Deranged.
Are monsters born, or created?
That was just one of many thoughts that rang through Wade’s mind when he was left alone with nothing but his thoughts and his mouth to keep him company. And let me tell you, the inside of this man’s head was not somewhere anyone would ever want to go - ever. He was mental - as some called - even back then before the Canadian Base of Weapon X sank their claws into him. Never knew why he got the rush when he killed. Maybe it wasn’t even the killing that made his insides all tingly, but the money that came with it.
Oh yeah, the money was good. And he got to do whatever he wanted, when he wanted. If Wade really tried, he could recall every single name he went by - most of his victims..the guilty one’s were far easier to remember than the innocent.. and he could tell you how much he made off each head. Hell, he’d even brag about it and go into every grusome detail he could muster with his creative mouth. Of course, some of it was stretched out.. but the story always ended the same. Death.
Life had a funny way of setting things back in order. “Well, isn’t this ironic?” was the first thing that came to mind when he discovered he had cancer. But man just loved to fight nature.. ever read or watched Jurassic Park? Well, think of Weapon X as the scientist’s, and Wade among many other humans and mutants alike - as the dinosaur’s. Instead of life taking care of them on it’s own, these people who loved to play God changed the fate’s original design. The man that currently went under the name of Wade Wilson should have died. Many lives would have been saved, both good and evil. But instead, this creature that was supposed to go extinct and rot in the dirt still lived, breathed, and killed.
Weapon X took his life into their own, yes. But they took something more important; what little humanity that he still had. The only one’s who truly knew what the project did to Wade was himself, and the one’s who broke him down, and built him back up into a weapon. And what a good weapon he was! He followed his orders - mostly. He didn’t attack his teammates - mostly. Though they attacked him quite often. He did what he did and did a damn good job of it.
Hey.. if you pick a profession, love what you do, right?
“Paint me in blood, mo’fuucka~”
Weapon X did their best to try to convince him he was simply born this way and they simply brought out his true potential. Honestly, if he cared, he might have believed it.. but he began down this path long, long ago. This was just the final kicker. He was brainwashed and he knew it. But the difference between him and the others was that he didn’t care. Was that due to what they did to him, or was it simply who he was? Well, if you were to ask him now with the assumption he would answer, he wouldn’t know.
It was so much easier to just deal with the simple things in life. Crack a joke, crack a skull, eat a burger.. that kind of thing. It was easy to keep life simple when you were kept busy getting your hands dirty.
“Now, see, this is the part where I kill you, you die, and I go home and call it a night. But that’s so over-done, wouldn’t you think? I mean, I’ve been at this game a long time - a really long time - years! The same old, same old gets dull and boring after a while! What, aren’t you some kind of… Oh, hell, I forgot to read your file. Guess those zero’s on your head were pretty distracting. Nyhehee~”
“You’re a mon-“
“BANG!” Wade whipped his gun from his hip and jerked it back, as though it fired. After a tense moment with him and his captive, a dark chuckle rang through the darkened room. “Just kidding.~” He purred playfully before suddenly shoving the barrel into his victim’s mouth. A sickening crack as teeth were broken and cracked could be heard with the motion. Screaming filled the air after that, though Wade seemed completely oblivious to this as he dug his barrel further down the man’s throat. “See, I find it rude when people interrupt, don’t you? Here I am, trying to have a nice conversation and you butt right in! With an insult! I don’t like being insulted..” He cackled. Once he was satisfied with how deep his gun was down his throat, he let go, bringing his now free hand to his chin. “Okay, now where was I..?”
Wade turned away from the man, who was currently tied to a kitchen table, with the table flipped over to face the general direction of his to-be-killer. A gloved hand grabbed a chair and swung it around, flopping it directly in front of the man before Wade sat his ass right down in it. He was sitting in it backwards, and draped his arms around the back-end as he continued to make himself comfortable as can be. Chapped and broken lips that lay hidden beneath his mask as they smacked together, warted tongue making a sad attempt at giving the moisture before returning to the inside of his mouth.
“Awweee, don’t look at me like that! I’m really not that bad of a guy! You should see some of my co-workers. Now they’re a real piece of work. Hell, if it were up to me, I’d rather one of them be strapped where you are with my gun down their throat! As it were.. they’re not. Sucks for you, don’t it, buddy?” Wade sighed, bringing his other gun out to his left hand to scratch the side of his head. “Do you ever think about what things would be like if you didn’t make the choices you did? Like, take things back? That’s been on my mind quite a lot lately, to be honest.. you know, between killing poor suckers like you and collecting freaks’n’geeks for X. But when I start to think like that… I just think - Hell, I’m mother-fucking-Deadpool!”
A cackle rang through the air as he pointed his gun and shot. The bullet busted into the man’s knee cap, and gurgled and gagged screams rang through the empty building once more.
“You know.. you’re really killing my little sentimental-mood.” Wade sighed, rubbing the back of his neck as he tapped the barrel to his own forehead. “But, tell you what!” Wade jumped up, skipping right up to the man and gave a lovely pinch to his cheek. “You’ve been a real sport, letting me talk like you’re some kinda shitty-cheep shrink! It’s been fun! But, business calls, and I’ve got another hit I’ve gotta go collect on! I was hired to make this pretty grotesque.. you were such a good listener though that I think I’ll let you off the hook! How about I kill you and then make a Mona Lisa from your body instead of the other way around? Sound good?”
A gloved hand reached up, gently stroking a few of the many tears running down the horrified man’s face. He didn’t want to die.. but, who did? “Say hello to Lady Death for me. She’s a real babe; be a gentlemen, yeah? Sayonara!” Wade grabbed the handle of the gun that was so deeply cocked down this mans throat and without further ado, pulled the trigger.
Maybe the next one wouldn’t complain so much.
