Chasing Her Sunrise.

One of the biggest deception and misconception of the society is the concept of isolation. I reckon for many of you, the concept of isolation must be somewhere along the lines of loneliness, emptiness, monochromes, and even depression. I don’t blame you for having such a conception; it may appear that way if you don’t look closely enough.

  This piece hopefully will shed a different light to society’s existing conception of isolation. Standing from a viewpoint of an introvert, one that cherishes alone-times every now and then, you’ll be welcomed into a whole new blissful, empowering, and colourful world of isolation.

      Often shivers run down people’s backs when they hear the word isolation. Isolation equals loneliness, so they say.

  I came across a quote that has been stuck with me for a while now. It’s from a book written by Macrina Widerkehr, and it reads: “If you’re hungry for growth, spend time with your loneliness.”

  At first, though it caught my unwitting attention, it made no sense whatsoever to me. But after a while of pondering, then it hit me.

  Of course the writer didn’t mean ‘loneliness’ in a depressive way; she meant it as being alone – you know, forgetting the rest of the world for a minute fraction of time, and just focus on your own self.

  She simply meant that if you’re fearful of being on your own, you’re missing out on one of the essentials to grow.

  You see, I think being ‘alone’ is a pretty good place to discover and re-discover yourself. You’re being given the room, the luxury of time, and the lavishness of space, to retrospect and introspect inwards. Through these processes, you’ll realise many things about the world, about your day, and more often than not, about yourself, which you tend to often miss in the middle of all the hullabaloos.

  Now, I’d never go anywhere without remembering that sentence. It empowers me in the way love empowers people.

  It leaves me fearless.

      For me, isolation equals sanity break. And by that I mean, isolation equals, believe it or not, being free.

  In this day and age, solitude or just a brief moment of silence is like a rare gem. We are always clustered, buried, and trapped in the hustle and bustle of our daily lives that sometimes even finding the time to breathe seems to be such a hard thing to do. In the same way, our minds are given no time and space to catch a breath and unwind.

  Do you know that in psychology, over exhaustion, or simply lack of sanity breaks, is one of the main causes for mental breakdowns?

  Think of isolation as being on your own in peace, in your own time, in your own space. To me, that luxury, that freedom, is even more precious than gold. Truth to be told, your mind have been working like a busy well-oiled structured machine, you desperately owe it its freedom to do what the mind does best: Wonder.

  Have a time-out. Be outside of time for a bit. Be free.

      Another misconception about isolation is that it is deemed to be boring, bland, and unadventurous. As for me, I think it’s the other way around – Isolation equals being adventurous.

  The little laneways of Melbourne city actually facilitate isolation, believe it or not. This busy city, you might ask? Yes.

  Those little laneways just make it extremely easy for you to get lost and immerse you in the wonder that is this beautiful city, and while doing that, allowing you to plunge into your own thoughts and just be free.

  Isolation means getting lost, getting lost in your thoughts and in the wonders and beauty around you. It means being adventurous.

      Isolation equals not missing the main object.

  Take this example: One of my favourite laneways here in Melbourne is that one on Flinders street, just beside the Mexican restaurant, the one is painted full in graffiti. It’s one of the most sought-after laneways here, both for tourists and locals.

  The first time I went there was with a bunch of friends for an impromptu photo shoot. The photos were stunning, the graffiti walls really made the perfect backdrop.

  The next time I came back to the same laneway, I was alone. Only then did I realise how special the graffiti walls are. I never realized that that bit over there is blue, and that bit is green, and that other bit at the far end is a mixture of red and yellow.

  How did I miss paying attention to those colours?

  What I’m trying to say is, sometimes when you’re isolated and alone, you start seeing things for what they are – the main object of the picture, and not just a mere backdrop.

  It makes me question: How many main objects in life have you treated as a mere backdrop?

  How many main things in life have you missed out on?

      One of the biggest deception and misconception of the society is the concept of isolation. It is when people think of it as being locked up with the mind caged.

I know from my faintest memory that sometime ago, I have written a piece similar to this one – However, this issue is something that is so close to my heart and is one that keeps on recurring even until this day that I feel the more often someone brings out this issue, the better.

  So many people, both girls and boys, unlimited to only an age group, suffer from what we know as insecurities. The fact that only a few days ago, my own friend suffers the same social issue breaks my heart that I feel the need to write regarding this matter.

  I reckon, being twenty (or twenty-ish) serves as one of the contributing factors of one’s vulnerability. It’s that age group in between teenage years and young adult, it’s that point in life just after you feel that the world is your oyster and shortly getting your hopes smashed right onto your feet for realising that the world is much bigger than an oyster.

  What’s interesting to me is that sometime not too long ago, we associate insecurities with one’s physique, such as “I need to starve myself to be able to look as hot as her,” or “Damn it! I haven’t eaten for 3 days and yet here I am still looking like a big, fat pig!” But the truth is, often times, insecurities also refer to that feeling of not being cool enough to certain social cliques, or not feeling good enough to be a certain talent, or maybe, not feeling cool enough – as a person generally.

