love letters to life

Every sunset is breathtaking, but Manila bay sunset has its own magic.

Our gym branch is almost always packed during the daytime now, so my husband and I have ended up coming at this hour instead.

One of my favorite things about being married to Pyke is how supportive he is of my journaling.

Writing has always been a big part of who I am, but it wasn't something I openly talked about. I used to feel a little shy admitting that I kept journals, almost as if it was something odd or embarrassing. I've never felt that way with Pyke. To him, journaling isn't something unproductive or something I should've outgrown. But it's simply part of who I am. He's never made me feel guilty for spending time writing instead of working, learning something or trying to be a "good homemaker". He respects my privacy, too, that I can leave my journals on the desk without worrying that he'll peek through them out of curiosity. And he's even happy to pay for premium subscriptions to my digital journals because he knows they make me happy even though I always tell him I don't need them.

One of my favorite authors is Najwa Zebian. Over the years, I’ve slowly built a small collection of her books and I also enjoy listening to her podcast. Her work has resonated with me in a way that few authors have, esp as I've been learning how to navigate difficult relationships and walk away from toxic people.

So we made a little attempt at something new, a YouTube channel, mainly to document our travels. 🤍Nothing grand, just soft travels, the way we see things, the way we feel them.

📚 Currently reading:

• Confessions of a Forty-Something F*cked Up - Really loving this funny yet somehow a bit deep than I expected!

• The Body Keeps the Score - Trying to digest this slowly because it's such a heavy read. But still fascinating & really useful for my research.

• Substack - My new hangout addiction (after Reddit, lol). I don’t even remember signing up here before, but lately I find myself checking in a couple of times a day, diving into more substantial, in-depth articles about creative living, slow living, gratitude, and the little things that make life pretty.

🍿 Currently (binge) watching:

F1 series on Netflix

Joan Didion: The Center Will Not Hold - Not the way I imagined, but yeah, it's still worth watching.

Travel vlogs & Gala Ni Ced on YT

Dua lipa interviews 🩷

🎧 Currently listening:

• Cat Clyde albums - Newly discovered favorite! I need to get back into my Spotify habit of discovering new songs; I’d forgotten how therapeutic it can be.

• Room for 2 by Dua Lipa

• Najwa Zebian podcast - For healing, mental health, therapy purposes🌻

1:08am. Can’t sleep.

I left a piece of my soul in Sagada.

I've been home for days now, yet a part of me is still somewhere along the mountain roads of Sagada. I keep catching myself half-jokingly wanting to ask my husband if we can just book another bus ticket next week! I've been trying to figure out why it affected me this much. No, it wasn't just the postcard-perfect views, there was something else like the kind that makes you pause mid-step just because you want to take it all in. I can still feel the cool mountain air that feels like a reset oxygen for my lungs. I love the little moments of serendipity such as seeing the rice terraces in real life by surprise and damn, did it leave me speechless. I love how right it feels to sip hot coffee while looking out over the mountains in the cold morning air. And the way I got a glimpse of their slow rhythm of life, unhurried, simple, yet deeply content.

birthday thoughts

I've never really been one for birthday celebrations. I neither do parties nor invite friends over. Most of my birthdays simply came and went which is usually spent in an office cubicle during my years in BPO and media as sad as that may sound. Yesterday, something unexpectedly got to me and I kind of blame Facebook. I usually deactivate it around my birthday just because I like keeping my day a little discreet. Besides, I've never really enjoyed being in the spotlight and I've always liked to think that if we're close enough, you'd remember my birthday without a notification. But this year, I left FB active. And without meaning to, I found myself noticing who greeted me... and those who didn't. I hate the fact that I noticed that, I hate admitting that I expected to hear from certain people but didn't. Had I deactivated Facebook like I usually do, I probably wouldn't have given it a second thought, right? After all, this should be one of my best birthdays since I'm spending it for the first time with my husband. I know Facebook isn't a fair measure of friendship (and it should never be.) Life gets busy and some people barely use social media anymore and I'm one of them sometimes.

Still, I'm genuinely grateful to everyone who took the time to send me a greeting. Whether they're a simple message or a thoughtful note, they meant more than they probably realize esp to those low-key friends I never expected to hear from, thank you. You made someone's day.

Things I'm thankful for this birthday:

Thank You God for the gift of life. I'm healthy and I got to spend my birthday with my husband. That alone is enough.

🥳 We ended up having dinner at Vikings because of their birthday promo. It was my first time experiencing something like that. They even surprised me with a mini cake and a candle to blow out. It was such a simple, thoughtful gesture. It was actually Pyke's idea to eat there after we spontaneously decided to go out for dinner. I kept telling him we didn't need to spend anything because he already spoils me enough. He even suggested going on a quick trip out of the city, but I told him we'd save it for another time when he isn't busy with work.

My friends. My core group from Miriam, whom I've known since high school and my long-distance friend in Japan who sent me such a thoughtful note. Even the simplest birthday greetings felt incredibly special.

Call to me, and I will answer you;

I will tell you wonderful and marvelous things that you know nothing about.

Jeremiah 33:3

Book review: Queenie

Rating: 2/5

I honestly had no idea where this book was going. 😂 I only picked it up because Dua Lipa read it too, lol.

I get the sense that it was intentionally written to feel "plotless," more like a stream of consciousness kind of (or perhaps, I just didn't fully get its literary depth!) I guess I also wasn't exactly in the right headspace to hyper-analyze every page since I came into it purely wanting to be entertained and not necessarily to write an academic paper afterwards. 😆 To be fair, I read it on and off over the course of 2 months, so I'm sure I forgot some details along the way. But if I had to sum it up, it's mostly about a 25-year-old woman drifting through life, sleeping around and carrying an incredibly low opinion of herself. That's the impression that stayed with me, anyway. I wanted to sympathize with the FMC. I really did. But I never quite found that emotional connection. There were also so many characters and names introduced that I kept losing track of who everyone was and why they mattered, which made it even harder for me to stay invested.