Let me explain to you how someone saved my life unknowingly .
I was in a relationship for 2 Β½ years , we had a child . I was treated like absolute shit . Miserable, didnβt know my worth because I was worth nothing to him. A year ago everything changed .
Oct. 2015 is when my eating disorder started .
It started with going to the gym and just trying to watch what I ate , then the calorie constriction . Got to the point to where I would go a few days on nothing but tea and a couple bites of food. Never made myself throw up or anything. All I did was run and smoke cigarettes to curve my appetite.
I went from 157 lbs to 93 lbs ( black and white picture , my lowest July 2016 ) in 8 months. My legs didnβt touch, I had nothing but bones and veins coming out from my body. My eyes had sunken bags under them, my neck was gross . My arms were gross. I went from c cup to not fitting an a cup in juniors . Mind you, Iβm 5'5 and 125 is considered ideal weight . All I did was sleep and always in a bad mood, I stopped having periods and my hair was falling out β¦
August 2016 ; at this point I had moved up to Kansas City to live with my mom leaving my kids father . I got a job at super 8 and it was an excuse to be to busy to not eat since my mom kindle had the idea I wasnβt eating . I gained a bit of weight though from developing a drinking problem . I was 98 lbs when I got to Kansas City .
October 2016 ; 109 lbs and drinking clear liquor to curb my appetite and an immense pothead. Let me explain how my life changed for the best this monthβ¦.
There had been this guy who checked into the hotel in September , fast forward to October after him staying there for that long , us occasionally having small talk. I was attracted to him yes , had a nice smile and seemed to keep to himself unlike some guys . Well anyways back to October right before Halloween , we talked one night and he tried getting my number and I turned him down but gave in a few minutes later. He wanted to go out the next night . Well some shit happened that night ( my sister getting abducted) so I blew him off technically . Next night I did go , and let me tell you I had a lot of fun and havenβt felt that good in a while . We drank , bowled, laser tag, ate , went to the airport to wait for planes , then drove around the city.
Cut to the bullshit, itβs now December and weβve been together for about a month and let me tell you Iβve never had so much fun in my life . He made me feel good about myself, happiness , confidenceβ¦. I feel my worth.
And here I am today ( colored picture ) at 125 lbs of nothing but love and happiness.
It takes the right person to effortlessly make sure you feel content.
I now know what itβs like to feel my worth .
And sometimes you donβt realize how low you were until you feel a hint of normality.
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