  Not long ago, I was chained to my insecurities myself. You see, being only five foot tall and being what others perceive as “chubby-but-not-fat” isn’t really the boost that I need to feel… pretty or attractive. See, everyone suffers the same fate. However, in my case, it wasn’t the in-your-face kind of insecurity. Instead, it was more of this subtle creep rather than a huge stomp and a really tiny whisper instead of a loud bang kind of insecurity. But no matter how big or how little it is, insecurities are still insecurities.

  As for my friend, he too suffers the same kind of insecurity. Except, maybe with a little more hint of denial. You see, the first step to attack your insecurities upfront is to acknowledge. The demon always wants to be acknowledged in order for you to cast it away. His insecurity is more towards the social realm of friendship groups – How he feels knocked down after seeing a picture on social media of his group of friends who embrace the metropolitan kind of lifestyle, you know, the going-to-fancy-bars and eating-in-the-hottest-restaurant-in-town kind of lifestyle.

  I’m sure he knows and everyone knows (I hope) that no lifestyle is a bad one – unless it involves chugging down booze and taking on pills to stay ‘happy’. Basically, everyone has their own lifestyle they feel comfortable to follow. As an introvert goes, his version of a happy lifestyle involves drinking coffee with a novel in hand. But the problem is, with that picture popped up on his news feed, he caught a feeling of jealousy.

  I asked why and he said, “I just do” and sweep it under the rug.

  How many “I just do”s do you tend to just sweep under the rug? Have you ever addressed the elephant in the room?

  You see, in my friend’s case, as ironic as this may sound, he suffers from an insecurity that his version of happiness isn’t good enough. I can only imagine how many people are tangled in this kind of insecurity - the insecurity that feasts on your happiness.

  What I can say regarding this matter and what I’ve learned all these years is for us to be comfortable in whatever skin we are in. When you’ve got all that all figured out, nothing and noone can come your way and take your happiness from you. But firstly, you must get to know yourself and make peace with it.

  If your version of happiness is you staying home watching sappy romantic movies, then you shouldn’t budge when a picture of your friends hitting the local club pops up in your news feed. You can’t try to make two people share the same version of happiness – People have their own definitions of what happiness it to them.

  I’ll tell you a secret.

  When you look as happy as can be being your own person, chances are – People might look at you and just wonder how they can get that for themselves. 

How fast time flies always bamboozles me. As I write this, we are in the final hours on the chapter we know as 2014. I could only remember scenes vaguely, it's as if I'm transported to the end somehow.

I reckon it's always a customary thing, or rather something natural, that when we are at the end, we remember the beginning. For me, it became almost like a solemn ritual. It's as though we know it deep in our hearts that life is this long, never-ending circle - Its end is always connected to the (or, new) beginning(s).

At the very beginning of this year, I vowed to experience everything and every thing. All the emotions, all the embraces, all the heart cries, all the heart-felts, all the mountain highs and valley lows. And now at the end as I look back, the year served me just that.

From the devastation that was seeing all those people graduating in August and knowing I should've graduated with them until that gleeful, seemingly-stupid smile I couldn't wipe off from my face when I did finally in December. From my the intensive, excruciating 3-day ABA training all the way to my first day of work as an ABA therapist with the Rzesniowickes. The occasional fights and make-up kisses, the brutal jealousy, the peaceful acceptance, the rewarding quality times, the sanity breaks, and the risk taking decisions - All of them, and so much more in fact, have highlighted my own 2014.

I'd like to end this post there with the thoughts and memories of 2014. I have a good couple of hours left before it officially takes its curtain call - I guess, I'd embrace these good couple of hours left with 2014 like an old friend. 

Come here and hug it out, old friend. Life is like a never-ending, every end is always connected to a beginning. When the sun officially sets on the last day of 2014, a new one rises on the first day of 2015. 

Come here and hug it out, old friend. So long, thank you for the memories.

Dear Lang Leav,

Your writings in “Lullabies” are truly well and beyond the seventh sky. They are nothing short of wonderful, whimsical, and most importantly - they are very much alive.

The main thing that caught me by surprise is how your writing is able to evoke this feeling that I thought I have buried long ago and therefore are long forgotten. How it could do so is beyond me.

For that I salute you. Your writings capture my heart in so many different ways I do not know whether to rejoice and celebrate or scream in agony and woe.

But then, that’s the thing, I reckon - That’s what Love is, all the different facets of Love;

and that’s what Love does, the different paradoxes of Love.

And Lang, that is exactly what your writings really are - They are simply Love on paper.

What made my Sunday -

Tucked in, sleeping in, leaving all the worries of the world, and finally dedicating a quality time for myself on this casual Sunday with Lang Leav’s beautiful new release “Lullabies” finally on my lap.