dear leveira

mommy & me

◡̈ 🤍

january last year was a monumental one to me! i decided then and there that i would travel to a different country every year to celebrate my birthday.. starting with new york! i loved the city, the pace, and the efficiency of everything. despite walking like 30k+ steps a day, i had such an amazing with my friends, exploring the quiet streets, weaving in and out of chinatown, and taking in that beautiful view that is NYC BABYYY! celebrating your birthday at midnight in the middle of times square with a cheesecake your friends got you is something i will never forget!

lotte's first week home!

on day 1, i picked up all our furniture purchases from fb marketplace and all the core groceries. the most important thing i picked up was my baby shiba Lotte! I still remember her being the perfect bundle of fluff at 12lbs, she was so anxious and i wasn't sure if she would like me. fast forward to today - she is my partner in crime and cuddle buddy..!! i will never regret picking her up my first day in a brand new city 🤍 so happy to explore my early twenties with you Lolo!!

i think for 2023, i want to secure the marketing job for real, aka not be on intern status. and then after that, i want to work hard for the next thing, but want to remind myself to enjoy the journey too. after all, if you want something and have the mindset to want it, then you already have it.

he stayed home from work today and i’m not sure if that was to take care of me or if he was just worried about getting his coworkers sick since he really didn’t do much for me besides buy lunch. i still made breakfast and dinner. sometimes i wonder if i’m lying to myself telling me that i’m happy to be in this relationship, and we have great fun moments, but sometimes it just doesn’t feel worth it for me since what he does and doesn’t do is a reflection for the future. not sure. another part of me thinks i’m just coming up with ways to cut it off since he’s the only reason why i’m staying in bc and not moving to toronto to secure a full time job. just overall not sure and i feel terrible for everyone

we used to think that finding a true partner meant finding the perfect perfect person - the prince charming. but entering my first real relationship ive learned that its not at all true. finding your person is about finding someone to spend time with - whether its just each other’s company, or exploring the peaks of whistler. its about learning to fulfil the needs of another person, and it doesn’t become perfect right in the beginning, or ever (maybe?). but damn a whole lot of patience is required fr!!

just came back from toronto and had an experience that really made me reflect on so many things. for one - the way i logic, categorize, explain, & capture concepts/moments might be different from other people. when youre creative, people say you have an eye, and i feel like i finally get what that means. so much of what i talk and capture is to show people how i view the world from my end, and i think its so erratic that everyone views it differently. hard to explain. not sure

grade 4! it definitely feels bittersweet thinking about high school and beyond. but looking at these photos and watching some of the videos made me realize life wasn’t always bad! i’ve made so many good memories and learned so many lessons that have led me to be the person i am today. even if we never talk again, im still grateful i experienced what i experienced i think

i want a break. i want to be cared for and loved and courted idk‼️ 

i’m so tired of having to live through a relationship with someone who has 1 best friend who hates me... for what? if you cared so much about your best friend, shouldn’t you see im the one good thing?