You refuse to be accountable for the role you play in perpetuating ongoing harm.

84. You're deeply patronizing of the women in your life.

83. You believe survivors, but only about some sorts of assault.

82. You don't see people who don't look, act and talk like you as equal to you.

81. You don't believe that there should be serious consequences for gender based violence that isn't rape.

80. You think all sexually available women are available to you whenever you want them to be.

79. You choose not to understand the difference between platonic, comforting contact and sexual contact.

78. You didn't call your peer who was making hostile, offensive, deeply sexist comments out.

77. Your generally held values are incredibly sexist, which facilitates gender based harm including sexual violence.

76. You don't believe gender based violence is a serious issues that requires social change to fully address the deep consequences.

75. I consider the information privileged and you don't have what it takes to be part of my care team.

74. You aren't enough to support me in the way I need.

73. The grief is still overwhelming.

72. I can't not cry when I talk about it, and you can't handle emotional reactions.

71. I'd rather work on solutions than dwell on details of the problem.